Calculus
Zero divided by one is zero,
but it bothered me
from my first conception
of mathematics
that one cannot
be divided by zero
and that it is incalculable.
When I found Calculus
new horizons
opened for me
and I saw mathematics
in another light
and I could find
how one approaches zero
and suddenly
Algebra became clearer.
At first the Calculus dragon
tried to incinerate me
and lengths, volumes and areas
looked like madness to me,
but later I understood the functions
and derivatives
and exponents
and logarithmic functions
became clear to me.
I understood that real numbers
have no greatest
or smallest number
and that there’s always
a larger number
that goes on infinitely.
Limits, gradients and curves,
maximum and minimum values
of functions
and rates of change
and integration and differentiation
made that I
could write my own formulas
and could solve problems
that where unsolvable before
and the Calculus dragon
protected me
and became my pet.
poem by Gert Strydom
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
U Me = Us
Performed by 2gether
Written by brian gunn, mark gunn, josh schwartz and brian kieruff
I'm losing my hair
And my vision is shady
Last night i dreamt
Of an overweight lady.
But i need a young thing
To keep up with my pace
To hold me in her arms,
And take me straight to second base
I know my calculus
It says you + me = us
Yeah, oh, sing it chad, for me
I know my calculus
It says you + me = us
{oh yeah}
Calculus
Semi-rap:
Yeah..haha..c'mon..we're together
(we're together)
Girl algebra or trigonometry could never equal up
To what you do to me
So let's intergrate
Don't differentiate
If you were in my class,
There ain't no way i could pass
I hate english, gym, and not to mention
I can't even afford to pay my attention
No philosophy could ever come between us
But we'll always have our calculus
Chorus
I know my calculus
It says u + me = us
Said i know my calculus
It says u + me = us
We're together forever, c'mon
Calculus, calculus
[westsideee] *i think it should be easttsieeedeee!!
Go go go go go go go go go go (repeat)
Ooh baby, oh lord
U + me = us
Well, i've never been good at history
And i don't give a crap about robert e. lee
When it comes to cosines,
I know a thing or two
And i kicked ass on the test about me and you
Chorus
You (u)
Plus sign (+)
Me (me)
Equal sign (=)
Us (us)
Girl, no subject comes close to you.
2gether sing it
I know my calculuh-uh-uh-ussss
Repeat chorus
Repeat until end
song performed by by 2gether
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
This is a tricky domain because, unlike simple arithmetic, to solve a calculus problem - and in particular to perform integration - you have to be smart about which integration technique should be used: integration by partial fractions, integration by parts, and so on.
quote by Marvin Minsky
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Command of the Language
I have the command of the language
When it comes to frisky sex and
Mathematics,
For I adore every conic section
Of your perfectly proportioned
Surface area-
From your sumptuous cones
To your magnificent ellipses,
And the congruent circles
Of your areolas-
Hidden by the hyperbolic veneer
Of your bra and your symmetric
G-string,
Don't get me wrong, for I've
Studied the subtle dimensions
Of your curvature,
And went off on many a tangent,
Deriving your continuous
Sexual functions,
That led me to your delta of Venus,
As my y changed with your x,
In the act of orgasmic
Integration-
Since then I've learned
That pi is truly a transcendental
Number,
That no rational number can
Approximate,
And you are boundless
In your beauty,
Opening up my mind
To infinite possibilities.
January 12,2008
poem by Alexander Shaumyan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Functions
Functions are held so that hosts are focused.
Functions are held so that guests are spotted.
Functions are extravagant meeting grounds.
28.03.2007
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I Also Know The Language Of Numbers
they manage to express themselves in some equations
to find what they still do not know, such as their x's and y's.
for years, i sleep with the number One.
Wanting to get away from the hazards of the Zero,
Found help with the Number Two
who took away some tens and hundreds from me
In favor of Sixteen.
Well, anyway, Number One as always is Patient.
And passionate about my Algebraic State.
As a number, I do not bleed.
My root is numb. My world is always accurate
Down to the nth digit.
I had another One, Like Three and Four
but they always end up to Null.
In the calculus of the heart, things are always moving.
A change of one thing is also a change of the other.
Finally, i get tired of this world of numbers.
Numb Senses. I go back to Philosophy, and Social Studies.
The lives of the Pop star, the soap opera at night,
the latest rumor that Michael Jackson is murdered.
The latest scandal of a certain closet queen matinee idol.
Lots of these, simply to take me away from
the Numbness of it all.
Meanwhile, i am taking lunch with a rebel.
I am stepping into the passionate world out there.
The military is jealous. And of course, I am cautious.
The cheese, and the rat, and the trap and the
Aerobics exercises. Look at the cat, it is making sense
of its ninth life.
Take care. Sleep tight.
Find your code book and decipher the words.
What can i say? Sleep well, You still have other things
to do,
To justify your poetry
and Your Lousy existence.
Exequator Zorro.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
U Me = Us [dream Maker Club Mix]
u + me = us (calculus) [dream maker club mix]
Performed by 2gether
Written by brian gunn, mark gunn, josh schwartz and brian kierulf
Bob buss: all those girls, block upon block upon block.
They all come here lookin for their dream boys. heh.
Who makes those dreams?
Me.
That's what i do. that's my job.
A dream maker.
Boy bands. boy bands, boy bands.
There are 5 basic types in any successful boyband.
You got your rebel, your bad boy, one.
You got your shy, bashful type, two.
You got your little guy, your dewey-eyed youngster, three.
Four, your reassuring, older brother type.
And the heartthrob, your teen idol.
He's the guy who holds it all together, y'know
He's the guy who's eyes are lookin at you from the poster saying, "hold me.
Take care of me."
And that boy cannot have a tattoo!
U + me = us
U + me = us
I know my calculus
It says you plus me = us
Said i know my calculus
It says you plus me = us
Carson: i'm carson daly. here we are. total request live. i'm here with super
Megagroup 2gether.
Tell me a little about your name. 2gether, which is awesome by the way.
Jerry: two words, carson. bob buss.
Mickey: yeah, man, the great bob buss, yo.
Well i've never been good at history
And i don't give a crap about robert e. lee
When it comes to cosines
I know a thing or two
And i kicked ass on the test about me and you
Chorus
I know my calculus
It says u + me = us
Said i know my calculus
It says u + me = us
What the world needs now is boybands
Buss: perfect! no problem. i've got a boyband!
Boy bands
Buss: what i need now is my troublemaker.
I know where the bad boys hang out.
Girl, algebra or trigonometry could never equal up
To what you do to me.
So let's intergrate
Don't differentiate
If you were in my class,
There ain't no way i could pass
I hate english, gym, and not to mention
I can't even afford to pay my attention
No philosophy could ever come between us
But we'll always have our calculus
Repeat chorus 2x
U + me = us
U + me = us
It's not about braces really
Or money or fame. or girls. heh.
U + me = us
I'ts about respect.
And integrity
Girl, no subject comes close to you
2gether sing it
I know my calculu-uhuhuhuhuhs
Chorus
Jerry: i'm jerry o'keefe!
I'm gonna be a star.
Director: and again i'm gonna be a star. arms wide! i'm gonna make it!
I'm gonna be a star!!!
Okay, now make me believe it! i'm gonna make it! i'm gonna be a star! *girls
Screaming*
song performed by by 2gether
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
So long as man is protected by madness - he functions - and flourishes.
quote by Emile M. Cioran
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Therefore God is one, if that which admits of so great power can be nothing else: and yet those who deem that there are many gods, say that they have divided their functions among themselves; but we will discuss all these matters at their proper places.
quote by Lactantius
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Two Divided By Zero
(two divided by zero, zero)
(two divided by zero, zero, zero)
Lets not go home, well catch the late train
Ive got enough money to pay all the way
When the postman calls, hell deliver the letter
Ive explained everything; its better that way
(divided by, divided by) I think they heard a rumour
(divided by, divided by) or someone tipped them off
(divided by, divided by) its better to go sooner
(divided by, divided by) than call it all off
Well catch a plane to new york, and a cab going down
Cross the bridges and tunnels, straight into town
Tomorrow morning well be miles away
On another continent and another day
(divided by, divided by) lets not go home
(divided by, divided by) or call it a day
(divided by, divided by) you wont be alone
(divided by, divided by) lets run away
(two divided by zero, zero)
(two divided by zero, zero, zero)
(d...d...d...d...d...divided by)
(divided by, divided by)
(z...z...z...z...z...zero, zero)
(divided by)
(turn of that noise...)
(divided by, divided by) someone spread a rumour
(divided by, divided by zero, zero)
(divided by, divided by) better to go sooner
(divided by, divided by) lets run away
So why hang around for the deed to be done
You can give it all up for a place in the sun
When the postman calls well be miles away
On a plane to new york and another day
(divided by, divided by) I think they heard a rumour
(divided by, divided by) or someone tipped them off
(divided by, divided by) better to go sooner
(divided by, divided by) than call it all off
(divided by, divided by) someone spread a rumour
(divided by, divided by) and someone has to pay
(divided by, divided by) lets not go home
(divided by, divided by) lets run away
(divided by, divided by) lets not go home
(divided by, divided by) lets run away
song performed by by Pet Shop Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Science is Boring
There's something bothers all of us
And that is this thing called calculus
At school we wonder why on earth
This subject might have any worth
Yet when we use our mobile telephones
Or watch TV or at home
Each thing we do is largely governed by
A mathematics that's the reason why
We may live here upon this earth
Yet touch the sky.
For science is boring
And well worth ignoring
It has no use! It has no use!
Of that we know!
So when you're exploring
The net or just something
Just realise that science
Is but just a word for everything
That we do know.
poem by David Keig
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I think it's going to deliver on the promises we've said it's going to and it is going to be the most successful product ever to come into the handheld environment, and it just happens to have a number of different functions.
quote by Ian Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
As can be seen even by this limited number of examples proteins carry out amazingly diverse functions.
quote by Michael Behe
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Zero Covers All
Lately I realize.
I am a numb number,
living through life.
First child.
Date of birth.
Sixth star of twenty-seven.
Scorpio numbers six of twelve.
Studied tenth class,
Then 5-year’s graduation,
Every class I had a scroll number.
Exams written on id number.
Studied law.
Head churning three years,
with numbered sections.
Penal code, constitution.
Clauses of law in numbered sects.
Registered in bar council.
Legal practice.
Case files are numbered.
Subsequently I got,
House number, door number.
Phone number.
Mobile number.
Account numbers.
Credit card number.
Pan card number,
Folio numbers,
Car number,
License number,
Policy number,
Health card number,
Election card number,
Passport number,
Ration card number,
Ultimately, when you put me in morgue,
allotted me a number.
Which, I do no know.
However, I know a number.
I am a big zero.
It covers all my life
Yes, we discovered zero.
What a relief?
Does it not cover all?
fulfill all values!
By the way your number please?
X number or N number?
Infinite numbers.
________________
poem by Satheesan Rangorath
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The functions of the family in a highly differentiated society are not to be interpreted as functions directly on behalf of the society, but on behalf of personality.
quote by Talcott Parsons
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Of Puzzles And Troubled Hearts
if only..
the problems and pains..
and trials i am in now
are math puzzles i ma so sure
more than sure enough
i hads find the values of
my variables whatever they might be
the X or the Y..i should
had gone through trials and errors
and nobody will complain
how many times will i do it
how many errors will i make
till i find the solutions
that could solve my equations and then i
would be glad..
i should had done substitution or
the process of eliminations
or the comparison and contrast
whether in differential
or integral calculus
i would not mind how many liquid erasers
i will consume nor
how many crampled papers thrown
on hungry waste bins they had
no feelings anyway, no emotions to consider
so i will not hesitates to repeat
mistakes and and tons of mistakes
till i know and contended
the solutions are best
yet i am dealing with a soul
endowed with a with
a heart that bleeds
a mind that cares
and whatever my solutions are
it will touch others lives and might
change the disposition of souls
it is too hard to retrace moments bask
when there will be agonies
because you had made something not
accepted by society and man
tand that would be bad
ah,, there is a big difference
between math problems and life dilemma
nobody got hurts in Math
and you can erase mistakes anytime
but in the game of life
one mistake you die...
and that was that
no ifs no buts..
so just be careful enough
poem by Villiamor Calventas
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
If one looks at the different problems of the integral calculus which arise naturally when one wishes to go deep into the different parts of physics, it is impossible not to be struck by the analogies existing.
quote by Henri Poincare
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The sum of life
Sometimes I wonder
how life is,
like a sum
with no true answers
and have no result
until its end.
Life stretches
into the distance,
with a end and a beginning
or that is what humans believe;
while nothing can
determine the before and the thereafter
and everything is determined by faith.
What lies on the other side
of life
and what you are
before and after it,
goes from neglibility
to infinity
and I wonder
how that mathematics
still makes sense;
while the clockwork keeps striking
and time goes on
with its own passage
and life
stands still for no one.
Who knows how the Almighty
determined the life energy
and determines who and what we are
and make much greater sums,
than we can determine
with derivatives, differentiation, limits
and pure mathematics;
or do we want to believe
that destiny
holds the clockwork for everyone
and everything responds to the things
around it
and reacts on its own
and life evolutionary ticks at its own rhythm
and nature
and every thing about us
runs down into the nothingness
into which every thing slowly disappears?
[Reference: “To whom then will you compare me, or who is my equal? Says the Holy One. Lift up your eyes on high and see: Who created these? He who brings out their host and numbers them, calling them all by name; because he is great in strength, mighty in power, not one is missing. Why do you say, O Jacob, “My way is hidden from the Lord and my right is disregarded by my God? ” Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable.” Isaiah 40: 25-26.]
poem by Gert Strydom
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Mathematics is the future Latin language, mandatory for all scientists, just because mathematics allows maximum acceleration of scientific circulation.
aphorism by Grigore Moisil (1970), translated by Marin Vlada
Submitted by Marin Vlada
Vote! | Copy!
Mathematics is the queen of sciences and number theory is the queen of mathematics.
quote by Carl Friedrich Gauss
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy! | In Romanian
The Number Nought
I really think that people ought
Value more the number 'nought'
Without this number much would differ
No algebra, no calculator
No internet and no PCs
A maths developed differently
'Nought' is the number that enables
Us to solve all those equations.
poem by David Keig
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!