What did I do in high school? I grew from 5 feet 4 inches to 6 feet 2 inches.
quote by Gregory Peck
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Distance In Miles Feb 27th,2011
I’m sorry but I never did forget inches, feet, yards and miles,
And I can’t forget Fahrenheit; replaced by Celsius denials,
I feel as though I’ve broken some rule or law and maybe I did,
I’m looking around for a sign that says, what I did was forbid.
I’m sure our Ottawa bureaucrats thought this change was great,
Dump the old inches and feet and miles and don’t have any debate,
Then our politically correct politicians all said yes,
I still think the numbers on my car speedometer are a mess.
I’ve not known the distance from Montreal to Toronto since then,
Nor the temperatures on TV though I hear them again and again,
Maybe I should see a psychiatrist to see what’s wrong with me,
How long has this being going on; maybe I need some vitamin B?
FEB 27TH,2011
poem by James Bredin
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The tongue is but three inches long, yet it can kill a man six feet high.
The Three Foot Rule
When I was bound apprentice, and learned to use my hands,
Folk never talked of measures that came from foreign lands:
Now I'm a British Workman, too old to go to school;
So whether the chisel or file I hold, I'll stick to my three-foot rule.
Some talk of millimetres, and some of kilogrammes,
And some of decilitres, to measure beer and drams;
But I'm a British Workman, too old to go to school,
So by pounds I'll eat, and by quarts I'll drink, and I'll work by my three-foot rule.
A party of astronomers went measuring the earth,
And forty million metres they took to be its girth;
Five hundred million inches, though, go through from pole to pole;
So let's stick to inches, feet and yards, and the good old three-foot rule.
poem by William John Macquorn Rankine
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The Ant Explorer
Once a little sugar ant made up his mind to roam-
To fare away far away, far away from home.
He had eaten all his breakfast, and he had his ma's consent
To see what he should chance to see and here's the way he went
Up and down a fern frond, round and round a stone,
Down a gloomy gully where he loathed to be alone,
Up a mighty mountain range, seven inches high,
Through the fearful forest grass that nearly hid the sky,
Out along a bracken bridge, bending in the moss,
Till he reached a dreadful desert that was feet and feet across.
'Twas a dry, deserted desert, and a trackless land to tread,
He wished that he was home again and tucked-up tight in bed.
His little legs were wobbly, his strength was nearly spent,
And so he turned around again and here's the way he went-
Back away from desert lands feet and feet across,
Back along the bracken bridge bending in the moss,
Through the fearful forest grass shutting out the sky,
Up a mighty mountain range seven inches high,
Down a gloomy gully, where he loathed to be alone,
Up and down a fern frond and round and round a stone.
A dreary ant, a weary ant, resolved no more to roam,
He staggered up the garden path and popped back home.
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
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I have no trouble with the twelve inches between my elbow and my palm. It's the seven inches between my ears that's bent.
quote by Tug McGraw
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There's Snow In Olinda
The high road closed to traffic you can't drive that way
And in the high mountain village kids with snowballs play
And it snowed in Olinda four inches today
In the coldest part of Sherbrooke some venture to say.
Down through the high country the Winter winds blow
And though cold in Olinda it seldom does snow
Four inches a good fall though elders recall
That they can remember a much bigger fall.
It's been snowing in Olinda on the higher ground
Four inches this morning 'the word's got around'
The last kick of Winter and Spring is so near
But such is expected at this time of year.
There's snow in Olinda a wonderful sight
And the golf course and park is a blanket of white
And kids in the village are playing in the snow
And through the high country the Winter winds blow.
poem by Francis Duggan
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Bound Feet
Ancient Chinese oddities were
As myriad as its people.
One of these were bound feet.
A Chinese gentleman judged his woman
By the feet in those days.
Her face mattered but more were her
Feet which had to be as small
As three-inches, a society gauge for
Her breeding and status.
Confucius needs to take part of the
Blame for saying women are born to
Serve their men and no other
Which spawned the bound feet tradition.
Years of pains, tears and sleepless
Nights went into making these
Chinese women walk in little gaits as
Required of a lady, a sign that she was
Not a product of household chores.
Big feet equalled slavery and low births.
An ego trip, it was, for the adherents.
poem by John Tiong Chunghoo
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Eliasamy
7 inches long,
But the minor came for it;
9 inches long,
And the major was satisfied by it;
But i am Eliasamy in the clouds of your love.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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The Happiest Days Of Our Lives
When we grew up and went to school
There were certain teachers who would
Hurt the children any way they could
By pouring their derision
Upon anything we did
And exposing every weakness
However carefully hidden by the kids
But in the town it was well known
When they got home at night, their fat and
Psycopathic wives would thrash them
Within inches of their lives
song performed by by Pink Floyd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Happiest Days Of Our Lives
Well, when we grew up and went to school,
There were certain teachers,
Who would hurt the children in any way they could,
By pouring their derision,
Upon anything we did,
Exposing every weakness,
However carefully hidden by the kids.
But in (but in) the town it was well known,
When they got home at night,
Their fat and psychopathic wives would thrash them,
Within inches of their lives.
song performed by by Pink Floyd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Work of Artifice
The bonsai tree
in the attractive pot
could have grown eighty feet tall
on the side of a mountain
till split by lightning.
But a gardener
carefully pruned it.
It is nine inches high.
Every day as he
whittles back the branches
the gardener croons,
It is your nature
to be small and cozy,
domestic and weak;
how lucky, little tree,
to have a pot to grow in.
With living creatures
one must begin very early
to dwarf their growth:
the bound feet,
the crippled brain,
the hair in curlers,
the hands you
love to touch.
poem by Marge Piercy
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Inches Away
You came out of a dream,
and stood there before me,
inches away from the tips of my fingers. I
wanted to hold you,
but you were so near yet so far.
The impossible dream
that could never be.
The hurt in your eyes,
so evident to see.
Maybe one day
when the hurt goes away,
there maybe a chance.
We just have to wait and see,
and then you may not be
inches away from my fingertips.
poem by David Harris
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Interestingly, koi, when put in a fish bowl, will only grow up to three inches. When this same fish is placed in a large tank, it will grow to about nine inches long.
quote by Vince Poscente
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Eli
He is 9 feet and 9 inches tall! !
And, he is standing beside the short man called Eli;
But, from Egypt i have called my son,
Because, i saw him with her mother watching!
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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The first time I shot the hook, I was in fourth grade, and I was about five feet eight inches tall. I put the ball up and felt totally at ease with the shot. I was completely confident it would go in and I've been shooting it ever since.
quote by Kareem Abdul-Jabar
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hat And Feet
Hat And Feet
Fountains Of Wayne
I'm just a hat and feet
That's all that's left of me
A spot on the sidewalk
A mark on the street
I'm just a hat and feet
I'm just a hat and feet
You dropped a bomb on me
I didn't even see
Like a falling piano
From out of the window
Now I'm just a hat and feet
I'm just a hat and feet
I'm just a sitting duck
That ran out of luck
I'm the unhappy guy
That didn't look up high
I started running when I saw it coming
It got faster and louder til I took a powder
Now
I'm just a hat and feet
That's what 's become of me
Flat on the sidewalk
Stuck in the street
I'm just a hat and feet
I'm just a hat and feet
song performed by by Fountains Of Wayne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hat & Feet
Im just a hat and feet
Thats all thats left of me
A spot on the sidewalk
A mark on the street
Im just a hat and feet
Im just a hat and feet
You dropped a bomb on me
I didnt even see
Like a falling piano
From out of a window
Now Im just a hat and feet
Im just a hat and feet
Im just a sitting duck
That ran out of luck
Im the unhappy guy
That didnt look up high
I started running when I saw it coming
It got faster and louder til I took a powder
Now
Im just a hat and feet
Thats what become of me
Flat on the sidewalk
Stuck to the street
Im just a hat and feet
Im just a hat and feet
song performed by by Fountains Of Wayne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Skatin On Thin Ice
(kinky friedman)
They say that even jesus hates a loser
And when you die you go to hockey hell
And when your soul gets sent down,
Therell be the devil skatin round
And an interview with howard cosell.
Well, some call him a jet-set gladiator,
Some say hes a soldier in a bloody silver war.
But hes one hell of a warrior
Hes got a good lawyer
And every time he crosses that line you can hear that garden roar.
And he keeps on skatin on thin ice
Just six inches from paradise
Livin on the ice, lovin on the run.
He keeps on skatin on thin ice
Just six inches from paradise,
Written in the stars, meltin in the sun.
Well, he scored again last night out in vancouver,
You might say that it was on a power play.
He come in close, he shut the light,
Before his teeth came out that night,
In the morning it was hell to break away.
Through northern lights and southern nights theres someone
Who warms your heart as you shiver from the cold.
But every gypsy, every lover, every dreamer must discover
What you win out on the ice, youre gonna lose out out on the road.
And he keeps on skatin on thin ice
Just six inches from paradise
Livin on the ice, lovin on the run.
He keeps skatin on thin ice
Just six inches from paradise
Written in the stars, boy, meltin in the sun.
Written in the stars, boy, meltin in the sun.
song performed by by Kinky Friedman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Pointy Toes
Pointy toes,
Elegance shows.
A dancer's feet,
Worn and Weary,
A ballerina's feat,
Makes it look easy.
We abuse our feet,
Scrapped till it bites,
We abuse our feet,
Tie knots too tight,
We abuse our feet,
Stand till sore,
We abuse our feet,
Curl like claw.
High heels, tall.
We abuse our feet,
Bound feet small.
Abuse our feet most than rest of body?
Take care, your feet, Everybody.
Methuselah
Methuselah was 9 hundred and 69 years old and,
Goliath was about 9 feet and 9 inches tall!
But, David killed Goliath.
Of the tribal mark on your face,
Of the power of a language to save you at times;
But i am being moved with a fervent zeal towards your love.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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