When the war was over and the guys were back to shaving every day, the editor thought the Beetle Bailey strips were hurting their disciplinary efforts to get the guys back to routine.
quote by Mort Walker
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Lies About Tall Guys
Just seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys seem to get executive jobs
Shorter guys work mostly as clerks
Taller guys never seem to be slobs
Shorter guys always seem to be jerks
Taller guys seem to get all of the action
Shorter guys seem to be quite invisible
Taller guys always seem to deserve satisfaction
Shorter guys are lonely and miserable
Just seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys just seem born to play sports
Shorter guys kinda seem to like tennis
Taller guys certainly look better in shorts
Shorter guys look like Dennis the Menace
Taller guys are usually at the top of their class
Shorter guys seem to fail quite a lot
Taller guys always seem to kick ass
Shorter guys want to, but simply cannot
sure seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys get better grades and such
Shorter guys seem to barely scrape by
Taller guys seem to do better, pretty much
Shorter guys always wonder why
Taller guys seem to have eyes like a hawk
Shorter guys seem to wear glasses a lot
Taller guys cover more ground when they walk
Shorter guys, to keep up, have to trot
Sure seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys and their friends look like N.B.A players
Shorter guys look more like cheerleaders
Taller guys seem to look like dragon slayers
Shorter guys look a lot more like bleeders
Taller guys seem to have more gear to protect
Shorter guys wear more protective gear
Taller guys, more confidence seem to project
Shorter guys have less confidence, more fear
Really seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys appeal to the female gender
Shorter guys always seem to choke
Taller guys carry a lot more legal tender
Shorter guys always seem to be broke
Taller guys seem to drive high dollar cars
Shorter guys drive toyotas
Taller guys seem to reach for the stars
Shorter guys reach for diet sodas
Taller guys are obnoxious, let’s neuter them all
Shorter guys are great people, always a delight
Taller guys are an abomination against mother nature’s law
If you think I’m a short guy….well, you’re right!
Really seems like the way it should be
poem by David Whalen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Five Guys Named Moe
I gotta tell you a story from way back
Truck on down and dig me jack
Theres big moe, little moe, four-eyed moe, no moe,
Look at brother, look at brother, look at brother eat moe
Moe, moe, moe, moe, moe, moe, moe
Whos the greatest band around
Makes the cats jump up and down
Whos the talk of rhythm town
Five guys named moe
When they start to beat it out
Everybody jump and shout
Tell me who do the critics rave about
Five guys named moe
They came out of nowhere
But that dont mean a thing
They rate high and youll know why
When you hear them sing
High brow, low brow, all agree
Theyre the best in harmony
Im telling you folks you just got to see
Five guys named moe
Theres big moe...
Little moe...
One guy... big moe
Two guys... little big moe
Three guys... four-eyed moe
Four guys... no moe
Five guys... eat moe
Five little guys named moe
song performed by by Joe Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dead Guy Stickers
In the USA,
They want to put dead guy pictures on cigarette packs.
With that brilliant logic in mind, I say put dead guy stickers on:
car windshields(dead guys in wrecks)
pistol and rifle handles (dead guys shot)
marriage licenses (dead spouses)
hamburger and hot dog wrappers (dead fat guys)
pies, cakes (more dead fat guys)
bathroom doors (thousands of dead guys in bathrooms every year)
bicycles (road kill dead guys)
fire places (burnt dead guys)
swimming pools (drown dead guys)
every electrical outlet (fried dead guys)
air plane tickets (dead passenger guys)
the beach (shark bit dead guys)
cities (shot dead guys)
air (blue dead guys)
fish (poisoned dead guys)
motorcycles (more road kill dead guys)
scarfs (strangled dead guys)
football helmets (brain dead guys)
hot tubs (more drowned dead guys)
and so on.
Just about everything can kill you, such as:
Mothers (dead baby guys plus dead fathers)
Fathers (dead baby guys plus dead mothers)
Police(multiple dead guys and chicks)
Drugs (multiple dead guys and chicks)
and so on.
Once everything has a dead guy sticker on it,
You've been warned and the world will be safer, right?
It shows we care, right?
poem by Richard Jarboe
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Nice Guys Don't Deserve To Be Put To The Test
do i really judge a guy,
before i give him a chance,
is that why it so hard,
for a guy to stick around,
i push him away,
before he has the chance to,
change my opinion about him,
yeah i admit,
i don't love easy,
i was hurt before,
i even started to date,
most guys can't understand,
they can't understand my pain,
my struggles of even letting them,
get close to me,
in my mind,
all guys want is sex,
there are very few guys,
who will hold back enough,
to let me know that,
that is not all they are after,
i put guys through tests,
and when they are done,
some see that i am not worth it,
it's my way of keeping my distance,
at times it gets lonely,
but i would rather be lonely,
than broken into a million pieces,
i can't handle anymore pain,
what i'm dealing with,
will make anybody go crazy,
but i'm starting to see,
it not right too,
what i put guys through,
just to prove they worth it,
i'm doing the samething,
as the guys who want me for sex,
what makes me any different?
ppl deserve to be treated right.
poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Girls Cant Do What The Guys Do
(reid / clarke)
Ooh, ooh
Guys are gonna wanna go out and play sometime
But girls you must not let it get you down
Just take this advice I give you
Just like a mother
You try to match a guys independence
You end up in the gutter
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
No, oh no
And, listen girls when you give your heart away
You can easily be hurt
And the least little wrong he does
Always seems like dirt
So take this advice I give you
Just like a mother
You try to match a guys independence
You end up in the gutter
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
No, oh, no, mmm
When you put your faith in one guy
(sometimes hell make you happy)
(sometimes hell make you cry)
Dont lose your self-respect
Tryin to gain revenge
cause no matter how you do it
You lose out in the end
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
song performed by by Dusty Springfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Psycho
No matter wherever I go
Some guys think I am a psycho!
No matter whatever I do
Some guys think I never need you!
No matter whenever I dream
Some guys think I am without team!
No matter whichever I choose
Some guys think I will just lose!
No matter how much I love
Some guys think I tell the bluff!
poem by Asif Andalib
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Know What Boys Like
Boys, boys
He you wanna know something?
Boys, boys
Boys like girls
I know what boys like
I know what guys want
I know what boys like
I've got what boys want
Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh
I know what boys like
I know what guys want
I seem them looking (looking)
I make them want me
I like to tease them
And they want to touch me
I never let them
I know what boys like
I know what guys want
I know what boys like
Boys like, boys like me
I got my cat moves
That so upsets them
Zippers and buttons
Fun to frustrate them
They get so angry
Like pouty children
Denied their candy
I laugh right at them
I know what boys like
I know what guys want
I know what boys like
I've got what boys want
Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh
I know what boys like
I got what boys want
I know what boys like
Boys like, boys like, boys like me
I think you're special
I might let you
You're so much different
I might let you
There's no one like you
I might let you
Or would you like that?
I might let you
Sucker!
Boys, b-b-boys
Boys, b-b-b-boys
G-g-g-g-got what boys want
G-g-g-got
I know what boys like
I know what guys want
I know what boys like
I've got what boys want
Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh
I know what boys like
I got what boys want
I know what boys like
Boys like, boys like, boys like me
I know what boys like
I got what boys want
I know what boys like
Boys like, boys like, boys like me
Yeah, I know what boys like
Come on girls, you know what they like
It ain't no secret
I know what boys like
I know what guys want
I know what boys like
I've got what boys want
Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh
song performed by by Vitamin C
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A boxing match is like a cowboy movie. There's got to be good guys and there's got to be bad guys. And that's what people pay for - to see the bad guys get beat.
quote by Sonny Liston
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks
If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter
My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be
Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
Scoring with a super model would be easy
Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonomous with 'super dumb'
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes
The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean
See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like this
And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway
And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
And I don't shave my heiny
Don't shave my heiny
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
song performed by by Bloodhound Gang from One Fierce Beer Coaster
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fall Out
Words and music by Stewart Copeland
I never thought of leading
I've got my own machine
And I've paid my dues all along
All set for breaking
When I missed those other people
'Cause I knew that I was really alone
Fall out
Fall out with all the leaders and guys
Fall out
Fall out with all the leaders and guys
I saw my education
It was my indocrination
Just to be another parking machine
All my sense was breaking
When I missed those other people
'Cause I knew that I was not very clean
Fall out
Fall out with all the leaders and guys
Fall out
Fall out with all the leaders and guys
Fall out
Fall out with all the leaders and guys
Fall out
Fall out with all the leaders and guys
Fall out
song performed by by Police
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm all for guys being butch and guys being men. I identify with that and appreciate that. But if I'm going to stab my gay brother in the back who isn't butch and who maybe acts a little bit more effeminate, what good is that?
quote by Kyan Douglas
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Oh, yeah. I know Dizzy. For years he's been my buddy way, way, way back. Dizzy is one of the most astute guys and one of the most learned guys in the world and knows exactly what he's doing musically.
quote by Billy Eckstine
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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But these guys learn so fast now, they sort of soak up the information, they're fearless. Those are the guys who learn from their mistakes and come back strong the next time.
quote by John McEnroe
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tomboy In Me
Don't want get my hair did and my nails neither I just rather were my hair braid straight to the back It's just as simply as that, I want were makeup cause it just gifts the boys a reason to stare, And want were tight close so they don't look painted on, So don't look into my eyes cause if you do you will see just one of the guys, I'm not all Gilly girl like I should be I like to think that I m just one of the guys, When I'm look into a mirror I See a tomboy look in back at me
By: Mystery Pain
9/20/09
2: 45pm
poem by Mystery Pain
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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As you know, I'm androgynous. I can wear a jacket that most guys wouldn't put on. But you make it in guys' sizes, and suddenly they're wearing them. I think styles should get back to getting people to wear things that look so good that they don't care.
quote by Steven Tyler
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Relizing
When i first thought
You always have to like someone
I was destressed and stupid
'Cause you really dont need to like anyone
I liked 4 guys at once
Then i relized one thing
Guys are unimportant
The are a stupid waste of time
They can make me happy
They can buy me stuff
But right now
The are not useful
right now i'll stick to sports
now i'll stick to education
i'll stick to my family
Guys are not in my vocab right now
poem by Make A Wish
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Some Guys Have All The Luck
Some guys have all the luck
Some guys have all the fun
Some guys have all the luck all the luck
What you gonna do when your luck begins to run
Such a lucky dog it's good luck - push it
I get turned on by everything you do to me
Don't say you shouldn't do that
Push your hard luck hard push it
Oh, to take a kiss from lady luck tonight
Oh yeah I want to so much
Ooh the way it feels when you find out
there's a pearl in it
Girl the way it feels when you get it
Some guys have all the luck
Some guys get all the fun
I get to hear you talk, see you walk
Ooh take me in your arms and let your luck
begin to run
I touch you - alright
I thought my luck had held until you fingered me
We make a right impression when you hold me tight
Wait for a break, my lucky charm
Things are looking up alright - alright
Oh - to taste the lips of lady luck tonight
Oh yeah - I want to - so much
Ooh the it it feels when you find out
there's a pearl in it
Girl the way you squeal when you get it
Some guys have all the luck
Some guys get all the breaks
I get to roll my dice - ain't it nice
Ooh take me in your kitchen and we'll play
for higher stakes
song performed by by Robert Palmer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm not pretty. The truth is I didn't think I could be a model at all. I was looking at some of the guys on the walls at Irene Marie and I thought to myself 'Jesus Christ. I can't do this. I don't look anything like these guys'.
quote by Channing Tatum
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It Don't Scare Me None
Written by: Larry Crane
Performed by: John Mellencamp
Well, it don't scare me none,
I've been there before,
Sideswiped an old Oak tree
In a rusted-out old Ford.
Shot at guys who were shootin' back
In the Second World War,
And it don't scare me none
I've been there before.
Well I fell in love with a woman
Who did not love me back,
Bare-handled rattle snakes
And threw 'em in a sack,
Honkey tonked with strangers
Who were eating broken glass,
Well, it don't scare me none
'Cause I'll be comin' back.
I take from my loved ones
To gamble on my friends,
I take the long way home
And the fun never ends,
Woke up blurry-eyed
Wonderin' where I've been,
I've wrestled with my conscience,
But my conscience never wins.
No you don't scare me none,
I've been there before
Sideswiped an old Oak tree
In a rusted-out old Ford.
Shot at guys who were shooting back
In the Second World War,
And it don't scare me none
I've been there before.
Well, the preacher man, he told me
I'd better change my ways,
Put a lid on the boilin' pot
Or there'd be Hell to pay,
Hell ain't no place
For a guy to jump the track,
But it don't scare me none
'Cause man, I'm coming back.
Well it don't scare me none,
I've been there before,
Sideswiped an old Oak tree
In a rusted-out old Ford.
Shot at guys who were shooting back
In the Second World War,
And it don't scare me none,
'Cause I've been there before.
song performed by by John Mellencamp
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Pole Dancer
Sweat drips as she swing around the pole
her heart racing
She smiles at the guys as she pulls herself around
her eyes shining
She looks into the croud as she dances on the stage
her mind steady
She watches the guys who look intersted as she strips
her lust showing through her eyes
She spins around the pole again as she grinds with her body
her fingers wrapped tight around the pole
She lets her hair fall over her face and body as she stops
her body ready
She stands in a pose as the guys flood to her
her chest pullsing
Her eyes watch them as her mouth pulls into a wanting grin
her mid longing for their bodies
Her eyes searc through them as she sees him
as she walks away with him into the rooms and the music continues
poem by Bethany Maxwell
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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