One of my great influences was Don Knotts as Barney Fife.
quote by Martin Short
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Mainly, I thought of Barney as a kid. You can always look into the faces of kids and see what they're thinking, if they're happy or sad. That's what I tried to do with Barney.
quote by Don Knotts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.
quote by Jeff Foxworthy
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I put together the influences of my life in as clear a way as I possibly can, in the same way that Beethoven or Schoenberg or Bach put their influences together.
This record has a lot of influences that I'd love to cover, like Marvin Gaye and Earth, Wind and Fire. Maybe I'll do some covers of my major influences during my live show.
quote by Jon Secada
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Snifter
After working hard all day
In the office,
How much worse on homeward way
My old cough is!
Barney's Bar is gaily lit,
Let me stop there;
Just to buck me up a bit
Have a drop there.
As I stand beside the screen
Hesitating,
I have thought of how Noreen
Will be waiting;
Baby Patsy in her lap
Gay and laughing,
While at Barney's foaming tap
I am quaffing.
Barney's Bar is mighty bright,
Looks so cheery.
Wonder what I'll drink tonight?
Gee! I'm weary.
Will I have Scotch or Rye?
Bourbon maybe . . .
Then I see with mental eye
Wife and baby.
So I say 'tis malted milk
I'll be skoffin';
Sooth my throttle sleek as silk,
Ease my coughin' . . .
Say, I love them two to death,
Sure they miss me:
With no whisky on my breath
How they'll kiss me!
poem by Robert William Service
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I don't think just funny is enough on Broadway.
quote by Don Knotts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Let’s Annoy Dad
I have a plan, I have a plan
I said as I washed my paw
Dad will come home and we'll all want some grub
He'll just walk by our dishes
And say, 'No yet.'
If we do it, right
He'll give us some grub
Maybe even some crunchies as well
The two boys raised their heads
'How’s all this going to happen? ' Arthur asked.
'If we annoy dad, I'm sure he'll give in.'
I replied with a grin.
'How do you suppose we annoy him? ' Arthur asked again.
'First I take his pencil and get him out of his chair
And he'll follow me.
We'll plant a toy mouse
So he can tred on. Barney can cry
Say look at my wagger
Dad being soft will give him a cuddle.
He will then give him some treats.
Knowing Dad, he will give us all treats.
Nipping away, I planted the mouse.
Barney curled up and lay to one side.
I pinched Dad’s pencil and ran.
Dad stepped on the mouse and stopped.
Barney cried on queue.
Dad reached down, picked him up,
gave him a cuddle.
Barney sang as he tickled him under his chin.
He carried him to the bed and put him down.
“There you go Barney, ” and stroked him again.
I dropped the pencil and fled down the stairs.
Dad picked up his pencil, ignoring me,
went back to his writing his poetry.
The plan didn't work the way I expected.
No treats, no crunchies, no nothing.
The boys looked at me as I entered the room.
“So much for your plan.” Barney said.
“Watch how mine goes and learn.”
Jumping off the bed, he went in Dad’s room.
He sat beside Dad, raised a shredder to his knee.
Dad moved him away gently time and again.
Finally Dad gave in, came down stairs.
He picked up our dished one, two and three.
Went to the cupboard where crunchies are kept.
Brought out a tin and put mush in each dish
Food at last.
I must remember how Barney did it.
Might just work for me.
Instead of pinching his pencils, I might sit on Dad's knee.
If Barney can show a shredder and get meal.
Maybe I can annoy Dad that way too.
I will wait until tomorrow. Then try the ploy.
poem by David Harris
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Nora, the Maid of Killarney
Down by the beautiful Lakes of Killarney,
Off times I have met my own dear Barney,
In the sweet summer time of the year,
In the silvery moonlight so clear,
I've rambled with my sweetheart Barney,
Along the green banks of the Lakes of Killarney.
The Lakes of Killarney are most lovely to be seen
In the summer season when nature's face is green,
Especially in the beautiful silvery moonlight,
When its waters do shine like silver bright;
Such was the time when me and my Barney
Went to walk by the purty Lakes of Killarney.
My Barney was beautiful, gallant, and gay,
But, alas, he has left me and gone far away,
To that foreign country called Amerikay;
But when he returns we will get married without delay,
And again we will roam by the Lakes of Killarney,
Me and my sweetheart, charming Barney.
And until he returns I will feel rather sad,
For while walking with Barney I always felt glad;
May God send him home again safe to me,
And he will fill my sad heart with glee,
While we walk by the Lakes of Killarney.
I dreamt one night I was walking with Barney,
Down by the beautiful Lakes of Killarney,
And he said, "Nora, dear Nora, don't fret for me,
For I will soon come home to thee;
And I will build a nice cabin near the Lakes of Killarney,
And Nora will live happy with her own dear Barney."
But, alas, I awoke from my beautiful dream,
For, och, if was a most lovely scene;
But I hope it will happen some unexpected day,
When Barney comes home from Amerikay;
Then Barney will relate his adventures to me,
As we walk by the silvery Lakes of Killarney.
We will ramble among its green trees and green bushes,
And hear the sweet songs of the blackbirds and thrushes,
And gaze on its lovely banks so green,
And its waters glittering like crystal in the moonlight's sheen;
Och! how I long to be walking with Barney,
Along the green banks of the Lakes of Killarney.
Of all the spots in Ireland, Killarney for me,
For 'twas there I first met my dear Barney:
He was singing, I remember, right merrily;
And his singing filled my heart with glee,
And he said, "Nora, dear Nora, will you walk with me,
For you are the prettiest girl I ever did see."
"Now, Barney," I said, "you are just mocking me,
When you say no other girl like me you can see";
Then he said, "Nora, you are the only girl I do love,
And this I do swear by the saints above,
I will marry you, dear Nora, without delay,
When I come home from Amerikay."
But when Barney landed in Amerikay,
He courted another girl without dismay,
And he married her in the month of May,
And when I heard it I fainted away;
So maidens beware of such men as Barney,
Or else they will deceive ye with their flattering blarney.
poem by William Topaz McGonagall
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I think when you're blessed with great influences, you need to spread it.
quote by Edward Moore
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Above all, I would not expect a wise race, at great expense, to set loose an army of self-replicating robots.
quote by Barney Oliver
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Well, they put me in a booth and then did some nice things to the speaker to make it come out sounding ok.
quote by Don Knotts
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My idol was Jack Benny and he was the master of subtlety and timing.
quote by Don Knotts
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Don Knotts was a really big influence, especially on the Steve Allen show. I mean, look at the guy, his entire life is in his face.
quote by Tim Conway
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My influences were Peter Sellers and the great British character actors.
quote by Tracey Ullman
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I think there are influences that you open the door to, and influences that come under the door.
quote by Harrison Birtwistle
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I felt like a loser. I was unhappy as a child most of the time. We were terribly poor and I hated my size.
quote by Don Knotts
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The Toy Band
A Song of the Great Retreat
Dreary lay the long road, dreary lay the town,
Lights out and never a glint o' moon:
Weary lay the stragglers, half a thousand down,
Sad sighed the weary big Dragoon.
"Oh! if I'd a drum here to make them take the road again,
Oh! if I'd a fife to wheedle, Come, boys, come!
You that mean to fight it out, wake and take your load again,
Fall in! Fall in! Follow the fife and drum!
"Hey, but here's a toy shop, here's a drum for me,
Penny whistles too to play the tune!
Half a thousand dead men soon shall hear and see
We're a band!" said the weary big Dragoon.
Rubadub! Rubadub! Wake and take the road again,
Wheedle-deedle-deedle-dee, Come, boys, come!
You that mean to fight it out, wake and take your load again,
Fall in! Fall in! Follow the fife and drum!"
Cheerly goes the dark road, cheerly goes the night,
Cheerly goes the blood to keep the beat;
Half a thousand dead men marching on to fight
With a little penny drum to lift their feet.
Rubadub! Rubadub! Wake, and take the raod again,
Wheedle-deedle-deedle-dee, Come, boys, come!
You that mean to fight it out, wake and take your load again,
Fall in! Fall in! Follow the fife and drum!
As long as there's an Englishman to ask a tale of me,
As long as I can tell the tale aright,
We'll not forget the penny whistle's wheedle-deedle-dee
And the big Dragoon a-beating down the night,
Rubadub! Rubadub! Wake and take the road again,
Wheedle-deedle-deedle-dee, Come, boys, come!
You that mean to fight it out, wake and take your load again,
Fall in! Fall in! Follow the fife, and drum!
poem by Sir Henry Newbolt
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In this view, the role of the great majority of Americans is simply to buy the products produced, work happily for their wages, and leave all of the significant economic decisions to the capitalists.
quote by Barney Frank
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Jackass: The Movie is great. I think it's in the tradition of physical comedy, which I'm really interested in. Its relationship to gravity, and how gravity acts on the body.
quote by Matthew Barney
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I found college useful for a lot of other reasons. It exposed me to a great many influences I wouldn't otherwise have encountered, and gave me a lot of time with some very intelligent people whose thoughts are still with me.
quote by Walter Jon Williams
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