I sold my house to Jerry Seinfeld.
quote by Billy Joel
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Related quotes
Men want the same thing from women and their underwear: support, comfort, and freedom.
Jerry Seinfeld in Seinfeld
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The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!
quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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There is no such thing as "fun for the whole family."
quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'
quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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High Price
Jerry Jerry your lifestyles hairy
how do your dope plants grow?
In cramped ceiling, under a naked bulb, my lady,
from little seeds all in a row.
Jerry Jerry your rather smelly
how are your dope plants sold?
By bountiful bagful, or in single rolls, to tally
Waitangi gold, is a trip, for joint discerning bold.
Jerry Jerry do you live in fear
do you feel hunted, with pouncing, policemen near?
The boys in blue, dance a merry, merry tune.
What’s a bust, may come yearly, like June?
Jerry Jerry one day all grow old
will you feel regret, for lives, you’ve sold?
I’ve been living high, flying in narcotic, sky seat.
Life’s been so very sweet, living with prepaid, heat.
Jerry Jerry a future comes, your days done,
there’s no place for you, under our sun?
There’s always a place, man in selective, supplying know.
There’re other trips, after poppy seeds, to sow.
Jerry Jerry it’s time now, you must go
tell of other pastures, you now will hoe?
Man’s full of lust, greed, ever fertile seed,
a high paying price, is charge for need.
No matter where man chance may roam.
A place is found, I’m right at home.
poem by Terence George Craddock
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The whole object of comedy is to be yourself and the closer you get to that, the funnier you will be.
quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.
quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.
quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.
quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.
quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.
quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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Men want the same thing from women that they want from their underwear... a little support, comfort, and freedom.
quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.
quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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I'll work with Jerry Seinfeld any day of the week. Get a nice little paycheck there, but you do it for free. It's just good to be associated with that man. He's a great guy.
quote by Patrick Warburton
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Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
quote by Jerry Seinfeld
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I wouldn't call myself a standup in the presence of Jerry Seinfeld or Chris Rock, but I do my share of it and it has been and remains part of my activity and I like it.
quote by Alan Thicke
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