I'm a great housekeeper. I get divorced. I keep the house.
quote by Zsa Zsa Gabor
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
quote by Zsa Zsa Gabor
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Why Did She Cry?
she is having
high fever and
yet you ordered
her to wipe the dust
on the glass walls
of the house
how can the
housekeeper tell you
about this?
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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It Happens in the B.R. Families
'Twas on the shores that round our coast
From Deal to Newport lie
That I roused from sleep in a huddled heap
An elderly wealthy guy.
His hair was graying, his hair was long,
And graying and long was he;
And I heard this grouch on the shore avouch,
In a singular jazzless key:
"Oh, I am a cook and a waitress trim
And a maid of the second floor,
And a strong chauffeur and a housekeeper,
And the man who tends the door!"
And he shook his fists and he tore his hair,
And he started to frisk and play,
Till I couldn't help thinking the man had been drinking,
So I said (in the Gilbert way):
"Oh, elderly man, I don't know much
Of the ways of societee,
But I'll eat my friend if I comprehend
However you can be
"At once a cook and a waitress trim
And the maid of the second floor,
And a strong chauffeur and a housekeeper,
And the man who tends the door."
Then he smooths his hair with a nervous air,
And a gulp in his throat he swallows,
And that elderly guy he then lets fly
Substantially as follows:
"We had a house down Newport way,
And we led a simple life;
There was only I," said the elderly guy,
And my daughter and my wife.
"And of course the cook and a waitress trim
And the maid of the second floor,
And a strong chauffeur and a housekeeper,
And the man who tends the door."
"One day the cook she up and left,
She up and left us flat.
She was getting a hundred and ten a mon-
Th, but she couldn't work for that.
"And the waitress trim was her bosom friend,
And she wouldn't stay no more;
And our strong chauffeur eloped with her
Who was the maid of the second floor.
"And we couldn't get no other help,
So I had to cook and wait.
It was quite absurd," wept the elderly bird.
"I deserve a better fate.
"And I drove the car and I made the beds
Till the housekeeper up and quit;
And the man at the door found that a bore,
Which is why I am, to wit:
"At once a cook and a waitress trim
And the maid of the second floor,
And a strong chauffeur and a housekeeper,
And the man who tends the door."
poem by Franklin P. Adams
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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This Eternal Marriage
This eternal marriage
It is one of force, of no choice
One of irresistible destiny
How can we get divorced forever?
This eternal marriage
One gets into long before birth
No escape route from it, no alternative
How can we get divorced forever?
This eternal marriage
Can never be denied, no fugitives
Unborn, born, young, old, man, woman
There is no selection when time comes
How can we get divorced forever?
This eternal marriage
The undeniable beckon of the husband
During the day, the night, at any time
Medical technologies notwithstanding
How can we get divorced forever?
This eternal marriage
It is indeed the mother of all sufferings
The river of tears never run dry
The broken hearts never get mended
The gaps of those called are never refilled
How can we get divorced from this cruel marriage?
Dedication: To Julia Tivane Holm, friend and colleague
Nampula, Mozambique
3rd June,2000
poem by Isaac Maliya
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When I first came to London, shortly after the end of the war, I found myself after a few days in a boarding-house, called a private hotel, in Kensington High Street area. The boarding-house was owned by Mr. Shylock. He didn't live there, but the attic was reserved for him; and Lieni, the Maltese housekeeper, told me he occasionally spent a night there with a young girl. 'These English girls!' Lieni said.
V.S. Naipaul in The Mimic Men (1967)
Submitted by Dan Costinaş
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When a divorced man marries a divorced woman, there are four people in that marital bed.
Maybe it's because my mother divorced and my grandmother divorced, so maybe I'm frightened deep down. But then I also feel there is no real need. Why do I need to get married? To reassure me? No I don't need reassurance.
quote by Juliette Binoche
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I wish we'd never got divorced. He and I both wish we'd never got divorced, but we did. I wish I could go back and be the bride again, but I can't.
quote by Sarah Ferguson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If She were my Daughter
I’m a real estate man
In a suburban wasteland
And I’ve opened many doors in my time.
A lifetime of regrets,
But I cannot forget
What she said to me over the line.
“ If I was your daughter, and getting divorced”
What would you tell me to do?
“With two children at home
Abandoned, alone”
Do I sell out or stay? ”
“What to do? ”
Her husband had left her
Pregnant, adrift.
with their five year old son at her side.
Post partum, alone
She’s on the phone
What should I tell her to do.?
The house had a mortgage
Perhaps “under water”
But the debt service-
that she could do.
She had a good job
And in spite of that slob
She was one girl who could see it through.
“ If I was your daughter, and getting divorced”
What would you tell me to do?
“With two children at home
Abandoned, alone”
Do I sell out or stay? ”
“What to do? ”
I told her to stay, there was no other way
After taxes, its cheaper than rent
She would have some hard times
And be house poor besides-
But the schools here are better for them.
Back in the depression,
When things were the worst,
Couples fought hard to stay true..
But it seems nowadays
Nearly one in two strays
And everything’s falling apart.
..
poem by John F. McCullagh
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Not All Losses Are Bad
Loss, most of the time bad. On occasion, great!
SOME TIME A LOSS CAN BE GOOD!
Can loss sometime be happy. You bet! Ask some
divorced couples.
The other guy had a loss and I won!
My ex had a loss, of most of our assets. Yes,
you guessed it, I got 'em!
Insurance companies, now there's some, that
many take great delight,
when they suffer a loss.
When the tax man does an audit, if they have
a loss, we have a win! (best kind of loss)
The person who brings suite against you,
suffers a loss. (Ain't that sweet?)
A hostile mother-in-law, suffers a loss,
when her daughter gets divorced.
When one experiences a weight loss.
Now that's something that would make
millions of people happy!
When the owner of your building, is deemed
to be, 'rent controlled, ' it brings a loss
to the greedy titleholder. (break out the champagne)
When the neighbor you hadn't spoken to for years,
has a loss, of the keys, to her car.
When the kid, who keeps running over your lawn,
with his bike, has a loss, of the two wheel monster.
When you child, who you love, but drives you nuts
with their loud music, has a broken stereo,
and a loss of music. (They're unhappy. You're ecstatic.)
When one has a loss of sleep, because their spouse
was amorous all night. (Ahhhh, the good old days.)
When your in-laws, prepare to come to your house,
for the first time, and have a loss of directions.
When your spouse, who cremates every barbecue
they ever handled, has a loss of the coals.
(Actually you hid them.)
When the know-it-all comes to your home, and
can't say a word, because they had a loss of
their dentures.
Remember...If you have a loss, sometime,
the loss is good!
l Losses Are Sometime Good...
Loss, most of the time bad. On occasion, great!
SOME TIME A LOSS CAN BE GOOD!
Can loss sometime be happy. You bet! Ask some
divorced couples.
The other guy had a loss and I won!
My ex had a loss, of most of our assets. Yes,
you guessed it, I got 'em!
Insurance companies, now there's some, that
many take great delight,
when they suffer a loss.
When the tax man does an audit, if they have
a loss, we have a win! (best kind of loss)
The person who brings suite against you,
suffers a loss. (Ain't that sweet?)
A hostile mother-in-law, suffers a loss,
when her daughter gets divorced.
When one experiences a weight loss.
Now that's something that would make
millions of people happy!
When the owner of your building, is deemed
to be, 'rent controlled, ' it brings a loss
to the greedy titleholder. (break out the champagne)
When the neighbor you hadn't spoken to for years,
has a loss, of the keys, to her car.
When the kid, who keeps running over your lawn,
with his bike, has a loss, of the two wheel monster.
When you child, who you love, but drives you nuts
with their loud music, has a broken stereo,
and a loss of music. (They're unhappy. You're ecstatic.)
When one has a loss of sleep, because their spouse
was amorous all night. (Ahhhh, the good old days.)
When your in-laws, prepare to come to your house,
for the first time, and have a loss of directions.
When your spouse, who cremates every barbecue
they ever handled, has a loss of the coals.
(Actually you hid them.)
When the know-it-all comes to your home, and
can't say a word, because they had a loss of
their dentures.
Remember...If you have a loss, sometime,
the loss is good!
I was married awfully young and I felt trapped. My wife had been divorced and all the time we were married we were out of the Church. It wasn't until we were divorced that we became good Catholics again.
The Wrong House
I went into a house, and it wasn't a house,
It has big steps and a great big hall;
But it hasn't got a garden,
A garden,
A garden,
It isn't like a house at all.
I went into a house, and it wasn't a house,
It has a big garden and great high wall;
But it hasn't got a may-tree,
A may-tree,
A may-tree,
It isn't like a house at all.
I went into a house, and it wasn't a house -
Slow white petals from the may-tree fall;
But it hasn't got a blackbird,
A blackbird,
A blackbird,
It isn't like a house at all.
I went into a house, and I thought it was a house,
I could hear from the may-tree the blackbird call…
But nobody listened to it,
Nobody
Liked it,
Nobody wanted it at all.
poem by Alan Alexander Milne
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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When you're the youngest and the only boy, you get spoilt but you get told you're spoilt so you don't get to enjoy it very much. I was the only man in the house because my parents divorced and my dad moved away when I was 13.
quote by Eddie Marsan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You Are Not Alone With This Belief
I want someone who can come in,
And clean my house.
Both inside and out.
Plus do a restoration,
Needed in my backyard.
'Who was it living in the house,
To allow it to become so unclean? '
Don't be so foolish.
I was.
I 'still' am.
But that is besides the point.
And has nothing to do with my complaints.
'You allowed your own home to get filthy?
Your backyard to be littered with trash?
And this was done,
While you were living there on the premise,
As an occupant?
Shouldn't you hold yourself responsible for that? '
Are you kidding?
Of course not.
If it had been recommended to you,
To hire a new housekeeper 'with' qualifications.
And a gardener your neighbor uses.
Would you pay attention,
To the goings on inside AND out?
If you had more important things on your mind to do?
'I suppose you are right.
What sense would that make,
To stay conscious and awake...
When I have been told,
I could hold someone else accountable...
And blame,
For anything wrong that goes on inside...
And outside of the place I am calling my 'home'.
Trust me...
You are not alone with this belief!
Incredible as it is.'
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Houses
1898 -- A Song of the Dominions
'Twixt my house and thy house the pathway is broad,
In thy house or my house is half the world's hoard;
By my house and thy house hangs all the world's fate,
On thy house and my house lies half the world's hate.
For my house and thy house no help shall we find
Save thy house and my house -- kin cleaving to kind;
If my house be taken, thine tumbleth anon.
If thy house be forfeit, mine followeth soon.
'Twixt my house and thy house what talk can there be
Of headship or lordship, or service or fee?
Since my house to thy house no greater can send
Than thy house to my house -- friend comforting friend;
And thy house to my house no meaner can bring
Than my house to thy house -- King counselling King.
poem by Rudyard Kipling
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Forgotten house
This great house was abandoned to decay
Forgotten unloved but here it does stay
Sun bleached wood cracking in the heat of the day
Paint simply peeled completely away
This great house a shadow of it former self
Golden stonework hint at its previous wealth
Ivy growing and spreading over the surface with stealth
Stone flaking blackened show its bad health
This house has great dark blackened windows
No inner light to give its previous known golden glow
No movement for here ice has fallen its soul has froze
In this house forgotten once golden now noone knows
Take this House of Glory,
Take this House of Glory,
Take this House of Glory,
That I may earn that Living Beauty,
In my Image,
It is all Clear,
That the Mind is with that great UNDERSTANDING,
Take this Shelter and see the House of Hopes,
From within me,
Iam not failing anymore,
Since with that Great Timing,
I take this House that I may see that Living Beauty,
There is no Regard for Wrong Doers anymore,
See that the Change is all Better than Worst.
poem by Maxpoet Beauty
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You know, my Friends, with what a brave Carouse
I made a Second Marriage in my house;
Divorced old barren Reason from my Bed,
And took the Daughter of the Vine to Spouse.
For "Is" and "Is-not" though with Rule and Line
And "Up-and-down" by Logic I define,
Of all that one should care to fathom, I
Was never deep in anything but - Wine.
Omar Khayyam in Rubaiyat
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Some people come in and really freak. There's movement everywhere, even a dancing housekeeper!
quote by Tom Bergeron
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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