I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
quote by Groucho Marx
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Related quotes
Doctor Robert
Ring my friend, i said you call doctor robert
Day or night he'll be there any time at all, doctor robert
Doctor robert, you're a new and better man,
He helps you to understand
He does everything he can, doctor robert
If you're down he'll pick you up, doctor robert
Take a drink from his special cup, doctor robert
Doctor robert, he's a man you must believe,
Helping everyone in need
No one can succeed like doctor robert
Well, well, well, you're feeling fine
Well, well, well, he'll make you ... doctor robert
My friend works for the national health, doctor robert
Don't pay money just to see yourself with doctor robert
Doctor robert, you're a new and better man,
He helps you to understand
He does everything he can, doctor robert
Well, well, well, you're feeling fine
Well, well, well, he'll make you ... doctor robert
song performed by by Beatles
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Golf Tees Lament
Golf tees on my dresser
Golf tees in my bed
Golf tees on my pillows
Where they poke me in my head
Golf tees in my closet
Falling from my shirts and pants
Golf tees along the baseboards
Just like army ants
Golf tees in the carpet
And underneath my feet
Golf tees lined up on the mantle
Oh, they look so neat
Golf tees in my couch
And in my back and thighs
When I sit and watch TV
I feel those little guys
Golf tees in the kitchen
In Jurassic coffee mugs
Sometimes when I pass them
They look like prehistoric bugs.
Golf tees in the bathtub
Like sailors on plastic ships
Golf tee in her make-up
Like little bald q-tips.
Golf tees in the attic
Golf tees in the shed
Golf tees, golf tees everywhere
I wonder where they bred?
Golf tees out the backdoor
Like Hansel-and-Gretel’s trails
Golf tees in the flowerbeds
Among the mulch and snails
Golf tees in my car
And underneath the mats
Golf tees in the backseat
Like little baseball bats
But when I am at the golf course
I ask my partner, like a louse…
“May I borrow some of your tees? ”
I left mine at the house!
poem by Larry Buddin
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My doctor asked me how many golf balls I had hit in my career. I'm lying there in bed calculating somewhere between four and five million golf balls I had hit to do that on my body.
quote by Greg Norman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Hand That Feeds
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Please, doctor, doctor, please
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Feel like an old diseace
Get your sweet ass off the floor
Doctor, doctor, doctor
I cant refuse any loose harted lady anymore
I scream your name into the crowd
You feel the flame, but yo aint proud
Mabye your attitude aint right
So all thats left for me to do is bite
The hand that feeds me
Feeds me
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Doctor, doctor, please
All things you put me through
What the hell you want me to
Do all the things that uncle john needs
I aint the dog that bites the hand that feeds me
In the middle of, with a spittle of
Et tu like birds of a feather
When another day, love another way
Push, shove, make love, play
Never never, never ever
Never ever, never ever
Na, na...
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Please do a-what you can
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Would you please give my life a hand
All the things you put me trough
What the hell you want me to
Do all the things that uncle john needs
I aint the dog that bites the hand that feeds me, yeah
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Doctor, doctor, please
(repeat)
song performed by by Aerosmith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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1985 Food Medley - 02 - Doctor
[parody of doctor! doctor! by the thompson twins]
Woah, cause hes my doctor, doctor,
And his name is bernie, bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Im feelin pretty dismal.
Doctor, doctor,
And his name is bernie, bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Wheres my pepto bismol?
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Your Heart With Your Mind and Faith Is Your Doctor!
Some say they would share this if they could.
They can not.
And wouldn't...
IF they could.
Some say they can feel yours!
They can not.
And wouldn't...
IF they could.
Some say they understand.
And if there is anything they can do,
To let them know!
Sincerety like this is difficult to dismiss.
But pain is personalized.
And not quite felt,
Like the one who is feeling it!
Some may empathize, cry and hold your hand.
Rub it.
Or give a hug to pat a back!
It's a fact of your condition.
You are there without a physician.
However,
When your pain comes...
Attaching your heart, body and mind to it?
There is no question who it belongs to!
But what more can a human being being human do?
Some say they would share this if they could.
They can not.
And wouldn't...
IF they could.
Some say they can feel yours!
They can not.
And wouldn't...
IF they could.
Some say they understand.
And if there is anything they can do,
To let them know!
Sincerety like this is difficult to dismiss.
But pain is personalized.
And not quite felt,
Like the one who is feeling it!
And when you are feeling yours...
You know it can not be felt,
Like it has you feeling it!
And somehow you know,
It is there not to be shared!
No matter who, what and how it is perceived.
Only you know 'why' pain feels like it does!
It is yours and it has been received.
And only you can create that feeling to make it heal!
You know it is there and that reality has no appeal.
Your heart with your mind and faith is your doctor!
Your heart with your mind and faith is your doctor!
Your heart with your mind and faith is your doctor!
Faith is your doctor!
Faith is your doctor!
Faith is your doctor!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Can't Stop
I Can't Stop [Controversy Music]
------------
I can't stop this feeling I got
I feel it right down to my toes
I can't stop this feeling I got
My body want you don't you know
I can't stop this feeling I got
It's running all down my leg
I can't stop this feeling I got
Why you wanna make me beg
I can't stop this feeling I got
I can't stop this feeling I got
I can't stop this feeling I got
I can't stop this feeling I got
I can't stop this feeling I got
You know I can't sleep at night
I can't stop you know I love you a lot
I never want you out of my sight
I can't stop this feeling I got
I get to shakin' all in my shoes
I can't stop this feeling I got
The doctor said there's nothing that he can do
I can't stop this feeling I got
I can't stop this feeling I got
I can't stop this feeling I got
I can't stop this feeling I got
I can't stop this feeling I got
My body wants you. I want you, want you
I can't stop this feeling I got
Baby, baby, baby. Yeah
I can't stop this feeling I got
I can't stop this feeling I got
I can't stop this feeling I got
I can't stop this feeling I got
No.
I can't stop this feeling I got
I can't stop this feeling I got
I can't stop this feeling I got
I can't stop this feeling I got
Feeling, feeling, feeling, ooh.
Huh, if that don't work
Yeah what
song performed by by Prince
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Doctor’s Day,2010
Doctor, doctor, carer of sick!
Doctor, doctor, healer on earth;
Doctor, doctor, noble is thine field;
Doctor, doctor, serve thine brethren well!
Doctor, labor all the more;
Clean and dress the chronic sore;
Let no person taint thine name;
Never forget thine great aim.
Doctor, let not wealth allure;
Doctor, lead a life all pure;
Doctor, try to always cure;
God will bless thee on earth, sure.
Dear Dr.B, K, Padmavathi M.D.,
‘Happy Doctor’s Day,2010! ’
From the Dean and staff of IRT, PMC
Copyright by Dr John Celes 7-1-2010
poem by John Celes
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Doctor My Eyes
Doctor, my eyes have seen the years
And the slow parade of fears without crying
Now I want to understand
I have done all that I could
To see the evil and the good without hiding
You must help me if you can
Doctor, my eyes
Tell me what is wrong
Was I unwise to leave them open for so long
'Cause I have wandered through this world
And as each moment has unfurled
I've been waiting to awaken from these dreams
People go just where they will
I never noticed them until I got this feeling
That it's later than it seems
Doctor, my eyes
Tell me what you see
I hear their cries
Just say if it's too late for me
Is it too late
Is it too late for me
Tell me doctor
Doctor, my eyes
Cannot see the sky
Is this the price for having learned how not to cry
song performed by by Wilson Phillips
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Medicine Man
(coverdale)
You never leave her alone,
I can see you never learn
When youre playing with fire,
You get your fingers burned
There aint no use in crying,
Baby dont delay,
You can call your doctor,
Ill be there right away
Im the medicine man,
Your doctor of love
Medicine man,
Doctor of love
When theres a feeling inside,
That just cant be denied,
I will be your medicine man
Now dont you ever worry,
If you feel the fever rise,
Youll never fool nobody,
When theres fire in your eyes
There aint no use denying,
When you need it deep inside
Youve got your witch doctor
To keep you satisfied
Im the medicine man,
Your doctor of love
Medicine man,
Doctor of love
When theres a feeling inside,
That just cant be denied,
I will be your medicine man.
You never leave her alone,
I can see you never learn
When youre playing with fire,
You get your fingers burned
There aint no use in crying,
Baby dont delay,
You can call your doctor,
Ill be there right away
Im the medicine man,
Your doctor of love
Medicine man,
Doctor of love
When theres a feeling inside,
That just cant be denied,
I will be your medicine man
Your doctor of love
Im medicine man,
Doctor of love...
song performed by by Whitesnake
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Soul Doctor
Well I woke up this morning
Took your advice
I dialed the number
And I let it ring twice
Then I hung up
Now I tried to do
Everything I could
To save our love
And make it feel good again
I cant fight it, theres nobody home
Hard hearted and all alone
I give you love, you aint giving it back
I cant take it
I need to see the soul doctor
Before the fever begins
You know Im searching for the soul doctor
When love is wearing thin
Doctor soul is in
Ive been kicked in the corner
Im down in the dirt
I cant feel a thing
But I know it ought to hurt
Now your shaking my spirit
Im breaking my back
Im too blind to hear it
So I over react to satisfaction
If I could get me some
I aint talking, theres nothing to say
Misunderstandin, your walking away
Maybe baby, its gonna take time, time, time
I need to see the soul doctor
Before the fever begins
You know Im searching for the soul doctor
When love is wearing thin
Doctor soul is in
I need to see the soul doctor
You know things are looking grim
I keep searching for the soul doctor
Doctor soul is in
The doctors soul intention
Let it be understood
Cant pull the strings of my heart
I aint made out of wood
Now I take what I get
To get what it takes
Need a little bit a love
Got a whole lotta heartaches
I cant fight it, theres nobody home
Hard hearted and all alone
Maybe baby, its gonna take time, time, time
I need to see the soul doctor
Before the fever begins
You know Im searching for the soul doctor
When love is wearing thin
Doctor soul is in
I need to see the soul doctor
You know things are looking grim
I keep searching for the soul doctor
Doctor soul is in
Hey, a little bit of soul, oh yeah
Doctor soul is in
Heart and soul doctor
I need to see the soul doctor, soul doctor
Doctor soul is in
Doctor, doctor, doctor, doctor save my soul
Doctor soul is in
Ooh
song performed by by Foreigner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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In the Dark Train
in the dark train
when its lamp extinguish
I sit alone
when a have jacket
sit the casquette at elbow
me immediately
I move when feeling
he grope the my hand finger
what have ring to gold
in darkness
just there is
one who exploit
the opportunity
to profit ownself
poem by Prasetya Utama
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Doctor My Eyes
Doctor, my eyes have seen the years
And the slow parade of fears without crying
Now I want to understand
I have done all that I could
To see the evil and the good without hiding
You must help me if you can
Doctor, my eyes
Tell me what is wrong
Was I unwise to leave them open for so long
cause I have wandered through this world
And as each moment has unfurled
Ive been waiting to awaken from these dreams
People go just where there will
I never noticed them until I got this feeling
That its later than it seems
Doctor, my eyes
Tell me what you see
I hear their cries
Just say if its too late for me
Doctor, my eyes
Cannot see the sky
Is this the prize for having learned how not to cry
song performed by by Jackson Browne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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After a prosperous, but to me very wearisome, voyage, we came at last into port. Immediately on landing I got together my few effects; and, squeezing myself through the crowd, went into the nearest and humblest inn which first met my gaze.
quote by Adelbert von Chamisso
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Doctor Doctor
Doctor doctor, please
Oh, the mess Im in
Doctor doctor, please,
Oh the mess Im in
She walked up to me
And really stole my heart
And then she started
To take my body apart
*livin, lovin, Im on the run
Far away from you
Livin, lovin, Im on the run
So far away from you
Doctor doctor, please
Oh, Im goin fast
Doctor doctor, please,
Oh, Im goin fast
Its only just a moment,
Shes turnin paranoid
Thats not a situation for a nervous boy
Doctor doctor, please
Oh, the mess Im in
Doctor doctor, please,
Oh, the mess Im in
But you look so angry
As I crawled across your floor
Shes got the strain,
And I cant take any more
*repeat
*repeat
song performed by by Ufo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The majority of people who buy homes in golf course communities don't play golf. Golf is way down at the bottom in terms of total numbers and growth.
quote by Ed McMahon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ring Ring
I was sitting by the phone
I was waiting all alone
Baby by myself I sit and wait and wonder about you
Its a dark and dreary night
Seems like nothings going right
Wont you tell me honey how can I go on here without you?
Yes Im down and feeling blue
And I dont know what to do, oh-oh
Ring, ring, why dont you give me a call?
Ring, ring, the happiest sound of them all
Ring, ring, I stare at the phone on the wall
And I sit all alone impatiently
Wont you please understand the need in me
So, ring, ring, why dont you give me a call?
So, ring, ring, why dont you give me a call?
You were here and now youre gone
Hey did I do something wrong?
I just cant believe that I could be so badly mistaken
Was it me or was it you?
Tell me, are we really through?
Wont you hear me cry and you will know that my heart is breaking
Please forgive and then forget
Or maybe darling better yet, oh-oh
Ring, ring, why dont you give me a call?
Ring, ring, the happiest sound of them all
Ring, ring, I stare at the phone on the wall
And I sit all alone impatiently
Wont you please understand the need in me
So, ring, ring, why dont you give me a call?
So, ring, ring, why dont you give me a call?
Oh-oh, ring, ring, why dont you give me a call?
So, ring, ring, why dont you give me a call?
song performed by by ABBA
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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For A Round Of Golf
For leisure the game that so many do play
For a round of golf 'tis a beautiful day
By the wide slow flowing river that crawls to the sea
Men and women practice their strokes before their evening tea.
As a boy I believed hobby golfers had easy jobs
And that those who enjoyed golf were well to do snobs
But such antiquated thinking not relevant today
As all kinds of classes the game of golf play.
A beautiful day for a beautiful game
For most hobby golfers with no aspirations to fame
After work they go to the golf course in the evening sun
And play the eighteen holes for the sake of fun.
Of the praises of golf everybody doesn't sing
But for the participants a game without physical contact can be such a fun thing
In the golf course by the river that to the sea crawl
The crack of the iron on the stone hard golf ball.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Rock n Roll Doctor
Well Im sick and tired of hearing bout the world and its hang ups
Gonna get myself together,
Take a ride downtown
Gotta see my rocknroll doctor *3
Gotta see him,see him today. hes gonna blow me away
He makes me happy when Im feeling down
Take away my worry takes away my frown
Gotta see my rocknroll doctor *3
Gotta see him,see him today
He gonna blow me away
If you wanna feel groovy
Give the doctor a call
Doctor rock will help you anytime at all
Gotta see my rocknroll doctor *3
Gotta see him,see him today
He gonna blow me away
song performed by by Black Sabbath
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm Not Into Zombies
Whatever you have ever said
Has been fine with me
Remember you were the one
Who kept reminding me
I lived in my own world
And in your world I did not fit in
I've accepted that
Why should I be blamed
For not expressing to you empathy?
Shouldn't you be getting that
From those you claimed to me
Had your back?
You made the announcement
You wouldn't be caught dead around me
With your friends
Have they realized you died?
Or have you come here just to taunt me?
Either way
That ghost look you have is rather ghastly
Maybe you should return back to your world
I'm not into zombies
Whatever has happened
You need to see your doctor immediately
Maybe it's from something you've been feeding on
For too long
Yeah!
That's what I would do
Go see your doctor!
You don't look too good to me at all
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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