If I could be a bird, I think I'd be a penguin, because then I could walk around on two feet with a lot of other guys like me.
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Petrel And a Penguin
The proud petrel
with strong mettle
flew over the sea.
Throwing his litters on the rocks
he watched the clumsy penguin’s walks.
The stupid penguin looked at the sky.
How much he wished to fly!
He had heard
he was also a bird.
If he could fly
he would proudly throw his litter
from the bird’s eye.
The moral of this song:
Remember to what kind of bird you belong.
Am I right?
A bird is known by it’s flight.
©Larisa Rzhepishevska
05/11/2010
poem by Larisa Rzhepishevska
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Daft Crackpot
Parky the penguin felt so low,
He didn’t really like the snow,
Or the blustery winds that blow
Across his icy world.
Parky the penguin thought that he
Would find a boat and go to sea,
He needed to be wild and free,
Gone from his icy world.
Parky the penguin sailed away,
Spotted a sunny sandy bay,
Where he could laze around all day.
Unlike his icy world.
Parky the penguin got so hot,
And could not find one shady spot,
He knew he was a daft crackpot,
Leaving his icy world.
Parky the penguin hitched a ride,
On a tiny raft, narrow not wide,
And reaching home, had verified,
He’d missed his icy world.
Parky the penguin hugged his Mum,
Then skidded off upon his tum,
His escapade was not humdrum,
Nor was his icy world.
poem by Ernestine Northover
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The Penguin
I've seen the beautiful penguin
And what a sight it is!
It's very cute, you're bound to grin -
It's next to perfect bliss!
The way it waddles side-to-side,
Its webbed feet on the go
And at full throttle, open wide,
It still moves kinda slow...
It reminds me of a beaver,
The water is its home,
Yet it likes to take a breather,
As onward it would roam...
It's virgin white on waiter black,
A costume ready-made...
The water's surface starts to crack -
It dives in unafraid!
I'd like to stroke a penguin's front
To see if penguins smile...
I've not been on a penguin hunt
In quite a long, long while!
It must be great to have such fun,
To swim and swirl below,
Inside wet water, 'neath the sun,
Fluorescent, all aglow!
Forget about a Teddy Bear!
Its fur is way too rough!
I'd rather be at home and share
A penguin I could love...
poem by Denis Martindale
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Fun, Fun, Fun
Well she got her daddys car
And she cruised through the hamburger stand now
Seems she forgot all about the library
Like she told her old man now
And with the radio blasting
Goes cruising just as fast as she can now
And shell have fun fun fun
til her daddy takes the t-bird away
(fun fun fun til her daddy takes the t-bird away)
Well the girls cant stand her
cause she walks looks and drives like an ace now
(you walk like an ace now you walk like an ace)
She makes the indy 500 look like a roman chariot race now
(you look like an ace now you look like an ace)
A lotta guys try to catch her
But she leads them on a wild goose chase now
(you drive like an ace now you drive like an ace)
And shell have fun fun fun
til her daddy takes the t-bird away
(fun fun fun til her daddy takes the t-bird away)
Well you knew all along
That your dad was gettin wise to you now
(you shouldnt have lied now you shouldnt have lied)
And since he took your set of keys
Youve been thinking that your fun is all through now
(you shouldnt have lied now you shouldnt have lied)
But you can come along with me
cause we gotta a lot of things to do now
(you shouldnt have lied now you shouldnt have lied)
And well have fun fun fun now that daddy took the t-bird away
(fun fun fun now that daddy took the t-bird away)
And well have fun fun fun now that daddy took the t-bird away
(fun fun fun now that daddy took the t-bird away)
(fun fun now that daddy took the t-bird away)
(fun fun now that daddy took the t-bird away)
(fun fun now that daddy took the t-bird away)
(fun fun now that daddy took the t-bird away)
(fun fun now that daddy took the t-bird away)
(fun fun now that daddy took the t-bird away)
song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lies About Tall Guys
Just seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys seem to get executive jobs
Shorter guys work mostly as clerks
Taller guys never seem to be slobs
Shorter guys always seem to be jerks
Taller guys seem to get all of the action
Shorter guys seem to be quite invisible
Taller guys always seem to deserve satisfaction
Shorter guys are lonely and miserable
Just seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys just seem born to play sports
Shorter guys kinda seem to like tennis
Taller guys certainly look better in shorts
Shorter guys look like Dennis the Menace
Taller guys are usually at the top of their class
Shorter guys seem to fail quite a lot
Taller guys always seem to kick ass
Shorter guys want to, but simply cannot
sure seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys get better grades and such
Shorter guys seem to barely scrape by
Taller guys seem to do better, pretty much
Shorter guys always wonder why
Taller guys seem to have eyes like a hawk
Shorter guys seem to wear glasses a lot
Taller guys cover more ground when they walk
Shorter guys, to keep up, have to trot
Sure seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys and their friends look like N.B.A players
Shorter guys look more like cheerleaders
Taller guys seem to look like dragon slayers
Shorter guys look a lot more like bleeders
Taller guys seem to have more gear to protect
Shorter guys wear more protective gear
Taller guys, more confidence seem to project
Shorter guys have less confidence, more fear
Really seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys appeal to the female gender
Shorter guys always seem to choke
Taller guys carry a lot more legal tender
Shorter guys always seem to be broke
Taller guys seem to drive high dollar cars
Shorter guys drive toyotas
Taller guys seem to reach for the stars
Shorter guys reach for diet sodas
Taller guys are obnoxious, let’s neuter them all
Shorter guys are great people, always a delight
Taller guys are an abomination against mother nature’s law
If you think I’m a short guy….well, you’re right!
Really seems like the way it should be
poem by David Whalen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Self reliance
A sparrow in swiftness, an eagle in hovering,
Or a seagull in glides is not what a penguin is.
To flitter or flutter too, the penguin is not aspiring.
Envious not of others’ skill, she lives sanguinely.
15.09.2000, Pakmd
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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Scrubs In The Mall
Women think they can change the male,
they fall for kind of guy that is helpless and pale,
“He’s got a drug problem I got to help him”,
“His boss is no good, there’s always something.”
Women shop and you see them walking around with these guys,
Guys are all scrubby walking three feet behind.
The guys go to the parking lot with the same walk,
She hands him the keys to her car, they don’t even talk.
He doesn’t have money, he doesn’t have a car
she’s paying for the gas to get keep him the shiny star.
Now some end up on Jerry Springer,
all the same drama, no one is a winner.
Women don’t need to be caretaker to this guy,
if guy is not mature he’s not worth the time.
poem by Christina Sunrise
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Three Musettes
Payment
Regret.
Perhaps I should
Forget
The pain
of losing you.
No gain.
I lost
now I must bear
the cost..
Riddle
A bird
that has no wings
absurd
Penguin
this bird can swim
You win
Again
maybe I should
abstain
Hello Hello
It’s true
echo replies
to you.
You call
echo repeat
that’s all.
Echo
says nothing new
to you.
poem by Ivor Or Ivor.e Hogg
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Hearts Made Of Feet!
and so we struggle,
turning in the womb,
choked by the cord.
conceived in darkness,
becoming light!
we are hearts made of feet,
feet that walk the path.
feet that slip and fall,
feet that take the wrong turn.
feet that keep on walking,
sore, tired, hurting.
feet of desire, and purpose,
feet of soulful intent!
all the great philosophies
come to this...
feet that only stop walking
to bandage other feet;
then walk together,
leaving one set of prints!
poem by Eric Cockrell
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Penguin Paradice
Each penguin's such a precious thing,
Content to honk all day!
Each wide-webbed foot, each floppy wing,
To them, they're quite OK.
The water's cold! They walk on ice!
Do you hear them complain?
To them, this place is Paradise!
They say, 'No p.p.p.pain, no g.g.g.gain! '
You won't catch me in ice cold sea
And gobbling ice cold fish!
They'd soon lose all their novelty -
They're not the ideal dish...
The easy life, that's all I want -
Not fish day in, day out...
My choice in every restaurant!
Yes, that's what life's about!
And central heating suits me fine
And clothes and jewels, too...
Some champagne or some fancy wine
And then I'll muddle through.
But fish, fish, fish would drive me mad!
I'd soon curl up my lips!
With no potatoes to be had,
There'd be no fish and chips!
No telly and no radio,
No papers to peruse...
Live as a penguin? No, thank you!
This human life I'd choose...
poem by Denis Martindale
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Penguin Paradise
Each penguin's such a precious thing,
Content to honk all day!
Each wide-webbed foot, each floppy wing,
To them, they're quite OK.
The water's cold! They walk on ice!
Do you hear them complain?
To them, this place is Paradise!
They say, 'No p.p.p.pain, no g.g.g.gain! '
You won't catch me in ice cold sea
And gobbling ice cold fish!
They'd soon lose all their novelty -
They're not the ideal dish...
The easy life, that's all I want -
Not fish day in, day out...
My choice in every restaurant!
Yes, that's what life's about!
And central heating suits me fine
And clothes and jewels, too...
Some champagne or some fancy wine
And then I'll muddle through.
But fish, fish, fish would drive me mad!
I'd soon curl up my lips!
With no potatoes to be had,
There'd be no fish and chips!
No telly and no radio,
No papers to peruse...
Live as a penguin? No, thank you!
This human life I'd choose...
poem by Denis Martindale
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dead Guy Stickers
In the USA,
They want to put dead guy pictures on cigarette packs.
With that brilliant logic in mind, I say put dead guy stickers on:
car windshields(dead guys in wrecks)
pistol and rifle handles (dead guys shot)
marriage licenses (dead spouses)
hamburger and hot dog wrappers (dead fat guys)
pies, cakes (more dead fat guys)
bathroom doors (thousands of dead guys in bathrooms every year)
bicycles (road kill dead guys)
fire places (burnt dead guys)
swimming pools (drown dead guys)
every electrical outlet (fried dead guys)
air plane tickets (dead passenger guys)
the beach (shark bit dead guys)
cities (shot dead guys)
air (blue dead guys)
fish (poisoned dead guys)
motorcycles (more road kill dead guys)
scarfs (strangled dead guys)
football helmets (brain dead guys)
hot tubs (more drowned dead guys)
and so on.
Just about everything can kill you, such as:
Mothers (dead baby guys plus dead fathers)
Fathers (dead baby guys plus dead mothers)
Police(multiple dead guys and chicks)
Drugs (multiple dead guys and chicks)
and so on.
Once everything has a dead guy sticker on it,
You've been warned and the world will be safer, right?
It shows we care, right?
poem by Richard Jarboe
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Birds and the Above
What is their grade, who sing to the above?
Their legs can not carry their bodies,
For they are inferior, they are inferior.
Legs are too much for those who walk,
Yet the hands are meaning too much.
You are superior, and you are amazing -
It is a man who walks and talks that inspires,
Yet feeble people do not seem wrong
To the caring ones, the ones who care.
Care must be given to you,
As the hospital will fetch you
If hands and feet are allowed.
As you are like a bird,
Birds are like you, for you fly.
With wings you are not,
But hands and feet.
You walk and yet fly,
Yet wings are not feet
For the birds.
What is their grade, who sing to the above?
poem by Naveed Akram
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Awhatthef..kia
'What ho? There ain't no bears down here, '
Said Robert Falcon Scott,
'I'll call it Anobearia.'
Back in acadamia
They translated it to Greek,
Called the place Antarctica,
That's still the name we speak.
What a shame he didn't honour
The flightless polar bird
And call it Apenguinia.
That name might have stuck-
Unless the Greeks had seen the bird
And called it whatthef..k.
In Greek that's ti-oto,
The land Ati-otoa.
Arty-ottowa.
'Sound's good, ' said acadamia,
'But meaning's not so nice.
We'll use the Greek for 'penguin'
And call Apigwevosa,
The Underland of Ice.'
poem by Douglas Scotney
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Girls Cant Do What The Guys Do
(reid / clarke)
Ooh, ooh
Guys are gonna wanna go out and play sometime
But girls you must not let it get you down
Just take this advice I give you
Just like a mother
You try to match a guys independence
You end up in the gutter
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
No, oh no
And, listen girls when you give your heart away
You can easily be hurt
And the least little wrong he does
Always seems like dirt
So take this advice I give you
Just like a mother
You try to match a guys independence
You end up in the gutter
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
No, oh, no, mmm
When you put your faith in one guy
(sometimes hell make you happy)
(sometimes hell make you cry)
Dont lose your self-respect
Tryin to gain revenge
cause no matter how you do it
You lose out in the end
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
song performed by by Dusty Springfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Psycho
No matter wherever I go
Some guys think I am a psycho!
No matter whatever I do
Some guys think I never need you!
No matter whenever I dream
Some guys think I am without team!
No matter whichever I choose
Some guys think I will just lose!
No matter how much I love
Some guys think I tell the bluff!
poem by Asif Andalib
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Some Guys Have All The Luck
Some guys have all the luck
Some guys have all the fun
Some guys have all the luck all the luck
What you gonna do when your luck begins to run
Such a lucky dog it's good luck - push it
I get turned on by everything you do to me
Don't say you shouldn't do that
Push your hard luck hard push it
Oh, to take a kiss from lady luck tonight
Oh yeah I want to so much
Ooh the way it feels when you find out
there's a pearl in it
Girl the way it feels when you get it
Some guys have all the luck
Some guys get all the fun
I get to hear you talk, see you walk
Ooh take me in your arms and let your luck
begin to run
I touch you - alright
I thought my luck had held until you fingered me
We make a right impression when you hold me tight
Wait for a break, my lucky charm
Things are looking up alright - alright
Oh - to taste the lips of lady luck tonight
Oh yeah - I want to - so much
Ooh the it it feels when you find out
there's a pearl in it
Girl the way you squeal when you get it
Some guys have all the luck
Some guys get all the breaks
I get to roll my dice - ain't it nice
Ooh take me in your kitchen and we'll play
for higher stakes
song performed by by Robert Palmer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Fish in Yonder Pond
There was a fish in yonder pond
His fins of which he was not fond
For walking was his goal, you see-
to walk around like you or me
He leaped up high into the air,
and saw a bouncing, bumbling, bear.
He was about on two hind feet,
the fish found this to be quite neat.
And so one day, he made a vow
to grow some feet, he wondered how.
He went to bed, yet he was sad.
He had no feet, and this was bad.
But when he woke, to his surprise
No fins were there, but feet and thighs!
For a young polliwog was he
not fish, not bird, not man, nor tree!
Twas fun to be a polliwog,
but better, a free, fearless frog.
While fearless yes, but careless too,
They caught the frog; He's in the zoo!
poem by Mela Marie
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I Wish I Had Been Born A Bird...[Personal; Birds; Humor]
My parents were both humans, so I am human too,
but I'd wish to be a bird, if I could be born anew.
Though I 'love' birds, you may think my wish absurd.
But more absurd wishes I'm sure you have heard.
Of course I'm not a bird and never will be.
But if I could talk to birds I could better see
if the life of a bird would really satisfy me.
Eating seeds and bugs and such, and sitting in a tree.
My bird of choice? How would I pick a winner?
Not a penguin, who has to dress for dinner.
Not an ostrich, another flightless bird.
And a strutting peacock might just be absurd.
Perhaps an eagle, soaring high above you,
or a hummingbird, acrobat of the blue.
Or perhaps a mighty swan swimming gracefully,
or a nightingale whistling a concert, free.
For certain I would not choose a caged-life,
though, uncaged, dangers for me might be rife.
I think I'd prefer fresh-kill to old road kill,
and a nest in tree rather than on window sill.
If a bird, I'd not have had to deal with military draft.
Or had others think sometimes that I am daft.
All sorts of human signs and laws I could spurn.
And there'd be no reason to file a tax return.
I'd have no need to wear or ever change diapers,
no need to get gas or change windshield wipers,
no need for lawyers or too many teachers,
no need to listen to rehashing preachers,
no need to plan for death or watch my cholesterol.
As a bird I'd just have to listen to Mother Nature's call.
(September 2009)
poem by Bri Edwards
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The Navajo Night Way Ceremony
In beauty may I walk
All day long may I walk
Through the returning seasons may I walk
Beautifully I will possess again
Beautifully birds
Beautifully joyful birds
On the trail marked with pollen may I walk
With grasshoppers about my feet may I walk
With dew about my feet may I walk
With beauty may I walk
With beauty before me may I walk
With beauty behind me may I walk
With beauty above me may I walk
With beauty all around me may I walk
In old age, wandering on a trail of beauty,
lively, may I walk
In old age, wandering on a trail of beauty,
living again, may I walk
It is finished in beauty
It is finished in beauty
poem by Anonymous Americas
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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