Scrubs In The Mall
Women think they can change the male,
they fall for kind of guy that is helpless and pale,
“He’s got a drug problem I got to help him”,
“His boss is no good, there’s always something.”
Women shop and you see them walking around with these guys,
Guys are all scrubby walking three feet behind.
The guys go to the parking lot with the same walk,
She hands him the keys to her car, they don’t even talk.
He doesn’t have money, he doesn’t have a car
she’s paying for the gas to get keep him the shiny star.
Now some end up on Jerry Springer,
all the same drama, no one is a winner.
Women don’t need to be caretaker to this guy,
if guy is not mature he’s not worth the time.
poem by Christina Sunrise
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Lies About Tall Guys
Just seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys seem to get executive jobs
Shorter guys work mostly as clerks
Taller guys never seem to be slobs
Shorter guys always seem to be jerks
Taller guys seem to get all of the action
Shorter guys seem to be quite invisible
Taller guys always seem to deserve satisfaction
Shorter guys are lonely and miserable
Just seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys just seem born to play sports
Shorter guys kinda seem to like tennis
Taller guys certainly look better in shorts
Shorter guys look like Dennis the Menace
Taller guys are usually at the top of their class
Shorter guys seem to fail quite a lot
Taller guys always seem to kick ass
Shorter guys want to, but simply cannot
sure seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys get better grades and such
Shorter guys seem to barely scrape by
Taller guys seem to do better, pretty much
Shorter guys always wonder why
Taller guys seem to have eyes like a hawk
Shorter guys seem to wear glasses a lot
Taller guys cover more ground when they walk
Shorter guys, to keep up, have to trot
Sure seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys and their friends look like N.B.A players
Shorter guys look more like cheerleaders
Taller guys seem to look like dragon slayers
Shorter guys look a lot more like bleeders
Taller guys seem to have more gear to protect
Shorter guys wear more protective gear
Taller guys, more confidence seem to project
Shorter guys have less confidence, more fear
Really seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys appeal to the female gender
Shorter guys always seem to choke
Taller guys carry a lot more legal tender
Shorter guys always seem to be broke
Taller guys seem to drive high dollar cars
Shorter guys drive toyotas
Taller guys seem to reach for the stars
Shorter guys reach for diet sodas
Taller guys are obnoxious, let’s neuter them all
Shorter guys are great people, always a delight
Taller guys are an abomination against mother nature’s law
If you think I’m a short guy….well, you’re right!
Really seems like the way it should be
poem by David Whalen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Fall Out
Words and music by Stewart Copeland
I never thought of leading
I've got my own machine
And I've paid my dues all along
All set for breaking
When I missed those other people
'Cause I knew that I was really alone
Fall out
Fall out with all the leaders and guys
Fall out
Fall out with all the leaders and guys
I saw my education
It was my indocrination
Just to be another parking machine
All my sense was breaking
When I missed those other people
'Cause I knew that I was not very clean
Fall out
Fall out with all the leaders and guys
Fall out
Fall out with all the leaders and guys
Fall out
Fall out with all the leaders and guys
Fall out
Fall out with all the leaders and guys
Fall out
song performed by by Police
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The funny part is...
**Excuse the cussing, I guess I'm bitter when it comes to women.**
I always hear women say that they're looking for a nice guy.
That they are tired of jerk-off a*******.
The funny thing is that no they are not.
They are tired of that one jerk-off a******,
And are just searching for the next.
Now it's true cycles can be broken
But we are creatures of habit.
Nothing will change that.
Lets say one of these girls met a nice guy.
They would treat him like s***.
Walk all over him.
The funny thing is they will soon be 30
- And not married
Wondering why, oh why can't I find a good man.
It's because you're a b****.
Most guys have NO PROBLEM faking a relationship to **** a b****
The funny thing is most women won't ever tell the difference.
Because all those nice men now have wives.
poem by King Happy
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks
If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter
My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be
Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
Scoring with a super model would be easy
Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonomous with 'super dumb'
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes
The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean
See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like this
And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway
And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
And I don't shave my heiny
Don't shave my heiny
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
song performed by by Bloodhound Gang from One Fierce Beer Coaster
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Women like to slow dance
Women like to slow dance
Men like to boogie fast…
Women lprefer to prettily prance
And make the dance last and last
Men like to stand against the wall
And act like they’re bored as hell
While they actually are wishing that…
they could dance half as well….
As…The guys that can slow dance
And Seem to Have it best of all
They have the delight of dipping the pretties
Rather than not dancing at all
Women… like… to slow dance! ! !
A concept most men just can’t grasp
So while their ladies are getting dipped
They stand around waiting to dance fast
Guys! ! ! … it’s not rocket science
So wake up out of your trance
While you might like to boogie on down…
Women like to slow dance
poem by David Whalen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Nice Guys Don't Deserve To Be Put To The Test
do i really judge a guy,
before i give him a chance,
is that why it so hard,
for a guy to stick around,
i push him away,
before he has the chance to,
change my opinion about him,
yeah i admit,
i don't love easy,
i was hurt before,
i even started to date,
most guys can't understand,
they can't understand my pain,
my struggles of even letting them,
get close to me,
in my mind,
all guys want is sex,
there are very few guys,
who will hold back enough,
to let me know that,
that is not all they are after,
i put guys through tests,
and when they are done,
some see that i am not worth it,
it's my way of keeping my distance,
at times it gets lonely,
but i would rather be lonely,
than broken into a million pieces,
i can't handle anymore pain,
what i'm dealing with,
will make anybody go crazy,
but i'm starting to see,
it not right too,
what i put guys through,
just to prove they worth it,
i'm doing the samething,
as the guys who want me for sex,
what makes me any different?
ppl deserve to be treated right.
poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Women - the bad ones
Women are like cats
so pretty and devious all in the same way.
When they want something they'll come a purring.
All want to be fussed over like with Daddy.
I used to bend over backwards to help women
Now I don't give a shit.
I used to respect them but all of its waste of time.
Used to buy a drink
Now they drink it and run off to next poor sucker.
But now some motherf****r is getting them back
spiking their drinks and having their way.
I am not as sick as them.
I just tired of being stabbed in the heart.
Once bitten, twice shy.
A saying so true.
Now women just make me blue.
When I had money, they'd line up to get some.
Got tired of golddiggers and whores
Its left me with a bad taste.
Loving someone - not worth it.
Love is bullshit.
Can't find anyway to love me for who I am.
The only woman who is genuine
was the one who brought me to life.
I can't spare time or effort on today's women
they are a waste of time.
If you want respect,
your earn it otherwise go wallow in your own bullshit.
My own company is better.
I have waste my money on shoes or makeup
I just wish you would fucking shut up.
You women you cry for equality
But even good guys like me are sick to death.
Of your campaign.
God may have us equal
But i dont see that now.
I feel nothing for women
I'm all dried out.
poem by Ibrar Siddiqi
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dead Guy Stickers
In the USA,
They want to put dead guy pictures on cigarette packs.
With that brilliant logic in mind, I say put dead guy stickers on:
car windshields(dead guys in wrecks)
pistol and rifle handles (dead guys shot)
marriage licenses (dead spouses)
hamburger and hot dog wrappers (dead fat guys)
pies, cakes (more dead fat guys)
bathroom doors (thousands of dead guys in bathrooms every year)
bicycles (road kill dead guys)
fire places (burnt dead guys)
swimming pools (drown dead guys)
every electrical outlet (fried dead guys)
air plane tickets (dead passenger guys)
the beach (shark bit dead guys)
cities (shot dead guys)
air (blue dead guys)
fish (poisoned dead guys)
motorcycles (more road kill dead guys)
scarfs (strangled dead guys)
football helmets (brain dead guys)
hot tubs (more drowned dead guys)
and so on.
Just about everything can kill you, such as:
Mothers (dead baby guys plus dead fathers)
Fathers (dead baby guys plus dead mothers)
Police(multiple dead guys and chicks)
Drugs (multiple dead guys and chicks)
and so on.
Once everything has a dead guy sticker on it,
You've been warned and the world will be safer, right?
It shows we care, right?
poem by Richard Jarboe
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Five Guys Named Moe
I gotta tell you a story from way back
Truck on down and dig me jack
Theres big moe, little moe, four-eyed moe, no moe,
Look at brother, look at brother, look at brother eat moe
Moe, moe, moe, moe, moe, moe, moe
Whos the greatest band around
Makes the cats jump up and down
Whos the talk of rhythm town
Five guys named moe
When they start to beat it out
Everybody jump and shout
Tell me who do the critics rave about
Five guys named moe
They came out of nowhere
But that dont mean a thing
They rate high and youll know why
When you hear them sing
High brow, low brow, all agree
Theyre the best in harmony
Im telling you folks you just got to see
Five guys named moe
Theres big moe...
Little moe...
One guy... big moe
Two guys... little big moe
Three guys... four-eyed moe
Four guys... no moe
Five guys... eat moe
Five little guys named moe
song performed by by Joe Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Men & Women, Women & Men
Why are women forced to be submissive towards men?
Is it true that men are the more dominant species of human?
I think not
As it is women who have been portrayed as this
By no other than the male species
We are equal
Each possessing different qualities
And both species intertwining each others traits
But there are those few how still believe
That women are inferior to men
To those few I simply say…
Women and men
The differences between us are on the outside only
People do not really talk the way they used to
But they still think that way
We have the same mind
Our spirits are different
Yet somehow they are all still connected
We breathe the same air
And walk the same path
We are alike
We just need to see it
Men & women, women & men.
poem by Natalie Clyne
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.
quote by Dave Barry
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Women Seem
Written by John Mellencamp
Women seem to like me
They seem to like what I have to say
When they see me out in public
Women seem to look my way
Women seem to treat me so gracious
They sing me to sleep with a song
But there always seems to be a problem
Women don't seem to like me long
Yeah Yeah Yeah
Women seem to want me
To stay with them all night
We have so much in common
Our futures really do seem bright
Women seem to forgive me
They seem to become my very good friends
But when it comes time for a commitment
The romance always seems to end
They tell me all their stories
We lay awake and talk all night
Maybe it's me I don't know
But in the morning there always seems to be some kind of fight
La La La La La
Well women seem to be so clever
I love all the jokes that they tell
Like my last boyfriend really hurt me in bed
Hey but you seem to fit so well
Women sure can hurt your feelings
They can burn you down and not make a sound
And then they call me up and say hey come over
My husband has just left town
They tell me all their stories
We lay awake and laugh all night
Maybe it's me I don't know
But in the morning there always seems to be some kind of fight
Women seem to love houses
I've bought a couple for one or two
Women seem to think all men are louses
And I guess I think so too
Women seem so much smarter
Than your average Joe
Women seem to be a little more intuitive
And when they lie nobody knows
Well women seem to know how to keep a secret
They don't blabbermouth just for show
Fifty percent of their charm is illusion
And that is a good thing to know
-aca
song performed by by John Mellencamp
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Women are just as good
We can’t live without them
We Can’t stand to be near them
Are men better than Women?
Do they think they are cooler?
Why do they piss us off so easy?
We hate them, Yet love them so dear
Would the world be better without them
Or would it be good for all of us?
We say us women are better
But we need them to save the human race
Do men need us?
Do they say they love us
So they can have 'fun'
And throw us away like a dead cat
Then leave us heart broken
Why do men abuse women mentally and Physical?
Why don't they listen to when we talk?
Why do they think they are the boss?
And women has the same amount of rites a man does
Women can also be just as successful as men
Why can't men be the house maids?
And Women the one to come home late?
Why do they think they are always right?
Why must they think it's funny
To do the scariest things to us?
Why do they think they are smarter?
Women are just as good as men!
poem by Kimberley Gonzalez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Decline Of Man (And The Rise Of Women)
Throughout the ages until the recent day
Strength and size ruled the world
But those times have long passed away
The days when women truly needed men
Were all the norm back then
Now gone Ne’er to be back again
Machines that farm and till our land
Can make our goods much faster than
The hand of any common working man
It’s the age of women (perhaps long overdue)
It’s machines and technology and many
Men have no clue
So now it’s become a world of finesse
Where strength and size
Could matter less
There’s a sea-change come upon the land
Where there’s no need
For strong back or hand
That women are as able and probably more so
To push the buttons program the computers
That make our modern world go
For every two men who have a degree
The number of women that do
Add up to three
For every four men who are the boss
There’s now five women in charge
“What’cha think of that “hoss? ”
Women now, in many cases, raise our kids alone
And these erstwhile, dependent ladies (now quite independent)
Are oft’ the only parent in the home
So the times they are a’changin’ guys
And personally, I think it’s quite a feat
That women are becoming the strong and wise
And we’re becoming obsolete!
poem by David Whalen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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You mean guys don't get injured in spring training? Guys get hurt walking down the street.
I know what the attitudes of the readers are: These are guys who love women and respect women.
quote by Christie Hefner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Drivin With Your Eyes Closed
I met a frenchman in a field last night
He was out there with an easel,
Painting carnival light
He said, I used to paint the princess;
I used to paint the frogs
Now I paint mustaches on dangerous dogs
He said, sometimes its a country;
Sometimes its a girl
You, everybody got to have a purpose
In this world
You yankees are so silly about matters of
The heart
Dont you know that women are the only
Works of art
Youre drivin with your eyes closed
Youre drivin with your eyes closed
Youre drivin with your eyes closed
Youre gonna hit somethin
But thats the way it goes
Some guys were born to rimbaud
Some guys breathe baudelaire
Some guys just got to go and put
Their rockets everywhere
You can breed em by the thousands;
You can trick and you can train
Just look at all those poor dogs that are
Dragged down bu the seine
How many arrows must I shoot into the
Blue?
Ah, you little maniac, Im crazy over you
Before the dearth of lovers and
The punishment of pride
Lets go scrape out on the terrazzo
Its just to hot outside
Youre drivin with your eyes closed
Youre drivin with your eyes closed
Youre drivin with your eyes closed
Youre gonna hit somethin
But thats the way it goes
Talk talk, talk and talk
Talk talk, sweet talk
Talk talk, tough talk
Talk talk, dirty talk
Talk talk, walk and talk
Talk talk, big talk
Kiss kiss, kiss
Talk talk, talk and talk
Talk talk, smooth talk
Talk talk, body talk
Talk talk, back talk
Talk talk, small talk
Talk talk, baby talk
Talk talk, peace talk
Talk talk, bullshit
song performed by by Don Henley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Broken Hearted Man
There was a man,
Who had a heart.
A women came,
And stole it away.
Now he's walking,
All alone,
Down the darkest ally,
They have in town.
(Chorus)
He's the broken hearted man,
Only has his hands.
He rejects,
Any signs of love.
Cause the women that he loved,
Was his only love.
(End of Chorus)
Walking all alone,
No place to call his own.
Lost all his money,
On the hot honey.
Dread sets in,
And he kills himself.
Now all he's got,
Is his soul,
And his walking shoes.
(End of Song)
poem by Dragon Crenshaw
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Some Women Like Their Men
Some women like their men gentle and some like them rough
And some like them clever and some like them tough
When it comes to the male kind few women agree
We all look at things one might say differently
Some women the macho type of a bloke do prefer
The refined type of fellow is not one for her
And good looks and youthfulness to some little to amount
The one with heaps of money to them only count,
Some women than others are harder to please
And some go for a man with the Uni Degrees
And some women do prefer muscles to brain
How chemistry works in people is beyond me to explain
When it comes to men few women agree
We all look at things one might say differently.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Girls Cant Do What The Guys Do
(reid / clarke)
Ooh, ooh
Guys are gonna wanna go out and play sometime
But girls you must not let it get you down
Just take this advice I give you
Just like a mother
You try to match a guys independence
You end up in the gutter
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
No, oh no
And, listen girls when you give your heart away
You can easily be hurt
And the least little wrong he does
Always seems like dirt
So take this advice I give you
Just like a mother
You try to match a guys independence
You end up in the gutter
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
No, oh, no, mmm
When you put your faith in one guy
(sometimes hell make you happy)
(sometimes hell make you cry)
Dont lose your self-respect
Tryin to gain revenge
cause no matter how you do it
You lose out in the end
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
And still be a lady
Girls, you cant do what the guys do, no
song performed by by Dusty Springfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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