If life deals you lemons, why not go kill someone with the lemons (maybe by shoving them down his throat)
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When Life Gives You Lemons
When Life Gives You Lemons
Shopping for a lemon and honey
For money can actually buy
At a Chinatown grocery store
The lemon acidity diminish phlegm
The honey to replenish sweetness lost
In conjunction with Chamomile Green Tea
To soothe my throat from this stupid lingering cough
When Life Gives You Lemons
I throw the lemons right back
For my lashing is the acidity squirted at malicious people
Their juice from the lemon is very weak
For the acid is deflected right back
Honey, I've got a lot more sweetness should malicious people throw acid at me
Yet attempt to destroy my sunshine as my uplifting spirit continues to be envied
Have a shot of Limoncello!
Lemon Sorrow
Have you ever tasted sorrow,
I think it taste like lemons,
If all feelings had a taste i think of lemons,
They can be sour then can get sweet,
Lemons sweet or sour then comes the sorrow taste,
Sorrow taste of rain,
Sorrow taste of lemons,
poem by Samantha Guinen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Lemon Or Orange Fruit?
Your highlights and shadows strong,
As always, you do no wrong!
Lemons? It could be,
Oranges? It can also be,
What I see is what it will be,
A basket of yellow citrus fruit,
I don't mean to be rude,
Please, Lemons or orange fruit?
Lemons
an married woman made love
to her lover
seven times last night
and she confessed her
sins to the parish priests
who after listening
said that as an act of
penance
she needs to take
seven lemons and squeeze
and then drink it at once
'what for is these lemons? ' she asked
'woman, it can wipe the smile
off your face! ' he answered.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Mrs Jaypher
Mrs Jaypher found a wafer
Which she stuck upon a note;
This she took and gave the cook.
Then she went and bought a boat,
Which she paddled down the stream,
Shouting, 'Ice produces cream,
Beer when churned produces butter!
Henceforth all the words I utter
Distant ages thus shall note -
'From the Jaypher Wisdom-Boat.''
Mrs Jaypher said, 'It's safer
If you've lemons in your head;
First to eat, a pound of meat,
And then to go at once to bed.
Eating meat is half the battle,
Till you hear the Lemons rattle!
If you don't, you'll always moan,
In a Lemoncolly tone;
For there's nothing half so dreadful,
as Lemons in your head.
poem by Edward Lear
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A Basket of Lemons- Senryo! ! ! ! !
Basket of lemons
At my door... ironical,
Who knew had sore throat...
No visitng card
pondered, was attached...
As I quitely sat,
making lemonade
with a dash of honey
to soften sourness...
poem by Mamta Agarwal
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Happy Summer
Her branches reach across the yard
tall and proud from season's gone by
dangling the jewels of summer
bringing forth ripe, tart
beautifully yellow' d lemons
picked, they are, in morning's wee hours
as not to be drenched in afternoon's southern humidity
Each lemon is tenderly placed in the crate
they spring forth a mouthwatering, fresh perfume
they ooze sweetest oil from their pores
dimples cover the richness of their peels
summer is all about lemons
about fresh, homemade, full of pulp,
thirst quenching, pucker up lemonade.
Happy Summer!
Copyright @ 08/21/2010
poem by Diana Newsome
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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. I have several stands around here.
quote by James Brady
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.
quote by Conan O'Brien
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I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
I don't jog, if I die I want to be sick.
quote by Abe Lemons
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lemons Never Do Forget
Incident'ly there should some changes made.
You've got to work if you should have to save.
An apple is a fool but lemons never do forget.
You've got to play it cool before they come and throw the net.
Wait a while and straighten out the tie you wear.
You've got to take it easy if you dare.
An apple is a fool but lemons never do forget.
You've got to play it cool before they come and throw the net.
Don't be blind you've got a thinking mind.
Stop the bells that ring so loud.
Don't nod your head you'll draw a crowd.
Just think of ev'rything you've worked so hard to bring.
The lemon sings my song; He's known it all along.
Incident'ly there should be some changes made.
You've got to work if you should have to save.
An apple is a fool but lemons never do forget.
You've got to play it cool before they come and throw the net.
Don't be blind you've got a thinking mind.
Stop the bells that ring so loud.
Don't nod your head you'll draw a crowd.
Just think of ev'rything you've worked so hard to bring.
The lemon sings my song; He's known it all along.
Incident'ly there should be some changes made.
You've got to work if you should have to save.
An apple is a fool but lemons never do forget.
You've got to play it cool before they come and throw the net.
song performed by by Bee Gees from Horizontal
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lemons Never Forget
Incident'ly there should some changes made.
You've got to work if you should have to save.
An apple is a fool but lemons never do forget.
You've got to play it cool before they come and throw the net.
Wait a while and straighten out the tie you wear.
You've got to take it easy if you dare.
An apple is a fool but lemons never do forget.
You've got to play it cool before they come and throw the net.
Don't be blind you've got a thinking mind.
Stop the bells that ring so loud.
Don't nod your head you'll draw a crowd.
Just think of ev'rything you've worked so hard to bring.
The lemon sings my song; He's known it all along.
Incident'ly there should be some changes made.
You've got to work if you should have to save.
An apple is a fool but lemons never do forget.
You've got to play it cool before they come and throw the net.
Don't be blind you've got a thinking mind.
Stop the bells that ring so loud.
Don't nod your head you'll draw a crowd.
Just think of ev'rything you've worked so hard to bring.
The lemon sings my song; He's known it all along.
Incident'ly there should be some changes made.
You've got to work if you should have to save.
An apple is a fool but lemons never do forget.
You've got to play it cool before they come and throw the net.
song performed by by Bee Gees
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
quote by Abe Lemons
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It was a hole in one contest and I had a three.
quote by Abe Lemons
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Damn referees, I'll miss them less than anybody.
quote by Abe Lemons
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I want to make lemonade out of the lemons that were dealt to me.
quote by Baron Hill
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One day of practice is like one day of clean living. It doesn't do you any good.
quote by Abe Lemons
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