Mrs Jaypher
Mrs Jaypher found a wafer
Which she stuck upon a note;
This she took and gave the cook.
Then she went and bought a boat,
Which she paddled down the stream,
Shouting, 'Ice produces cream,
Beer when churned produces butter!
Henceforth all the words I utter
Distant ages thus shall note -
'From the Jaypher Wisdom-Boat.''
Mrs Jaypher said, 'It's safer
If you've lemons in your head;
First to eat, a pound of meat,
And then to go at once to bed.
Eating meat is half the battle,
Till you hear the Lemons rattle!
If you don't, you'll always moan,
In a Lemoncolly tone;
For there's nothing half so dreadful,
as Lemons in your head.
poem by Edward Lear
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
If life deals you lemons, why not go kill someone with the lemons (maybe by shoving them down his throat)
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Lemon Sorrow
Have you ever tasted sorrow,
I think it taste like lemons,
If all feelings had a taste i think of lemons,
They can be sour then can get sweet,
Lemons sweet or sour then comes the sorrow taste,
Sorrow taste of rain,
Sorrow taste of lemons,
poem by Samantha Guinen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Lemon Or Orange Fruit?
Your highlights and shadows strong,
As always, you do no wrong!
Lemons? It could be,
Oranges? It can also be,
What I see is what it will be,
A basket of yellow citrus fruit,
I don't mean to be rude,
Please, Lemons or orange fruit?
Lemons
an married woman made love
to her lover
seven times last night
and she confessed her
sins to the parish priests
who after listening
said that as an act of
penance
she needs to take
seven lemons and squeeze
and then drink it at once
'what for is these lemons? ' she asked
'woman, it can wipe the smile
off your face! ' he answered.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
When Life Gives You Lemons
When Life Gives You Lemons
Shopping for a lemon and honey
For money can actually buy
At a Chinatown grocery store
The lemon acidity diminish phlegm
The honey to replenish sweetness lost
In conjunction with Chamomile Green Tea
To soothe my throat from this stupid lingering cough
When Life Gives You Lemons
I throw the lemons right back
For my lashing is the acidity squirted at malicious people
Their juice from the lemon is very weak
For the acid is deflected right back
Honey, I've got a lot more sweetness should malicious people throw acid at me
Yet attempt to destroy my sunshine as my uplifting spirit continues to be envied
Have a shot of Limoncello!
One Meat Ball
(l. singer-h.zaret)
The little man walked up and down
To find an eating place in town
He read the menu through and through
To see what fifteen cents could do
One meat ball, one meat ball
Well, he could afford but one meat ball
He told the waiter near at hand
A simple dinner he had planned
The guests were startled one and all to hear
That waiter loudly call
One meat ball, one meat ball
Well, this here gent wants one meat ball
Little man felt very bad
One meat ball was all he had
And in his dreams he hears that call
Ya gets no bread with one meat ball
One meat ball, one meat ball
Well, you get no bread with one meat ball
Well, he could afford but one meat ball
One meat ball, one meat ball
All he could afford was one meat ball
One meat ball
song performed by by Ry Cooder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Lemons Never Do Forget
Incident'ly there should some changes made.
You've got to work if you should have to save.
An apple is a fool but lemons never do forget.
You've got to play it cool before they come and throw the net.
Wait a while and straighten out the tie you wear.
You've got to take it easy if you dare.
An apple is a fool but lemons never do forget.
You've got to play it cool before they come and throw the net.
Don't be blind you've got a thinking mind.
Stop the bells that ring so loud.
Don't nod your head you'll draw a crowd.
Just think of ev'rything you've worked so hard to bring.
The lemon sings my song; He's known it all along.
Incident'ly there should be some changes made.
You've got to work if you should have to save.
An apple is a fool but lemons never do forget.
You've got to play it cool before they come and throw the net.
Don't be blind you've got a thinking mind.
Stop the bells that ring so loud.
Don't nod your head you'll draw a crowd.
Just think of ev'rything you've worked so hard to bring.
The lemon sings my song; He's known it all along.
Incident'ly there should be some changes made.
You've got to work if you should have to save.
An apple is a fool but lemons never do forget.
You've got to play it cool before they come and throw the net.
song performed by by Bee Gees from Horizontal
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Lemons Never Forget
Incident'ly there should some changes made.
You've got to work if you should have to save.
An apple is a fool but lemons never do forget.
You've got to play it cool before they come and throw the net.
Wait a while and straighten out the tie you wear.
You've got to take it easy if you dare.
An apple is a fool but lemons never do forget.
You've got to play it cool before they come and throw the net.
Don't be blind you've got a thinking mind.
Stop the bells that ring so loud.
Don't nod your head you'll draw a crowd.
Just think of ev'rything you've worked so hard to bring.
The lemon sings my song; He's known it all along.
Incident'ly there should be some changes made.
You've got to work if you should have to save.
An apple is a fool but lemons never do forget.
You've got to play it cool before they come and throw the net.
Don't be blind you've got a thinking mind.
Stop the bells that ring so loud.
Don't nod your head you'll draw a crowd.
Just think of ev'rything you've worked so hard to bring.
The lemon sings my song; He's known it all along.
Incident'ly there should be some changes made.
You've got to work if you should have to save.
An apple is a fool but lemons never do forget.
You've got to play it cool before they come and throw the net.
song performed by by Bee Gees
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
We live in a world where lemonade is made from aritificial flavoring and furniture polish is made from real lemons
Alfred E. Neuman in The Half-Wit and Wisdom of Alfred E. Neuman (MAD magazine)
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Lemons And Apples
Lemons and apples,
Come and show me your love;
For the rains have set in,
And i have no shelter on my head! !
But, with you, i will be very safe.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
4. A Merry Christmas
Gone shopping for good brandy butter
My homemade plum puddings in need
I don’t want a tin of rum sauce mix
It just wouldn’t do no indeed
Last night’s Christmas Eve rush was crazy
The shop had none left on the shelf
So I bought half a pound of best butter
To mix up with brandy myself
My mixer took brandy and butter
It churned the lot up to a paste
I drank what was left of the brandy
As I don’t like things going to waste
Everyone had a good dinner
With plenty of wine, port and sherry
But no one got fresh brandy butter
We all fell about slightly merry
poem by David Threadgold (2008)
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Happy Summer
Her branches reach across the yard
tall and proud from season's gone by
dangling the jewels of summer
bringing forth ripe, tart
beautifully yellow' d lemons
picked, they are, in morning's wee hours
as not to be drenched in afternoon's southern humidity
Each lemon is tenderly placed in the crate
they spring forth a mouthwatering, fresh perfume
they ooze sweetest oil from their pores
dimples cover the richness of their peels
summer is all about lemons
about fresh, homemade, full of pulp,
thirst quenching, pucker up lemonade.
Happy Summer!
Copyright @ 08/21/2010
poem by Diana Newsome
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I don't jog, if I die I want to be sick.
quote by Abe Lemons
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The Goat Crossing The Moat
The Capote is afloat beside the goat
Crossing the moat to read the note
And keep the quote in its throat
A tote does not vote that is what you wrote
So back to the rote eating the oat and
Smash the mote hidden on the boat
The seas bloat so you devote a bank note
For the seed coat of a wild oat
& scare quote for your strep throat
As Joseph's coat dote the eight note.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
quote by Abe Lemons
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
It was a hole in one contest and I had a three.
quote by Abe Lemons
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Damn referees, I'll miss them less than anybody.
quote by Abe Lemons
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
What Is It That You Like?
don't you like this sweetness
of my words?
you are bored with this sugar
and honey
and cream?
you are afraid you have become
sick of such
sweet tongue
such sweet indulgence?
oh, you want something bitter
something sour now?
some bitter herbs some sour
species of green lemons?
try me,
i am a bitter person
i am the latest delicacy of
all that is sour
and
decomposing.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I want to make lemonade out of the lemons that were dealt to me.
quote by Baron Hill
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!