It seemed to me that, somehow, the blue jay was trying to communicate with me. I would see him fly into the house across the way, pick up the telephone, and dial. My phone would ring, and it would be him, but it was just this squawking and cheeping. 'What What' I would yell back, but he never did speak English.
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Mr. Telephone Man
Mr. telephone man
There's something wrong with my line,
When i dial my baby's number
I get a click everytime
Mr. telephone man
There's something wrong with my line
When i dial my baby's number
I get a click every time
When i dial 611 computer service
She said "hello may i help you
Please?"
I told her something must be wrong
With my phone
Cause my baby wouldn't hang up
On me
Mr. telephone man
There something wrong with my line
When i dial my baby's number i get a
Click every time
Mr. telephone man
There something wrong with my line
When i dial my baby's number i get a
Click every time
She let the phone ring 20 times
Before she answered
Let me tell you what happened then
A minute later i got the operator
Saying please hang up and place
Your call agian
Mr. telephone man
There's something wrong with
My line
When i dial my baby's number
I get a click everytime
Mr. telephone man,
Soemthing's wrong with my line
I try to dial her number
I get a click everytime
Soem strange man is on the
Telephone
He keeps telling me my baby
Aint home
She got no party line
Situation blowing my mind
Oh, i just can't take this anymore
Please operator
See what you can do,
I dialed the right number
But i still couldn't get through
Could you just check the line
Just one more time if you can
I'm pretty sure her phone
Wouldn't be answered by no man
Mr. telephone man
There's something wrong with
My line
When i dial my baby's number
I get a click everytime
Mr. telephone man,
Soemthing's wrong with my line
I try to dial her number
I get a click everytime
Must be a bad connection
I give her my love and affection
I just can't take this no more
This situation blowing my mind
Blowing my mind
Can't get my baby on the line
I tried dialing information (mr. telephone man)
I can't get no coperation (mr. telephone man)
Her sister's on the phone telling me my baby
Aint at home
Come on baby i just can't take it no more
Help me out
Please mr. telephone man
Help me out
Please mr. telephone man
song performed by by New Edition
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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634-5789
(s. cropper/e. floyd)
Hey, baby, if you need a little lovin, call on me
And if you want some kissin, call on me, baby
No more lonely nights will you be alone
All you got to do is pick up your telephone
And dial 634-5789, 634-5789, 634-5789
cause thats my number, 634-5789, 634-5789
Hey, baby, if you need a little lovin, call on me
And if youre beggin me some good kissin, call on me
No more lonely nights, will you be alone
All you gotta do is pick up the telephone
And dial 634-5789, 634-5789, 634-5789
Thats my number, 634-5789
Call me baby, Ill be right there just as soon as I can (wait a minute)
And if I be just a bit little late, well, I hope that you understand
634-5789, 634-5789, 634-5789
Its not too late
634-5789, 634-5789
To call me on the phone, girl [call me, baby]
634-5789, 634-5789, (use a dime), 634-5789 (call me up, hey)
Dont lose my number
634-5789, 634-5789
Call me on the phone, girl
634-5789, 634-5789, 634-5789
Put your hands on the telephone
Call me on the telephone
Hey, call me baby
Dont loose my number
Thats my number
Call me right now
song performed by by Ry Cooder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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634-5789
(s. cropper, e. floyd)
Producer: john hudson
Albums: tina live in europe (88)
Live duet with robert cray
If you need some good loving
Call on me
And if you need some good hugging
Call on me baby
Ill be right here at home
All you gotta do is pick up the telephone and dial now
Six three four five seven eight nine
Thats my number
Six three four five seven eight nine
If you want some loving
Call on me
And if you want sweet hugging
Call on me baby
No more lonely nights will you be alone
All you gotta do is pick up the telephone and dial now
Six three four five seven eight nine
Thats my number
Six three four five seven eight nine
Ill be right there
Just as soon as I can
And if Ill be a little bit late
I hope you will understand
If you want some good loving
Call on me
If you need a good loving baby
Call on me baby
Oh Ill be right here at home
All you gotta do is pick up that telephone and dial now
Six three four five seven eight nine
Thats my number
Six three four five seven eight nine
Six three four five seven eight nine
song performed by by Tina Turner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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634-5789 (feat. Robert Cray)
(S. Cropper, E. Floyd)
Producer: John Hudson
Albums: Tina Live In Europe (88)
Live duet with Robert Cray
If you need some good loving
Call on me
And if you need some good hugging
Call on me baby
I'll be right here at home
All you gotta do is pick up the telephone and dial now
Six three four five seven eight nine
That's my number
Six three four five seven eight nine
If you want some loving
Call on me
And if you want sweet hugging
Call on me baby
No more lonely nights will you be alone
All you gotta do is pick up the telephone and dial now
Six three four five seven eight nine
That's my number
Six three four five seven eight nine
I'll be right there
Just as soon as I can
And if I'll be a little bit late
I hope you will understand
If you want some good loving
Call on me
If you need a good loving baby
Call on me baby
Oh I'll be right here at home
All you gotta do is pick up that telephone and dial now
Six three four five seven eight nine
That's my number
Six three four five seven eight nine
six three four five seven eight nine
song performed by by Tina Turner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Tiff
The Tiff.
All the games we play, I was busy when you called
had no time to speak to you
So when I rang you back you said you were busy
too and had no time to talk.
Then you will sit by the phone; wait for me to ring,
but hurt by your voice I will not ring before next day.
We will both have a bad night, angry and lonely.
So when I do ring you will say something sarcastic
and I will slam down the phone.
Sleepless night and tired days, something has to give.
So I pick up the phone tell you that I love you,
you say you love me too and the sun shines again.
Ah, the games we play, they call it love
poem by Oskar Hansen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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634-5789
If you need a little lovin, ya call on me
And if you want a little huggin, ya call on me baby, ooh yeah,
You can call me right here at home
All you got to do is pick up the telephone
And dial now (634-5789)
Whats my number (634-5789)
If you need a little huggin, ya call on me
And if ya want some kissin, ya call on me, its all right
No more lonely nights, wholl be alone now
All you got to do is pick up the telephone
And dial now (634-5789)
Thats my number (634-5789)
Oh, Ill be right there
Just as soon as I can
If I be a little bit late now
I hope that youll understand
And if ya need a little lovin, ya call on me, lord have mercy
And if ya want a little kissin, ya call up jonny b. baby, its all right
Aint no more lonely nights, well be alone now
All you got to do is pick up the telephone
And dial it (634-5789)
Thats my number (634-5789)
Hey (634-5789)
Thats my number (634-5789)
Oooh, hooo (634-5789)
Im runnin to ya baby, where I belong (634-5789)
Cause if you need me, want me, telle me that you love me (634-5789)
Anytime, anywhere, come on baby (634-5789)
Oooh hooo (634-5789)
(634-5789)
(634-5789)
song performed by by Bon Jovi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dial My Number
Rick astley
If you ever wake up feeling blue
You know theres always someone
Wholl be right here for you
If theres any little thing
Thats gonna get you down
Dont be afraid, Ill always be around
Pick up the phone
And dial my number
Thats all you have to do
Ill be over in a while
So just you hush now, child
Ill bring my love to you
Dial my number
Thats all you have to do
Just call me up, girl
And Ill make your dreams come true
If youre ever lonely and need some company
Dont ever hesitate if you wanna be with me
Pick up the phone
And dial my number
Thats all you have to do
Ill be over in a while
So just you hush now, child
Ill bring my love to you
Dial my number
Thats all you have to do
Just call me up, girl
And Ill make your dreams come true
Giving up my time for something that Ive heard
I need to hear those words Im in love
(instrumental)
Dial my number
Thats all you have to do
Just call me up, girl
And Ill make your dreams come true
cos I love you
I need you
I want you
Im so in love with you
Yes I love you
I need you
I want you
Im so in love with you
cos I love you
I need you
I want you
Im so in love with you
Yes I love you
I need you
I want you
Im so in love with you
Dial my number
Thats all you have to do
Just call me up, girl
And Ill make your dreams come true
If youre ever lonely and need some company
Dont ever hesitate if you wanna be with me
(choruses to fade)
song performed by by Rick Astley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Just A Phone Call
Should I call him
I should
I shouldn't
I should
I will call him
I can do it
No I can't
O come on cowgirl you can handle a bucking horse
But a little phone call scares you
Buck up already and call him
What’s the worst that can happen
Ok now dial the number
You have it memorized
I take a big breath
I dial the number but hang up right away
I try yet again I fail
The third time is the charm right
Ring...
Fire balls act like exploding volcano's go off in my stomach
Ring...
I almost hang up but it's too late
'Hello'
a woman answers the phone
'Hi uh... can I speak to Jayson? '
'Yes here he is'
I can’t breathe
My heart has stopped
What do I do now
Breath Becca breath
It’s just Jayson just Jayson
Nothing to worry about
Nothing at all
I think I'm going to faint
“Hello.” Jayson’s beautiful voice answers the phone
“Hi... um... how are you? ”
“Good... I actually wanted to talk to you Becca.”
“You... wanted to talk to... me? ”
Should I tell him
No he will think I’m a total looser
Should I tell him that I’m completely in love with him
We talk for what seamed for hours but really was only a few minutes
“Well I got to go Becca, it was nice talking to you again”
poem by Mrs. Cynosure
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Mr. Torture
Welcome to the torture chamber
said the sign above the entrance
laughinh as it taked you by the hand
Looking as i maniac savage
inside you can sense the anguish
theatre of pain has just begun
Mr.Torture gives pain
with his whips and his chains
he knows just what you crave
Mr. Torture
If youre feeling alone
then just pick up your phone
dial 18 double 0 Mr. Torture
Mr. Torture sells pain
Only sixty sents a minute
for his special brand of singing
phone guaranteed to blow your mind
You can catch him on a website
has a live chat every weeknight
cyber-torture soon coming your way
Mr Torture sells pain
to the houswives in Spain
he knows just what you crave
Mr Torture
If youre feeling alone
then just pick up your phone
dial 18 double 0 Mr. Torture
Mr Torture sells pain
Handcaffed,bounded,chained and blinded
body, soul and mind ignated
every sense is torn and ripped apart
Hes been banned in twenty countries
though he does it for money
he gets pleasure by hearing you scream
Mr. Torture gives pain
with his whips and his chaines
he knows just what you crave Mr. Torture
If youre feelin alone
then just pick up your phone
dial 18 double 0 Mr. Torture
Mr. Torture sells pain
song performed by by Helloween
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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634-5789
(steve cropper/eddie floyd)
If you need a little loving call on me
If you want a little hugging call on me
You know Ill be right here at home
All you got to do is pick up your telephone
And dial now 634-5789
634-5789
If you need a little kissing call on me
If good love is what youve been missing girl call on me
No more lonely nights will you be at home
All you got to do is pick up your telephone
And dial now 634-5789
634-5789
Ill be right there girl just as soon as I can
But if Im just a little bit late
I hope youll understand
Ill be right there baby just as soon as I can
But if Im just a little bit late
I hope youll understand
Call me at 634-5789
634-5789
song performed by by Trace Adkins
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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This is America: Better know English
America was once the magnificent place
Where all immigrants wanted to escape
So they illegally come here, as illegal aliens
Hiding in the back of our American vans
Now our schools and jobs require multiple languages
When we’re the Americans, we’re supposed to speak English!
And we do and just because they don’t
Doesn’t mean their language is a demand we should know
Don’t come to America if you don’t know the language
I’m just being realistic, I’m not being racist
Don’t put up store signs if they’re not readable
You’re in America; English is the main language you should know
Then they’re pissed because people won’t help out their business
But their forgetting us Americans don’t speak their language
We don’t go to Mexico demanding English classes
So why should they own the right to demand us Spanish?
I love the language, and everything BUT
THIS IS AMERICA look our history up!
Then tell me if French should be required
Where in the hell in the time line is that desired?
I know this is the land of opportunity, land of the free
But we should be able to communicate as human beings
And if that’s just too hard no one said they had to stay here
They can go back where they came from and speak in harmony there
I’m just a full blood American, as so the rest of my family
And like others, our language should be the first they’re demanding
We're tired of going to our fastfood restaurants to eat
When the orderer of our order can't even speak
And buyers, don't buy our house
If you can't even pronounce our street out
I'm tired of security going through all our private equipment
I'm an American, Bitch, do I look like a terrorist?
Honestly, you can come here if you want to be
Since this is the best place of opportunity
And we don’t care if you speak 20 different languages and love them
But this is AMERICA, ENGLISH better be one of them!
poem by Sugar Bear
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Full of excuses
I didn't telephone a.m.
as you'd be having breakfast then.
I didn't telephone at noon
for fear you might be lunching soon.
I didn't telephone p.m.
I thought you might be sleeping and
I didn't telephone at 8
for dinner in your house is late.
I didn't telephone at 9
for fear this may be T.V. time.
I didn't telephone today
as time just seemed to slip away.
No wonder that we never speak,
perhaps I'll try sometime next week?
poem by Ruth Walters
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Ring Ring
I was sitting by the phone
I was waiting all alone
Baby by myself I sit and wait and wonder about you
Its a dark and dreary night
Seems like nothings going right
Wont you tell me honey how can I go on here without you?
Yes Im down and feeling blue
And I dont know what to do, oh-oh
Ring, ring, why dont you give me a call?
Ring, ring, the happiest sound of them all
Ring, ring, I stare at the phone on the wall
And I sit all alone impatiently
Wont you please understand the need in me
So, ring, ring, why dont you give me a call?
So, ring, ring, why dont you give me a call?
You were here and now youre gone
Hey did I do something wrong?
I just cant believe that I could be so badly mistaken
Was it me or was it you?
Tell me, are we really through?
Wont you hear me cry and you will know that my heart is breaking
Please forgive and then forget
Or maybe darling better yet, oh-oh
Ring, ring, why dont you give me a call?
Ring, ring, the happiest sound of them all
Ring, ring, I stare at the phone on the wall
And I sit all alone impatiently
Wont you please understand the need in me
So, ring, ring, why dont you give me a call?
So, ring, ring, why dont you give me a call?
Oh-oh, ring, ring, why dont you give me a call?
So, ring, ring, why dont you give me a call?
song performed by by ABBA
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If Heaven has a Number
I pick up the phone, dial 0 for the operator
And ask if heaven has a number
Does heaven have a number because I need to speak to God to ask For his forgiveness?
Does heaven have a number, because I need to speak with my aunt To ask her does she feel better?
Does heaven have a number, because I need to speak with my aunt
To tell her I love her?
Does heaven have a number, because I need to speak with my aunt
To know if I will be accepted
As one of God's children?
Does heaven have a number, this at last I need to know because, I Need someone in my life who cares, who loves me for me, like my aunt
Did, because I am all alone on this big Earth
So...........
Does heaven have a number?
poem by Katrina Thompson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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In My Thoughts
You were in my thoughts as I lay sleeping
and I imagined you were in the room.
I knew very well that I was dreaming,
because you worked in the afternoon.
Nevertheless, I felt you touch the bed
with your leg as you passed by.
At the same time you hid your face,
but I could swear I heard you cry.
In my sleep I asked why you were crying,
and you turned with no trace of a tear.
You smiled and told me to go back to sleep
and have sweet dreams of having you near.
I continued to have erotic dreams about you
and how we made love night and day.
A cool breeze blew the curtain over your face
and it seemed to take you away.
The land line telephone rang and woke me,
and I immediately thought it was you.
I was so pleased to hear your voice,
but crying was all you could do.
The phone went to a maddening dial tone,
for some reason we were cut off.
I thought you may have run out of change,
or maybe you were just having a laugh.
I waited by the phone for you to ring again,
but for some reason you never did.
The police contacted me moments later saying
you had been killed by a hit and run kid.
poem by Orlando Belo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Hung Up On You
While I down Kentucky bourbon
I am waiting for a call
And the moon and stars tonight
Are playing shadows on the wall
With the moon the way it is, dear
Would you answer out of spite
Or are you feeling lonely tonight
Cause I remember last time
We were out under the stars
Driving crooked down the highway
Drinking beer in roadside bars
And now and then I wonder
Why this painful memory
Can never find its way to you from me
And I can't dial the phone just now
Even though I know your number
Can't bring my broken heart to be untrue
Like you did today
You'll say goodbye the same old way
Ever since you hung up on me
I'm hung up on you
Well the house I'm ringing up from
Is a half a mile from you
But with the reception I'm getting
Might as well be Timbuktu
And behind the door of your home
Is a strange and foreign land
Where you speak a language I don't understand
And I can't dial the phone just now
Even though I know your number
Can't bring my broken heart to be untrue
Like you did today
You'll say goodbye the same old way
Ever since you hung up on me
I'm hung up on you
Now I'm going down to Jimmy's bar
Like a thousand other times
With an appetite for poison
And a suitcase full of dimes
And I'll wait there by the payphone
With one hundred other guys
With those sorry hung-up teardrops in our eyes
And I can't dial the phone just now
Even though I know your number
Can't bring my broken heart to be untrue
Like you did today
You'll say goodbye the same old way
Ever since you hung up on me
I'm hung up on
song performed by by Fountains Of Wayne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Memory Of Telephone Calls
Are you waiting
for me to call.
All you will hear
is telephone silence.
Telephone silence
is a sound
I always hear.
I fear.
A telephone
is a hated thing
when it
does not ring.
And yet
so often
it has been
our only means
of communication.
The only means
by way of which
I could
communicate
with you.
Your letters
and cards
have given me
past
pleasure and joy.
But also
the sharp
separation
of long
or final goodbyes.
We often
spoke on
the telephone
later cell phones
because we
could not
come to
each others houses.
We could not
cross the threshold
of each others
doorsteps.
We could not
warm ourselves
by the hearthside
of each others company.
And now
the long cold
of winter separation
is upon us.
And now
the long chill
of bitter separation
has come again.
poem by Terence George Craddock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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God Help Me......My Sisters In Love.
Every Sunday night my sister gives me a call
She talks for hours and hours
About nothing at all
Monday my phone rings, an it’s real late
“I met this guy in a club, an he’s sooooo great”
Her voice goes on through the night
Still telling me about him until it gets light
Tuesday, she’s on the phone to me again
Her constant chatter, driving me insane
He’s this, he’s that…I got the story of his life
An like, how many times did she say ‘I wanna be his wife’
Wednesday it rings and I just wanna scream
Their now an item… “He’s such a dream”.
I know his favourite color, and what aftershave he wears
Oh, an hes got a friend who plays for the Chicago bears
Thursday, the phone is stuck to my ear
“You wanna speak to him, he’s right here”
Now I got this guy telling me about his car
The names of his buddies and his favourite bar
Friday I pull the cable from the wall
I don’t wanna another telephone call
For one night, that phone aint gonna ring
I wanna sit in silence, an not hear a damn thing
Saturday night I pick up the phone
He’s dumped her, an she’s all alone
I dash round to hold her tight
Snuggled in, she cries through the night
Like I say….
Every Sunday night my sister gives me a call
She talks for hours and hours
About nothing at all
But hey
What are sisters for?
poem by Donna Elouise James
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Phony Calls
Mom and dad are goin out for the evening
And youre stuck inside the house all alone
Thats when you decided it might be fun to harass someone
Dial a random number up on your telephone
You ask if their refrigerator is running
Then you tell em they should go out and catch it
Buddy, if they ever figured out where you were callin em from
Theyd come and bust your head right in with a ratchet
Listen to me
Dont go makin phony calls
Please stick to the seven-digit numbers youre used to
I know that you think its funny drivin folks up the wall
But its really gettin old fast
Little melvin has a natural obsession
Askin for prince albert in a can
He gets a kick each time he makes a collect call
To some guy he doesnt know who lives in japan
Hes callin strangers up at three in the morning
Gives em pizza pie delivery at four
He wont be laughin when theyre tracin his line
One day the phone police will be there at his door
Yo, hear me
Dont go makin phony calls
Only dial the seven-digit numbers youre used to
Swear someday Im gonna yank that phone cord right out from the wall
How long is this phase gonna last?
Come on
Moes bar, whatll ya eat, beat or drink?
Uh, yeah, hello, is mike there? last name rotch.
Hold on. Ill check. mike rotch! mike rotch! hey, has anybody seen mike rotch lately?
Listen to me, you little puke. one of these days, Im going to catch you, and Im going to carve my name on your back with an
Ice pick!
Dont go makin phony calls
Please stick to the seven-digit numbers youre used to
You went through the new york city phone book and prank called em all
Hope that you grow out of this fast
Dont go makin phony calls,
Please stick to the seven-digit numbers youre used to
Betcha think its funny when youre drivin folks right up the wall
But youre just a pain in the aaa....
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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yes, what if God does not speak english at all?
you were not born yesterday
and probably heard it before
that if your God does not speak english
then he must not be God
of course, something arrogant
hangs in the air
of this effortless superiority that
'englishers'
'english-plongplangs'
clai m, which, of course, we
always oppose and dub
as prettry dumb silly
but anyhow, yes, we are asked again
what if?
what if, this God, does not really speak English?
well, of course, he is still God
and he must not have considered the english language
that important
and i agree, even if i speak it,
i still have this language
of my soul,
albeit, in english, for you,
who does not speak my own language,
yes, of course, for you to perhaps
understand,
but i like it though, this thought
that God does not speak
the english language, lest, he may sound
so englishly, oh well,
arrogant.....
dear God
do you really...not speak english?
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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