I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.
quote by Robert Benchley

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The Ambulance that Got Away
When Grandpa suffered a turn, we
Called the ambulance, right away,
They strapped him onto a gurney
So he couldn't sit up, or sway,
‘We'll see you up at the hospital, '
We cried, as we waved him well,
The ambulance went with bells and lights
Like a demon bound for hell!
Grandma wasn't at home, we
Had to phone her on the cell,
She couldn't come back just then, she said
She was having a fainting spell,
So we waited until he was settled in
Then drove in a convoy down,
To the hospital at Ullarook,
Just fifty miles from town.
The nurse at the desk said: ‘No-one here
By the name of Alfred Groom,
We only have private patients here,
We bed them, one to a room,
If he hasn't got private cover, then
You'll have to look elsewhere,
Maybe the ambulance took him off
To the hospital at Bulnare.'
We phoned the hospital at Bulnare:
‘He hasn't been seen round here,
There was an ambulance, come to think,
But he left with a flea in his ear!
We don't take patients from out of town
There's few enough beds for us,
He's probably over at Gundacoot,
They run their own private bus.'
We drove ten miles to Gundacoot,
An ambulance sat in the drive,
We thought, ‘Thank God, he must be here!
Let's hope that he's still alive! '
We all raced in through the sliding doors
And crowded around the Nurse:
‘Who? Alfred Groom, in a private room?
Not here! ' We left with a curse!
We split up the convoy into two,
I drove to the nearest town,
A middling place called Jerribee
With a hospital, quite run down,
‘The government cut our funding, '
Said the Nurse in the parking bay,
‘We shut down twenty beds last week,
Your Dad isn't here today.'
My son had travelled the other way
To Inkermine on the coast,
The hospital there had a hundred beds
The locals were wont to boast,
‘He's isn't here, but the ambulance
Was spotted on leaving town, '
My son had sighed on his endless ride
When he called on the mobile phone.
That night when Grandma got her breath
She went to the ambulance place,
She battered him with her umbrella
Knocking his glasses clean off his face:
‘Where did you take him, tell me now
Or I'll have to call the police!
What? Are your ears painted on! '
‘We took him to Bungaleese! '
The only place that would take him was
The Medical Clinic there,
It isn't even a hospital
And you sit on a leather chair,
When we finally got to Bungaleese
Grandpa could barely talk,
We said, ‘We'll get you an ambulance! '
‘No thanks, ' he growled, ‘I'll walk! '
29 August 2012
poem by David Lewis Paget

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Are We Ill?
How many men are against us when we are ill?
Illness desires you as a last resort, when ill.
The magnificent and the abhorrent ailments
Need both cures, again and again in the hospital.
The hospital is for doctors who care,
And the nurses are fearful of you.
Patients need patience to adore the health
Of a nation in pity for their condition.
The pities are seldom seen in youth
As they are in public or private.
May the men who are against us be quiet
Now that illness is the past.
poem by Naveed Akram

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Best Sellers
‘Five steps to success! ’
‘Become a millionaire
In just ten days! ’
‘A complete repertoire
Of mind powers! ! ! ’
Juicy titles! !
People buy
Spilling dollars
Read them
And throw them
Publisher announces
“Million copies sold”
The author grins
“I told you
It's easy to find
A million fools”
poem by Sathya Narayana

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I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.
quote by Oscar Levant

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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08 Hospital - Hospitality
I visited Hospital for a check up on an orthopaedic operation I had a few years ago. This acrostic shows my observations.
H opelessness people straring so blankly
O rthopaedic - brittle bones - broken bones
S miling nurses giving reassurance
P atients - patience - porters - posteriors
In patients - out patients - impatience
T rollies with bodies - scalpels and tea
A nxious wait - X-ray and full body scan
L ets go before they amputate everything!
John Knight - 6 March 2011
poem by John Knight

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The Poet
The riches of the poet are equal to his poetry
His power is his left hand
It is idle weak and precious
His poverty is his wealth, a wealth which may destroy him
like Midas Because it is that laziness which is a form of impatience
And this he may be destroyed by the gold of the light
which never was
On land or sea.
He may be drunken to death, draining the casks of excess
That extreme form of success.
He may suffer Narcissus' destiny
Unable to live except with the image which is infatuation
Love, blind, adoring, overflowing
Unable to respond to anything which does not bring love
quickly or immediately.
...The poet must be innocent and ignorant
But he cannot be innocent since stupidity is not his strong
point
Therefore Cocteau said, "What would I not give
To have the poems of my youth withdrawn from
existence?
I would give to Satan my immortal soul."
This metaphor is wrong, for it is his immortal soul which
he wished to redeem,
Lifting it and sifting it, free and white, from the actuality of
youth's banality, vulgarity,
pomp and affectation of his early
works of poetry.
So too in the same way a Famous American Poet
When fame at last had come to him sought out the fifty copies
of his first book of poems which had been privately printed
by himself at his own expense.
He succeeded in securing 48 of the 50 copies, burned them
And learned then how the last copies were extant,
As the law of the land required, stashed away in the national capital,
at the Library of Congress.
Therefore he went to Washington, therefore he took out the last two
copies
Placed them in his pocket, planned to depart
Only to be halted and apprehended. Since he was the author,
Since they were his books and his property he was reproached
But forgiven. But the two copies were taken away from him
Thus setting a national precedent.
For neither amnesty nor forgiveness is bestowed upon poets, poetry and poems,
For William James, the lovable genius of Harvard
spoke the terrifying truth: "Your friends may forget, God
may forgive you, But the brain cells record
your acts for the rest of eternity."
What a terrifying thing to say!
This is the endless doom, without remedy, of poetry.
This is also the joy everlasting of poetry.
poem by Delmore Schwartz

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I am about to get involved with the biggest cancer hospital in Norway. They are building a fitness center to work with patients. I will be a consultant.
quote by Grete Waitz

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is not present then it must come from the works of any other author which happens to be handy and easily adapted.
quote by Robert Benchley

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Hospital Food
Coming down through the alley
Trying to walk without a sound
It doesnt really matter
cause there aint no one around
Tip toe through the alley and
Tip toe through your life
You still got it coming
Be it gun be it knife
Next thing you know
Youre eating hospital food
Karaoke castration
Take the wasp alive
Hes gonna sting you anyway
And take you to the hive
Yesterday was suckin and
Tomorrows looking bad
Who knew that today
Was the only thing I had
Hospital food
Want some hospital food
Hospital food
Delicious hospital food
In your tribute album to the world
You must never forget
To sing the one about the cat
Whos always getting wet
He always got a problem
Hes a very bitter dude
And now hes complaining
About his hospital food
Hospital food
Its gonna help the medicine go down
Want some hospital food
Gonna take a walk without a sound
A little hospital food
Helps the spoonful of sugar come up
I want some hospital food
In your blender and in my cup
song performed by by Eels

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Life is the most versatile thing under the sun; and in the pursuit of life and character the author who works in a groove works in blinkers.
quote by Laurence Housman

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When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.
quote by Matt Groening

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When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.
quote by Matt Groening

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None of Those Depictions
I watched my son clinically murdered.
And given experimental medications.
That's how 'this' hospital treated,
'Certain' patients then.
I am often asked,
By those who have not experienced such tasks...
Why do I seem to be cold, indifferent and embittered?
And...
I am none of those depictions.
God has blessed me with a patience to wait,
For those decisions implemented...
Only The Almighty can make!
I am often asked,
By those who have not experienced such tasks...
Why do I seem to be cold, indifferent and embittered?
I watched my son clinically murdered.
And given experimental medications.
That's how 'this' hospital treated,
'Certain' patients then.
And...
I am none of those depictions.
God has blessed me with a patience to wait,
For those decisions implemented...
Only The Almighty can make!
In Dedication:
Michael Lawrence Demetrius Pertillar
February 13th 1970-October 11th 1970
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Today, all patients accepted for treatment at St. Jude's are treated without regard for the family's ability to pay. Everything beyond what is covered by insurance is taken care of, and for those without insurance, all of the medical costs are absorbed by the hospital.
quote by Marlo Thomas

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Well, I think In Love and War, which had a wonderful performance by Sandy, Sandra Bullock, who the authorities and, the supposed authorities, in cinema didn't want to know about.
quote by Richard Attenborough

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I never appreciated 'positive heroes' in literature. They are almost always cliches, copies of copies, until the model is exhausted. I prefer perplexity, doubt, uncertainty, not just because it provides a more 'productive' literary raw material, but because that is the way we humans really are.
quote by Jose Saramago

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Old Dr. Valentine To His Son
Your hopeless patients will live,
Your healthy patients will die.
I have only this word to give:
Wonder, and find out why
poem by Ogden Nash

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Brazilian Cafe
Grey Hospital and a Brazilian Café.
The hotel where I stayed served lousy coffee, insipid and milky.
I knew there was a Brazilian café nearby, on my way there walked
past the closed down city hospital. Grey walls dripping of uncured
diseases, graffiti and dead windows. Convert it into an office block,
but who wants to work there, a place haunted by cynical doctors and
indifferent nurses who stalk the halls at night waiting for their shift
to end so they can get out from this place of horror, and patients
they have lost interest in and can do nothing for. Tear it down and
throw the debris down a gully. At the Brazilian café the coffee was
strong and healthy; the staff, young, moved as dancers to the music
in the background. There is much of Africa in the Brazilian soul,
passionate, courageous; yet, sometimes, viciously moody.
The girl who served me coffee, smiled with lips and eyes, her skin
dark, glowing… fit. And the sad hospital faded into oblivion.
poem by Oskar Hansen

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What About Us?
I have told you everything about myself and i am willing still to tell you more if you ask, if you are still hungry about what you want to know about me,
i am stupid, i am like a woman who spreads my legs to any man who want me in bed, but i can also be a very kind woman who opens my arms for every weary man,
i am not stupid, i am kind,
I reveales everything From a to z No secrets now From my family
No stone Left unturned No story Untold
If it makes You happy Or if it makes
You sad And you regret Having listened
I am sorry you ask for them so i give them all to you
like a basket of flowers and fruits,
(are you sick in the hospital why with these basket of flowers and fruits?)
I have done My duty As the messenger I have achieved
What was Left for me To do And It is all Enough i am happy now
The truth is Told and it Has set me free.
(The lies however keep on saying, what about us?)
poem by Ric S. Bastasa

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Copies
Duplicate, triplicate, quadruplicate!
I still have the original message to you all;
For i have created three works to satisfy my muse.
My breasts are very small in size,
But you will love me for what i am;
And like making a woman pregnant at the right time,
However, this original message is for you only.
The words from a wise man's mouth are very precious!
And wisdom gives light to those who have it;
So keep the first 10 cents from your Dollar to the Creator,
And the second 10 cents to the Bank!
Then enjoy the rest on the days ahead of you;
For, i am at the Donkey Island with my love.
Copies!
With many of them in this world to respect my muse;
But i am a woman and i need love from you,
Because, i do have the original message to satisfy all the copies around!
And, at the end of the day, be very wise to understand my muse.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis

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