See you later, alligator. After a while, crocodile.
quote by Bill Haley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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2010/08/05 Sweet Laughter
They looked up, Alligator and Crocodile,
and saw the most beautiful face smiling
at them, the lovely face of the rain queen
softly laughing, they heard the copper rings
clanging on the queen’s dancing feet, they
heard her sweet laughter within the weather’s
rumbling, she slowly advanced, spreading the
grey blanket of her life-giving veil, spun of clouds
thick and blue, building to purple and black, gone
was the sun, its fiery hue quenched by clouds
rolling on, and softly, mischievously, the rain
spread its mists as the rain queen danced
demurely at first, then wilder and wilder, more exciting,
enticing, Alligator and Crocodile joined in the dance, the
little folk of the plains, everyone, joined in the dance
hands clapping, feet drumming, voices lifted in song:
The rain is come, the rain is come, the rain queen is
here and listens to our song – The rain is come
Oh joy and love, joy and life, joy for evermore!
[Based on “The Dance of the Rain from Dwaalstories' by
Eugène N. Marias]
poem by Margaret Alice
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Bored with TV
Bennie bought a baby crocodile
and took it home in a carrier bag.
He let it roam about the house,
but the crocodile made him sad.
When they watched T.V. together
tears fell from the crocodile’s eyes.
He thought his friend was unhappy
and this made poor Bennie cry.
He carried it to the vet’s clinic
and told them about his fears.
They told him that it was natural
for crocodiles to shed tears.
Feeling relieved and much happier
they sat to watch T.V. again.
The crocodile went to the bathroom
and flushed himself down the drain.
poem by Orlando Belo
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The Purist
I give you now Professor Twist,
A conscientious scientist,
Trustees exclaimed, "He never bungles!"
And sent him off to distant jungles.
Camped on a tropic riverside,
One day he missed his loving bride.
She had, the guide informed him later,
Been eaten by an alligator.
Professor Twist could not but smile.
"You mean," he said, "a crocodile."
poem by Ogden Nash
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All Beguiling
The crocodile is smiling,
life is all beguiling while
reading the true story of
the greatest cataclysm to
shape our civilization
Moses, Tutankhamun and
The Atlantis Myth, told in
ACT OF GOD by Graham
Phillips - crocodile in pink
with magic wand in purple
On the crocodile computer,
affixed to the screen; purple
fairy wings bewitching the
rest of the office also
This is a day of magic, the
crocodile found a book on
the crumbling foundations
that shook our civilization…
Graham Phillips “ACT OF GOD” 1998 Pan Books
poem by Margaret Alice
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Crocodile's Toothache
Oh the Crocodile
Went to the dentist
And sat down in the chair,
And the dentist said, 'Now tell me, sir,
Why does it hurt and where?'
And the Crocodile said, 'I'll tell you the truth.
I have a terrible ache in my tooth.'
And he opened his jaws so wide, so wide,
That the dentist he climbed right inside,
And the dentist laughed, 'Oh, isn't this fun?'
As he pulled the teeth out, one by one.
And the Crocodile cried, 'You're hurting me so!
Please put down your pliers and let me go.'
But the dentist just laughed with a Ho Ho Ho,
And he said, 'I still have twelve to go --
Oops, that's the wrong one, I confess.
But what's one crocodile's tooth, more or less?'
Then suddenly the jaws went snap,
And the dentist was gone right off the map.
And where he went one could only guess...
To North or South or East or West...
He left no forwarding address.
But what's one dentist more or less?
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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Stressed Out
too many thoughts come rushing
each wanting a peculiar treatment
one wants to be a syllable dressed
in the blackness of the
lonely night
while the other wants to be a clause
without a comma
hating the period
it wants to be a mouth open
like the crocodile silent on the bank
of the river
waiting for a fly who is lost along its
riveted ways
wishing to swallow a dropp of the
bucket realities
of course there is this sentence
without a thought of its own
the penalty
that not any of you bothers whether
mankind which suffers
i know
deserves to kill that lost fly in the mouth of this
alligator society.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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I put a bullet into the back of the crocodile's neck just behind the head, thus killing it. If a crocodile is hit in any other part of its anatomy it disappears into the water and is irrecoverable.
quote by Louis Leakey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Amos Moses
Amos Moses was a Cajun.
And lived by himself in the swamp
Hunting alligator for a living.
Knock 'em on the head with a stump
The Louisiana law's gonna get you, Amos
It ain't legal hunting alligator down in the swamp, boy
Now everybody blamed his old man
for raising him mean as a snake
When Amos Moses was a boy,
his Daddy would use him as alligator bait
Tie a rope around his waist,
throw him in the swamp
Alligator bait on the Louisiana bayou
Just about 45 minutes
southeast of Tipidow, Louisiana
There lived a man called Duck Bill Sam
and his pretty wife Hannah
They raised up a son that could
eat up his weight in groceries
Named him after a man of the cloth.
They called him Amos Moses
Now folks in South Louisiana
said Amos was a helluva man
He could trap the biggest, meanest alligator.
He only had to use one hand
That's all he got left
'cause the alligator bit him. Ha ha!
Left arm gone clean up to the elbow
Just about 45 minutes
southeast of Tipidow, Louisiana
There lived a man called Duck Bill Sam
and his pretty wife Hannah
They raised up a son that could
eat up his weight in groceries
Named him after a man of the cloth.
They called him Amos Moses
Here comes Amos
And you should have seen his pretty wife, Hannah
Well, the Sheriff got wind that
Amos was in the swamp hunting alligator skin
So he hid in the swamp, I'm gonna get you boy.
He never did come out again.
Well, I wonder where the Louisiana Sheriff went to?
Sure can get lost in the Louisiana bayou (3X)
song performed by by Primus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cutting Edge
The cutting edge and the modelling queens,
A lover's leap over the alligator's pond is what i see!
But try not to pollute the nation with dirty tricks.
Be very prepared in life always and do what is right,
And with honesty and responsibility;
But a lover's leap over the alligator's pond is what i see.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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On The Blackberry Tree
On the black-berry tree
I have left my lungs and heart
On crocodile's back
When I started my journey
in to the sea.
I have not show my
Disregard to anybody
Surrounded me
And my co-villagers
All support me
And the crocodile
Never seen as before.
poem by Gajanan Mishra
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Crocodile
Crocodile
No you wont make me jealous
That she left me for him
Scene one standing
Crushed on landing
You may have walked out
But Ill swallow up my fate
Scene two sitting
Man in kitchen
Bit cold and lifeless like
The burger on my plate
But theres one emotion Im afraid of
Hear him scratching gently to be fed
I cant stand it when he sits there smiling
I dont want him nesting in my head
Crocodile
No you wont make me jealous
That she left me for him
Get away
Crocodile
No you wont make me jealous
Im not letting you in
Scene three lying (through his backteeth)
Speared and dying (bitten beneath)
Ill crawl the wall to hand there
Skinned and stuffed with drink
But theres one emotion Im controlling
Green eyed monster with his jaws spread wide
(but hes your pet now
You cant run away and hide)
I cant stand it when he sits there crying
I dont want to throw myself inside
Crocodile
Getaway
(crocodile
With the jaded jealous smile)
song performed by by Xtc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Albin the Aardvark
In Albany abides an aardvark, Albin. Albin is an albino animal. All around Albin's abode, abound the almighty ants. Another animal abiding alongside Albin's abode is Algie the alligator. He's an animal alligator. Almost all afternoon Albin the aardvark ambles up and down the alley always alert. Almost all afternoon Algie the alligator is asleep in the alley. One afternoon, Albin the aardvark ambles alongside and awakes Algie. 'Al! Any appetite? ' 'Auuuuuuugh! , ' answers Algie, 'Awful appetite.' After ambling around, Albin goes abed and is asleep. Algie is also asleep with an awful appetite. What do you think Algie the Alligator could eat with the awful appetite? (Algie can only eat things that start with 'A'. Help me out. I can only think of 8.) . I don't know if this is considered a poem or not. Help me out.
poem by Ben Gieske
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Alligator
Sleepy alligator in the noon day sun,
Lyin by the river just like he usually done.
Call for his whiskey, he can call for his tea,
Call all he want to, but he cant call for me.
Oh no! Ive been there before,
And I aint gonna come around here any more.
Creepy alligator coming all around the bend,
Shoutin about the times when we was mutual friends,
I checked my memory and I checked it quick, yes I will.
I checked it runnin some old kind of trick.
Oh no! well Ive been there before,
And I aint gonna come around here any more.
Sailin down the river in an old canoe,
A bunch of and an old tennis shoe.
Out of the river all ugly and green,
Came the biggest old alligator that Ive ever seen!
Teeth big and pointy and his eyes were buggin out,
Contracted the union, put the beggars to rout.
Screamin and yellin, he was pickin his chops,
He never runs he just stumbles and hops.
Just out of prison on ten dollars bail,
Mumblin bitches and waggin his tail.
song performed by by Grateful Dead
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Toad And The Crocodile
“Good morning, ” said Toad, as she rested on a lily pad burping bubbles.
“Good morning, ” said Crocodile, looking disturbed and troubled.
“I don’t suppose, ” said Toad “that you saw two toads pass by this way? ”
“Let me think…” said Crocodile “oh yes, I saw them earlier today.”
A tear rolled down the cheek of the crocodile and splashed into the pond.
“Why are you crying Crocodile, what could’ve possibly gone wrong? ”
“I’m sorry, ” said Crocodile, “I’m an emotional old crocodile and often cry.”
“What a shame, ” said Toad, “you say my husband and daughter passed by? ”
“Oh… I didn’t realise they were your family, they were so nice,
I gave them a helping hand and some very good advice.”
“Thanks for your time and trouble; you’re a very considerate crocodile,
so unlike the ones I’ve heard about that live in the Nile.
Can you remember which direction they went, ” said Toad full of hope.
“I can, ” said Crocodile, “they slid down a very slippery slope.”
“But did they seem alright, I mean did they look safe and well? ”
“Yes they did, but I don’t really know, it was hard to tell.”
“Why do you say that, is there something that you’re not telling me? ”
“I’m sorry you’re quite right, I shouldn’t keep you from your family.
When they asked for help they were being chased by a ferocious lion,
so I suggested that they came aboard and hid until it had gone.”
“Wonderful, so where are they now? ” She said with a puzzled stare.
“Why, they’re having tea with everyone else that’s hiding in there.”
“Would it be possible to speak with them before I burst into tears? ”
“Of course I’ll open my mouth, so you can tell them you’re here.”
She shouted their names, as the crocodile’s mouth opened wider and wider.
“They’re not coming, ” said Crocodile; “they’re enjoying the cakes and cider.”
Toad began to cry, which made her burp louder, as she sadly walked away.
“Where are you going, ” said the crocodile, “your family is not here to stay.
Would you like to come aboard and join in with the others having a good time?
Come on Toad, I’ll open the doors; hurry now before I change my mind.”
Toad cautiously hopped forward and took a giant leap down the crocodiles throat,
she landed in a dark place where she heard noises and two other toads croak.
“Is that you husband” she said, “why didn’t you come out when I shouted you? ”
“The crocodile wouldn’t open the doors, ” he said “what more could I do? ”
“Well, we can’t just sit here and do nothing we’ve got to try and jump free,
let’s hope we can burp enough to give him wind; come on, on my count of three.”
For ages the toads burped and jumped about trying to fill the crocodile with air,
then a rumbling turned into an eruption and they were burped out of there.
Before the crocodile had noticed the toads were sitting a safe distance away,
“Hello friend crocodile, ” said mother toad, “we’re sorry we couldn’t stay.”
poem by Orlando Belo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My Childhood Fantasy
The Ichthyosaurus became the Dolpin and the Plesiosaurus became the Penguin,
The Kronosaurus became the Turtle and the Nodosaurus became the Tortoise,
The Mosasaurus became the Alligator and the Euoplocephalus became the Crocodile,
The Archaeopteryx became the Parrot and the Quetzacoatlus became the Pelican,
The Pteranodon became the Eagle and the Dimorphodon became the Owl,
The Elasmosaurus became the Snake and the Coelophysis became the Lizard,
The Cearadactylus became the Bat and the Eudimorphodon became the Hawk,
The Styracosaurus became the Rhino and the Cetiosarus became the Elephant,
The Ankylosaurus became the Porcupine and the Triceratops became the Buffalo,
The Argentinosarus became the Zebra and the Edomtosaurus became the Tiger,
The Rhamphorhynchus became the Dove and the Pterodactylus became the Raven,
The Diplodocus became the Camel and the Deinonychus became the Donkey,
And this was yester-year which became part of my childhood fantasy;
So learn more about some of the names of the Dinosaurs.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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Life Becomes An Experience Of Wild Delight
I’m convinced that the karma I have to carry,
laid upon me by the Western heritage while
being born in Africa, where maize is the staple
and I’m allergic up to suffocating; is the result
of negative levels of consciousness inherited
from many previous lifetimes living in abject
misery – now is my chance to raise the vibrations –
this crocodile-mind driving me to seek knowledge
and information at the speed of a Grand Prix,
might help to raise my state of consciousness
From its normal level of three, where life seems
meaningless, through level four where life seems
futile at times, to level five with its bubbly feeling
of happiness; and level six – the magical state where
life becomes an experience of wild delight - I have
to acquiesce to the Nile-Crocodile and its anti-social
demands; when Alice wants to go out and socialize;
when Cinderella dreams of beautiful gowns, pumpkin
coaches and footmen; the Nile-Crocodile simply
says no; when the little Alien comes down
From the rafters and demands to have some fun -
the Nile-Crocodile threatens to eat him; the crocodile
mind insists upon seeing the physical world as a
wooden illusion of Maya; saying that masked people
playing charades are wearying beyond expression;
that a good book is the only thing between the
crocodile mind and reptilian suicide...
poem by Margaret Alice
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Buy Me A Condo
Gonna buy me a condo
Gonna buy me a cuisinart
Get a wall-to-wall carpeting
Get a wallet full o credit cards
I gonna buy me a condo, never have to mow de lawn
I gonna get me da t-shirt wit de alligator on
Wo, used to live in jamaica but I dont live dere no more
Had to change me lifestyle
Do tings I never done before
So now Im just a lonely rastaman
Living in dis american town
Gonna sell me bob marley records
Gonna get me some jackson browne
I gonna buy me a condo
Gonna buy me a cuisinart
Get a wall-to-wall carpeting
And get a wallet full o credit cards, eh
I gonna buy me a condo, never have to mow de lawn
I gonna get me da t-shirt wit de alligator on
Wo, gonna cut off me dreadlocks
Trow away all me ganja
Ill have a tupperware party
Maybe join me a health spa
Ill get a bowl of plastic fruits
And a microwave oven, too
Then Ill have the neighbors over for a weenie barbeque
Gonna buy me a condo
Gonna buy me a cuisinart
Get a wall-to-wall carpeting
Get a wallet full o credit cards, oh
I gonna buy me a condo, never have to mow de lawn
I get a funny little t-shirt wit de alligator on
Aint gonna work in de field no more
Gonna be amway distributor
Aint gonna work in de field no more (no, no)
Gonna be amway distributor
(ja) ja, ja, ja, life is so very hard
I need a (ja) ja, ja, ja jacuzi in me back yard
Oh, I gonna buy me a condo
Gonna buy me a cuisinart
Get a wall-to-wall carpeting
Get a wallet full o credit cards, eh
I gonna buy me a condo, never have to mow de lawn
I gonna get me da t-shirt wit de alligator on
Whatd you say?
I gonna buy me a condo
I gonna buy me a cuisinart
Get a wall-to-wall carpeting
Get a wallet full o credit cards, oh
I gonna buy me a condo, never have to mow de lawn
I gonna get me da t-shirt wit de alligator on
Whatd you say?
I gonna buy me a condo
Gonna buy me a cuisinart
Get a wall-to-wall carpeting
And get a wallet full o credit cards, oh
I gonna buy me a condo, never have to mow de lawn
I gonna get me da t-shirt wit de alligator on
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Kenny The Crocodile
A crocodile that lived with many
who everyone knew as Kenny
was shunned by all the others
including his sisters and brothers.
Now Kenny was not one to really care
that his natural stench filled the air.
He thought it totally unnecessary and futile
that they should shun a brother crocodile.
He was forced to leave the muddy pool,
by the long nosed elders who did rule.
After walking and jogging for several days
he rested in the jungle and began to laze.
A keen eyed crocodile hunter close by
espied Kenny out of his one good eye.
He took careful aim and fired his rifle,
expecting Kenny to get an eyeful.
But Kenny rolled over towards the sun,
as the hunter again fired his gun.
He missed again as Kenny charged
at the hunter and his entourage.
Alas poor Kenny fell for a very old trick
and plunged into the hunter’s pit.
When soundly dead the natives jumped in
and relieved him of his valuable skin.
All over the world his patterned skin is bought
by those who give him not a thought.
I wonder if he thought, was it really worthwhile
being born a smelly crocodile.
poem by Orlando Belo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Confidence boosts
A dog barks when it is in its yard.
An elephant fights a crocodile on land.
A crocodile fights an elephant in sea.
A team plays well in its home ground.
One gathers strength in the uniform.
What they feel and with what spirit they act
Is confidence. Confidence is the faith
One has from the counted advantages.
26.06.2011
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dog Eats Dog
The crocodile attacks the elephant and the jaguar attacks the crocodile!
And this game of dog eats dog torture goes on in this world;
But the power-girls and the power-boys are about to learn from my muse.
God, dog, bog, log, cog, fog, tog, hog, jog, wog!
And of dowries and gifts;
But let me find humour in your eyes,
For this world is very deceitful and defiled all around us today.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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