No seriously... when there's families, you tend to go back to your room after the gig rather than go for a drink with the other guys. But there's always someone who's got something going, like the tour manager.
quote by Phil Collins
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
Just One Drink.
He knew that if he had
just the one drink
that he'd be back
on the wagon again
back to the shut up room
and dead head
and stinking bed
and the woman off again
and the door slamming
and her voice echoing
up the from the hall
as her footsteps faded
come on
the guys said
just the one shot
but no he had to stay strong
keep the booze away
from hand and lips
and hey Joey come on
just a drink with me huh?
one lousy drink with a pal
whose lady's left him
for some other guy
no
he said
I can't have one drink
I don't do one drinks
I got to stay strong
got to look at the big picture
so his friend said
shrew you Joey
I'll find others
who'll drink with me
and off he went
and Joey sipped his lemonade
and looked at the bottles
behind the bar
looking back him
saying silently
ha ha ha.
poem by Terry Collett
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
You can't always wait for the guys at the top. Every manager at every level in the organization has an opportunity, big or small, to do something. Every manager's got some sphere of autonomy. Don't pass the buck up the line.
quote by Bob Anderson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Drink!
Ill take back my pinata its wasted on you
Just spinning that pool cue all over the room
And give back the blindfold thats under your shoe
Lets drink, drink this town is so great
Drink, drink cuz its never too late
To drink, drink to no big surprise
But what words rhyme with buried alive
What words rhyme with buried alive
You could be a float for the 4th of july
Based on your theme of wallflowers grown wild
Look thru your peephole, youve won every prize
Lets drink, drink this town is so great
Drink, drink cuz its never too late
To drink, drink to no big surprise
But what words rhyme with buried alive
What words rhyme with buried alive
In your monkey suit on a cigarette break
The lunchtime crowd, they wont even blink
But youd be sad if they did
But youll be sad...
Lets drink, drink this town is so great
Drink, drink cuz its never too late
To drink, drink to no big surprise
But what words rhyme with buried alive
What words rhyme with buried alive
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Lies About Tall Guys
Just seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys seem to get executive jobs
Shorter guys work mostly as clerks
Taller guys never seem to be slobs
Shorter guys always seem to be jerks
Taller guys seem to get all of the action
Shorter guys seem to be quite invisible
Taller guys always seem to deserve satisfaction
Shorter guys are lonely and miserable
Just seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys just seem born to play sports
Shorter guys kinda seem to like tennis
Taller guys certainly look better in shorts
Shorter guys look like Dennis the Menace
Taller guys are usually at the top of their class
Shorter guys seem to fail quite a lot
Taller guys always seem to kick ass
Shorter guys want to, but simply cannot
sure seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys get better grades and such
Shorter guys seem to barely scrape by
Taller guys seem to do better, pretty much
Shorter guys always wonder why
Taller guys seem to have eyes like a hawk
Shorter guys seem to wear glasses a lot
Taller guys cover more ground when they walk
Shorter guys, to keep up, have to trot
Sure seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys and their friends look like N.B.A players
Shorter guys look more like cheerleaders
Taller guys seem to look like dragon slayers
Shorter guys look a lot more like bleeders
Taller guys seem to have more gear to protect
Shorter guys wear more protective gear
Taller guys, more confidence seem to project
Shorter guys have less confidence, more fear
Really seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys appeal to the female gender
Shorter guys always seem to choke
Taller guys carry a lot more legal tender
Shorter guys always seem to be broke
Taller guys seem to drive high dollar cars
Shorter guys drive toyotas
Taller guys seem to reach for the stars
Shorter guys reach for diet sodas
Taller guys are obnoxious, let’s neuter them all
Shorter guys are great people, always a delight
Taller guys are an abomination against mother nature’s law
If you think I’m a short guy….well, you’re right!
Really seems like the way it should be
poem by David Whalen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Rock Boyz, Rock
Junk food, radio, all the news and nowhere to go
Tv guide and the late late show I stayed late, I didnt know
Hold on you got me coming like a shot now from a gun
I said hold on, Im your hero, x rated #1
Tough boys, hot boyz, come on baby feel the noise
Tough guys rough guys no room for a compromise
Shifting metal, six string steel gonna move you like a (------)
Fire it up feel the pain Im gonna hit you like a runaway train
Rock boys hot boys come on baby feel the noise
Tough boys, rough boys, no room for a compromise
Rock boyz, hot boyz, Im gonna give you some bad bad noise
Tough guys rough guys no room for a compromise
Instrumental
Rock boys, hot boys, gonna give you some bad bad noise
Tough guys rough guys no room for a compromise
Rock boys, hot boyz, gonna move you with some bad bad noise
Tough guys rough guys youre in trouble well supervise
Rock boys rock rock boyz rock rock boyz rock rock boy rock
Rock boyz, hot boyz, come on baby and feel the noise
Tough guys, rough guys, gonna give you some bad bad noise
Rock boys hot boyz rock boyz rock tough buys rough guys rock boyz rock
Right between the eyes
song performed by by Ufo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
We had gone out on the road in 94 and 95 for a three month American tour, and we realised, as did our manager and booking agent at the time, that we have really exhausted it, and we can't make money at this anymore.
quote by Steve Brown
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Sabu Visits The Twin Cities Alone
The movie wasnt really doing so hot
Said the new producer to the old big shot
Its dying on the edge of the great midwest
Sabu must tour or forever rest.
Hey look ma
Here comes the elephant boy
Bundled all up in his corduroy
Headed down south towards illinois
From the jungles of east st. paul.
His manager sat in the office alone
Staring at the numbers on the telephone
Wondering how a man could send a child actor
To visit in the land of the wind chill factor.
Sabu was sad the whole tour stunk
The airlines lost the elephants trunk
The roadie got the rabies and the scabies and the flu
They was low on morale but they was high on.
song performed by by John Prine
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Down The Dolce Vita
hey mac, see you down the dolce vita!
get back, we dont have time
cos I hear were sending off the heroes
When the year goes, theyre out of the bay,
Trying to find a way
To make it alive
so long said poor men to their families,
Be strong til we get back home.
And if not, take care of all the children
Until then just hope and pray
Were gonna find a way
To make it alive
you guys are crazy
They shout and then we leave the harbour.
In doubt, theyre acting wierd
And the sea is whipping up a welcome
If hell come were all easy prey,
Trying to find a way
To make it alive
you guys are crazy
The captains hand shook for the guys to get in place
He said, lets look behind your face.
With each corner covered, they were all around
Waiting for the midnight bell to sound
out of sight, cried aeron through his glasses
dont fight said gorhams smioulder
I was scared of being easy prey,
Trying to find a way
To make it alive
song performed by by Peter Gabriel
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
My Own Summer (live)
So this is the last treat of the night coming up right here
This is a song, this is a tour actually, this is the first time we've played this song on tour
I'll spit it out eventually
Anybody like the Deftones?
Got any Deftones' fans in the house?
Put em' up if you are
Let me see you if you know the words to this sh*t and i'll come down and sing it with you
Hey you, big star, guide me when it's over
Hey you, big mood, guide me to shelter
'Cause I'm through, when the two hits the six and it's summer
Cloud, come
Shove
The sun
Aside
I think God is moving his tongue
There's no crowds in the streets
And no sun
In my own summer
You guys feeling that?
Who can help me with this sh*t, can you?
Can you help me with this sh*t?
Stay right here, stay right here
Hey you..
Stay right here
Come on
Yo, yo
What the f*ck is going on?
Yea, bring him over here
Allright bro, we gonna teach these mother f*ckers this sh*t, ok?
You guys gonna help us out right now?
Allright you guys
Chester, when you're ready bud
The shade is a tool, a device, a savior
See, I try
(You better watch out)
And look up
(Where?)
To the sky
(Why?)
But my eyes burn
Cloud, come
Shove it, shove it, shove it
Shove
Shove it
The sun
Aside
Cloud, come
Shove it, shove it, shove it
Shove
Shove it, shove it, shove it
The sun
Shove it, shove it, shove it
Aside
I think God is moving his tongue
There's no crowds in the streets
And no sun
In my own summer
song performed by by Linkin Park
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Five Guys Named Moe
I gotta tell you a story from way back
Truck on down and dig me jack
Theres big moe, little moe, four-eyed moe, no moe,
Look at brother, look at brother, look at brother eat moe
Moe, moe, moe, moe, moe, moe, moe
Whos the greatest band around
Makes the cats jump up and down
Whos the talk of rhythm town
Five guys named moe
When they start to beat it out
Everybody jump and shout
Tell me who do the critics rave about
Five guys named moe
They came out of nowhere
But that dont mean a thing
They rate high and youll know why
When you hear them sing
High brow, low brow, all agree
Theyre the best in harmony
Im telling you folks you just got to see
Five guys named moe
Theres big moe...
Little moe...
One guy... big moe
Two guys... little big moe
Three guys... four-eyed moe
Four guys... no moe
Five guys... eat moe
Five little guys named moe
song performed by by Joe Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks
If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter
My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be
Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
Scoring with a super model would be easy
Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonomous with 'super dumb'
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes
The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean
See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like this
And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway
And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
And I don't shave my heiny
Don't shave my heiny
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
song performed by by Bloodhound Gang from One Fierce Beer Coaster
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
But it was great, we sit in the same dressing room where, like, Johnny Cash sat and Willie Nelson and all those guys. That was in itself something amazing - I was on the same space these guys stood on, ya know?
Magical Mystery Tour
(LennonMcCartney)
[Roll up! Roll up for the magical mystery tour!
Step right this way!]
Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour
Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour
Roll up (And that's an invitation), roll up for the mystery tour
Roll up (To make a reservation), roll up for the mystery tour
The magical mystery tour is waiting to take you away
Waiting to take you away
Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour
Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour
Roll up (We've got everything you need), roll up for the mystery tour
Roll up (Satisfaction guaranteed), roll up for the mystery tour
The magical mystery tour is hoping to take you away
Hoping to take you away
Mystery trip
Aaaah... the magical mystery tour
Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour
Roll up (And that's an invitation), roll up for the mystery tour
Roll up (To make a reservation), roll up for the mystery tour
The magical mystery tour is coming to take you away
Coming to take you away
The magical mystery tour is dying to take you away
Dying to take you away, take you today
song performed by by Paul McCartney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The other guys drink, but they don't drink anywhere near what I used to. And I think they're slightly respectful of the fact that I'm off it, so it's not a problem.
quote by Graham Coxon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had.
quote by David Beckham
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Dead Guy Stickers
In the USA,
They want to put dead guy pictures on cigarette packs.
With that brilliant logic in mind, I say put dead guy stickers on:
car windshields(dead guys in wrecks)
pistol and rifle handles (dead guys shot)
marriage licenses (dead spouses)
hamburger and hot dog wrappers (dead fat guys)
pies, cakes (more dead fat guys)
bathroom doors (thousands of dead guys in bathrooms every year)
bicycles (road kill dead guys)
fire places (burnt dead guys)
swimming pools (drown dead guys)
every electrical outlet (fried dead guys)
air plane tickets (dead passenger guys)
the beach (shark bit dead guys)
cities (shot dead guys)
air (blue dead guys)
fish (poisoned dead guys)
motorcycles (more road kill dead guys)
scarfs (strangled dead guys)
football helmets (brain dead guys)
hot tubs (more drowned dead guys)
and so on.
Just about everything can kill you, such as:
Mothers (dead baby guys plus dead fathers)
Fathers (dead baby guys plus dead mothers)
Police(multiple dead guys and chicks)
Drugs (multiple dead guys and chicks)
and so on.
Once everything has a dead guy sticker on it,
You've been warned and the world will be safer, right?
It shows we care, right?
poem by Richard Jarboe
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The End Of The Tour
Theres a girl with a crown and a scepter
Whos on wlsd
And she says that the scene isnt what its been
And shes thinking of going home
That its old and its totally over now
And its old and its over, its over now
And its over, its over, its over now
I can see myself
At the end of the tour
When the road disappears
If theres any more people around
When the tour runs aground
And if youre still around
Then well meet at the end of the tour
The engagements are booked through the end of the world
So well meet at the end of the tour
Never to part since the day we met
Out on interstate 91
I was bent metal you were a flaming wreck
When we kissed at the overpass
I was sailing along with the people
Driving themselves to distraction inside me
Then came a knock on the door which was odd
And the picture abruptly changed
At the end of the tour
When the road disappears
If theres any more people around
When the tour runs aground
And if youre still around
Then well meet at the end of the tour
The engagements are booked through the end of the world
So well meet at the end of the tour
This was the vehicle these were the people
You opened the door and expelled all the people
This was the vehicle these were the people
You opened the door and expelled all the people
This was the vehicle these were the people
You let them go
At the end of the tour
When the road disappears
If theres any more people around
When the tour runs aground
And if youre still around
Then well meet at the end of the tour
The engagements are booked through the end of the world
So well meet at the end of the tour
And were never gonna tour again
No, were never gonna tour again
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Helping
He returned an hour too late,
This was with the manager;
He returned so late to agitate,
But the manager was sloppier.
To help him we do not help,
The help from the manager was great
As the fellow began to yelp,
These men discovered how to compensate.
Helping is the winning, like sport,
That this aid is greater than an escort;
We help only in times of trouble
For they need our dangers governable.
poem by Naveed Akram
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
You can ask anybody in the room. My numbers are the worst in here but I'm still a jerk to everybody, yelling at everybody, getting them going. Once I get it back, then I'll be even worse to the guys.
quote by Billy Koch
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
When the war was over and the guys were back to shaving every day, the editor thought the Beetle Bailey strips were hurting their disciplinary efforts to get the guys back to routine.
quote by Mort Walker
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!