Yup, the toilet is my best friend before a show.
Related quotes
Unchained Melody (Parody on 'The Streets of London)
(John London’s Radio Talk Show when he was
accidentally locked in the toilet)
Did you hear the shrieks fo London
From the toilet in the station
Calling for Jon-Jon
To come and set him free.
Armine let forth a sigh
Should it be one or two-ply
Nobody worried
The show must go on.
So how can you say
You were lonely
…and things about
where the sun don’t shine…..
So Jon-Jon took you by the hand
And quelled indeed the
shrieks of London
Back to the station….
Unchained melody.
poem by Margaret Kollmer
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A Dirty Beast
Your endless bouts of masturbation
Will do no good to your reputation
And I have to say I do deplore
The way you piss on the toilet floor!
Don't worry, I'm not complaining
About your lack of toilet-training
But I'm sure that even Sigmund Freud
Himself would be a bit annoyed
If you didn't make it your firm intention
To curb these habits that I mention!
Please show some self-control at least
Before you get known as 'The Dirty Beast'!
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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Plexiglass Toilet
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
A boy of 5 stands close to the toilet
Holds the lid up with one hand
Won't let go the lid for fear that
On his banana it will land
Don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
Boy goes up he eats the enchilada
With the sauce that burns the heart
Family comes to visit family
Momma says don't belch and fart
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
Everybody Sing!
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah
song performed by by Styx, music by John Curulewski
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lily Licked the Toilet
Lily licked the toilet,
And then she licked the floor.
You can bet I'll never
Kiss Lily anymore!
Lily licked the toilet,
And then she licked the sink.
She's full of germs and worms,
At least that's what I think.
Lily licked the toilet,
And then she licked the tub.
It's safe to say her tongue
Could use a real good scrub!
She was the cutest pooch! (To Smooch)
Why'd she have to spoil it?
Nothing's been the same since…
Lily licked the toilet!
poem by ToddMichael St. Pierre
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Two funney
Young funney
Boy...
go
The toilet...
Pass urine...
Not clean
The toilet
With water...
why...?
The boy was
funney...!
The toilet was
funney...?
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
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Toilet
Every one
use
The toilet
Clean
Take water
And clean...
Clean is
Importent
her clean
Is not
Impress other's...
It is helpfull for
Healthy good
Life...
For clean
Toilet...
All ways
With your use...!
Some
human are
Use
The toilet
At animals...
You...?
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
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If You're My Friend
If you are my friend why have you not spoken the words?
If you are my friend why have you turned and walked away?
If you are my friend why have you taken the other side?
If you are my friend why have you insulted me?
If I am your friend treat me with some respect.
If you are my friend then don’t ignore me.
If you are my friend then don’t laugh at my falls.
If you are my friend then don’t humiliate me.
If I am your friend, I can’t be your stupid pet!
If I am your friend show it!
If you’re my friend state it,
With all of the warmth, and meaning
Like a true friend of mine would.
*PLEASE COMMENT AND VOTE ON POEMS*
poem by Wade Blade
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A Friend Will Tell You
A friend will tell you
What nobody else will say
That there is toilet paper on your shoe
The rest is up to you
A friend will notice what you don't see
And will try to better you
A friend will try to pick you up
When you're feeling blue
Not only to yourself
But also to your friend
You must be true
The rest is up to you
If you are hurt by a friend
You both end up feeling blue
Because you care about each other
If you hurt, then the caring is true
To see a friend
You must see beyond yourself
You may unknowingly hurt them
In effort to protect thyself
poem by James T. Adair
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The Gardener XI: Come As You Are
Come as you are; do not loiter over
your toilet.
If your braided hair has loosened if
the parting of your hair be not straight,
if the ribbons of your bodice be not
fastened, do not mind.
Come as you are; do not loiter over
your toilet.
Come, with quick steps over the
grass.
If the raddle come from your feet
because of the dew, of the rings of bells
upon your feet slacken, if pearls drop
out of your chain, do not mind.
Come, with quick steps over the
grass.
Do you see the clouds wrapping the
sky?
Flocks of cranes fly up from the
further river-bank and fitful gusts of
wind rush over the heath.
The anxious cattle run to their stalls
in the village.
Do you see the clouds wrapping the
sky?
In vain you light your toilet lamp
--it flickers and goes out in the
wind.
Who can know that your eyelids
have not been touched with lamp-
black? For your eyes are darker
than rain-clouds.
In vain you light your toilet lamp--
it goes out.
Come as you are; do not loiter over
your toilet.
If the wreath is not woven, who
cares; if the wrist-chain had not been
linked, let it be.
The sky is overcast with clouds--it
is late.
Come as you are; do not loiter over
your toilet.
poem by Rabindranath Tagore
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The Only True Friend of All
Is there a friend on earth dependable?
Is there someone on whom you could well count?
Is there a soul with whom you share your woes?
Is there a creature upon earth like you?
Show me a friend who keeps your secrets all?
Show me someone who’ll feel proud with your feats?
Show me a soul consoling, comforting?
Show me a person showing gratitude?
Even your parents are not ideal friends;
Even your siblings are not trustworthy;
Even your spouse is not the best person;
Even your children don’t love you enough!
Who is the only friend of all on earth?
Who will not forsake you, nor abandon?
Who gave you love without pre-conditions?
Who called you by your name while still in womb?
Who watches you with eyes of great concern?
Who protects you from dangers known / unknown?
Who cares for you when you are old and weak?
Who dares the devils touch your body, soul?
God is the only Friend dependable;
God is the only Friend who stays all life;
God is the only Friend who timely helps;
God is the only Friend of all on earth!
Copyright by Dr John Celes 5-10-2008
poem by John Celes
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It’s No Fun Going To The Toilet
it’s no fun, dearest friends,
going to the toilet
with your entrails full
and at zero hour
and rushing to the toilet
and finding every cubicle shut in your face
and you run to the next
and there are grunting pigs
behind closed doors
and you are truly full,
and you know you are in big trouble
and there is not even a discreet bush corner
in the god-forsaken damned city;
and you are walking up and down outside the doors
like an irate Principal at a school assembly;
it’s really no fun
putting yourself through such agony
to put yourself on such public display
going to public toilets
when you could have cleared all
and achieved dignity
with proper timing
and good though boring habits
it’s no fun, really -
dearest friends,
hastening to the toilet
when your pipe is nearly at bursting point
and you rush in to the toilet
and though lucky enough
to find an enclosure
it’s really no fun, is it? -
all that hurry and urgency
at near bursting point
as you pow-wow before the toilet bowl
and your buckle is stubborn
and you plead to your private self:
O no, no…don’t burst…not yet…
and your damned zip gets stuck just then
and you continue your war dance
and you plead to your intimate self:
O no, no…don’t burst…not yet…not yet, please;
please don’t do this to me-self –
and just then the zip comes asunder
and you pull it down like thunder
and oh, what a relief, no doubt –
but it certainly was no fun
going there to the toilet at near-breaking point;
and how are you going to face the world
with your zip burst
and your buckle broken and hanging over now?
oh, so, dearest friends,
trust me
(no wisecracks here, please)
oh all you children of the earth
all infants and old
and the genteel and the virile
and the incontinent
and the humble and those with golden toilet bowls –
it’s never fun to rush in to the toilet
at near breaking or bursting point;
and though good routine
and roughage may never be fun either
it’s safer than trusting in City Councils that
do not plan for citizens at bursting point…
poem by Raj Arumugam
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A Friend LikeYou
A friend like you is like no other friend
A friend like you is a friend I don't regret meeting
A friend like you is like a friend I can't scream at or fight with
A friend like you is like having no worries in my life
A friend like you is a friend that I don't want to lose
A friend like you is like being in comfort all day
A friend like you is a friend I always wanted
A friend like you is awesomely awesome
A friend like you is random and funny
A friend like you is a friend that I love to death and I will never let go
A friend like you is a friend I can tell all my secrets to
A friend like you..
A friend like you is like the little sister I've always wanted
A friend that I can go to tell them what's wrong
A friend like you is like having no dark days because you brighten them up
A friend like you is a friend that opens up my eyes and helps me avoid bad things
A friend like you is a type of friend that laughs at dumb things I say or do
A friend like you is a friend I am proud to call my best friend...
poem by Shubham Kumar
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What makes a friend?
A friend
What makes a friend?
A friend
Is someone that everyone needs
A friend
Is that special one
A friend
Is someone you tell EVERYTHING
A friend
Is someone you never lie to
A friend
Can be a boy or a girl
A friend
Is someone that is always their
A friend
Will always listen to you
A friend
Always has input to give
A friend
Will never leave you in the dust
A friend
Will help you through the thick and the thin
A friend
Will always stand by your side
A friend
Will never let you down
A friend
Is someone everyone needs
What would you do if you didnt have a friend?
poem by Ashley Olson
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Short; Silly: Ode To A Commode...Or....A Poem About Toilets
modern 'toilets' are large flushable porcelain bowls
which catch waste from both your and my exit holes.
i'm used to white ones with large flush-water tank.
a hidden pipe carries off stuff that often does smell rank.
some in japan were quite different……with no way to sit!
i'm glad i found 'my style' when t'was time to shit.
and if from toilet-paper usage you're leaning,
some toilets have the choice of an in-bowl shower, for cleaning.
toilet seats are sometimes colored, or cushioned, or even heated;
for me, more important (at times) is JUST to be SEATED!
toilets have changed since they were just holes in the ground.
i hope, when i 'need' a toilet, one's always around!
(4-4-2010)
poem by Bri Edwards
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The Ugliest Lovesong
I sit on the toilet
and wonder
what this love is about
It doesn't strike
as a thunder
it holds me down
I often stare at the mirror
and wonder why
it keeps me stuck to sorrow
I wonder how
To be honest I want to stay
lay
and wait
day after day
To be honest I don't know when
I ll become
my own best friend
my soul asylum
my dreams'grave
he makes me numb
he makes me dumb
he makes me cut my veins
It doesn't matter if I m aware
my legs are still
they go nowhere
It doesn't matter I know it s wrong
'cause I don't know what s good for me
I sit on the toilet and wonder
what this love is about
Would life be
any kinder?
I can't get out!
I write the ugliest love
song
I ever wrote
It doesn't matter I know it s wrong
'cause I don't know what s good for me
poem by Erika Conti
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A Friend Like You
A friend like you is like no other friend
A friend like you is a friend i dont regret meeting
A friend like you is like a friend i cant scream at or fight with
A friend like you is like having no worries in my life
A friend like you is a friend that i dont want to lose
A friend like you is like being in comfort all day
A friend like you is a friend i always wanted
A friend like you is awesomly awesome
A friend like you is random and funny
A friend like you is a friend that i love to death and i will never let go
A friend like you is a friend i can tell all my secrets to
A friend like you..
A friend like you is like the little sister ive always wanted
A friend that i can go to to tell them whats wrong
A friend like you is like having no dark days because you brighten them up
A friend like you is a friend that opens up my eyes and helps me avoid bad things
A friend like you is a type of friend that laughs at dumb things i say or do
A friend like you is a friend i am proud to call my best friend...
poem by Jenni Cortes
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A Friend With Worries
A friend is like no other friend
A friend is a friend i dont regret meeting
A friend is like a friend i cant scream at or fight with
A friend is like having no worries in my life
A friend is a friend that i dont want to lose
A friend is like being in comfort all day
a friend is the best you ever had
a friend lets you know there secrets
a friend is someone you can trust with anything
a friend is someone that can help you out
a friend is someone with a shoulder to cry on
a friend is someone who helps sort boy troubles ot
a friend is someone who will never let you down
a friend is someone who you can always rely on
poem by Michelle Louise Commons
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Woes And Wonders
Show me a city full of happiness,
Then i will show you the effect of their weakness.
Show me a man who is full of himself,
Then i will show you why he's a fool to himself.
Show me your success today,
And i will show you your mistakes of yesterday.
Show me a community not far from the mountain,
Then i will show you why their security is certain.
Show me a holy man,
Then i will show you why he's called a human.
Show me a man who is not afraid of death,
Then i will show him the theory of birth.
Show me an ocean of misery,
Then i will show you how to swim in victory.
Tell me the meaning of ' STOP ',
Then i will show you the way to the top.
Show me your best friend,
Then i will show you where your dreams will end.
Show me a good and caring heart,
And i will show you why it hasn't been torn apart.
Show me your hall of pain,
Then i will show you all what u've gain.
Show me an exceptional reader,
Then i will show you a great leader.
Show me a way to financial prosperity,
Then i will show you a way to heavenly security.
Show me a great man of all time,
Then i will show you his footprint on the sand of time.
Show me a problem you can't solve,
Then i will show you why you haven't use the solution called love.
Show me a world full of fantasy,
Then i will show you the pain behind a life full of ecstasy.
Show me a kingdom built with wrath,
Then i will show you how much it is worth.
Show me a man with a problem free life,
Then i will show you why he hasn't gotten a wife.
Show me all of earth's pleasure,
Then i will show you why heaven is the place to be beyond all measure
poem by Stanley Oguh
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I DON'T SHOW MY LOVE TO YOU.....by Talile Ali
I DON'T SHOW MY LOVE TO YOU GIRL
I DON'T SHOW MY LOVE TO YOU
I DON'T SHOW MY LOVE TO YOU GIRL
I DON'T SHOW MY LOVE TO YOU
I TREATED U LIKE I WAS YOUR PRISONER
I TREATED YOU LIKE YOU WEREN'T MY FRIEND
I TREATED YOU SO CRUEL AND INHUMAN
I'M GLAD THIS TRAGEDY HAD TO END
I DON'T SHOW MY LOVE TO YOU GIRL
I DON'T SHOW MY LOVE TO YOU
I DON'T SHOW MY LOVE TO YOU GIRL
I DON'T SHOW MY LOVE TO YOU
I NEVER EVER WANTED TO HARM YOU
I NEVER THOUGHT OF ME AS A SCARE
BUT BABE IM IN YOUR EYES I SEE TRUTH THERE
I SEE THAT I AM A GRIZZLY BEAR
I DON'T SHOW MY LOVE TO YOU GIRL
I DON'T SHOW MY LOVE TO YOU
I DON'T SHOW MY LOVE TO YOU GIRL
I DON'T SHOW MY LOVE TO YOU
I WISH I COULD HAVE LOVED YOU BETTER
I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE LOVED YOU I SWEAR
BUT I WAS SO CONFUSED AND SCARED BABY
I COULD SEE HOW YOU NEEDED ME THERE
I DON'T SHOW MY LOVE TO YOU, GIRL
I DON'T SHOW MY LOVE TO YOU
I DON'T SHOW MY LOVE TO YOU, GIRL
I DON'T SHOW MY LOVE TO YOU
poem by Talile Ali
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Surprise in Japan - Drain as toilet
first world country
oh these quaint toilets where
you have to do it into a drain
I was terribly surprised that in some parts of Tokyo a toilet meant
you do your business right into a drain. You wear a pair of clogs into the toilet which is nothing more than a deep drain. I am still trying to find out where the shit would flow to till this day.
poem by John Tiong Chunghoo
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