My wife says that my tombstone will read, 'Here lies Mr.C, who used to be Mr.B.' So I think that's probably what I'll be remembered for.
quote by Tom Bosley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
The Old Tombstone
The old tombstone leans gently out of true
Just a marker for another's lost aims,
No one special, no one wise will need rue
His passing. Look! So long ago went James.
In the year of nineteen hundred and ten
On a day like this, in summer, he slept,
And awoke no more, just like all our men
And women, born to die. Yet no one wept
Except his wife and family and friends.
And he so young, just over twenty four,
Gone from his young wife half which life depends
And tears of anguish from her soul did pour.
Too much to bear this tombstone message shows,
Eight days later to her husband went Rose.
poem by Paul Anthony
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Love Has Remembered Me
Written by: myles goodwyn
Love wont remember me
Its been so long
And thats what Ive told myself
But you proved me wrong
You opened up my eyes
And helped me to see
That love has a way of finding
Those in need
Love has remembered me (love has remembered)
It seems too long since weve been together
Love has remembered me (love has remembered)
Its been so long, seemingly forever
Love has remembered, love has remembered me
I felt so all alone
And at times afraid
That love had foresaken me
It just seemed that way
Then you walked into my life
And you turned my whole world around
Ours is a true love
It cant be found
Love has remembered me (love has remembered)
It seems too long since weve been together
Love has remembered me (love has remembered)
Its been so long, seemingly forever
Love has remembered, love has remembered me
Love wont remember me
Its been so long
And thats what Ive told myself
But you proved me wrong
Love has remembered me (love has remembered)
It seems too long since weve been together
Love has remembered me (love has remembered)
Its been so long, seemingly forever
Love has remembered me (love has remembered)
It seems too long since weve been together
Love has remembered me (love has remembered)
Its been so long, seemingly forever
Love has remembered
Love has remembered
Love has remembered
(love has remembered)
song performed by by April Wine
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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What the Sexton Said
Your dust will be upon the wind
Within some certain years,
Though you be sealed in lead to-day
Amid the country's tears.
When this idyllic churchyard
Becomes the heart of town,
The place to build garage or inn,
They'll throw your tombstone down.
Your name so dim, so long outworn,
Your bones so near to earth,
Your sturdy kindred dead and gone,
How should men know your worth?
So read upon the runic moon
Man's epitaph, deep-writ.
It says the world is one great grave.
For names it cares no whit.
It tells the folk to live in peace,
And still, in peace, to die.
At least, so speaks the moon to me,
The tombstone of the sky.
poem by Vachel Lindsay
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Tombstone
Look at all the plans I made
Falling down like scraps of paper
I will leave them where they lie to remind me
From the past a rumour comes
Dont let it keep draggin you down
Throw the memory in an open fire
Youll be free
Roll back the tombstone
Let the saints appear
Roll back the tombstone
Make a new man out of me
Beware the passenger
The train already left the station
We are neither at home nor at work
We are moving
Listen to the howling of steel
A face betraying no emotion
Like you never had a chance to be
Wild and free
Roll back the tombstone
Let the saints appear
Roll back the tombstone
Till the lone ranger rides again
Rides again in your mind
Rode across the open plain
All the way and back again
song performed by by Crowded House
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Day Will Come
When the tombstone reads my name
There at-last
There will be no pain
Maybe my family will say then
That they didn't know me that well
Now maybe, They'll start to understand
What made my heartaches, and swells
We were so young when
I started the fight
To end that past
It's why I couldn't ever hold my tears back
You see, I was the one that had
Gotten tired of what made them cry
Now maybe they'll stand here
Trying to understand my words and why
So
Those words, on my tombstone
Shows how true love, says good-by
But the time is not now
Yet the time is slowly coming near
On that day they will see love
My kind of love, that doesn't cause tears
It's what I've fought for
All those years
So on my tombstone
They'll see what I've done
How I ended all their abuse
Through love songs that I've sung
poem by Clyde Bryson
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My Wife Is A Most Knowing Woman
My wife is a most knowing woman,
She always is finding me out,
She never will hear explanations
But instantly puts me to rout,
There's no use to try and deceive her,
If out with my friends night or day,
In a most inconceivable manner,
She tells where I've been right away,
She says that I'm 'mean' and 'inhuman.'
Oh! My wife is a most knowing woman.
She would've been hung up for witchcraft
If she had lived sooner, I know,
There's no hiding anything from her,
She knows what I do -- where I go;
And if I come in after midnight
And say 'I have been to the lodge,'
Oh, she says while she flies in a fury,
'Now don't think to play such a dodge!
It's all very fine, but won't do, man,'
Oh, my wife is a most knowing woman.
Not often I go out to dinner
And come home a little 'so so,'
I try to creep up through the hall-way,
As still as a mouse, on tip-toe,
She's sure to be waiting up for me
And then comes a nice little scene,
'What, you tell me you're sober, you wretch you,
Now don't think that I am so green!
My life is quite worn out with you, man,'
Oh, my wife is a most knowing woman!
She knows me much better than I do,
Her eyes are like those of a lynx,
Though how she discovers my secrets
Is a riddle would puzzle a sphynx,
On fair days, when we go out walking,
If ladies look at me askance,
In the most harmless way, I assure you,
My wife gives me, oh! such a glance,
And says 'all these insults you'll rue, man,'
Oh, my wife is a most knowing woman.
Yes, I must give all of my friends up
If I would live happy and quiet;
One might as well be 'neath a tombstone
As live in confusion and riot.
This life we all know is a short one,
While some tongues are long, heaven knows,
And a miserable life is a husband's
Who numbers his wife with his foes;
I'll stay at home now like a true man,
Oh, my wife is a most knowing woman.
poem by Stephen C. Foster
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Tombstone Shadow
Tombstone shadow, stretchin across my path.
Tombstone shadow, stretchin across my path.
Evry time I get some good news, ooh,
Theres a shadow on my back.
Saw the gypsy man, way down in san berdoo.
Said, I saw the gypsy man, way down in san berdoo.
Five dollars on the table, ooh,
Keep me way from my tomb.
Oh! oh!
Said I got thirteen months of bad luck,
Bound to be some pain.
Dont you do no travlin,
Fly in no machines.
Tombstone shadow, stretchin across my path.
Evry time I get some good news, ooh,
Theres a shadow on my back.
The man gave me a luck charm, cost five dollars more,
Said, put some on your pillow, and put some on your door.
He said, take a long vacation, ooh,
For thirteen months or more.
Oh, lord!
Tombstone shadow, stretchin across my path.
Tombstone shadow, stretchin across my path.
Evry time I get some good news, ooh,
Theres a shadow on my back.
Oh, oh, lord!
Oh, lord!
song performed by by Creedence Clearwater Revival
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Never write an advertisement which you wouldn't want your family to read. You wouldn't tell lies to your own wife. Don't tell them to mine.
quote by David Ogilvy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I always remember an epitaph which is in the cemetery at Tombstone, Arizona. It says 'Here lies Jack Williams. He done his damnedest.' I think that is the greatest epitaph a man can have.
quote by Harry Truman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Married Man's A Fool
(Willie McTell)
Had a friend, Louie Brown, he was a deacon
Just as wise as he could be
Now I realized he could read the Good Book
Back from Revelations down to Genesis
You know last Sunday morning we was over to the church
My buddy wants to take him a stand
And he looks out upon that whole congregation
The Good Book in his hand
Now he cast his eye about, and then he looks over in the Amen Corner
All the sisters commenced to shout [What'd he say ?]
He said a married man's a fool to think that his wife love nobody else but him
She stick by you all your life the chances is mighty slim
Now you read the Good Book, chapter twenty-one:
Every married woman got to have a little fun
Read on over chapter twenty-two:
It's a sin to let that woman make a fool outta you
Now you read a little further, chapter twenty-three:
She two-time you, brother, like she double-crossed me
Read on back, over chapter ten:
She shimmy one time, you got the problem again
'Cause a married man's a fool to think that his wife
Loves nobody else but him, I mean, loves nobody else but him
Well, a married man's a fool to think that his wife
Loves nobody else but him
She stands by you all your life the chances is mighty and slim
Now you read on over twenty-fifth page:
Married womens, Lord, is hard to engage
Read kinda careful, chapter twenty-six:
Back door slamming you got to learn to get it fixed
Read on out, chapter twenty-eight:
Who's that back slidin' out through the back gate ?
I believe I'll close on chapter twenty-nine:
Woman get tired of the same man all the time
'Cause a married man's fool to think that his wife love nobody else but him
song performed by by Ry Cooder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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This Song I Sing
This song i sing is for the living souls,
If you loved me but you never showed,
I did not read my tombstone for i was dead,
If you cared about me but i did not know,
Am sorry i did not see how many teardrops you had shed,
If the speeches on my funeral were filled with eulogy,
Let my symphathy sink in our hearts,
For i did not hear them accept my apology.
poem by Shamba Kaunda
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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An Amnesiac Remembers
The amnesiac who had forgotten that his name was Albert
Woke up one day as George
The amnesiac who called himself George
Woke up one day and forgot his name was George despite being born
Albert, and called himself Mary
Mary Shelly after his great Aunt Ada who liked to be called mary on her days off
But the amnesiac forgot why he wanted to be called mary and quickly changed his name to harry
Then one day while looking through the telephone directory to find his own address he remembered that his name was Albert
And that he had killed his dog and strangled his wife in an argument
about house work and cleaning fluids
Her body was buried somewhere in the back garden along with the dog
He was thankful that he couldn't remember exactly where
And went to bed and tried in vain
To forget it all again
When he awoke he forgot his name, was Albert
And called himself Jack, Jack the Ripper
And then he remembered he had murdered his wife and squashed the cat
He had sliced her in half with his black and decker chain saw
And mistaken the cat on the chair for a cushion
The cat was an accident he couldn't forget
He remembered that he had strangled the vet
Who he met by chance at the door
Who caught a glimpse of the cat's lifeless paw
He had seen too much to live
But Jack had a mind like a sieve
And went to bed hoping it was all just a dream
And that they were well and still lived
When he awoke he recalled that the vicar had called
And had made a scene
And he was appalled to find strange bodies heaped in the hall
Including a plumber a town crier and ex beauty queen
Plus a pensioner from number 23 and a man who had come to fix the T.V
Speechless the amnesiac returned to his bed
Swallowed a hundred blue pills
By morning his wife found him dead
The coroner reported 'Death by misadventure victim appears to have choked on his denture
A happy father of three
He liked to read and watch the T.V
He was insomniac forgetful at times
But his record was 'clean' he'd committed no crimes
He leaves behind, a wife a cat a dog three kids, a retired vicar
A plumber an ex beauty queen an anonymous man who had come to fix the T.V
And a black an decker chain saw
May he Rest In Peace
poem by Yvette Smith
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Married Mans A Fool
(willie mctell)
Had a friend, louie brown, he was a deacon
Just as wise as he could be
Now I realized he could read the good book
Back from revelations down to genesis
You know last sunday morning we was over to the church
My buddy wants to take him a stand
And he looks out upon that whole congregation
The good book in his hand
Now he cast his eye about, and then he looks over in the amen corner
All the sisters commenced to shout [whatd he say ? ]
He said a married mans a fool to think that his wife love nobody else but him
She stick by you all your life the chances is mighty slim
Now you read the good book, chapter twenty-one:
Every married woman got to have a little fun
Read on over chapter twenty-two:
Its a sin to let that woman make a fool outta you
Now you read a little further, chapter twenty-three:
She two-time you, brother, like she double-crossed me
Read on back, over chapter ten:
She shimmy one time, you got the problem again
cause a married mans a fool to think that his wife
Loves nobody else but him, I mean, loves nobody else but him
Well, a married mans a fool to think that his wife
Loves nobody else but him
She stands by you all your life the chances is mighty and slim
Now you read on over twenty-fifth page:
Married womens, lord, is hard to engage
Read kinda careful, chapter twenty-six:
Back door slamming you got to learn to get it fixed
Read on out, chapter twenty-eight:
Whos that back slidin out through the back gate ?
I believe Ill close on chapter twenty-nine:
Woman get tired of the same man all the time
cause a married mans fool to think that his wife love nobody else but him
song performed by by Ry Cooder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Monday Papers
I dont want to go out any more
I read the news, I cant believe my eyes
I push the table against the door
You know Ive had it with the world outside
If you want to know about the murderers and junkies
If you want to know about the lower east side
Now they got a map shows you where to get your monkey
You can read it in the monday papers, monday papers
Some people like a little gore
Some people always at the scenes of crimes
Now they can watch the tv more
Now they can get it in the sunday times
If you find it hard to handle what you see on page one
You can pull the funnies out and have some laughs
Take a drink and maybe you can laugh at ronald reagan
You can read it in the monday papers, read it in the monday papers
Monday papers dont ask no questions
Monday papers dont get no lies
Monday papers dont raise objection
Monday papers dont got no eyes
Brothers heading that way now I guess
He just read something made his face turn blue
Well I got nothing against the press
They wouldnt print it if it wasnt true
If you want to know about the gay politician
If you want to know how to be a star
Ladies - if you want to know about the new sex position
You can read it in the monday papers, read it in the monday papers
Monday papers dont ask no questions
Monday papers dont get no lies
Monday papers dont raise objection
Monday papers dont got no eyes
Monday papers dont ask no questions
Monday papers dont get no lies
Monday papers dont raise objection
Monday papers dont got no eyes
Read all about it, monday papers
song performed by by Joe Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Adulterous Wife
As her Children sleep in their bed
While her husband lays down his sleepy head
She quietly gets up and starts continuing her lies,
As this is the story, of the Adulterous wife.
She lies and cheats and do the sins that she shouldn't,
Sadly though, this isn't the first time for this woman
As in her past she has done this all before
Sadly her husband didn't know, that he had married a whore.
As when he is at work, she was never at home
And when her girl's slept, she was never alone
She lied and cheated and used her husband for a price
As this is the story of the Adulterous wife.
She sneaks out of the house whenever she can
So she can jump in the bed of another man
He then uses her, and then she lies to him
But neither can lie to GOD, when their beginning becomes their end.
And when her daughter's get older and they feel the strife
I wander if they will be like their mother, the adulterous wife
She argues and fights with her husband all the time
Loyalty and love to her husband has been left far behind.
The vow she swore to GOD she has broke it once again
Now she is a marked woman, in front of women and men
She has affairs with her lovers, that only the devil could believe
Asking them to come and rescue her, and set herself free.
She is never happy unless she is in another mans bed
Only happiness she brings that man, is when he is dead
She tells her lies and say all her men of hers are abusers
But she never let them know, that she is but a user.
And she'll keep her lies from yesterday unto today
And while she sins, other men lay down to pray
How sad it is to live that type of sinful life
But this is the true story of the Adulterous wife.
Randy L. McClave
poem by Randy McClave
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The comeback kid (song)
The comeback kid
~
I walked into am ambush I was overrun
Got caught out by feelings and thoughts
Led to into a limbo dance I became mystified
And this was just the beginning
~
I forgot about love, then remembered you
What a comeback to behold
I forgot about love, then remembered you
What a place to come back to
~
They say in every song there is a story
In every poem a tale is hid from view
The are many things we will come to say
And I guess that is just our little way
~
I forgot about love, then remembered you
What a comeback to behold
I forgot about love, then remembered you
What a place to come back to
~
Now where do we go from here
It’s a situation I am not used to
I’m all confused I have no clue
Can you take my hand, lead me from here
To where’ve you wish to
~
I forgot about love, then remembered you
What a comeback to behold
I forgot about love, then remembered you
What a place to come back to
I forgot about love, then remembered you
What a comeback to behold
I forgot about love, then remembered you
What a place to come back to
poem by Matthew Holloway
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Sunday Papers
Mother doesnt go out any more
Just sits at home and rolls her spastic eyes
But every weekend through the door
Come words of wisdom from the world outside
If you want to know about the bishop and the actress
If you want to know how to be a star
If you want to know about the stains on the mattress
You can read it in the sunday papers, sunday papers
Mothers wheelchair stays out in the hall
Why should she go out when the tvs on
Whatever moves beyond these walls
Shell know the facts when sunday comes along
If you want to know about the man gone bonkers
If you want to know how to play guitar
If you want to know about the other suckers
You can read it in the sunday papers, read it in the sunday papers
Sunday papers dont ask no questions
Sunday papers dont get no lies
Sunday papers dont raise objection
Sunday papers dont got no eyes
Brothers heading that way now I guess
He just read something made his face turn blue
Well I got nothing against the press
They wouldnt print it if it wasnt true
If you want to know about the gay politician
If you want to know how to drive your car
If you want to know about the new sex position
You can read it in the sunday papers, read it in the sunday papers
Sunday papers dont ask no questions
Sunday papers dont get no lies
Sunday papers dont raise objection
Sunday papers dont got no eyes
Sunday papers dont ask no questions
Sunday papers dont get no lies
Sunday papers dont raise objection
Sunday papers dont got no eyes
Read all about it, sunday papers
song performed by by Joe Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Man’s menopause
Are tiny letters dim to read?
Is wife looking like a sister?
Are you tempted to seduce one?
Do you prefer your hand to wife?
You have got to man-menopause.
15.06.2004
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dear Wife
Dear Wife I write you this poem
As I have been told it would do me well,
To let you know what you have done to me,
And ask why you put me through all this hell.
I brought you here all the way from your home
To be my wife and my love forever more,
I then gave you all, and I did without,
But then your went knocking at other mens door.
I then found out you were telling lies about me
And love letters and phone calls to other men you sent
But you I had trusted with my whole heart and soul
So your many affairs on me, I never had the hint.
Dear Wife this is your poem
I hope you read it over and over again
Your sister said your affair on me wasn't your first
As you did it also with your other husbands and men.
Did you tell anyone else what you did too me
About mentally and physically abusing me all the time
And how you always put yourself always first
And never what was yours was also was mine.
You left our house when your family had slept
So you could go out and be with with another man
As you didn't care who you used or had hurt
And you I don't think no one could ever understand.
Dear Wife here is more of your poem
I truly hope that you will read it all
Have you told anyone who you left me for
Or are you ashamed and want that to be my call.
He too is a liar and and user and also a thief
And in so many ways he is just like you
As he too has not a job but lives off others
So he now tells you what you can or cannot do.
He had cheated on his wife so she left him
And also I found out he is a Momma’s boy
He is a coward and he cant fight his own fight
And as you know all of that is a true story.
Dear Wife here is more of your poem
There is so much more that I need to write
Are you going to raise your daughters the way you live
And have them believing that you were always right.
Will they think its alright to jump from one man to another
And its better to always take than it is to give,
And to ignore GOD’S word and think only of themselves
Tell me is that how you want them to live.
Soon one day all of your family and friends will find out
Of all of your lying and the ways that you do act
And hopefully none of your family will turn out like you
And as you know those are not lies, but only fact.
Dear Wife this of course is your poem
And you know that none of it is a lie
I never expected what you had done to me
So deep inside my soul I surely did die.
I kept all the messages you sent in your letters
Even the one about your hickey given in our house
The one your bragged about that was given to you
And it wasn't given by me, your spouse.
I remember when you told your daughters and me
How every Sunday that you had to go to school,
Even on Valentines day and your Birthday you had to go
Then I found out it was lie, and once again I am the fool.
Dear Wife here is some more of your poem
I am beginning to feel a lot better now,
As I did nothing wrong and it was always you,
And truly I do feel so happy with my soul and I am proud.
You committed adultery and you robbed and you stole,
And I stayed truthful to my wife and love which was you,
When you were abandoned in Scotland for over a year
Remember it was I your husband who wanted you.
I still have the pictures and the mail you had sent
And everyone even your family knows of your past,
All your adultery and affairs and cheating you have done,
The evils you have done to others will always last.
Dear Wife again this is your poem
If not without you it would of never been born
Some talk about the fury inflicted by scorned women
But I tell you this, a man too does not like to be scorned.
You have gossiped and criticized everyone in your life
Told of secrets and promises that you swore to keep
You honor no one and loyalty is not your friend,
And for you soul, sad to say no one will ever weep.
You have talked about your sisters and your brother
You said of their problems that they have many
Then you talked about your ex-husbands and ex-lovers
And this and we say Wife; Problems you have many.
Dear Wife This is the end of my poem
I hope truly that you have read it well,
And I hope all that know you, have read it too,
As they will too know, the truth is all that I did tell.
You have no conscience or dignity about yourself,
Is that why you changed your looks once again,
You cant change your soul, like changing of your hair
Seems you cant stay away from adultery and sin.
When you sleep tell me how do you sleep
I bet you sleep well, that is if you have not a soul,
And are you waiting for another man to come in your life,
So you can again start another life not far down the road.
Dear wife, I wander will your daughters be like you
Later in years when women they will become
You already have taught them how to lie and steal
And how to use men for gain and also fun.
I remember when they told me about all your boyfriends
And all the men you had stay with you for the night
And sad to say I later became one of those men
I guess I became the man next in your expanding line.
I wander if your daughters are happy with you
And the life that you gave them to live
They don't know how to be true and virtuous woman
The greatest present a mother to her daughter she could give.
Dear Wife, that name I wont call you anymore
As my wife to me you can never be
As you did the sins no other wife would ever do
And everyone of that one fact would always agree.
So you can tell your lies to everyone that you meet
Do you believe any one but a sinner would believe your lies
As you don't and never did walk the steps of morality or virtue
Now when you feel the cold wind that is GODS sadden sigh.
So using me and abusing me will happen no more
As to my mind and soul on that one thought I do reflect
As i can do so much better but you will not ever
And now my Dear Wife, you will ever be known as my ex.
Randy L. McClave
poem by Randy McClave
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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You Don't Read Africa
Never have you ever sat
Or beneath African Suns lay flat
You insist on rumours fat
Liken to a rainy day's door mat
To judge where you haven't testified
And judge what ain't justified
You don't read Africa
You heard it is Hell's replica
With an oasis of virtual bliss
Where on semi-humans and snakes hiss
You watched him report
On a continent he hasn't rapport!
Why do you believe:
That which you perceive?
As Gospel-truth lies you receive?
Those that only your mind deceive?
Making you think 'Africa' is synonym to 'grieve'?
You don't read Africa
You only read about Africa
The cradle of mankind
You believe is to mankind unkind
You help in protests
Against nothing on your list of detests
You call it charity when you commission inquests!
Can a reader read a book here
When he is only there
There where he doesn't know where,
Where he feels and thinks is nowhere?
Read Africa from your heart
Not just when Africans hurt
You cannot read Africa miles apart
You read of Africa
You read about Africa
You read about Africa
You have read about Africa
You Don't Read Africa
poem by David Munene wa Kimberly
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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