An Amnesiac Remembers
The amnesiac who had forgotten that his name was Albert
Woke up one day as George
The amnesiac who called himself George
Woke up one day and forgot his name was George despite being born
Albert, and called himself Mary
Mary Shelly after his great Aunt Ada who liked to be called mary on her days off
But the amnesiac forgot why he wanted to be called mary and quickly changed his name to harry
Then one day while looking through the telephone directory to find his own address he remembered that his name was Albert
And that he had killed his dog and strangled his wife in an argument
about house work and cleaning fluids
Her body was buried somewhere in the back garden along with the dog
He was thankful that he couldn't remember exactly where
And went to bed and tried in vain
To forget it all again
When he awoke he forgot his name, was Albert
And called himself Jack, Jack the Ripper
And then he remembered he had murdered his wife and squashed the cat
He had sliced her in half with his black and decker chain saw
And mistaken the cat on the chair for a cushion
The cat was an accident he couldn't forget
He remembered that he had strangled the vet
Who he met by chance at the door
Who caught a glimpse of the cat's lifeless paw
He had seen too much to live
But Jack had a mind like a sieve
And went to bed hoping it was all just a dream
And that they were well and still lived
When he awoke he recalled that the vicar had called
And had made a scene
And he was appalled to find strange bodies heaped in the hall
Including a plumber a town crier and ex beauty queen
Plus a pensioner from number 23 and a man who had come to fix the T.V
Speechless the amnesiac returned to his bed
Swallowed a hundred blue pills
By morning his wife found him dead
The coroner reported 'Death by misadventure victim appears to have choked on his denture
A happy father of three
He liked to read and watch the T.V
He was insomniac forgetful at times
But his record was 'clean' he'd committed no crimes
He leaves behind, a wife a cat a dog three kids, a retired vicar
A plumber an ex beauty queen an anonymous man who had come to fix the T.V
And a black an decker chain saw
May he Rest In Peace
poem by Yvette Smith
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Plumbing (or) The Taming Of The Spew
He called to his wife, sounding, oh so, bereft
“Water just spewed right out of the sink
I just turned the faucet a bit to the left
It’s not my fault, I really don’t think”
The wife replied, “you go to work. I’ll call the plumber”
“Which one? ”, The wife’s husband did ask
“Don’t worry”, she said, “I have his number
The plumber best fit for the task”
The husband then left, as his job did come first
And she quickly got on the phone
She called up this man, the man of her thirst
The plumber with love undertone
He’d been there before, when her pipes needed fixing
When he laid right under the sink
With a large dose of grease, he gave them a slicking
This plumber sure was in the pink
When her husband came home, the spewing had ceased
He found all the plumber’s work done
She never let on just how well she’d been greased
Or how plumbing could be so much fun
poem by Stanley Cooper
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Albert's Allotment
Albert loved being on his allotment
he'd be on his plot everyday of the week
growing Cauliflower, Parsnip, Cabbage,
and winning awards for his Carrots, and Leek.
He spent so much time on his allotment
his wife thought he was having an affair
but Albert was more interested in his Potatoes
than any curvy woman with long Blonde hair.
When it rained Albert sat in his shed
reading Gardening books and having a cuppa
then he'd be out again digging for hours
till his wife called him in for his supper.
Albert liked growing all sorts of vegetables
but his favourite of the lot was the Marrow
he could grow them so big and so large
that some wouldn't fit into his Wheelbarrow.
Albert is buried down on his beloved allotment
as that was to be his final dying wish
when tearfully his wife asked him why he replied:
'So I can keep an eye on my Runner Beans and Radish! '
poem by Kevin Halls
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Identity Crisis!
When born, I was called “baby”
And later they called me “Abby”
Within 5 years they called me “student”
And for 7 years, like that I spent
Then they called me “teen”
I loved it and felt like a queen
Then I was called “woman”
And those times, were the best
Then some one tied a knot and called me “wife”
I hated those times, it was horrible and gross
In years I became “mother”
It was beautiful but tough
Then being called “grandma”
My times got better and better
Then at last I was called “old”
And my body was frail and cold
All this time I wondered,
Where my identity has gone
Some where in the middle, I had lost it
Through the ages, I had a crisis
An identity crisis to say!
DECEMBER 23,2008
poem by Sania Harris
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Black Jack Blues
Ow ow ow ow ow
This is the story of a man
He had a problem with gambling
He liked AA, he was a real big fan
But that didn't help and he just kept rambling
ow ow ow ow ow
He visited this casino in Las Vegas
He was hoping to gamble less
But it just didn't work, he couldn't hack it
He was just too addicted to Black Jack
ow ow-ow ow ow ow
He is the black jack man
He has the black jack blues
He's the number one fan
ow ow ow whoo hoo
He didn't know what to do
His wife had already left him, that beautiful Maggie Sue
He had nothing left to live for
Those black jack blues were killing him more and more
ow ow-ow ow ow ow
He is the black jack man
He has the black jack blues
He's the number one fan
ow ow ow whoo hoo
whoa oh oh whoo hoo
song performed by by Fleetwood Mac
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Thieves Like Us
Ive watched your face for a long time
Its always the same
Ive studied the cracks and the wrinkles
You were always so vain
Well, now you live your life like a shadow
In the pouring rain
Oh, its called love
Yes, its called love
Oh, its called love
And it belongs to us
Oh, it dies so quickly
It grows so slowly
But when it dies, it dies for good
Its called love
And it belongs to everyone but us
Ive lived my life in the valleys
Ive lived my life on the hills
Ive lived my life on alcohol
Ive lived my life on pills
But its called love
And it belongs to us
Its called love
And its the only thing thats worth living for
Its called love
And it belongs to us
Its called love
Yes its called love
Oh, love is found in the east and west
But when love is at home, its the best
Love is the cure for every evil
Love is the air that supports the eagle
Its called love
And its so un-cool
Its called love
And somehow its become unmentionable
Its called love
And it belongs to every one of us
Its called love
And it cuts your life like a broken knife
song performed by by New Order
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mary Mary Magdalene
Mary Mary Magdalene,
what do all those stories mean?
Mary, Mary, is it true,
Jesus had a thing for you?
Mary, Mary – He lay with you?
Mary, Mary, tell me true
Mary, Mary, red hair wild,
did He leave you great with child?
Mary, was your love so steady,
that you had had His kids already?
Mary, Mary, at the Cross,
did it feel a gain or loss?
Mary, Mary – on that third day,
what was it like with the stone rolled away?
Mary, Mary, running there with love,
what did you think when He rose above?
Mary, Mary – what was it like, after?
Were there tears or joyful laughter?
Mary, Mary – the kids you had –
did they turn out like their Dad?
Mary, Mary, whore redeemed,
did it work out like you dreamed?
Mary, Mary – your afterlife –
was it mostly love, or mostly strife?
Mary, Mary, were you worshipped or despised
As Mary’s daughter-in-law, Mrs. Christ?
Mary, Mary, did you stay,
or feel you had to take the kids away?
Mary, Mary, with so much love,
did you, too, rise to heaven above?
Mary, Mary, in the sky,
all we ask are the reasons why…
Mary, Mary Magdalene,
What is really true? What does it really mean?
poem by Michael Shepherd
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He Called Father
He remembered that fear,
Shaking in bed listening.
He called son.
Hearing the druken man,
He called father.
The womans cries, the punches,
Slaps, blackend eyes,
On she called mother.
Burying his head in the pillow
To shut out the noise.
He remembers the comfort
The gentle hand and soft voice
Of she called sister.
But the scars lie deep
A nightmare that he runs from
In the black despair of night.
From He Called Father
poem by Paul Brookes
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And then Dick called and said, I'm going to do a special called Dick Van Dyke and the other woman, that would be you, because every time I try to check into a hotel with my wife, they look at me as though I'm cheating on Laura.
quote by Mary Tyler Moore
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There Once Was A Man...
There once was a man, they called brave
Who lived in a hole, called a grave...
Well, being the host
To many a ghost,
He arranged a big bash, called a rave
There once was a man, called a knave
Who lived in a hole, called a cave...
Not being too keen
About keeping it clean...
Well, he took on a wife, called a slave
There once was a man with a stave
Who lived in a holy enclave...
Maintaining a grin
While absolving the sin,
He assessed wicked tales and forgave
There once was a monk with a wave
Who wanted a head with a shave...
The barber was such
That she cut back too much
Thereby leaving his globus concave
There once was a man in the nave,
Although pious he could not behave...
They paid him no mind,
'Caus his name was maligned,
Simply being a sinner to save
There once was a man quite depraved
A voluptuous life was thus craved...
Well, continuous sin
Ended doing him in -
On his tombstone they carved ‘Misbehaved'
poem by Terry O'Leary
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Better Watch Your Back
Oh, living the life of a madmans wife, has got to be unreal
cause shes got to hold on to ground control
While jack does what he feels
Well he stays away, and then he comes home
And he never knows where hes been
Jack blasts downtown then hes over the line,
And then hes a kid again
Jack said its hard living in a dream, and its hard
Always giving in to me
*his wife saw jack in a crowd of boys and he was talking against
The man
She saw the guys getting dangerous eyes, and she knew it
Was never or then
So she ran on back an d said to jack jack, jack I wouldnt do that,
If youre gonna continue to give your opinion, youd better
Watch your back
Oh, jack said youd better watch your back
Said youd better watch your back
Said youd better watch your back
*said youd better watch your back, oh, jack
Had knock down dream, then he saw the man.
And thought hed save the day
Jack gave roar, made for the door, hed go to church and pray
Say jackie, religion and you, aint mixed well in the past
Remember when you smashed your fist on the eucharist,
Threw up in high mass?
Its hard always giving in to me
* repeat*
Oh, jack youd better watch your back, oh, jack, oh jack,
Oh, jack........
song performed by by Hall & Oates
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The comeback kid (song)
The comeback kid
~
I walked into am ambush I was overrun
Got caught out by feelings and thoughts
Led to into a limbo dance I became mystified
And this was just the beginning
~
I forgot about love, then remembered you
What a comeback to behold
I forgot about love, then remembered you
What a place to come back to
~
They say in every song there is a story
In every poem a tale is hid from view
The are many things we will come to say
And I guess that is just our little way
~
I forgot about love, then remembered you
What a comeback to behold
I forgot about love, then remembered you
What a place to come back to
~
Now where do we go from here
It’s a situation I am not used to
I’m all confused I have no clue
Can you take my hand, lead me from here
To where’ve you wish to
~
I forgot about love, then remembered you
What a comeback to behold
I forgot about love, then remembered you
What a place to come back to
I forgot about love, then remembered you
What a comeback to behold
I forgot about love, then remembered you
What a place to come back to
poem by Matthew Holloway
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A Woman Called
A woman called for you today said Max’s wife.
Oh said Max who was she?
She didn’t say Max’s wife replied.
Well dames that don’t leave names
Aren’t worth worry over Max said
Lighting up a cigarette and sitting
In a chair by the window.
She seemed to know you Max’s wife stated stiffly
Seemed quite put out when I told her I was your wife.
Dames are always put out over something or other
Max said noticing his wife’s beauty spot
And how it moved as she spoke.
She was a brunette.
Ah a brunette huh?
Yes a brunette his wife said.
Well? She said after a minute’s pause.
New York’s full of brunettes.
This one came to the apartment and rang our bell
And stood at the door asking for Max.
There are plenty of men called Max in New York Honey he said
Comparing in his mind his wife and the brunette
He’d met at a bar the other night.
She seemed your type his wife said sulkily
The type that sways her hips and sticks out their ass.
Yes I know the type Max said and sighed
They can never leave me alone.
I tell them I am happily married to the best dame in New York
But they seem not to hear Max said
Watching smoke rise upwards.
Best dame in New York huh? His wife said.
Sure you are he said taking in his wife’s plump ass
Hanging over the side of the chair like melted cheese.
She smiled and said must have been a mistake
On her part coming here and asking for Max.
Sure it was Max said dames sometimes make mistakes
They have no sense of direction.
His wife smiled at him sexily hoping.
Max smiled back and hoped for erection.
poem by Terry Collett
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The Dog's Name I Remember
I spoke to him for a brief while just a few weeks ago
And he had with him on a leash his border collie 'Joe'
And today i met them on the street i stopped to say hello
But the man's name I'd forgotten and the dog's name i did know.
When we exchanged brief pleasantries he called me by my name
And he wished me a nice weekend and i wished him the same
I could not ask him what's your name? 'twould put me on the spot
The dog's name i remembered and the man's name I'd forgot.
A human being is always more important than a dog
And a dog has the same status as a rabbit or a frog
And an animal could never be compared to human kind
But when I searched my memory the dog's name i did find.
I met him on the street today and he called me by my name
And he wished me a nice weekend and i wished him the same
And he seems a nice enough man but it bothers me a lot
That his dog's name i remember and his i have forgot.
poem by Francis Duggan
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A Girl Called Johnny
I remember johnny - hey!
Johnny come lately
I remember her shoes like a ballerina
A girl called johnny who
Changed her name when she
Discovered her choice was to
Change or to be changed
I remember a girl called johnny
Black as hell and white as a ghost
Dont talk about life or death
She said Ive had enough of both
A girl called johnny who was not scared
Theyd have torn her to pieces but
Who would dare?
I remember a girl called johnny
The train came to town, boy she got on it
With no looking back, with not a word
If she said goodbye, well I never heard
But the noise goes on
The noise, the jazz
And the truth is in somebody elses hands
And the house that a girl called johnny built
Is now just ashes and sand
song performed by by Waterboys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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An Irreverent Look At Some Favorite Nursery Rhymes
Hickory dickory dock
I'd run around the block
For just one kiss
Oh my, what bliss!
Hickory dickory dock
JACK BE NIMBLE
Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack jumped over
The candlestick
He burned his butt
The lad's a nut
Now he cannot sit
MARY MARY QUITE CONTRARY
Mary, Mary
Quite contrary
Whats your garden grow?
"A row of tulips,
And one magic rose,
Guarded by a fairy"
HUMPTY DUMPTY
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall;
(Dejected)
After his cell dropped her call
AT&T, with all its repair men,
Couldn't connect Humpty Dumpty again
LITTLE BO PEEP
Little Bo Peep lost all her sheep,
And didn't know where to find them
She left 'em alone,
hoping they'd come home;
But finally gave up at 7: 00 a.m.
JACK N' JILL
Jack n' Jill went up the hill
To fetch a six pack of beer
Jill fell down,
"You tripped me you clown"
"So much for sex later my dear"
ROTMS
View ROTMS writings, images and video at;
rotms.blogspot.com
poem by Ray Lucero
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The Wind Cries Mary
After all the jacks are in their boxes
and the clowns have all gone to bed
You can hear happiness staggering on down the street
footprints dressed in red
and the wind wispers mary
A broom is drearily sweeping
up the broken pieces of yesterdays life
Somewhere a queen is weeping
Somewhere a king has no wife
And the wind wispers Mary
The traffic lights turn blue tomorrow
and shine their emptiness down, down on my bed
The tiny island sags downstream
'cause the life that lived is, is dead
And the wind screams Mary
And the wind cries Mary
Will the wind ever remember
the names it has blown in the past
with its crutch, its old age, and its wisdom
it whispers "no, this won't be the last"
And the wind cries Mary
And the wind cries Mary
song performed by by John Mayer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fundamental of Liar Chapter LXXX: Story
Story about future is called imagination
Story about past is called memories
Story about present is called reality
Story that becomes true is called prophecy
Story that becomes unfulfilled is called regret
Story that becomes no end is called boasting
Small story is called experience
Epic story is called history
Forgotten story is called lesson
Story that becomes obsession is called ambition
Story that becomes untold is called secret
Story that becomes go its own way is called life
poem by Maria Sudibyo
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We Are Coming, Sister Mary
On a stormy night in winter,
When the winds blew cold and wet,
I heard some strains of music
That I never can forget.
I was sleeping in the cabin,
Where liv'd Mary fair and young,
When a light shone in the window,
And a band of singers sung.
We are coming sister Mary,
We are coming bye and bye,
Be ready sister Mary,
For the time is drawing nigh.
I tried to tell my Mary,
But my tongue would not obey,
When the song so strange had ended,
And the singers flown away,
As I watch'd I heard a rustling,
Like the rustling of a wing,
And beside my Mary's pillow
Very soon I heard them sing.
Then again I called my Mary,
But my sorrow was complete
For I found her heart of kindness
Had forever ceas'd to beat
And I still am very lonely
From summer round to spring
And I oft in midnight slumber
Think I hear the same ones sing.
poem by Henry Clay Work
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Chickenhead (Icerider Remix)
(Intro - Wyclef)
Wyclef Jean with Spragga Benz
You know I got the reggae mix but this ain't complete
Know what I mean - to all the girls I cheated on before
Right about now - all my thugs around the world
If you love reggae music I want you to do this
Check it out, yo
Ah, put your lighter in the air, right, right
Put your lighter in the air, right, right
Put your lighter in the air, right, right
This is going straight to number one, check it out, yo
(Chorus - Wyclef)
Chickenhead [Jack it up, jack it up]
Hey yo, what's your prize tonight [yes, we have to jack it up]
I see it in your eyes [Yes, we have to jack it up]
You'll be alright tonight
(Verse 1 - Wyclef)
To all the girls I cheated on before, it's a new year
Hey yo, dear queen, by the time you get this letter
It's four pages but my name ain't Aaliyah
I don't know much about biology or chemistry
Failed the S.A.T.'s, study Brooklyn zoology
Remember me, Wyclef the memory
Ecstasy with no theory of manoghany
To be or not to be, last words from Shakespeare
But a package says I wanna get the bitch with no fear
A few good men in a new millenium
Woman got a new law, if you cheat you're a dead man
So I've been dead like 100 times
Ask Cyndi Lauper, she'll tell you time after time
She became an infomaniac, wanted it all the time
A thin line between love and lust
She mistake me for the rapper when I said Can-I-Bus
(Chorus)
(Verse 2 - Spragga Benz)
[To all the girls I cheated on before, Spragga Benz, where're you at,
wher're you at]
Chickenhead in a di bed, I feel dead, I feel dead
We have to jack it up, jack it up - keep up your head
Chickenhead in a di bed, I feel dead, I feel dead
We have to jack it up, jack it up, jack it up, yo
See my gal she a gimme a hug each day I come
Each an hour, understand, now she be on the bum
Wake up in di morning, all she know we are alone
Each day I cheat on a chickenhead I figure on
Bust it - man I go chill, me called a gal you wanna kill
She have faith, she have di skill, I know she want it she will
Gimme the right, a me remember, me have to come back for November
but the gal fe mi calendar forget that be the day
Chickenhead in a di beb, I feel dead, I feel dead
We have to jack it up, jack it up - keep up your head
Chickenhead in a di bed, I feel dead, Ifeel dead
We have to jack it up, jack it up, jack it up, jack it up
[Yo Spragga Man, what's going on]
(Chorus)
(Verse 3 - Wyclef)
To all the girls I cheated on before, it's a new year
Yo, yo, from the college dorm, until dusk is dawn
I never felt cold until I lost one
Don't let go like En Vogue chocked on
Clash of the titans, now I'm in my unicorn
I left New Jerus, I'm on my way to Brooklawn
Someone hit my bumper, I turned around and saw Sharon
Got surprised because I saw little Shawn
In the passenger seat with a bottle of dom
Remain calm, called Cocren on the horn
Salaam, warm up the jeep, cause a murder about to go on
What the bomb bomb but this ain't a reggae song
It's like a old flick, Godzilla vs King Kong
If you saw the movie than you know what's gonna happen
Down South, west coast, than back to Manhattan
Like Vanessa from "Soul food" when she came at night
Thank God it was a dream cause I woke up with my wife
(Chorus)
(Wyclef)
Thugs arond the world, yo
Ah, put your lighter in the air, right, right
Put your lighter in the air, right, right
Put your lighter in the air, right, right
Salaam Remi, Wyclef Jean, Spragga Benz
Nobody's safe no more
Lock your door, chickenheads on the loose
ooooooooooooooaah, I'm out
Refugee Camp abc, for your crews wanna test
Good night, good night, good night
song performed by by Wyclef Jean
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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First Prophecy Of Genesis Fulfilled Through Mary
'And I will put enmity between you and the woman,
and between your seed and her seed; He shall bruise
you on the head, and you shall bruise him on the heel' Genesis 3: 15.
at Calvary promised messiah bloodline of David
through Mary; will see this prophecy be fulfilled
'And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel
was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named
Nazareth, to a virgin espoused to a man
whose name was Joseph, of the house of David;
and the virgin's name was Mary. And the angel
came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art
highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed
art thou among women. And when she saw him,
she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind
what manner of salutation this should be. And the
angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast
found favour with God. And, behold, thou shalt
conceive in thy womb,
and bring forth a son,
and shalt call his name JESUS.' Luke 1: 26-31.
What then about this immaculate birth declared God?
'He shall be great, and shall be called the Son
of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him
the throne of his father David: And he shall reign
over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom
there shall be no end. Then Mary said to the angel,
"How can this be since I do not know a man? "
And the angel answered and said to her, "The Holy
Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the
Highest will overshadow you; therefore, also, that Holy
One who is to be born will be called the Son of God." ' Luke 1: 32-35.
God then proves his power of miracle birth knowing fools
will claim God cannot perform miracle births nor raise
the dead; denying not believing in God's limitless power?
'And, behold, thy cousin Elisabeth, she hath
also conceived a son in her old age: and this is the sixth
month with her, who was called barren. For with God
nothing shall be impossible. And Mary said, Behold
the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according
to thy word. And the angel departed from her. ' Luke 1: 36-38.
And thus it came to pass God kept his promise first
prophecy of Genesis; was fulfilled through blessed Mary.
poem by Terence George Craddock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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