Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course... the space between your ears.
quote by Bobby Jones
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
I guess what was going to come back came back on Monday. Of course now I've played a different golf course. I've played two practice rounds and two tournament rounds all kind of the same and now today I've played a different golf course.
quote by Raymond Floyd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Golf Tees Lament
Golf tees on my dresser
Golf tees in my bed
Golf tees on my pillows
Where they poke me in my head
Golf tees in my closet
Falling from my shirts and pants
Golf tees along the baseboards
Just like army ants
Golf tees in the carpet
And underneath my feet
Golf tees lined up on the mantle
Oh, they look so neat
Golf tees in my couch
And in my back and thighs
When I sit and watch TV
I feel those little guys
Golf tees in the kitchen
In Jurassic coffee mugs
Sometimes when I pass them
They look like prehistoric bugs.
Golf tees in the bathtub
Like sailors on plastic ships
Golf tee in her make-up
Like little bald q-tips.
Golf tees in the attic
Golf tees in the shed
Golf tees, golf tees everywhere
I wonder where they bred?
Golf tees out the backdoor
Like Hansel-and-Gretel’s trails
Golf tees in the flowerbeds
Among the mulch and snails
Golf tees in my car
And underneath the mats
Golf tees in the backseat
Like little baseball bats
But when I am at the golf course
I ask my partner, like a louse…
“May I borrow some of your tees? ”
I left mine at the house!
poem by Larry Buddin
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A lot of my buddies also played golf, but when it came to going to the beach or on the boat and chasing girls, they usually went that way and I went to the golf course.
Inch By Inch
You can take a powder
You can take a drink
You can keep the shrink
And the kitchen sink
Write my name in heaven
In invisible ink
I just woke up from dreaming, I think
You can take me over
You can give me a lip
You can take me under
You can give me the slip
Take off everything or tear me off a strip
Like a lady in the chamber
And another in the clip
Chorus
Dont move a muscle baby
Dont even flinch
You can miss me by a mile
Or just inch by inch
Inch by inch
Inch by inch
Inch by inch
You can pull me up again
Inch by inch
Inch by inch
As pulses race
I long to see that look upon your face
You can take me outside
You can take me apart
You can take me upstairs
You can take me to heart
You made me love you when
You thought you were so smart
Dont try to stop me when
You told me to start
Chorus
song performed by by Elvis Costello
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I never played much golf as a kid. I caddied quite a bit but never got serious into golf until about age 15.
quote by Lee Trevino
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I have come to understand and appreciate writers much more recently since I started working on a book last fall. Before that, I thought golf writers got up every morning, played a round of golf, had lunch, showed up for our last three holes and then went to dinner.
quote by Phil Mickelson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Your Teeth Are Like Upside Down Mountains
teeth like upside down mountains,
eyes like those of a frog big and bulging,
ears like played with playdo,
freckles are like a parker pen explosion,
forehead large and plain like a desert.
nose is like a melting candle.
your legs like golf clubs,
your the most perfect thing i have ever seen,
and you know it.
poem by Not Long Left
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Take Your Eyes Off Of My Treasured Space
Take your eyes off of my treasured space.
Not an inch of it here is yours to be shared.
You are welcome to visit and admire,
The peace kept within it.
And when your visit is over...
The front door will open.
And through it you will leave.
Hopefully with less curiousity...
As to what your decorating additions will be.
There will be none.
I have all the fun I've had,
Doing what you see myself.
And in the doing of it,
Was one of the best experiences I've had!
Enjoyed with no one else.
It was such a selfish joy!
Take your eyes off of my treasured space.
Not an inch of it here is yours to be shared.
You are welcome to visit and admire,
The peace kept within it.
And when your visit is over...
The front door will open.
And through it you will leave.
With an understood appreciation...
How glad I was to have you visit with me.
But you staying here is out of the question!
Although the time together,
Was enjoyable and well spent.
Give my regards to 'old' Broadway.
And other streets on which we played.
Back in the 'day'.!
There is nothing like a peace of mind,
I can find in any room I choose!
The air is fresh and absent of attitudes.
Sometimes just to sit in silence,
Energizes me with motivation.
Give me a call.
Maybe one day we can do lunch.
And exchange more of our fantasies!
While reminiscing as we munch,
And free from any temptation to aggravate.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Both of us played basketball, and I played tennis and my knees are done. Now if you ask us head-to-head who wins at golf, I'm asking for a couple of strokes.
quote by Michael Wilbon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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April 21
I'm a very average person,
and I think most people are.
I vote with the common man.
I have two kids, a boy and a girl.
Last Sunday I played golf with the boss.
Hey, it beats working.
I'm his wife. I may be brainless but
I'm her husband. I played golf with her
Last Sunday I played golf with the boss
and it was the first warm morning in May
and like every other moron driving a lawnmower
I'm their husband. I may be brainless but
I'm their wife. I'm their mother.
I have two kids, a boy and a girl,
and it was the first warm morning in May
and I think most people are
like every other moron driving a lawnmower.
I'm a very average person.
I vote with the common man.
Hey, it beats working.
poem by David Lehman
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The majority of people who buy homes in golf course communities don't play golf. Golf is way down at the bottom in terms of total numbers and growth.
quote by Ed McMahon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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To Win Another One
People play games to win, not for fun
Otherwise, it’s meaningless
In competitive games like basketball or golf
To win is the primary purpose
While to have fun or make friends is at most the second
Because people need to win to establish confidence and conquer others
It’s victory that excites us, not failure
It’s victory that makes our names familiar to others, not failure
It’s victory that makes us want to play again
It’s victory that tells us not to give up
Not only the human beings
Animals either fight to win and to kill or to be killed
They have no second chance
They have to fight till death
To win or to lose
Is a choice we are facing everyday
Golf masters are having fun all the time
Because they won many tournaments and they are champions
So let’s win another one
And win them all
poem by Michael Guo
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Bob Hope Esquire
My good friend, Bob, deserves acclaim! He loved to make folks laugh!
Indeed, this was his claim to fame... and now his epitaph...
His mind was like a library - one-liners as a rule!
His heart was good as gold, you see! That's why he played the fool!
His long nose was like a ski slope that's always heading south!
Despite his 'snozz', he learnt to cope and utilised his mouth!
Do you remember fondly, too? He flirted all the time!
He told each girl, 'Sure, I love you! Hey, babe, you look sublime! '
He charmed us all: half wit, half style! He made us grin and grin!
God blessed us with Bob's roguish smile... and also with his chin!
Bob played the hero with panache! We hoped he would succeed -
Especially as folks paid him cash to star and play the lead!
I pray my good friend Bob's received in Heaven, by the Lord...
And all lost golf balls are retrieved as part of his reward!
poem by Denis Martindale
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Never Give An Inch
In extreme town, it can break down
Anyone who gives it half a chance.
It's a no man's land.
Where the heart beats,
Cold as concrete.
Come to sell their souls
Anyway they can.
Try to understand.
For everyone who makes it,
There's a million
Who get left behind.
The only way to make it out alive. . .
Is to never give an inch,
When you're livin' your life under fire,
Hold on.
Never give an inch,
Never lose sight of your one desire,
You're gone.
Never give an inch,
Take it straight to the end,
Even if it hurts, even if you bleed,
Even if you're down on your knees.
Never give an inch.
Fast walkers, slick talkers,
These are people, people talk about.
The spotlight goes out.
Between the users, and the losers,
There's never any room for any doubt.
You're in or you're out.
For every one that makes it,
There's a million who get left behind.
The only way to make it out alive
Is to never give an inch,
When you're livin' your life under fire,
Hold on.
Never give an inch,
Never lose sight of your one desire,
You're gone.
Never give an inch,
Take it straight to the end,
Even if it hurts, even if you bleed,
Even if you're down on your knees.
Never give an inch.
Some go for desperate measures,
They're under the gun.
I go for grace under pressure,
Standin' my ground, whenever it comes.
Lead Break
For everyone who makes it,
There's a million who get left behind.
The only way to make it out alive
Is to never give an inch,
When you're livin' your life under fire,
Hold on.
Never give an inch-acapo
song performed by by 38 Special
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I would have to agree, that I'm probably more intense than Brian or Kurt, competitive because, I was always like this, always being that way, always real competitive.
quote by Elvis Stojko
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I'm a competitive person and it is in my nature to try hard in every match I play. The only time I'm not competitive is when I'm playing against my mom.
quote by Michael Chang
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I'm not a competitive person, and I think women like me because they don't think I'm competitive, just nice.
quote by Barbara Bush
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I've played golf with three U.S presidents.
quote by Lee Trevino
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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