My mother was right: When you've got nothing left, all you can do is get into silk underwear and start reading Proust.
quote by Jane Birkin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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As Soon as Fred Gets Out of Bed
As soon as Fred gets out of bed,
his underwear goes on his head.
His mother laughs, "Don't put it there,
a head's no place for underwear!"
But near his ears, above his brains,
is where Fred's underwear remains.
At night when Fred goes back to bed,
he deftly plucks it off his head.
His mother switches off the light
and softly croons, "Good night! Good night!"
And then, for reasons no one knows,
Fred's underwear goes on his toes.
poem by Jack Prelutsky
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I don't like silk underwear. They don't do the job, you know?
quote by Matt LeBlanc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dance On A Volcano
Holy mother of god
Youve got to go faster than that to get to the top.
Dirty old mountain
All covered in smoke, she can turn you to stone
So you better start doing it right
Better start doing it right.
Youre halfway up and youre halfway down
And the pack on your back is turning you around.
Throw it away, you wont need it up there, and remember
You dont look back whatever you do.
Better start doing it right.
On your left and on your right
Crosses are green and crosses are blue
Your friends didnt make it through.
Out of the night and out of the dark
Into the fire and into the fight
Well thats the way the heroes go, ho! ho! ho!
Through a crack in mother earth,
Blazing hot, the molten rock
Spills out over the land.
And the lavas the lover who licks your boots away. hey! hey! hey!
If you dont want to boil as well.
B-b-better start the dance
D-d-do you want to dance with me.
You better start doing it right.
The musics playing, the notes are right
Put your left foot first and move into the light.
The edge of this hill is the edge of the world
And if youre going to cross you better start doing it right
Better start doing it right.
You better start doing it right.
Let the dance begin.
song performed by by Genesis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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One of my assistants found this old German machine. It was originally used to make underwear. Like Chanel, who started with underwear fabric - jerseys - we used the machine that made underwear to make something else.
quote by Issey Miyake
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Can I Wait For My Boxer's to Dry?
I was often told...
Be careful how you go up the ladder,
Because one day you may have to come down.
And to always wear clean underwear.
Since you never know...
Who just might be around.
'That still doesn't explain,
Why you are butt naked...
Standing on a ladder,
And hanging your underwear
On tree limbs! '
Well officer...
It's like this.
If my neighbors saw my underwear clean,
And I put them on publicly.
They would not worry about how they looked...
When I came down the ladder.
It would be obvious...
My underwear is clean!
'I still have to take you in for psychiatric observation.
I understand the logic behind it!
However...
I do think you have been a bit stressed.
And taking things out of context.'
Can I wait for my boxer's to dry?
I just put those on my next door neighbor's satellite dish!
Did they call you?
I bet they did!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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No Inspiration
silence widows and other voice
as i fall victim to writers block
its been two weeks no inspiration
when will it stop
as i sit in the night trying to write
but none makes sense
so i start over and over again
reading all these other poems for advice
but when i start to write
it looks like plagerisim so i start back
but at the end of the day nothings change
just an empty paper left behind
and a trash can filled
poem by Robert Roberts
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And that's how I start myself. I usually go back a couple of pages, maybe to the beginning of the chapter, and I start reading. And as I'm reading, I'm tweaking - putting in a different word, changing the syntax, putting that clause over there, you know that sort of thing.
quote by Jean M. Auel
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Underwear
I didn’t get much sleep last night
thinking about underwear
Have you ever stopped to consider
underwear in the abstract
When you really dig into it
some shocking problems are raised
Underwear is something we all have to deal with
Everyone wears
some kind of underwear
Even Indians wear underwear
Even Cubans
wear underwear
The Pope wears underwear I hope
The Governor of Louisiana wears underwear
I saw him on TV
He must have had tight underwear
He squirmed a lot
Underwear can really get you in a bind
You have seen the underwear ads for men and women
so alike but so different
Women’s underwear holds things up
Men’s underwear holds things down
Underwear is one thing
men and women do have in common
Underwear is all we have between us
You have seen the three-color pictures
with crotches encircled
to show the areas of extra strength
with three-way stretch
promising full freedom of action
Don’t be deceived
It’s all based on the two-party system
which doesn’t allow much freedom of choice
the way things are set up
America in its Underwear
struggles thru the night
Underwear controls everything in the end
Take foundation garments for instance
They are really fascist forms
of underground government
making people believe
something but the truth
telling you what you can of can’t do
Did you ever try to get around a girdle
Perhaps Non-Violent Action
is the only answer
Did Gandhi wear a girdle?
Did Lady Macbeth wear a girdle?
Was that why Macbeth murdered sleep?
And the spot she was always rubbing -
Was it really her underwear?
Modern anglosaxon ladies
must have huge guilt complexes
always washing and washing and washing
Out damned spot
Underwear with spots very suspicious
Underwear with bulges very shocking
Underwear on clothesline a great flag of freedom
Someone has escaped his Underwear
May be naked somewhere
Help!
But don’t worry
Everybody’s still hung up in it
There won’t be no real revolution
And poetry still the underwear of the soul
And underwear still covering
a multitude of faults
in the geological sense -
strange sedimentary stones, inscrutable cracks!
If I were you I’d keep aside
an oversize pair of winter underwear
Do not go naked into that good night
And in the meantime
keep calm and warm and dry
No use stirring ourselves up prematurely
‘over Nothing’
Move forward with dignity
hand in vest
Don’t get emotional
And death shall have no dominion
There’s plenty of time my darling
Are we not still young and easy?
Don’t shout.
poem by Lawrence Ferlinghetti
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Not For The Season
Springtime comes and the leaves are back on the trees again
Snipers are harder to see my friends
Weeding out the weekends
Summer comes and gravity undoes you
You're happy because of the lovely way the sunshine bends
Hiding from your close friends
Weeding out the weekends
Candy left over from Halloween
A unified theory of everything
Love left over from lovers leaving
Books, they all know they're not worth reading
It's not for the season
When autumn comes you sit in your chair and you stare
At the TV square
Hiding in the deep end
Weeding out the weekends
Winter comes and the days all start late
There's motion on the boughs where the dark shapes prowl
Feeling out the feelings
Feeling out the feeling
Candy left over from Halloween
A unified theory of everything
Love left over from lovers leaving
Books, they all know they're not worth reading
They're not worth reading
song performed by by Wilco
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mother the biggest gift of Allah to us
Mother the biggest gift of Allah to us
Mother the candle burn herself to light our life
Mother the other name of kindness
Mother who hold us nine month and suffer
Mother who feed us from her blood and milk
Mother stays sleepless all the nights holding us
Mother teach us how to walk and talk
Mother guides us and secures us
Mother loves us from start to end
Mother is mother no one can take her place
poem by Mohammed AlBalushi
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Stifle not the reader
Reading is an art,
reading is a tool.
Those who think it dumb,
must be such a fool.
Reading is enjoyment,
reading is a blast.
Reading is a separate entity
from the future and the past.
Reading is done in present,
though written in a tense.
Reading is about life,
in surprise or suspense.
Reading is a place of joy,
full of hope and song,
Reading is a place I feel
that I truly do belong.
A trapdoor to a fantasy,
A world thought lost to us,
Reading is a place of wonder,
a place that we can trust.
Why read about reality,
when I can delve into magic.
Why stifle my own happiness,
with scenarios so tragic.
Stifle not the reader,
for it is their choice alone.
Reading is an outlet,
for hearts that turned to stone.
Who Referees?
I don't know if I am ready or not.
And what would I not be ready for...
If I were to be ready?
And then there are those,
Who say they're always prepared.
If it doesn't come,
Whatever they are prepared for...
What would be the purpose to stay prepared?
'Just in case! '
Just in case?
Just in case of what?
Someone discovering,
They are a descendant of Mother Goose?
And the shoe they all lived in...
Was found to sit on an oil field?
And they have inherited wealth?
I don't know if I am ready or not.
And what would I not be ready for...
If I were to be ready?
I was told as a child to always do my best.
Because you never know...
What's going to happen.
And have clean underwear on!
The clean underwear I understand.
The rest of that I don't!
What's going to happen?
An 'accident'?
Well...
There goes the clean underwear theory!
What would be the purpose to stay prepared?
For whose benefit?
And when you are ready to deliver...
Will what you have prepared,
Be suitable for anyone's taste that is declared?
Suppose you know you have been ready.
And 'they' don't care how much you 'suppose'.
Who referees?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Here Comes Yet Another Day
Here comes yet another day, creeping through my window.
Drank myself to sleep last night, beer stains on my pillow.
I gotta pull my things together,
The night can last forever.
Here comes a new dawn, here comes a new day
Tune up start to play, just like any other day.
Cant stop, cant be late, mustnt make the people wait.
Cant even comb my hair or even change my underwear,
Here comes a new dawn, here comes a new day,
Tune up start to play, just like any other day.
There goes another night, here comes another flight,
Cant stop gotta go, here comes yet another show.
Gotta pack up my clothes, brush my teeth, blow my nose.
No time to use the john, gotta keep a rollin on.
Here comes a new day, here comes a new stage,
Tune up start to play, just like any other day.
Made a lot of conversation, talked a lot of weather,
I hope we meet again some day, and spend some time together.
No time for affection,
Im moving in a new direction.
Here comes a new dawn, here comes a new day,
Tune up start to play, just like any other day.
Cant stop, cant be late, mustnt make the people wait.
Cant stop to comb my hair or even change my underwear.
See that morning break, oh lord, here comes yet another day,
Here comes a new dawn, here comes a new day
Tune up start to play, just like any other day.
song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Favorite
Don't look sexy but it just feels right
Not too dirty and it's not too tight
Why I never threw it out, I'll never know exactly why
Keep it in the drawer beside my bed
It's faded pink now, but it used to be red
Starting to fray at the seams, but I know that you'll still love me
Like you did, like you did
Like before, like before
Like we will, like we will
Be doin' it once more
Oh baby know what your like?
You're like my favorite underwear
It just feels right, you know it
Oh baby know how you feel?
You feel like my favorite underwear
And I'm slipping you on again tonight
Leave you lyin' on the bedroom floor
I leave you hangin' on the bathroom door
Take you for granted, but I'll always know exactly where you are
Lost you once you were hard to find
Got you back you didn't live like mine
Thought we were falling apart but you make me feel so pretty
Like you did, like you did
Like before, like before
Like we will, like we will
Be doin' it once more
Oh baby know what your like?
You're like my favorite underwear
It just feels right, you know it
Oh baby know how you feel?
You feel like my favorite underwear
And I'm slipping you on again tonight
Slipping you on again tonight
Wrap me and roll me, hold me tight
Tear me apart and make me new
Like you always do
Oh baby know what your like?
You're like my favorite underwear
It just feels right, you know it
You feel you're like this is what I want
You feel, you feel
Oh baby know what your like?
You're like my favorite underwear
It just feels right, you know it
You feel you're like this is what I want
You feel, you feel
Slipping you on again tonight
song performed by by Liz Phair
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Remembering Childhood
by accident you come across
an old picture
you recognize the face of your father
beside your mother
with his gun on the side of his body
as reservist of the army
you look closely
your mother pouts
and she is holding on to her
white skirt
you father's right hand grips
his gun
while the left holds on to
the chair just behind your
mother's neck
there is a baby being held
by your mother
it is sleeping and it looks
like you
your father does not like
you and you know it from the very start
you know how to pretend
till he died
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Mother In Law
(a. toussaint)
Mother in law, mother in law
Mother in law, mother in law
The worst person I know
Mother in law, mother in law
She worries me so
Mother in law, mother in law
If she leaves us alone
We could have a happy home
Sent from down below
Mother in law, mother in law
Mother in law, mother in law
Satan should be her name
Mother in law, mother in law
To me theyre about the same
Mother in law, mother in law
Everytime I open my mouth
Steps in trying to put me out
How could you stood so low
Mother in law, mother in law
Mother in law, mother in law
Come home with my pay
Mother in law, mother in law
She asks me what I made
Mother in law, mother in law
She thinks her advice is a contribution
If she would leave that would be the solution
Dont come back no more
Mother in law, mother in law
Mother in law, mother in law....
song performed by by Huey Lewis And The News
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Always Made Sure I Had On Clean Underwear
Now that I have aged.
And grown into an acceptance,
I can appreciate.
I clearly comprehend...
Why some then,
Thought of me quite unusual.
You see...
I've never had a dysfunction,
I did not enjoy.
Or believe my blackness,
Was for me a disability.
I had not been raised...
To become caught up in the 'self'.
Or let someone's anger strike fear in me.
When I was called names...
And could not either spell them,
Or find them in the dictionary...
I always made sure I had on clean underwear.
That's right!
I remember my mother use to always say to us...
'I don't care what you do or don't understand,
You make sure when you leave outta here...
You bathe and have on clean underwear.'
And 'that' has been my philosophy all my life.
That's the only one I've kept,
That has made any sense to me.
With few debates to argue,
Do I encounter.
Knowing if I am ever made to sweat...
At least I am clean.
And ready for inspection.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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0034 Poem with which to start a Poetry Reading
Ladies and Gentlemen,
this is my first poetry reading
and I’m very nervous
and nearly cancelled tonight
but I spoke about this to
a friend who’s a therapist
and he said,
this is what you do,
you imagine the audience
in front of you
all in their underwear
(as you probably are; but
without the outer layer)
with the men
wearing the most idiotic
flowered Hawaiian
two sizes too large
boxer shorts
and the ladies
in the frumpiest
underwear
you can imagine
apparently it works
so if I look at you, ladies and gentlemen,
somewhat strangely
from time to time
or giggle uncontrollably
or my eyes rest on you personally
as if we’re sharing some huge
x-ray joke,
please forgive me
and understand
that’s it for your benefit
as well as mine
and that you will have put your outerwear
back on
in the interval
before the next poem
I hope this is OK with you
and nobody’s too embarrassed
in fact you could do the same trick
with me if it’s
any help
and now
I think I’ve said enough as
I’m OK now
how about you?
(For maximum effect, pause noticeably at the end of each line)
(with thanks to Ernestine for the idea)
poem by Michael Shepherd
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Waer Is Love
on beach
underwear girls
underwear boys
playing at sands
love full...?
love is undearwear?
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
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Mother's Son
It should never be done
For a mother to have to bury her son
In a sad tombstone filled place
Giving him over to the grounds embrace
It could have been anyone
But why, oh why was it a mother’s son?
Who decided to let him die?
What is she supposed to do?
Get back up and start to dry
The never ending tears from her eyes
He was her first and only hers
Now she’s living out the curse
Of life without him on this Earth
She remembers from his birth
Happy times, with no hurt
It could have been anyone
But why, oh why was it a mother’s son?
But over there is another
Bending, grieving a mother
But who is she to have to bear
Burdens that will always wear
On the hearts of mothers everywhere
She sees no life left to live
And yet her heart refuses to give
It is strong and will fight
And live the life
Taken away from one to young
It could have been anyone
But why, oh why was it a mother’s son?
poem by Rae Carroll
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