Can I Wait For My Boxer's to Dry?
I was often told...
Be careful how you go up the ladder,
Because one day you may have to come down.
And to always wear clean underwear.
Since you never know...
Who just might be around.
'That still doesn't explain,
Why you are butt naked...
Standing on a ladder,
And hanging your underwear
On tree limbs! '
Well officer...
It's like this.
If my neighbors saw my underwear clean,
And I put them on publicly.
They would not worry about how they looked...
When I came down the ladder.
It would be obvious...
My underwear is clean!
'I still have to take you in for psychiatric observation.
I understand the logic behind it!
However...
I do think you have been a bit stressed.
And taking things out of context.'
Can I wait for my boxer's to dry?
I just put those on my next door neighbor's satellite dish!
Did they call you?
I bet they did!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Who Referees?
I don't know if I am ready or not.
And what would I not be ready for...
If I were to be ready?
And then there are those,
Who say they're always prepared.
If it doesn't come,
Whatever they are prepared for...
What would be the purpose to stay prepared?
'Just in case! '
Just in case?
Just in case of what?
Someone discovering,
They are a descendant of Mother Goose?
And the shoe they all lived in...
Was found to sit on an oil field?
And they have inherited wealth?
I don't know if I am ready or not.
And what would I not be ready for...
If I were to be ready?
I was told as a child to always do my best.
Because you never know...
What's going to happen.
And have clean underwear on!
The clean underwear I understand.
The rest of that I don't!
What's going to happen?
An 'accident'?
Well...
There goes the clean underwear theory!
What would be the purpose to stay prepared?
For whose benefit?
And when you are ready to deliver...
Will what you have prepared,
Be suitable for anyone's taste that is declared?
Suppose you know you have been ready.
And 'they' don't care how much you 'suppose'.
Who referees?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Underwear
I didn’t get much sleep last night
thinking about underwear
Have you ever stopped to consider
underwear in the abstract
When you really dig into it
some shocking problems are raised
Underwear is something we all have to deal with
Everyone wears
some kind of underwear
Even Indians wear underwear
Even Cubans
wear underwear
The Pope wears underwear I hope
The Governor of Louisiana wears underwear
I saw him on TV
He must have had tight underwear
He squirmed a lot
Underwear can really get you in a bind
You have seen the underwear ads for men and women
so alike but so different
Women’s underwear holds things up
Men’s underwear holds things down
Underwear is one thing
men and women do have in common
Underwear is all we have between us
You have seen the three-color pictures
with crotches encircled
to show the areas of extra strength
with three-way stretch
promising full freedom of action
Don’t be deceived
It’s all based on the two-party system
which doesn’t allow much freedom of choice
the way things are set up
America in its Underwear
struggles thru the night
Underwear controls everything in the end
Take foundation garments for instance
They are really fascist forms
of underground government
making people believe
something but the truth
telling you what you can of can’t do
Did you ever try to get around a girdle
Perhaps Non-Violent Action
is the only answer
Did Gandhi wear a girdle?
Did Lady Macbeth wear a girdle?
Was that why Macbeth murdered sleep?
And the spot she was always rubbing -
Was it really her underwear?
Modern anglosaxon ladies
must have huge guilt complexes
always washing and washing and washing
Out damned spot
Underwear with spots very suspicious
Underwear with bulges very shocking
Underwear on clothesline a great flag of freedom
Someone has escaped his Underwear
May be naked somewhere
Help!
But don’t worry
Everybody’s still hung up in it
There won’t be no real revolution
And poetry still the underwear of the soul
And underwear still covering
a multitude of faults
in the geological sense -
strange sedimentary stones, inscrutable cracks!
If I were you I’d keep aside
an oversize pair of winter underwear
Do not go naked into that good night
And in the meantime
keep calm and warm and dry
No use stirring ourselves up prematurely
‘over Nothing’
Move forward with dignity
hand in vest
Don’t get emotional
And death shall have no dominion
There’s plenty of time my darling
Are we not still young and easy?
Don’t shout.
poem by Lawrence Ferlinghetti
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I Always Made Sure I Had On Clean Underwear
Now that I have aged.
And grown into an acceptance,
I can appreciate.
I clearly comprehend...
Why some then,
Thought of me quite unusual.
You see...
I've never had a dysfunction,
I did not enjoy.
Or believe my blackness,
Was for me a disability.
I had not been raised...
To become caught up in the 'self'.
Or let someone's anger strike fear in me.
When I was called names...
And could not either spell them,
Or find them in the dictionary...
I always made sure I had on clean underwear.
That's right!
I remember my mother use to always say to us...
'I don't care what you do or don't understand,
You make sure when you leave outta here...
You bathe and have on clean underwear.'
And 'that' has been my philosophy all my life.
That's the only one I've kept,
That has made any sense to me.
With few debates to argue,
Do I encounter.
Knowing if I am ever made to sweat...
At least I am clean.
And ready for inspection.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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One of my assistants found this old German machine. It was originally used to make underwear. Like Chanel, who started with underwear fabric - jerseys - we used the machine that made underwear to make something else.
quote by Issey Miyake
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ladder To The Sun
From the very start
Came Earth parted
Broke up into pieces and
I was sure I could have missed it
It could risked it
But I put myself into your hands
Cause you're not just anyone
You're a ladder to the sun
You're not just anyone
You're a ladder to the sun
I can run my courses
Opposing forces
Then I...
If you want me you can have me
Oh take me, oh baby grab me
Cause if you want me then you can have me
Cause you're not just anyone
You're a ladder to the sun
You're not just anyone
You're a ladder to the sun
you cannot run
I had it all and I risked it
I had it all and I risked it all
And I risked it all
And I risked it all
A ladder to the
A Ladder to the sun
A ladder to the
A ladder to the sun
A ladder to the
A ladder to the sun
And I risked it all
A ladder to the
A ladder to the sun
And I risked it all
I risked it all
I had it all
I risked it all
A ladder to the sun
song performed by by Coldplay
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I don't always wear underwear. When I'm in the heat, especially, I can't wear it. Like, if I'm wearing a flower dress, why do I have to wear underwear?
quote by Naomi Campbell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Favorite
Don't look sexy but it just feels right
Not too dirty and it's not too tight
Why I never threw it out, I'll never know exactly why
Keep it in the drawer beside my bed
It's faded pink now, but it used to be red
Starting to fray at the seams, but I know that you'll still love me
Like you did, like you did
Like before, like before
Like we will, like we will
Be doin' it once more
Oh baby know what your like?
You're like my favorite underwear
It just feels right, you know it
Oh baby know how you feel?
You feel like my favorite underwear
And I'm slipping you on again tonight
Leave you lyin' on the bedroom floor
I leave you hangin' on the bathroom door
Take you for granted, but I'll always know exactly where you are
Lost you once you were hard to find
Got you back you didn't live like mine
Thought we were falling apart but you make me feel so pretty
Like you did, like you did
Like before, like before
Like we will, like we will
Be doin' it once more
Oh baby know what your like?
You're like my favorite underwear
It just feels right, you know it
Oh baby know how you feel?
You feel like my favorite underwear
And I'm slipping you on again tonight
Slipping you on again tonight
Wrap me and roll me, hold me tight
Tear me apart and make me new
Like you always do
Oh baby know what your like?
You're like my favorite underwear
It just feels right, you know it
You feel you're like this is what I want
You feel, you feel
Oh baby know what your like?
You're like my favorite underwear
It just feels right, you know it
You feel you're like this is what I want
You feel, you feel
Slipping you on again tonight
song performed by by Liz Phair
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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As Soon as Fred Gets Out of Bed
As soon as Fred gets out of bed,
his underwear goes on his head.
His mother laughs, "Don't put it there,
a head's no place for underwear!"
But near his ears, above his brains,
is where Fred's underwear remains.
At night when Fred goes back to bed,
he deftly plucks it off his head.
His mother switches off the light
and softly croons, "Good night! Good night!"
And then, for reasons no one knows,
Fred's underwear goes on his toes.
poem by Jack Prelutsky
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Waer Is Love
on beach
underwear girls
underwear boys
playing at sands
love full...?
love is undearwear?
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
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Shocking Pink Underwear
I sometimes wear shocking pink underwear.
It is my act of rebellion against those who
always tell me that I am too pale for bright colours.
I wear it under my black dress... with no shoes
and a daring glint in my eyes
A rebellious spirit, according to the Bible,
is the same as witchcraft....
Maybe I am a witch, bewitching you with my black clothes,
pale skin, and pink underwear
Maybe I am an angel, with my bare feet.....
running circles around your enchanted imagination
poem by Yuri Duraan
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Butt Naked
So much of my life
Has little of you in it!
For you to insist
Your role is larger than that...
Makes me now wonder,
Where those rumors started.
Some of what has been said...
Came from such an imaginative head!
Especially the ones,
About the color of my underwear.
And which colors I like to wear to bed!
Apparently...
You don't know me that well!
My preference is being butt naked.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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In my hand luggage I always have my camera, iPod, make-up bag, tooth brush, cleansing products, clean underwear, socks and a change of clothes in case anything goes missing at the other end - and of course my passport.
quote by Lisa Snowdon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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0034 Poem with which to start a Poetry Reading
Ladies and Gentlemen,
this is my first poetry reading
and I’m very nervous
and nearly cancelled tonight
but I spoke about this to
a friend who’s a therapist
and he said,
this is what you do,
you imagine the audience
in front of you
all in their underwear
(as you probably are; but
without the outer layer)
with the men
wearing the most idiotic
flowered Hawaiian
two sizes too large
boxer shorts
and the ladies
in the frumpiest
underwear
you can imagine
apparently it works
so if I look at you, ladies and gentlemen,
somewhat strangely
from time to time
or giggle uncontrollably
or my eyes rest on you personally
as if we’re sharing some huge
x-ray joke,
please forgive me
and understand
that’s it for your benefit
as well as mine
and that you will have put your outerwear
back on
in the interval
before the next poem
I hope this is OK with you
and nobody’s too embarrassed
in fact you could do the same trick
with me if it’s
any help
and now
I think I’ve said enough as
I’m OK now
how about you?
(For maximum effect, pause noticeably at the end of each line)
(with thanks to Ernestine for the idea)
poem by Michael Shepherd
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Clean
Eat clean,
Live clean,
Sleep clean,
dress clean,
Walk clean,
Learn clean,
Play clean,
Think clean,
dance clean,
Talk clean,
Sing clean,
work clean,
Because the world around you is watching what you do;
You are the only one on this earth,
So live and let us live too.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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(I Wanna Be Your) Underwear
I wanna be your t-shirt when it's wet;
wanna be the shower when you sweat;
I gotta to be the tattoo on your skin;
ya lemme be your bed baby - when you climb in...
I wanna be the sheets when you sleep;
lemme be the secrets that you keep;
I gotta to be the spoon - ta stir your cream;
I wanna to be the one that really makes you scream...
I wanna be - your lipstick - when ya lick it;
I wanna be - your high heels - when ya kick it;
I wanna be - your sweet love babe - ya when you make it;
From your feet up to your hair - more than anything I swear
I wanna be - your underwear
I wanna be the itch that you scratch;
wanna be the chair when you relax;
I got to be your razor when you shave;
wanna be the one that makes ya misbehave...
I wanna be - your hot tub - when you're dippin';
I wanna be - your bathrobe - when you're drippin';
I wanna be - your cocktail baby - when you're sippin';
I just wanna be right there - more than anything I swear
I wanna be - your underwear
Wanna be your sleepin' bag - baby slip inside;
Let me be your motorcycle - n' take ya for a ride - alright
I wanna be - your hot sauce - ya when you're cookin';
I wanna be - your sunglasses - hey good lookin';
I wanna be - wanna be the one - ya stick your hook in';
I just wanna be right there;
more than anything I swear...
Oh ya...
I wanna be - your underwear
song performed by by Bryan Adams from 18 Til I Die
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Ambitions Are to Defy Logic
Why do you tie your shoes like that?
'To see how quickly it can be done,
When they are on my feet.'
But wouldn't it be easier,
To put them 'on' your feet...
Enabling you to both time 'that'
As well as have the shoes already on your feet?
'My ambitions are to defy logic.
I am not going to bore myself with it! '
I see!
And you still say...
Your recent split from your relationship,
With your spouse...
Has nothing to do with your increased strange behavior?
'What strange behavior?
If this is what I want to do,
Why to you it has to be so 'strange'? '
Well,
It's like this...
You are sitting on your front lawn,
In broad daylight.
Sitting in your underwear.
And there is a gathering of your neighbors,
Across the street...
Watching you,
Tie shoes that are not on your feet.
Over and over again.
This is strange behavior.
'Who cares what they think?
Those are the same people who called the police,
When I chose to lay on my own roof butt naked...
During the last rain storm we had a few weeks ago.
And like I told the police.
And my 'mate'.
Who am I offending if I have chosen not to circumcise? '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Your Underwear
I wanna be your t-shirt when it's wet - wanna be the
Shower when you sweat
I gotta to be the tattoo on your skin - ya lemme be your
Bed baby - when you climb in
I wanna be the sheets when you sleep - lemme be the
Secrets that you keep
I gotta be the spoon - ta stir your cream
I wanna to be the one that really makes you scream
I wanna be - your lipstick when ya lick it
I wanna be - your high heels when ya kick it
I wanna be - your sweet love babe - ya when you make it
From your feet up to your hair - more than anything i swear
I wanna be - your underwear
I wanna be the itch that you scratch - wanna be your
Chair when you relax
I got to be your razor when you shave
Wanna be the habit that really makes you crave
I wanna be - your hot tub - when you're dippin'
I wanna be - your bathrobe - when you're drippin'
I wanna be - your cocktail baby - when you're sippin'
I just wanna be right there - more than anything i swear
I wanna be - your underwear
Wanna be your sleepin' bag - baby slip inside
Let me be your motorcycle n' take ya for a ride -
Alright
I wanna be - your hot sauce - ya when you're cookin'
I wanna be - your sunglasses - hey good lookin'
I wanna be - wanna be the one - ya stick your hook in'
I just wanna be right there - more than anything i swear
Oh ya i wanna be - your underwear
song performed by by Bryan Adams
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I love a man who can wear my underwear.
quote by Yasmine Bleeth
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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4. That Blooming Cat
Round the corner up a tree
A small black cat looked down at me
A large Alsatian starred at cat
Near the tree where now he sat
Cat was hissing the dog went woof
Each had nearly had enough
All night long they’d sat and starred
Not at home but no one cared
Cat looked sad and gave a wow
Dog barked so much louder now
Crowd starts forming dog gets madder
Someone shouts I’ll get a ladder
Placed the ladder up to the tree
Then the crowd all looked at me
I reached the cat the crowd all starred
But I can’t get down cos now I’m scarred
poem by by unknown author (2008)
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Bollock Naked
'Bollock naked' is a phrase
That's calculated to amaze
Those ignorant of Geordie ways.
'Bollock naked' really means
You're standing there
Without your jeans
Or underwear,
Without a stitch, in fact.
Man or woman, parent, child,
You're 'bollock naked',
Running wild!
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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