The most casual examination will reveal the fact that all the jokes about the horrible results of masculine cooking and sewing are written by men. It is all part of a great scheme of sex propaganda.
quote by Heywood Broun
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
All the Jokes
All the jokes have already been told
And so instead, we tell jokes about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
So instead we tell jokes about how
All the new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
Because they remind us about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these jokes get old very quickly
So we make up new jokes about how
The jokes about the new jokes about how
All the jokes that have already been told
Are starting to get quite old
But after a while, once these jokes
Have gotten quite old themselves
We sit and listen to the silence
And wonder about the past, and how
All the jokes have already been told
Then suddenly, out of nowhere
Somebody comes up with a joke
That had been forgotten long ago
But is so funny we can't even breathe
So we roll on the floor, gasping for air
poem by Derek Ouyang
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Feel Horrible. She Doesn't
I feel horrible. She doesn't
love me and I wander around
like a sewing machine
that's just finished sewing
a turd to a garbage can lid.
poem by Richard Brautigan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Some Horrible Stuff
Oh I know I can write some horrible stuff.
Written horribly to satisfy those horrible,
Seeking to be horrified.
And that is the reason...
The most horrible stuff written I can muster up,
Is specifically created to have that...
Certain horrible touch.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Masculine
Phonecall:
(this is one of the neighbors from down the street.
This record of this music has been goin on all afternoon
And Im sick and tired of it. if it doesnt stop Im calling the police!)
You got me on the run, you got it your way
Now Im feeling pretty good and Im beginning to sweat
Your love is so fine, its got me feelin alright
Going out of my mind, I got to have you tonight
The girls so deep inside, like blood in my veins
Never lets me hide, now Im going insane
It makes me climb the walls, bite my nails to the bone
Its always by my side, it never leaves me alone
Chorus:
When its time to get tough, Im masculine (masculine, masculine)
When she wants to play rough, Im masculine (masculine, masculine)
Masculine
I know that Im a man from the spark in my soul
It can make me so hot, you got out of control
Grab her by the hair, drag her back to your cave
Its what makes a man a man, people always stay the same
(chorus)
Im masculine
(masculine, masculine)
(repeats)
Anytime, anyplace, anyway, in the heat of the nite and in the dark of the day
Anytime, anyplace, anyway
When its time to get tough, Im masculine (masculine, masculine)
When she wants to make love, Im masculine - what dyou say?
When she wants to make love, Im masculine
When she wants to play rough, Im masculine (masculine, masculine)
When she wants to make love, Im masculine (masculine, masculine)
If you push me Ill shove, Im masculine
When she wants to play rough, Im masculine
When she wants to make love, Im masculine...
(to fade)
song performed by by Meat Loaf
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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She alone can judge
.
Who is masculine?
He, with the muscles of Hercules,
Or he, with the valour of Ulysses.
Who is masculine?
He, who swayed like Asoka, the Emperor,
Or he, who bullied like Hitler, the Dictator
Who is masculine?
He, who seduced so many,
Or he, who reproduced many
Who is masculine?
He, who lived in many sweet-hearts,
Or he who loved many sweet-hearts
Who is masculine?
He, who sent her to orgasm,
Or he, who held her to his bosom
Who is masculine?
He, who courted anything feminine
Or he who excited anything feminine
Who is masculine?
She alone can define,
The Empress, of her domain.
27.06.97
.
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives. Unfortunately most of us are completely unaware of this fact and we do not monitor our thoughts with the care needed so that we can create in our lives the results we say we want. Since the great majority of people do not feel worthy and deserving of abundant good fortune, radiant good health and total success in all areas of their lives that overriding thought pattern controls the results people get. The first order of business of anyone who wants to enjoy success in all areas of his
her life is to take charge of the internal dialogue they have and only think, say and behavior in a manner consistent with the results they truly desire.
quote by Sidney Madwed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Unexpected Absence
They are here!
The results...
Pleasured by those needs teasing,
And feeding...
As they bleed from the taking of risks!
And they are here,
The offspring...
Of those misguided teachings,
We...
You and I encouraged to try,
This craving taste of a way of life...
Lived!
As taught,
With little self examination.
And brought to deliver...
As a means to prevail.
With perfected implementation.
And they are here...
The results!
Of those quick to heat passions.
They are here...
Without the cheering done.
There is an unexpected absence of it!
And we have been overcomed...
By a deafening disrespect given.
And they...
Are here to crush,
Whatever it was we thought with beliefs...
Was our right to give to nourish,
A glow to forever flourish.
That would manifest a harvesting of inspiration!
And they are here,
The results...
To prove,
So wrong has been our self righteousness!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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This is the secret of propaganda: To totally saturate the person, whom the propaganda wants to lay hold of, with the ideas of the propaganda, without him even noticing that he is being saturated.
quote by Paul Watzlawick
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.
quote by Frank Muir
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The United States has it's own propaganda, but it's very effective because people don't realize that it's propaganda. And it's subtle, but it's actually a much stronger propaganda machine than the Nazis had but it's funded in a different way.
quote by Crispin Glover
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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I have a lot of cooking tools. In fact I have a whole drawer full of knives. Cooking tools, especially cutlery, are my toys.
quote by Martin Yan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm 16 now, I was 15 when it happened... and the encryption code wasn't in fact written by me, but written by the German member. There seems to be a bit of confusion about that part.
quote by Jon Johansen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Scheme
Parting a friendship entails loss of feeling, bereavement and sad loss, it is the scheme,
We fight forever as hearts entwined, a sadness has overcome us, it is the scheme.
My dispute lies in the warning given to my brain, too soft, too poignant,
Since the power of the cold weather is upon us like a boss, it is the scheme.
Upstairs it rains from the clouds into my apartment if going was easy enough,
How do sentences disappear, and reappear for the chaos, is it the scheme?
Are not powers greater than what is shared, the bought product is used well,
Like no other, as it is a sequence of flight that is a sauce, it is the scheme.
My teeth have powerful roots, like the family and country, angering our youth,
Who see the world as fortune and gold and mines of silver, their ethos and scheme.
Why on this planet do we encounter pain all too resenting and unkind?
Because my friends part for open learning and they give no toss, it is a scheme.
poem by Naveed Akram
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Masters
I learned the art of drawing from the sky
learned music from the oceans.
Sun who taught me to fight
and the Moon who taught me to weep.
Arithmetic and Algebra I don't like,
but the twinkling stars helped me a lot to count figures.
Geography and History those are my best.
After the examination I waited for my results
and saw it's written in the sky.
My parents won't believe this
I got a zero for each subject.
I was upset and came running
searching everywhere the Life-Tavern
to have a cup of pain killer,
Then I saw a ragged beggar
Who's never been to a school
Taught me to smile.
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Examination
Abolish examination.
And who are you to take examination?
Do you know whom to examine
And how to examine?
If you are so keen to take examination
Examine yourself first.
It is not easy to examine self
And pass the examination
scoring top.
Examine self while alone
Alone at night
Alone at bed.
Dare not examine others and
Dare not examine especially children.
poem by Gajanan Mishra
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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For the most part this is a place to find down-to-earth advice on everyday cooking, eating, food shopping, cooking equipment, and nice things to put on your table.
quote by Arthur Schwartz
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The bBest offering to God
work is
my prayer
to God
heart
soul
and mind
work is
the best offering
to God
it results
in a great work
for the world
it results
in a great
promotion
it results
in three
miracles
God is happy
I am happy
and the world is happy
poem by John Tiong Chunghoo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Granny Krendoll Brings Star To Life
Granny Krendoll with her sewing flair
sews Star doll and yarns her hair.
Granny Krendoll makes Star into a small doll
once Star is alive the two have a ball.
Star writes Granny Krendoll once in awhile
she likes writing her letters that make her smile.
Then Granny Krendoll does get sick
she is sent to Krendoll hospital to recover quick.
Star had to make sure Granny Krendoll was alright
in fact Granny Krendoll told the nurse, where is Star tonight?
Right then Star with Melodie soon arrived
to sit by friend Granny Krendoll's dear old side.
Now Granny Krendoll gets healthy and recovers real soon
she enjoys sewing new dolls and her new life too.
Thank you Granny Krendoll for raising the bar
if it wasn't for you, the world would not have Star.
Written by Suzae Chevalier on February 14,2012
poem by Christina Sunrise
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I don't like gourmet cooking or ""this"" cooking or ""that"" cooking. I like good cooking.
quote by James Beard
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There are people who claim to be instinctive cooks, who never follow recipes or weigh anything at all. All I can say is they're not very fussy about what they eat. For me, cooking is an exact art and not some casual game.
quote by Delia Smith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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