Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.
quote by Frank Muir
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Masculine
Phonecall:
(this is one of the neighbors from down the street.
This record of this music has been goin on all afternoon
And Im sick and tired of it. if it doesnt stop Im calling the police!)
You got me on the run, you got it your way
Now Im feeling pretty good and Im beginning to sweat
Your love is so fine, its got me feelin alright
Going out of my mind, I got to have you tonight
The girls so deep inside, like blood in my veins
Never lets me hide, now Im going insane
It makes me climb the walls, bite my nails to the bone
Its always by my side, it never leaves me alone
Chorus:
When its time to get tough, Im masculine (masculine, masculine)
When she wants to play rough, Im masculine (masculine, masculine)
Masculine
I know that Im a man from the spark in my soul
It can make me so hot, you got out of control
Grab her by the hair, drag her back to your cave
Its what makes a man a man, people always stay the same
(chorus)
Im masculine
(masculine, masculine)
(repeats)
Anytime, anyplace, anyway, in the heat of the nite and in the dark of the day
Anytime, anyplace, anyway
When its time to get tough, Im masculine (masculine, masculine)
When she wants to make love, Im masculine - what dyou say?
When she wants to make love, Im masculine
When she wants to play rough, Im masculine (masculine, masculine)
When she wants to make love, Im masculine (masculine, masculine)
If you push me Ill shove, Im masculine
When she wants to play rough, Im masculine
When she wants to make love, Im masculine...
(to fade)
song performed by by Meat Loaf
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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She alone can judge
.
Who is masculine?
He, with the muscles of Hercules,
Or he, with the valour of Ulysses.
Who is masculine?
He, who swayed like Asoka, the Emperor,
Or he, who bullied like Hitler, the Dictator
Who is masculine?
He, who seduced so many,
Or he, who reproduced many
Who is masculine?
He, who lived in many sweet-hearts,
Or he who loved many sweet-hearts
Who is masculine?
He, who sent her to orgasm,
Or he, who held her to his bosom
Who is masculine?
He, who courted anything feminine
Or he who excited anything feminine
Who is masculine?
She alone can define,
The Empress, of her domain.
27.06.97
.
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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I don't like jokes in speeches. I do like wit and humor. A joke is to humor what pornography is to erotic language in a good novel.
quote by James Humes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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All the Jokes
All the jokes have already been told
And so instead, we tell jokes about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
So instead we tell jokes about how
All the new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
Because they remind us about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these jokes get old very quickly
So we make up new jokes about how
The jokes about the new jokes about how
All the jokes that have already been told
Are starting to get quite old
But after a while, once these jokes
Have gotten quite old themselves
We sit and listen to the silence
And wonder about the past, and how
All the jokes have already been told
Then suddenly, out of nowhere
Somebody comes up with a joke
That had been forgotten long ago
But is so funny we can't even breathe
So we roll on the floor, gasping for air
poem by Derek Ouyang
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Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.
quote by Romain Gary
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue.
quote by Hermione Gingold
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If the joke's at your expense
If the joke's at your expense... don't ask for the bill
Take the blows smiling... and then go for the kill!
Sarcasm screaming loud...outta my head
Laugh's cruel acid rain... Leaves mind dead
When a smile turns to smirk
It gets too bloody dark
Dark humor, Devil's grin
Tranquility of liquid sin
At times, you know, smiles can make
One Cry and break High hopes, STILL make
You, the butt of all jokes that they crack
poem by Saurabh Som
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I'm not really big on slapstick humor. I like gentle humor.
quote by Anjelica Huston
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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4. Elements – Earth
Earth, The mother, the container
The container of life, future
Materialism, Sensuality
Fertility, Humor
Different names, in different philosophies
Balance of both yin and yang
The feminine and masculine together
Primal spirit, the yellow dragon
Pentacle the weapon,
Uriel the archangel
Phorlakh the angel
Kerub the ruler
Ghob the king
Taurus, Capricorn, Virgo
Children of earth
Calm, practical, pragmatic,
Responsible and cautious
Stubborn, intolerable and inflexible
Earth, Gaia, Prithvi,
The mother, the container
The prison, the solace
poem by Anand Dixit
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Essence Of Sense Of Humor
It’s the rarest of the commodities
It’s a gift possessed by few
Yes I’m talking about sense of humor
It has an essence that’s absolutely new
People having this rarest quality
Can turn the things all upside down
Making a mockery of most serious cases
They would hardly let you frown
That’s the color it brings to life
That’s the essence of sense of humor
The energy it brings to others and self
Is way beyond all jokes and rumor
You can master the circumstances
You can nullify the negativity
You need not be a professional
It’s only a matter of creativity
It diffuses the negative energy
And infuses the positive
It gives us a new direction
To be a little more sensitive
All tears can turn to smiles
With a small pinch of humor
People will remember you forever
That’s the essence of sense of humor.
poem by Sumeet Mukherjee
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The most casual examination will reveal the fact that all the jokes about the horrible results of masculine cooking and sewing are written by men. It is all part of a great scheme of sex propaganda.
quote by Heywood Broun
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There Used To Be Days
There used to be days,
when i was a witty and humorous guy,
that i could make people laugh,
until they start to cry,
and i would often create stories
filled with such a humor and joy,
that everybody would ask me
how can u do it every time oh boy.
There used to be days....
Often i would tell things in such a way,
and often i would act in such a way,
that nobody could resist to laugh,
however hard they may try,
and even if it would be late for the day,
and even if i would be done for the day,
people used to hold me by hand,
and they wont let me say good bye.
There used to be days....
While i was cruising really very fast,
one day something happened that almost broke me apart,
and in those few hours of storm,
i lost whatever wit and humor i ever had,
i thought the things would improve,
but nothing happened as the days passed by,
and i the witty and humorous guy became a silent and shy guy.
but there used to be days...
now nobody laughs at my jokes,
however hard i may try,
and in such a despaired state i am,
that for myself often i cry,
But my heart says to me, keep on giving a try,
life would flip again someday,
and people would again start to laugh at my jokes,
whenever any i will say,
but till now only i can say
that there used to be days...
poem by Sunny Mittal
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Weapons of Mass Destruction
The Holy Roman Empire and Alexander The Great
Exterminate the globe, with extreme prejudice,
A Weapon of Mass Destruction
The European Inquisition, A Weapon of Mass Destruction
The Holy Christian Crusades, A Weapon of Mass Destruction
The Manifest Destiny and land expansion, A Weapon of Mass Destruction
Globalization and commercialization of the many rain forests,
A Weapon of Mass Destruction
Comprehensive sanctions is economic violence,
A Weapon of Mass Destruction
The procreation of religion and God, A Weapon of Mass Destruction
Democratizing the whole world, A Weapon of Mass Destruction
The extermination of The Iroquois Confederation, A Weapon of Mass Destruction
World domination the salvation of, A Weapon of Mass Destruction
War, is the greatest Weapon of Mass Destruction
The justification for annihilation of, The Constitution
The constitution of retribution, the absolution of, A Weapon of Mass Destruction.
poem by Josephine DixonBanks
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Humor can be an incredible, lacerating and effective weapon.
quote by Carl Hiaasen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Probably it is impossible for humor to be ever a revolutionary weapon. Candide can do little more than generate irony.
quote by Lionel Trilling
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Right before your eyes
I'm a defender of crimes
Right before your eyes
Voters let us all be hypnotized.
Be lead defenders of lies
As city bankers wink with a grin
Let us scratch and toil - cry
In a unheated bathtub
Numb, let us bathe cold to save.
Darn your pockets dear
But there's no money, here
Save the bones
Of an old Christmas turkey
Oh I'm a defender of crimes
Right before your eyes
Voters let us all be hypnotized.
Be lead defenders of lies
As city bankers wink with a grin
Let us scratch and toil - cry
In selfish solitude till we die
Baby don't you cry baby there's
A chance…? We'll buy a lottery ticket
And ride-out our last chance again
And maybe save our souls the pain.
What more can I say
When the bailiffs
Have more roots in our home today
Than us or the bird perched
In the broken bay-window here to stay
Because I've blown all our money away
On beer and scratch cards they'll say…
Oh I'm a defender of crimes
Right before your eyes
Voters let us all be hypnotized.
Be lead defenders of lies
As city bankers wink with a grin
Let us scratch and toil - cry
Jesus, tell me what's gone wrong…?
The saints preserve us;
Our time left won't be long
In selfish solitude let us die
In selfish solitude let us die
In selfish solitude let us die.
poem by Mark Heathcote
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Smile and Grin
Smile even when the path is rough
Grin even when the competition is tough
Smile when the battle is fierce
Grin when the words[truth] pierce
Smile as the head aches in severe pain
Grin as your hard work brings no gain
Smile to the bank when the figures there are few
Grin to tank when all in it is dew
Smile with your siblings in sorrow
Grin with the tidings that says you borrow
Smile when you pursue but you seem lazy
Grin when the future seems hazy
Smile just as a love is lost
Grin though the cost is a lot
Smile as you lose your freedom
Grin as you belong to the thorn's kingdom
Smile when you fall into a ditch
Grin when you encounter a hitch
Smile when locked lies you door
Grin when you appear climbing but still lay on the floor
Smile when situations are not conforming
Grin when circumstance is not reforming
Smile when dreams are not becoming goals
Grin when goals are leading you to gaol
Smile as the flight to wealth is delayed
Grin as the bad news is relayed
Smile for your foes and enemies
Grin as you await your nemesis
Smile as you pay for what you bought not
Grin as you say words you thought not
Smile when you meet with a cheat
Grin when you move like a watch the speed of cheetahs
Smile as you pass through the journey of perseverance
Grin as you wish but must dwell in temperance
As a smile is a confidence of change
and Grin, an outward symbol for revolution residing within range.
poem by Adedolapo Olisa
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I don't think I could ever do a network sitcom because the humor is often based on some trite circumstance. I don't want to be a part of a show where it's mostly about coming up with the jokes.
quote by Sherilyn Fenn
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There's nothing masculine about being competitive. There's nothing masculine about trying to be the best at everything you do, nor is there anything wrong with it. I don't know why a female athlete has to defend her femininity just because she chooses to play sports.
quote by Rebecca Lobo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If you wish to make a man look noble, your best course is to kill him. What superiority he may have inherited from his race, what superiority nature may have personally gifted him with, comes out in death.
quote by Alexander Smith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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