I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
quote by Jeff Foxworthy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
For A Round Of Golf
For leisure the game that so many do play
For a round of golf 'tis a beautiful day
By the wide slow flowing river that crawls to the sea
Men and women practice their strokes before their evening tea.
As a boy I believed hobby golfers had easy jobs
And that those who enjoyed golf were well to do snobs
But such antiquated thinking not relevant today
As all kinds of classes the game of golf play.
A beautiful day for a beautiful game
For most hobby golfers with no aspirations to fame
After work they go to the golf course in the evening sun
And play the eighteen holes for the sake of fun.
Of the praises of golf everybody doesn't sing
But for the participants a game without physical contact can be such a fun thing
In the golf course by the river that to the sea crawl
The crack of the iron on the stone hard golf ball.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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IT's THE GOLF BALL OR ME
TIGER TIGER IN THE WOODS
Hit the ball as U should
Ere the Golf Stick skidded
And U in the Woods ended
Tiger Tiger your fame spread far and wide
Many a wallop in joy you with your family cried
Alas your 'misses' your family dread
And many a tear dropp you dead
Tiger Tiger in the Woods the time has come
When Your Wife has given you ultimatum
It's either me or GOLF you choose
And mend your ways or both your loose
'On my terms' if U want the kids and me
Coz I love you so much honey
I am not to touch the GOLF BALL
NOT for LOVE or for MONEY....
TIGER TIGER IN THE WOODS.
poem by Intensive KS1
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Check My Machine
(Spoken) Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones
But Names Will Never Hurt Me
Check My Machine
Check Check Check Check Check My Machine
Check My Machine
Check Check Check Check Check My Machine
(Repeat) -
I Got A Woman A Long Time Ago
I Had Trouble
I Want You To See What You Can See
Check My Machine
Check Check Check Check Check My Machine
Check My Machine
Check Check Check Check Check My Machine
(Ad Lib)
I Want You To Check Check Check Check Check My Machine Check Check Check Check Check My
Machine
(Ad Lib)
Check Check Check Check Check My Machine
(Repeat)
song performed by by Paul McCartney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Papa And Me
Papa and me are good friends
We do all kinds of things together
He doesn't like to tell me no
no matter what the weather
Sometimes we just throw a ball
sometimes he watches me ride my bike
Sometimes we play video games
But hitting golf balls is what we really like
He Say's if I practice hard enough
I could be the next Tiger Woods
The equipments not cheap and I have to work hard
But some day I will have the goods
I love my papa with all my heart
He's my very best friend
He always makes time to play with me
And we will be friends to the end
Dedicated to my husband Chuck and our grandson Brendan! ! !
Dianna Nally
3/12/08
poem by Dianna Nally
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Golf Tees Lament
Golf tees on my dresser
Golf tees in my bed
Golf tees on my pillows
Where they poke me in my head
Golf tees in my closet
Falling from my shirts and pants
Golf tees along the baseboards
Just like army ants
Golf tees in the carpet
And underneath my feet
Golf tees lined up on the mantle
Oh, they look so neat
Golf tees in my couch
And in my back and thighs
When I sit and watch TV
I feel those little guys
Golf tees in the kitchen
In Jurassic coffee mugs
Sometimes when I pass them
They look like prehistoric bugs.
Golf tees in the bathtub
Like sailors on plastic ships
Golf tee in her make-up
Like little bald q-tips.
Golf tees in the attic
Golf tees in the shed
Golf tees, golf tees everywhere
I wonder where they bred?
Golf tees out the backdoor
Like Hansel-and-Gretel’s trails
Golf tees in the flowerbeds
Among the mulch and snails
Golf tees in my car
And underneath the mats
Golf tees in the backseat
Like little baseball bats
But when I am at the golf course
I ask my partner, like a louse…
“May I borrow some of your tees? ”
I left mine at the house!
poem by Larry Buddin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I get to play golf for a living. What more can you ask for - getting paid for doing what you love.
quote by Tiger Woods
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The majority of people who buy homes in golf course communities don't play golf. Golf is way down at the bottom in terms of total numbers and growth.
quote by Ed McMahon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
quote by William Wordsworth
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Don't force your kids into sports. I never was. To this day, my dad has never asked me to go play golf. I ask him. It's the child's desire to play that matters, not the parent's desire to have the child play. Fun. Keep it fun.
quote by Tiger Woods
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Get Around
Round round get around
I get around
Yeah
Get around round round I get around
I get around
Get around round round I get around
From town to town
Get around round round I get around
Im a real cool head
Get around round round I get around
Im makin real good bread
Im gettin bugged driving up and down the same old strip
I gotta finda new place where the kids are hip
My buddies and me are getting real well known
Yeah, the bad guys know us and they leave us alone
I get around
Get around round round I get around
From town to town
Get around round round I get around
Im a real cool head
Get around round round I get around
Im makin real good bread
Get around round round I get around
I get around
Round
Get around round round oooo
Wah wa ooo
Wah wa ooo
Wah wa ooo
We always take my car cause its never been beat
And weve never missed yet with the girls we meet
None of the guys go steady cause it wouldnt be right
To leave their best girl home now on saturday night
I get around
Get around round round I get around
From town to town
Get around round round I get around
Im a real cool head
Get around round round I get around
Im makin real good bread
Get around round round I get around
I get around
Round
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Round round get around
I get around
Yeah
Get around round round I get around
Get around round round I get around
Wah wa ooo
Get around round round I get around
Oooo ooo ooo
Get around round round I get around
Ahh ooo ooo
Get around round round I get around
Ahh ooo ooo
Get around round round I get around
Ahh ooo ooo
song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Get Around
Round round get around
I get around
Yeah
Get around round round I get around
I get around
Get around round round I get around
From town to town
Get around round round I get around
I'm a real cool heel
Get around round round I get around
I make a real good thrill
I'm gettin' bugged driving up and down the same old strip
I gotta finda new place where the kids are hip
My buddies and me are getting real well known
Yeah, the bad guys know us and they leave us alone
I get around
Get around round round I get around
From town to town
Get around round round I get around
I'm a real cool heel
Get around round round I get around
I make a real good thrill
Get around round round I get around
I get around
Round
Get around round round oooo
Wah wa ooo
Wah wa ooo
Wah wa ooo
We always take my car cause it's never been beat
And we've never missed yet with the girls we meet
None of the guys go steady cause it wouldn't be right
To leave their best girl home now on Saturday night
I get around
Get around round round I get around
From town to town
Get around round round I get around
I'm a real cool heel
Get around round round I get around
I make a real good thrill
Get around round round I get around
I get around
Round
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Round round get around
I get around
Yeah
Get around round round I get around
Get around round round I get around
Wah wa ooo
Get around round round I get around
Oooo ooo ooo
Get around round round I get around
Ahh ooo ooo
Get around round round I get around
Wah wa ooo
Get around round round I get around
Wah wa ooo
song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ariel Tiger Woods Play Off
Tiger Woods golf superstar, sex scandal entrepreneur
boasts as winner, of 14 major, golf championships
dominant golf superstar, and sex scandal entrepreneur
allegedly has,14 women, mistress confessionals
but rocker rookie Peterpan, is a less discrete man
boasting to have stroked, more birdies in the hand
his reputation surpasses, Tiger Woods for mistresses
his video proofs run reckless, regardless of consequences
Ariel Peterpan boasts,25 videos, with Indonesian female celebrities
surpassing Tiger Woods, by conquering a harem, of 25 celebrities
Luna Maya and Cut Tari, among videoed conquered, concubine cream
how many women, did Ariel Peterpan not record, falling on his sword?
poem by Terence George Craddock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Clubs For Lonely People
Wouldn't it be enough
To have magic golf clubs
For lonely people
That would get them friends ample
Whenever they went to play
Using those golf clubs any given day?
I am free to dream
Of a simple magical scheme
To solve a hard to fathom,
Serious problem.
poem by Lonely People Champion
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Throw The Groove Down
Key:-a - anita r - ray
A: check, check. check, check it out yoll
Oyeah....
R: come on yoll
A: I want you to, I want you to
I want you to turn on the groove
You guys are un..un..unbelievable
R: the feeling is fine you throw down the line
The beat, the lyrics are to combined
Tonight tonight is meant to be wild
Doing it to a level that feels alright
cause were the ones yes the dancefloor fillers
Dont like crime, dont like killers
Come on over what you trying to fool
Nothing alright then throw down the groove
A: throw the groove the down
Spining round and round
We race them, we gotta pump, we cant cant get loose
Throw the groove down
Spining round and round
We turn it up, not gonna stop
Just throw down the groove
R: you know that the best things in life are free
But if you dont make sure that you get a receipt
Like my man bob marley said stand up for right
Dont give the fight if you help me almight
I think theres no time for no childs play
In the playground or perhaps another day
cause I in effect cause I coming in smooth
In other words throw down the groove
A: throw the groove the down
Spining round and round
We race them, we gotta pump, we cant cant get loose
Throw the groove down
Spining round and round
We turn it up, not gonna stop
Just throw down the groove
A: spinning round and round
Come on yoll
Ho....! throw the groove down
R: come on yoll
A: hay.... come , come, come, come on yoll
A: throw the groove down
Repeat and fade
song performed by by 2 Unlimited
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Whose Words These Are Only God Knows
WHOSE WOODS THESE ARE ONLY GOD KNOWS
Whose woods these are only God knows
Sparse and bare the trees
A pleasant morning in the hottest time of the year-
My task here is no more-
The man I took care of for one year and one half is in his grave
His kind and good wife said goodbye
With a gift for my daughter and her child
And a compensation check for me.
What Promises are there for me to keep now?
In these last years
Before I too fade and die?
The woods are light and small
And the Developers will soon be here-
I look up out at the Hill of the Holy city
A soft calm wind blows-
Never have I been so still inside-
And miles to go before I sleep?
The City sad and light and deep.
poem by Shalom Freedman
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Black Capricon Day
Hey hey
Hey hey
Let the rain come down on me
Hey, hey, hey, hey
I see people and theyre craving blood
And Im so rarely understood
Well I dont know what they want from me,
Its gonna take sometime just to let them see
Im going through a black, hey capricorn day
And though it doesnt seem so
Im going through a black hey capricorn day
Though you want to check me out
Im not the man to play, play, play, play.
Hey hey
Dont you see Im not the man to play
Hey hey
No way you can play with me today
Hey hey
Just let me sing it to my capricorn day
Hey hey
My heart is a pure sun and the sky is black
And I can feel cold steel when I turn my back
It stings like needles, with a jagged tongue
You know this scream reminds me
Of when I was so young
I never had any of those
Black hey capricorn days
Though it doesnt seem so
Ive got to get this way
Im going through a black hey capricorn day
And though you want to check me out
Im not the man to play, play, play, play
Its just to black for me
Its just too black
Im stuck on the highway
Leading straight to hell
Like any other drifter with a soul to sell
You know Im dealing with the devil
In everyone I meet
And their faces tell a story,
That life aint so sweet
Im going through a black, hey capricorn day
And though it doesnt seem so
Im going through a black hey capricorn day
Though you want to check me out
Im not the man to play, play, play, play.
Hey hey
song performed by by Jamiroquai
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I love to play golf, and that's my arena. And you can characterize it and describe it however you want, but I have a love and a passion for getting that ball in the hole and beating those guys.
quote by Tiger Woods
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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True Friend <3
A real friend is someone who walks in when everybody else walks out,
A real friend shares all the good times and helps you in the bad,
A real friend knows all about you but loves you anyway,
A real friend is like a star, you dont always see them, but you know they're always there,
A real friend is like a diamond, precious and rare,
A real friend can tell you things you don't want to tell yourself,
A real friend reaches for your hand, but touches your heart
A real friend is like a 4-leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have,
A real friend thinks you're a good egg even though you're half cracked,
A real friend is very difficult to find, hard to leave and impossible to forget
poem by Caoimhe Daly
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Do you know what happens when you slice a golf ball in half Someone gets mad at you. I found this out the hard way.
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I don't like going to the mall. I'm not really like the other girls. I just like to go out on the golf course and play. Golf is fun and feels really good.
quote by Michelle Wie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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