I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: ""Oh well,"" and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.
quote by Benny Hill
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Smokin The Herb Again
Yo yo yo, yo, yo yo what
Smoking
Were smoking, were smoking the herb again
Were smoking, were smoking, were smoking the herb again
Were smoking, were smoking, were smoking the herb again
Were smoking, were smoking, were smoking the herb again
Damn, I really wish I could find my sack man
Must have got eaten by pac-man
If I had it I could smoke again
Smoke with my friends to the very end
But now Im trying to comprehend
Whens the next time that Ill smoke again
I need to know, please tell when will we smoke again
I got a buddy, his name is ted
Hes got a problem going through his head
He doesnt know how to puff puff give
But I like so Ill teach him and Ill let him live
Everyday we teach him right
When he divides, we have to fight
But at the end of the trying day
We says its ok and we puff away
Just the other night, I saw you, you were smokin not sharing and being tight
But thats ok, you are my friend, well smoking until the very end
The lessons that we put out, we order you to try it out
Its nice to smoke, yea thats what were all about
Smoking
Were smoking, were smoking the herb again
Were smoking, were smoking, were smoking the herb again
Were smoking, were smoking, were smoking the herb again
Were smoking, were smoking, were smoking the herb again
Hey, ho, hey ho, hey, ho, hey, ho, hey, ho, hey, ho
I smoke, you smoke, we smoke, they smoke, smoking everywhere
I smoke, you smoke, we smoke, they smoke, smoking all together
Smoking
Were smoking, were smoking the herb again
Were smoking, were smoking, were smoking the herb again
Were smoking, were smoking, were smoking the herb again
Were smoking, were smoking, were smoking the herb again
song performed by by Incubus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Unwanted Gift.
Carmody said
what did you get
your old man
for his birthday?
well
you said
my sister and I
saved up
what money we could
siphoned off
some of our pocket money
took back
the empty beer bottles
to the off licence
did extra chores
for our mother
and went bought him
some cigarettes
and gave them to him
what did he say?
Carmody asked
said he didn't smoke
that kind
said they made
his throat sore
that was what he said?
yes and my sister
was upset of course
and went off
to her room to cry
but I just said
but it's the thought
that counts
and we just thought
you'd smoke the cigarettes
look ok thanks
for the thought
the old man said
and took the packet
and stuffed them
in his pocket
and read
the birthday card
we'd both written him
and put it on the table
and said
how much did you get
on the empty bottles?
so I told him
and he said
they were my bottles
I ought to
have had the money
for them kid
you have
I told him
In the form
of the cigarettes
what did he say
about that?
Carmody asked
he just stared
and took the cigarettes
out and opened them up
and lit one
and inhaled
and coughed
and I thought
good job too
and walked away
and Carmody
nodded his head
and sniggered
and you went off
with him to kick
around the ball
in the playground
at school
and said nothing
much more at all.
poem by Terry Collett
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Marlboro Olympics
We all know of the Olympics
For athletes who are fit
What if we organised new games
And changed the rules a bit?
The tournament - its now unfair
Only the best compete
And all those who're less able
Could never win a heat.
So let our new rules equalise
The young 'n old and slow 'n fast
And let's introduce some new sports
In which the fittest may come last.
We will all compete on equal terms
In worldwide competition
No - this is not an empty dream
But a new Olympic vision.
We need to find us something
That the fittest do not do
And make it central to our games
The Olympics born anew.
We shall introduce some new sports
And new rules for the rest
But what will change above all else
Is smoking cigarettes.
Yes! The Marlboro Olympics!
Or whoever else will pay
To support our global smoking sports
And a more level field of play.
We've already got a logo
Entwined smoke rings in the sky
Just like those Olympic rings
But more pleasing to the eye.
The opportunity's enormous!
Just imagine that you're there
Oh the beauty of gynastics
With smoke swirling in the air!
Or in those cycle races
Where bottled water cyclists get
Now handed out throughout the race
Are successive cigarettes.
And in all the relay races
Where batons are exchanged
The baton will be lighted
With a filter tip arranged.
Sports like darts we'd showcase
And maybe dominoes
With beer on tap at every point
To make the action flow.
A new sport - extreme smoking
Would stimulate interest
In the finer points of coughing
And of wheezing in the chest.
The Olympic flame we'd stick with
It fits the whole concept
And we'd market special lighters
To publicise events.
For the sports that we're developing
We've got a site upon the net
So don't be slow - get thinking
And maybe light a cigarette.....
(pause - embarassed cough)
But while writing this i've had a thought
A shameful thought for me
If smokers pursued fitness
Then from smoking they'd be free.
poem by David Keig
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Looking for Encouragement in ICU
He's gone
I never saw him go
Surprised that he fell
I thought he would get up
At first he looked like he'd be OK
He was upset that he'd slipped
Confused that the legs hadn't held
The strength that steadied
The foot and braced the legs
Held at the smoker in 1932
When three solid lefts
Couldn't take him down
Held when the Hammond trim saw kicked
Held on the wet rocks of Redwood Creek
When the salmon jumped and were on
Held splitting a second cord of wood
While after loading the first
I thought I needed a break
Now when he needed it most
They didn't hold they gave
Yet he somehow still held on
Over the ledge I could see him there
He was pulling himself up
Or at least I wanted him to
I tried to talk to him
I got his attention
He silently shook his head
The same as when we hunted
When I thought I had a clear shot
And he knew I didn't
He always challenged me
No matter what I did
To be a better shot
'We're not out here to wound
Chase down a revine then
Drag bloodshoot venison through the brush.
We're out here to put meat on the table.'
He also knew when to fish
And where the quail hid
He always encouraged me
To know what I was doing
Before I did it
'Its real important you learn
The difference between your ass
And a hole in the ground.'
Was his way
Of putting it
I knew what he meant
Shaking his head I recognized his signal
I still wanted to help even though
I couldn't have gotten to him anyway
Then he stopped trying
The strength and gruffness were gone
I was mad at him
For the tears in his eyes
For not trying
For knowing more than me
He knew there was no way up
The others calling to him
Were of no use
I knew then what he wanted
To push away from the side
To be over and done with it
He was caught tangled held back
He couldn't even let go
When he wanted to
I looked and he was there
I couldn't help
I didn't want to watch
I looked again
He was gone
I never saw him go
poem by Tom J. Mariani
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Pot Farmer
I got out my pipe and stuffed it with pot
You better believe, it held a whole lot.
I whipped out a lighter and thumbed up a flame
Then sucked down that smoke which comforts my brain.
I tried alcohol; and smoked cigarettes
Though, they did nothing, but give me regrets.
My mom had arthritis and couldn't walk around
When I rolled her a joint, she danced on the ground.
I thought I was losing my lovemaking knack
But, after I smoked some, to me it came back.
Soon I decided prices were too high
So I searched for some ground I wouldn't have to buy.
I bargained for seeds from smokers all around
Then, got in my truck and drove out of town.
I walked through the woods where the wild birds nest
And found me the meadow I thought was the best.
I dug up the ground and sowed all my seeds
Then said a small prayer for strong, healthy weeds.
I watered at night with a five-gallon pail
The mosquitoes went hungry for I wore a veil.
Seven months went by; I thought I would die
Till the Halloween moon was high in the sky.
One night I went out, in my camouflage suit
And used a corn knife to chop down the loot.
I hung it up to dry where it couldn't be found.
Then came back and got it, when it had turned brown.
I trimmed off the buds, and stuffed them in bags
Called all my friends and passed out free drags.
In less then a week, my crop was gone!
But, I flew to St. Thomas with love hungry blonde.
poem by Tom Zart (2012)
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Nobody should smoke cigarettes - and smoking with an ulcer is like pouring gasoline on a burning house.
quote by Sara Murray Jordan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Death Wink Watches Smokers Burn Time
yes we knew you were smoking extra
stress does that reaction to corpus reasons
eat me drink me impact implications
smoking eat smoke inhale lit consequences
smoking lurks among thinner thinner drugs
produces need to infuse body in toxic soups
calm smokes in 4000 plus list chemicals
baby chemicals in addiction cigarettes
in need tobacco smoke kill victim bodies
smoking harmful over 50 known carcinogens
carcinogens cause cancer in inhaling humans
so many poisons rest delight to smoker graves
nice virgin new pack light up your cancer sticks
use as intended cigarettes sold legally crave favours
each need puff puff accumulates over time kills
so few products packaged so appallingly sold legally
tobacco companies out fox pending ongoing lawsuits
avoid health long term effects smoking responsibilities
what words could I pose what list pain suffering illnesses
exhaustive would stimulate horror in smoker smog minds?
what chemicals in cigarettes will people fear flee recognize?
rational mind puff is not addictive mind plead pax denials
poisons self inhaled leisure cruise smoker bloodstreams
recognize relate rat bait harmful disease dire consequences
poem by Terence George Craddock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I thought it was a gift.
They told me it was a gift;
they told me and I was so glad.
I put my heart and soul into it all,
cried tears and sweat so many beads of my own metallic crimson blood.
I gave it all; I thought it was a gift.
I worked longer than anyone I knew.
I worked harder.
I gave up so much more, I did so many things, all at the same time;
just so I could please them. I put their needs and wants over mine.
I gave it all; I thought it was a gift.
I thought that this was what they called fate,
I thought that this was what they called destiny.
I thought that I'd been given a gift for good.
I thought that gifts were supposed to bring joy, and happiness, and peace.
I gave it all, all because I thought it was a gift.
You never told me,
that one day I'd be sitting here,
questioning myself -
about how and why a God given gift, had suddenly turned
into a curse.
Granddad's Candy
Granddad offered candy
from a white paper bag
and you slowly took one
and put in your mouth
and the strong peppermint flavour
exploded on your tongue
as Granddad closed his eyes
and sank back
into his chair by the fire
and he said
if you go outside
to the john
be careful of the mutt
who sleeps there
and the spiders
which hang around
waiting for little boys
and look out
for the fairies
at the bottom of the garden
hidden amongst weeds
and you nodded
as you always did
and tried to swallow the candy
as fast as you could
and Granddad said
look over by the side
and pass me
the cigarettes and lighter
and don’t let
your grandmother see
or she’ll moan about me
and my breathing
and my heart
and you looked over the side
and picked up
his cigarettes and lighter
and brought them to him
and Gran said
from the kitchen
he’s not smoking
those cigarettes again is he?
And you said
looking at Granddad
hiding them behind his back
no Gran he’s just sucking
on a candy and he’s given me
one to suck and one to keep
and Granddad had his eyes
closed still
pretending to be asleep.
poem by Terry Collett
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Mad Gardener's Song
He thought he saw an Elephant,
That practised on a fife:
He looked again, and found it was
A letter from his wife.
'At length I realise,' he said,
The bitterness of Life!'
He thought he saw a Buffalo
Upon the chimney-piece:
He looked again, and found it was
His Sister's Husband's Niece.
'Unless you leave this house,' he said,
'I'll send for the Police!'
He thought he saw a Rattlesnake
That questioned him in Greek:
He looked again, and found it was
The Middle of Next Week.
'The one thing I regret,' he said,
'Is that it cannot speak!'
He thought he saw a Banker's Clerk
Descending from the bus:
He looked again, and found it was
A Hippopotamus.
'If this should stay to dine,' he said,
'There won't be much for us!'
He thought he saw a Kangaroo
That worked a coffee-mill:
He looked again, and found it was
A Vegetable-Pill.
'Were I to swallow this,' he said,
'I should be very ill!'
He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four
That stood beside his bed:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bear without a Head.
'Poor thing,' he said, 'poor silly thing!
It's waiting to be fed!'
He thought he saw an Albatross
That fluttered round the lamp:
He looked again, and found it was
A Penny-Postage Stamp.
'You'd best be getting home,' he said:
'The nights are very damp!'
He thought he saw a Garden-Door
That opened with a key:
He looked again, and found it was
A Double Rule of Three:
'And all its mystery,' he said,
'Is clear as day to me!'
He thought he saw a Argument
That proved he was the Pope:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bar of Mottled Soap.
'A fact so dread,' he faintly said,
'Extinguishes all hope!'
poem by Lewis Carroll
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Jesus Saves
Some people find Jesus
In the back of a old country church
Some find Him
In an worn out bible book
But I found Jesus
In the heart of a dear old friend
Just when I thought my life was over
Jesus gave back to me again
She told how He loved me
That He never walked away
For that's when I saw His love
In her eyes that very day
Oh how lucky I have been
To have a believer as a friend
For when I was lost and at my bitter end
She brought me back to Him
Just when I thought my life was over
Jesus gave it back again
Now when people ask me
If there really is a God
I just look them in the eye
Give them a simple nod
For if it wasn't for my friend and God
I wouldn't be here today
Just when I thought my life was over
Jesus gave it back that day
poem by David Kush
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Poor old Harry!
Harry looked in his mirror
and he didn't like what he saw
his hair was thin and Grey
in fact he didn't have a lot anymore.
Although he was now in his fifties
he wanted to appear trendy and young
so when he noticed his thinning locks
it upset him because he was highly strung.
So he decided to change his look
and he went and bought himself a wig
Harry began to dress like a teenager
and pumped Iron to build muscle real big.
His wife thought that he'd gone mad
or he was having a secret affair
but Harry thought he looked great
especially with his new dark hair.
He felt like a young man again
as he danced at the disco every Saturday
but one night he slipped a disc in his back
and a strong wind blew his toupee away.
So no longer could he lift any heavy weights
and he couldn't afford another costly wig
then all that muscle turned to fat
and he grew large and very big.
So Harry decided to just age naturally
but alas things didn't go according to plan
sadly his wife had her own mid-life crisis
and she ran off with a much younger man!
poem by Kevin Halls
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Thought I Was Going To Lose You
I thought that I was going to lose you
Just for a moment you looked like slipping away
And my only thought was to come with you
There was no other reason to stay
Now Im sinking in a river of happy returns
Though Im tired I can do nothing but sigh
For the greatest relief Im so thankful
As I gaze at your coming-back smile
Lord, I thought I was going to lose you
Yes, I thought I was going to lose you
song performed by by Chris Rea
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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and it was Her Summer
…And It Was Her Summer
“Go back to the children’s home, she said I have no work and
can’t afford to keep you” Late June afternoon she sat on a bench
with a man I didn’t know. The man smiled I didn’t like him, but
took the coins he gave me to buy an ice –cream for; I was still
hanging about so mother got up and slapped me across the face.
”Get lost you stupid boy! ” My face was burning I threw the coins
into the lake and ran away. When I stopped running it was night
and I could see sheep in a field, I was tired and cold, thought of
seeking shelter in a little wooden church, but it smelt of fear and
I thought of ghosts, so I walked on till I came to a workman’s hut
near the road, it was easy to get in; here the smell was of coffee,
and kind men in overalls, perhaps one of them were my father?
It was morning and warm sunlight when they came, they were not
angry, but gave me milk and bread and showed me the quickest
way to get home. The sky that day was enormous and from a hill
I looked down to the town, I could see the school building it must
have been early, no children in the yard; but I just sat there and
could not understand why my mother didn’t want to se me.
poem by Oskar Hansen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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No Common There (Fun Poem 72)
Some outside signs make you wonder
whose brain was in reverse
when they thought them up.
I walked along a promenade there was a sign,
which read No Smoking Zone.
A little further down
was a similar sign facing the other way.
Therefore, for twenty yards
you could not smoke between the signs.
You could smoke an inch before the sign,
but an inch further on
you would incur a hefty fine.
However, there was no sign
to tell the wind not to blow the smoke
into the direction of the smoke free zone.
Any person with a bit of common
could see no common there.
5 April 2008
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Strange Wild Song
He thought he saw an Elephant
That practised on a fife:
He looked again, and found it was
A letter from his wife.
"At length I realize," he said,
"The bitterness of life!"
He thought he saw a Buffalo
Upon the chimney-piece:
He looked again, and found it was
His Sister's Husband's Niece.
"Unless you leave this house," he said,
"I'll send for the police!"
he thought he saw a Rattlesnake
That questioned him in Greek:
He looked again, and found it was
The Middle of Next Week.
"The one thing I regret," he said,
"Is that it cannot speak!"
He thought he saw a Banker's Clerk
Descending from the bus:
He looked again, and found it was
A Hippopotamus.
"If this should stay to dine," he said,
"There won't be much for us!"
He thought he saw a Kangaroo
That worked a Coffee-mill:
He looked again, and found it was
A Vegetable-Pill.
"Were I to swallow this," he said,
"I should be very ill!"
He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four
That stood beside his bed:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bear without a Head.
"Poor thing," he said, "poor silly thing!
It's waiting to be fed!"
poem by Lewis Carroll
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Shirley MacLaine said, You're so funny, then gave me a hug. Everything went white. I couldn't hear, I couldn't see. I thought I was going to pass out.
quote by Lisa Kudrow
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Thought About You
Jimmy van heusen / johnny mercer
I took a trip on a train
And I thought about you
I passed a shadowy lane
And I thought about you
Two or three cars arked under the stars
A winding stream
Moon shining down on some little town
And with each beam, the same old dream
And every stop that we made, oh, I thought about you
When I pulled down the shade then I really felt blue
I peeked through the crack, looked at the track
The one going back to you
And what did I do? I thought about you
song performed by by Billie Holiday
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Like your heart dropped acid
And you know you're half broken; feels like your jutting ribs are cutting into you more every day. I don't have to watch your envy kick your pride in the balls. I don't have to listen as your enigma prevails in an argument with facts. A mind cast to the gallows, a Holocaust for your very own heart. You can roll those sunken eyes all you want, dearie.
Subtle at first. One smoke, two smoke, three smoke, four... And, karmic, no one ever questioned you about it as you had hoped, even though you had an answer for every cigarette. Overdoses and guns were too shocking; slitting wrists too much like a teenage girl. (Sometimes, I wonder if you forgot that's what you were.) Out-and-out suicide was wrong, you said, but it lost its sting if you strung it out over decades. All our old friends, the ones you started hanging out with again, the ones who quit smoking, they'll roll cigarettes for you. They love to roll cigarettes, and roll their earrings, and argue about anarchy. And you love them, and you love the cigarettes, the music, the sweat and patchouli, the panhandling, how their...your...minds always beat in straight time.
But you fell measures behind, and the music, the freight-hopping, the cigarettes, they mean nothing to you now. Everyone knows your beauty scars aren't from brambles or kittens, and that's the way you like it. You can only use that bleach as an excuse for hair caught in the drain for so long.
I'm listening to you recount your inner-battles, with all the vehemence of a wall flower, and I finally understand.
You just want to be beautifully fucked up. Or pretty, like your heart dropped acid.
poem by Claire Stuart
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Thought Id Seen Everything
(r.j. mutt lange/huey lewis)
(track 7 - time 3:58)
Here I am a single guy
Ive seen a lot in this crazy life
There you are, what can I say
I guess you took my breath away
Something in your eyes took me by surprise
cause when I looked at you something you do
Is telling me more than I ever knew, oh baby
I thought Id seen everything, til I saw you
I thought Id seen everything baby I thought I knew
Now here I am alone with you
What am I supposed to do
Should I stay or should I go
Something tells me I should know
Its something in your touch that makes me feel so much
You took me by surprise I realize
And now I cant believe my eyes, oh baby
I thought Id seen everything, til I saw you
I thought Id seen everything, baby I thought I knew
Ive been around the world, seen a lot of girls
In and out of love til I had enough
I thought I had everything, til I had you, oh baby
Baby let your lovin take me all the way
I thought Id seen everything, til I saw you
I thought Id seen everything, baby I thought I knew
I thought Id seen everything, oh baby
song performed by by Diamond Rio
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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