The Marlboro Olympics
We all know of the Olympics
For athletes who are fit
What if we organised new games
And changed the rules a bit?
The tournament - its now unfair
Only the best compete
And all those who're less able
Could never win a heat.
So let our new rules equalise
The young 'n old and slow 'n fast
And let's introduce some new sports
In which the fittest may come last.
We will all compete on equal terms
In worldwide competition
No - this is not an empty dream
But a new Olympic vision.
We need to find us something
That the fittest do not do
And make it central to our games
The Olympics born anew.
We shall introduce some new sports
And new rules for the rest
But what will change above all else
Is smoking cigarettes.
Yes! The Marlboro Olympics!
Or whoever else will pay
To support our global smoking sports
And a more level field of play.
We've already got a logo
Entwined smoke rings in the sky
Just like those Olympic rings
But more pleasing to the eye.
The opportunity's enormous!
Just imagine that you're there
Oh the beauty of gynastics
With smoke swirling in the air!
Or in those cycle races
Where bottled water cyclists get
Now handed out throughout the race
Are successive cigarettes.
And in all the relay races
Where batons are exchanged
The baton will be lighted
With a filter tip arranged.
Sports like darts we'd showcase
And maybe dominoes
With beer on tap at every point
To make the action flow.
A new sport - extreme smoking
Would stimulate interest
In the finer points of coughing
And of wheezing in the chest.
The Olympic flame we'd stick with
It fits the whole concept
And we'd market special lighters
To publicise events.
For the sports that we're developing
We've got a site upon the net
So don't be slow - get thinking
And maybe light a cigarette.....
(pause - embarassed cough)
But while writing this i've had a thought
A shameful thought for me
If smokers pursued fitness
Then from smoking they'd be free.
poem by David Keig
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Smokin The Herb Again
Yo yo yo, yo, yo yo what
Smoking
Were smoking, were smoking the herb again
Were smoking, were smoking, were smoking the herb again
Were smoking, were smoking, were smoking the herb again
Were smoking, were smoking, were smoking the herb again
Damn, I really wish I could find my sack man
Must have got eaten by pac-man
If I had it I could smoke again
Smoke with my friends to the very end
But now Im trying to comprehend
Whens the next time that Ill smoke again
I need to know, please tell when will we smoke again
I got a buddy, his name is ted
Hes got a problem going through his head
He doesnt know how to puff puff give
But I like so Ill teach him and Ill let him live
Everyday we teach him right
When he divides, we have to fight
But at the end of the trying day
We says its ok and we puff away
Just the other night, I saw you, you were smokin not sharing and being tight
But thats ok, you are my friend, well smoking until the very end
The lessons that we put out, we order you to try it out
Its nice to smoke, yea thats what were all about
Smoking
Were smoking, were smoking the herb again
Were smoking, were smoking, were smoking the herb again
Were smoking, were smoking, were smoking the herb again
Were smoking, were smoking, were smoking the herb again
Hey, ho, hey ho, hey, ho, hey, ho, hey, ho, hey, ho
I smoke, you smoke, we smoke, they smoke, smoking everywhere
I smoke, you smoke, we smoke, they smoke, smoking all together
Smoking
Were smoking, were smoking the herb again
Were smoking, were smoking, were smoking the herb again
Were smoking, were smoking, were smoking the herb again
Were smoking, were smoking, were smoking the herb again
song performed by by Incubus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Another Olympic Games For The Wealthy Only
Another Olympic games for the wealthy only doesn't life seem so unfair
In the Athens Olympic Stadium there won't be many there
Who live on a low income or struggle to get by on welfare
And who should win the medals why should I even care?
In life only the so called losers are those that interest me
The people who to circumstance must live in poverty
They won't be at the Olympics for to cheer their heroes on
Or to sigh in disappointment with hopes of a medal gone.
The Olympics ought to be re-named as the Games of Nationalistic Pride
And Athens 04 the destination of millionaires Worldwide
Waving their National flags and banners their patriotism on display
And that money speaks all languages is very relevant to today.
Another Olympic games for the wealthy only in a World of so much poverty
Just a vulgar show of wealth and Nationalistic pride at the opening and closing ceremony
And the have nots must feel content for to watch it on the t v
And which Nation's athletes are the most successful such things won't be worrying me.
poem by Francis Duggan
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Jim McKay
MUCH MORE THAN SPORTS
James Kenneth McManus
September 24,1921 – June 7,2008
We heard the, 'thrill of victory,
and the agony of defeat'
We all knew when he said it
That, we’d be in for a treat.
Through the, 'Wide World Of Sports'
He showed us places, never seen
From the North Pole to the South
And all of those, in between.
He spent years spanning the Globe
And brought us news and sports
And from the Olympics in Munich
He gave us all, those sad reports.
His passion was the sport of kings
Founder of the, 'Maryland Million Day'
His love of horses and their races
Lasting, until his final day.
A legend in the sports industry
But, he left us so much more
Showed, it’s how you play the game
It’s not how much, you score.
This World will be a lesser place
Without his great charm and wit
Yes, he surely will be missed
Much more, than just a little bit.
Del 'Abe' Jones
06.08.2008
'Mankind’s greatest accomplishment is not the revolution of technology it is the evolution of creativity ' copyright Del 'Abe' Jones 1984
The Olympic Games must not be an end in itself, they must be a means of creating a vast programme of physical education and sports competitions for all young people.
quote by Avery Brundage
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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To be candid with you, free agency hurts all sports. It's great for athletes making an enormous amount of money. But to say it helps the sports, I don't believe that.
quote by Jerry West
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The ultimate would be to compete in a couple more Olympics, hopefully break some world records and wind up my sports career with a couple of years in the WNBA.
quote by Marion Jones
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On The Retirement Of Ian Thorpe
I heard on the radio in the sports news today
That Ian Thorpe the great swimmer has give competitive swimming away
A winner of nine Olympic medals five of them gold
Of his greatness in story and song we've been told
Australia's greatest ever swimmer if not the World's best
He was never found to be wanting when put to the test
But at twenty four years he said enough for me
At the World Championships and the Olympics him we'll never more see
At the prime of his life one might say a young man
But at top competitive swimming top swimmers do not have a long span
In the World of swimming he is an all time great
And his world Championship and Olympic victories Aussies did celebrate
A world renowned swimmer since he was a boy
And life after competitive swimming may he now enjoy.
poem by Francis Duggan
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My main point in this regard was to compete for my country and my people and to receive the support of the entire Cuban society, to carry my flag in whatever competition I was in, the Olympic Games, Pan-American Games.
quote by Alberto Juantorena
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cricket Is Just Another Game
Cricket just like baseball and football and golf is just another game
And though some great cricket players have won Worldwide fame
Cricket for most cricket fans like followers of all other sports
From their life cares is just an escape of sorts
The praises of sports celebrities millions every day do sing
And nowadays sports Worldwide is a huge thing
And those not in some way involved in sport a minority
At least that is how it does seem to me
I've got nothing against cricket I'd like to make that clear
Though on t v and radio so much of it to see and hear
Like every sport for millions of poor people I am aware
A temporary escape from their lives every care
And cricket after all is just another game
Like every other sport it is much the same.
poem by Francis Duggan
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Chinese Style Olympia 2008
How great it was in Beijing Olympia
Wisdom and Intellect are it answers.
Used a lot of capitals and manpower
Most sports performed in a bird’s nest
Swimming sports were in a water cubic
Our concept was ‘one man, one dream’
Every body may have the same dreaming
No matter you are Chinese or guests
Bring the same heart to look for success
The starting day performed marvelous shows
Men and women made shapes of symbols
One day by one day different races were in safe
Chinese athletes happily raced with guests
Both the Chinese and the foreigners were happy
American athlete seemed like a swimming jet
He made excellent results gained 8 gold medals
Frog’s style swim champion is a Japanese king
Grouped winner named by the youth of Chinese
American athletes have won world’s success
There were many new and young athletes born
Different races were greatly gaining high results.
Competition was not the main purpose
Chinese needed the world’s united friendship
It’s why we build a nest you comes together
Let the peace forever consists for a whole world
poem by Albert Wong
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They wanted me to play more sports because they were acutely sensitive to their children being one hundred percent American, and they believed that all Americans played sports and loved sports.
quote by Martin Lewis Perl
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All pro sports, as well as the NCAA, should thank God every day we have sports betting here... We have the only agency in the world that regulates the honesty of games.
quote by Meyer Lansky
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sports Sports Sports Sports
I really love sports
Basketball, Baseball, Golf, Sports!
Sports are so so fun!
poem by Gabe Anderson
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One of my first jobs was at the Boston Globe. I worked in the sports department six months a year. When I was ready to graduate, the sports editor gave me a job as a schoolboy sports writer.
quote by Will McDonough
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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On hindsight
No one believes: in that well worn saying
It'll be all right on the night
Mention the five rings
or that the Olympics are coming to London
this much is absolutely certain
considerable panic and loads of hand wringing
Predictions of unfinished venues
Spiraling costs
Log jam
Gridlock
Pandemonium
Watch out
Ticket touts about
Journalists whipping up panic
over the threat of terrorists
Fiddlesticks!
99% of the Olympics
went off without a hitch
Sceptical killjoys had reminded:
'We're in the midst of a severe financial crisis
We can't afford this...! '
Still others had grumbled:
'60 State of the Art hospitals could have been built
instead of all this extravagance.....'
And, doom-sayers swore:
'London has unpredictable weather
creaking infrastructure
How will it cope?
Think! '
From nay
to cynical complaints of bloated commercialism
To yea
and, finally to - complete addiction
The moment the torch arrived from Greece
the mood of the Country changed completely
Through gale force winds and poring rain
people came out in their droves
to catch a glimpse
and, to celebrate a fleeting moment
The famed British rain
stayed away - in the main
and, London basked in the sun
Opening ceremony
Magnificent
Closing ceremony
An absolute triumph
Olympic park
Hats off
People of all races
Came together to celebrate
Where else do you find such unity?
No place else - unfortunately
Buy me tickets to some event
Any event
I want to tell my relatives
' I was there! '
Success at swimming, rowing, shooting
and much, much more
Sent us Brits zooming up the medals board
Thanks in part to lottery funding
arranged by John Major's govt.
From twenty-one to fifteen
within the blink of an eye
we were at no.5
No! No.4
Now,3
Tee hee
Thanks - Team GB
Olympic fever - complete!
A combination of dedicated athletes
Enthusiastic volunteers
Meticulous logistical planning
Panoramic views on our TV screens
Ensured a very successful Olympics
Congratulations London
The games were great
And. the way you represented
a slice of Britain's rich heritage
It's well-known tolerance
it's diverse multiculturalism -
you definitely did the Nation proud.
poem by Nayyar Shabbir Ahmad
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Soldiers to Sportsmen!
Fighting spirit never dies in man!
Man never sees wonder of his life;
Physical form of man is a miracle
That should be put to best use...!
This he has to remember before
Fight to the last to destroy all....!
Perhaps sports is created well
To satisfy warring talent for good!
Valour was decided by fight earlier....;
Fight was turned into sports in arena
That slowly turned into Olympic game
Starting from spear fight on horse back!
Soldiers turned into chivalrous knights,
Gladiators, national cadet corps, athletes,
Soccer, cricket and base ball players.....
Surely are far better than war soldiers!
poem by Ramesh T A
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Personal Best
There is a question controversial,
About the use of stimulants artificial,
By the sporting athletes, their performance,
In the sporting arena to enhance.
Sports icon Lance Armstrong,
Was stripped of his titles as wrong,
When the Tour de France cycling event he won,
For a record of seven times in a run.
He beat the malady-Cancer-with drugs,
And when his tests proved positive for drugs,
His fan-following world wide were shocked,
And all cancer patients with ire were up cocked.
All sports organizations consider the drugs unethical,
As they are subversive of fair play on a field level.
In sports the Olympic Motto is writ larger,
As CITIUS, ALTIUS, FORTIUS (faster, higher, stronger)
By which the athletes are invoked to win,
And break records in many a discipline.
Scientific training has also made contributions,
Added to which are the technological innovations,
Like the use of graphite in tennis racquets for playing,
And for the material in poles for pole-vaulting.
It is thus ethical to use such equipment for ranks,
And in mountaineering for the use of oxygen tanks.
These days there is an increasing competition,
And school children are driven by a compulsion,
To score better and better than their batch- peers,
Else, in the rat race they may be behind with tears.
For them to emerge as toppers, tutorials their lessons devise,
And some children use amphetamines to keep awake and revise,
Some students take coffee or tea or pills to keep in size,
Can these be called subversive and unethical wise?
It shouldn't be considered unsporting to use drugs,
Let all do their personal best in all things with drugs.
To ban all drugs and artificial stimulants—it is possible,
But to ban the spirit of competitiveness—it is impossible.
poem by Chandra Thiagarajan
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In The Summer Sun
We are burning in the summer sun
In water sports, we are having fun
In the summer vacation
We are in action
Playing many games
And learning many gems
Needed to decorate
This short life
With love and friendship
Courtesy and relationship
Life is a fun
When with a friend
Life is a race and we run
When a foe is behind
Or fiends all around
Live life with happiness abound
This month is June
We are burning in the summer sun
In water sports, we are having fun
poem by Shashikant Nishant Sharma
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Football, basketball, and the Olympic sports all have their problems with banned substances.
quote by Jim Sensenbrenner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Anti Tobacco
Walking down, I see half- burnt killer pipes,
Lying on the streets, after hurting many lives..
The silly lips who touch the burning devil,
Are to be dead soon, can't sign even their 'will'!
I see the teeth chewing the tobacco products,
In the surroundings of the stores of betel nuts..
There's one each in the corner of every street,
But dozens of people gathered around for the treat!
When it is printed on the box itself,
That smoking is injurious to health..
Why dare to smoke with a sip of tea?
And compete with the smoke clouds; How pleasing to see!
The Government fell through to make them aware,
They carry on smoking; None does care..
The roll of paper is burnt even by boys of sixteen,
To face the fatal consequences of nicotene..
One day, like the cigarette, your face would burn,
Diseases, cancers and then it is Death's turn..
And when you're being wished farewell on your deathbed,
Nothing but tears will reveal you regret..
One would ask 'How can you make the Death Prediction? '
I say, ' I'm clever enough to know the results of this worst addiction! '
For the sake of mankind, I would like to advise,
'Leave smoking, Behave wise! '
poem by Abhinit Chute
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