My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
quote by Erma Bombeck
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
You can talk about movies all you want, but I have this porcelain fetish. I've had it since I was a kid, because there were so many kids in my family, the only place I had any solace was in the bathroom.
quote by Linda Fiorentino
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Rent, Groceries And Gasoline
I used to live the luxury life
A new house, three cars to drive
Steppin' over the credit line
I was payin' a heavy price
It seemed more was never enough
So I called my creditor up
Said "All I need is that cadillac car,
I'm heading for a brand new start"
I was in way to deep
Straightened out my priorities
I'm a man of simple needs
Just rent, groceries, and gasoline
I got a trailer sturdy and cheap
Hot time, job work when I please
Goin' to Mexico next week
Gotta feel that ocean breeze
I might settle down sometime
Right now, it ain't on my mind
Got a pretty girl along for the ride
She's the adventurous kind
I got everything I need
Straightend out my priorities
I'm a man of simple means
Just rent, groceries, and gasoline
Got a full tank and some food to go
Check the map and we'll hit the road
In the flicker of the dashboard lights
I feel my life unwind
I got everything I need
Straightend out my priorities
I'm a man of simple means
Just rent, groceries, and gasoline
Rent, groceries, and gasoline
I need rent, groceries, and gasoline
Just give me rent, groceries, and gasoline
And I'm outta here!
song performed by by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Rent, Groceries, & Gasoline
I used to live the luxury life
A new house, three cars to drive
Steppin over the credit line
I was payin a heavy price
It seemed more was never enough
So I called my creditor up
Said all I need is that cadillac car,
Im heading for a brand new start
I was in way to deep
Straightened out my priorities
Im a man of simple needs
Just rent, groceries, and gasoline
I got a trailer sturdy and cheap
Hot time, job work when I please
Goin to mexico next week
Gotta feel that ocean breeze
I might settle down sometime
Right now, it aint on my mind
Got a pretty girl along for the ride
Shes the adventurous kind
I got everything I need
Straightend out my priorities
Im a man of simple means
Just rent, groceries, and gasoline
Got a full tank and some food to go
Check the map and well hit the road
In the flicker of the dashboard lights
I feel my life unwind
I got everything I need
Straightend out my priorities
Im a man of simple means
Just rent, groceries, and gasoline
Rent, groceries, and gasoline
I need rent, groceries, and gasoline
Just give me rent, groceries, and gasoline
And Im outta here!
song performed by by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Kids
Kids - kids, Christmas i-is for kids
Look around and you will see
Kids from one to ninety-three
Laughin', lovin' life and bein' kids
Kids - ki-i-i-ids, Christmas i-is for kids
Kids like you and little brother
Aunts and uncles, dads and mothers
Grandma, grandpa an' all the other kids
Daddy runs the 'lectric train
While all the children wait in vain
To take their turn
At playin' engineer
Grandpa catches grandma's cheek
And all the family sneaks a peak
And suddenly
Their wrinkles disappear
Take a look at Betty Joe
Underneath the mistletoe
Pretending that
She doesn't know it's there
And in the front yard Uncle Mike
Just fell off brother's brand new bike
There's Christmas cheer
And laughter everywhere
Kids (kids) - ki-i-i-ids (kids)
Christmas i-is for kids
Christmas time is here again
And now it's when the fun begins
This time of year we all turn into kids...
song performed by by Kenny Rogers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Rearranged
parked the car
reparked the car
bought groceries & paid the bill
in the cart she rearranges them
unpacked the groceries into the closet
she rearranges them
set the table and then –
she rearranges it
washed & stacked the dishes
she rearranges them
long ago I said I do –––
now I wonder who this person is
poem by Ben Gieske
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Going Back
i always find myself
going back
to where i am, on early
mornings, i promise
myself a brand new
beginning, a place where
i shall find myself
exciting, on a new venture
away from here, but i am
always at a loss
the irony of going far away
and not arriving
at what i perceived is my own place, and so
here i am again
watching same shame in the mirror
gazing at my own eyes
shocked that i have never changed,
regrets nesting in my head
lustful eggs hatching
in same shape of sinfulness
i wait until i am
to ash begotten.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Groceries
Once again, here in the grocery store line
All the stuff in the basket, is going to be mine
Can I afford this, or should I put it back?
Should I stock up, or carry out a small sack?
I know there are many mouths to feed
Do I buy much, or just what I need?
Sell the horse, and mortgage the farm
Got to buy groceries, sound the alarm
Why does food have to cost so much cash?
Why do groceries have to be my stash?
Here today and gone tomorrow
Fridge left empty, so much sorrow!
poem by Donna Nimmo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Grits Aint Groceries
If I dont love you baby,
Grits aint groceries,
Eggs aint poultry,
And mona lisa was a man.
All around the world
Id rather be a fly
And light on my babys head,
Ill stay with that
Woman til I die.
A toothpick in my hand,
I dig a 10-foot ditch
And ride through the jungle
Fightin lions with a switch,
Because ya know I love ya baby,
Well, you know I love you baby,
And if I dont love you baby,
Grits aint groceries,
Eggs aint poultry,
And mona lisa must-a been a man.
Well, its all around the world and I got
Blisters on my feet
A-tryin to find my baby,
A-bring her back to me.
If you see my baby,
I know shell be convinced.
If it dont send her back to me,
It just
Dont make no sense,
Because ya know I love ya baby,
Well, you know I love you baby.
If I dont love you baby,
Grits aint groceries and eggs aint poultry,
And mona lisa must-a been a man.
Well,
All around the world
I never will forget
I lost all my money, my woman and my pet,
But I got to have you baby,
I got to settle for nothin less,
Give up all my good time for the sake of happiness,
Because ya know I love ya baby,
You know,
You know I love you baby.
If I dont love you baby,
Grits aint groceries,
Eggs aint poultry,
And mona lisa must-a been a man.
I said, if I dont love you baby,
Grits aint groceries,
Eggs aint poultry,
And mona lisa must-a
Mona lisa must-a been a man.
Well,
If I dont love ya baby,
If
I dont love you baby,
If I dont love you baby,
Grits aint groceries,
And eggs aint poultry,
And mona lisa must-a been a man.
Mona lisa must-a been a man.
song performed by by Van Morrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Revenge is Sweet
I'm feeling very vengeful,
I really just can't wait,
Until the kids are older,
And in their married state.
It's then I'll get my own back
For all the things they've done;
For all the grief they've caused me,
And boy will it be fun.
When I am asked to baby-sit
I'll smile and say 'Okay, '
And then as soon as they are gone
I'll have my wicked way.
My evenings entertainment
Won't be to watch the telly;
I'll watch THEIR children daub the place
With yellow paint or jelly.
Of leaving every light on
I'll surely have my fill;
I'll make GRAND contributions
To THEIR electric-bill;
I'll search out every socket,
And fill it, and switch on;
I'll make that meter fly around
Or my name isn't John.
When I go to the bathroom,
And then I wash my hands,
I'll leave THEIR basin full of soap
And THEN they'll understand.
And as I leave I'll just make sure
The comb is full of hairs;
Just like it was in days gone by
When mine was full of THEIRS.
I'll have a happy time of it,
I'll really go to town;
I'll dirty all THEIR dishes
And leave them spread around.
I'll turn on every radio,
And leave them on full blast
Perhaps it will remind them
Of THEIR racket in the past.
And as I flit from room to room
I WILL NOT close a door;
It's better that those kids of mine
Don't know just what's in store.
I'll bounce down on THEIR sofa
And knock the cushions off;
And then I'll put my feet up,
And lie there like a toff.
And so I feel much better,
While waiting for my treat;
It won't be long 'til I can say:
'It's true... revenge IS sweet.'
Written Dec 1994
poem by John Carter Brown
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Space Between All Things
All the walls of your house,
were painted in deep blue,
you're at that indecisive age to choose colours that reflect you,
and everything and nothing,
is in the space between all things,
that fascinates as much as it agitates,
words turn me into what I say,
as you pull your yellow stained fingers,
through your un-kept hair,
I noticed that the corners of your jeans,
were folded neatly into squares,
your thoughts are the strangest place that you've ever been,
stranger even than Los Angeles,
it's like a cinema where they never ask you to leave,
So while you wait and are you wait,
and concentrate on being as far away,
from fate so while you wait,
and concentrate on being as far away,
She had a north Atlantic film star grace,
that's why her tears are out of place,
that kind sadness has more style,
so nothing will make her smile,
except as soon as anything happens,
she'll drag me on the street,
and hand in hand we stand protesting,
while everyone is still asleep,
So while you wait and are you wait,
and concentrate on being as far away,
from fate so while you wait,
and concentrate on being as far away,
so while you wait and are you wait,
and concentrate on being as far away,
from fate so while you wait,
and concentrate on being as far away,
Are you wait,
are you wait,
are you wait,
are you waaait,
song performed by by Idlewild
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The kids wait for it to be organized. They want to go play all of these tournaments, for a little practice time. I learned my skills by dropping the puck just with the kids. I think that's missing today.
The Kids
Written by jay kay and toby smith
Now were getting nasty
Everybody is talking about the kids
The kids have funky soul and groove emotion
But if you dont give the kids the chance to use it
Theyre always more than likely to abuse it
Kids get down, stormy weather, fifteen years of royal pleasure.
Everybodys talking about the kids
And its taking time for you to realise
Now hunger turns to anger in your eyes
I say the revolution will be televised, yes it will gil...
Everybodys talking about the kids
Kids get down, stormy weather, fifteen years of royal pleasure.
Kids get down underground, evrybody dance to the funky sound.
Everybodys talking about the kids
The kids need space to get their heads in place
And every day this world we have to face
Well I just cant seem to find my proper place
Kids get down, celebrate, now were gonna kick the thing we hate
Everybodys talking about the kids
It wont be long before we get our own
And every kid can truly feel at home
I told ya you should give the dog a bone.
Kids get down, pressurized, to live the life that you devised
Kids get down, celebrate, life is to short to complicate
Everybodys talking about school
But I get more pleasure breaking all the rules
Cos lesson one begins with life is cruel
Well I guess Im just an educated fool
Everybodys talking about the kids
Mom and dad make efforts to excuse it
Government officials will confuse it
Members of the bench will try to prove it
Youre going down sucker!
Everybodys talking about the kids now
Everybodys talking about the kids now
The kids got funky soul
Everybodys talking about high
But kids get high to satisfy
For reaching out to touch the sky
Is all I can identify, and you know why...
Kids get down, stormy weather, fifteen years of royal pleasure
Kids get down celebrate, now were gonna kick the thing we hate.
song performed by by Jamiroquai
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You know, Stephen says, in the movies no one ever goes to the bathroom. They shave, they brush their teeth. He goes right at this sort of funny taboo we have about the bathroom, and he turned it into this nightmare, you know, your worst fear of what's in there.
quote by Lawrence Kasdan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Facing Backwards, Upside Down
Girls bathroom, under water
Not a son, but a daughter
Facing backwards, upside down
Inside out, underground
I am in the wrong place
The wrong life
The dull side of the knife
I don't belong here
But I have no fear
I feel deep down inside
That if I just let it ride
The change will come about
Boys bathroom, above water
A son, not a daughter
Facing forward, downside down
Right side out, above ground
Put A Little Love In Your Heart
Think of your fellow man
Lend him a helping hand
Put a little love in your heart
You see its getting late
Oh, please dont hesitate
Put a little love in your heart
And the world will be a better place
And the world will be a better place
For you and me
You just wait and see
Another day goes by
And still the children cry
Put a little love in your heart
If you want the world to know
We wont let hatred grow
Put a little love in your heart
And the world will be a better place
And the world will be a better place
For you and me
You just wait and see, wait and see
Take a good look around
And if youre lookin down
Put a little love in your heart
And I hope when you decide
Kindness will be your guide
Put a little love in your heart
And the world will be a better place
And the world will be a better place
For you and me
You just wait and see
Put a little love in your heart
Each and every day
Put a little love in your heart
Theres got to be a better way
Put a little love in your heart
Dont you think its time we start
Put a little love in your heart
song performed by by Dolly Parton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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No Place Like Home
My friend's house is perfect,
they lead such perfect lives.
Curtains never out of place
and beds are made by 9.
The bathroom is in cream,
the toilet seat stays down.
There's tiny little ornaments
and soap balls all around.
My friend's house is perfect,
you dare not move a thing
for if you did they'd notice,
a tad embarrassing.
They dine at 6, no later
and then at half past eight
they have a cup of Earl Grey
and slithers of cream cake.
They talk of trivial matters,
the world evaporates.
Inside their house its perfect,
the world outside can wait.
That's why I run for cover,
right back here, alone.
It may not be quite perfect
but there's no place like home.
poem by Ruth Walters
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Kids Wanna Rock
Turned on the radio
Sounded like a disco
Musta turned the dial for a couple of miles
But I couldnt find no rock n roll
This computerized crap aint gettin me off
Everywhere I go the kids wanna rock
London to l.a.
Talkin bout the new wave
For a couple of bucks you get a weird haircut
And waste your life away
Around the world or around the block
Everywhere I go the kids wanna rock
Get me my d.j.
I got somethin hes gotta play
Wanna hear it I cant wait
So turn it up, turn it up...
Kick down the barricades
Listen what the kids say
From time to time people change their minds
But the music is here to stay
Ive seen it all from the bottom to the top
Everywhere I go the kids wanna rock
Around the world or around the block
Everywhere I go the kids wanna rock
Everywhere I go the kids wanna rock
song performed by by Bryan Adams
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Radio Station: Chico, Irish History Teacher Go Wild
(me)
hello!
(she) hi!
(me)
why you hi me for?
what are you doing?
(she)
i am a history teacher
professor
PH.D of that kind
my university
is a fancy catholic community
at the lake shore.
if you plan to put your kids
our kids
into plan
this the right place.
(me)
hoo! hoo!
irish teacher
are you advertizin on my show?
or are you E.R Vad zin zining trying to
make my show chineeze zin zen type of show?
or you are planning to have
kids
and lead them to your university
with my kids mixed them up
in the same class
of your damn history?
are you killing me?
or are you trying to irish me
with your gloried oiled Professional skills?
sorry woman,
i will give you a 'Z' as a grade
in your own class of latino irish.
because
first your kids
or future kids
wont go to class with my kids
never!
together!
impossible!
take a note and put it in your beard!
they will rice it up.
falaful it up
and end up
playing irish
bulls
in the class
and make a beautiful bull history.
so, tell me
beside you want kids
or you are teaching kids
what part of the history
you are teaching?
latino kids type of history or
''Rosevelt did not have enough time
to put american in one hand
and kids in his bulls in the other hand'' type of history?
is that right?
(she)
do you like to take my phone
or my number?
poem by Atef Ayadi
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Very Strange Medley (V.S.M.)
there's barkin' at the kitchen
yellin' in the hall
ringin' at the door bell
poundin' on the wall
kids out a sight
and kids in the way
no time to cook on this hectic day
come on,come on,come on
get a bucket of chicken
finger lickin' good
have a barrel of fun
goodbye ho-hum
say hello to your family
come on everyone
at Kuntukey Fried Chicken
have a barrel of fun
when ever you're driving
and where ever you're bound
like a good neighbor
State Farm is there
State Farm is there
State Farm is there
give your face somethin' to smile about
give your face somethin' to smile about
with stridex
doot, doo, doo
doo, doo, doo, doo,doo, doo
with stridex
I am stuck on a Band Aid
and a Band Aid's stuck on me
I am stuck on a Band Aid
and a Band Aid's stuck on me
I've got the bathroom bowl blues
I been meanin' to start cleanin' the bathroom
bowl
well, it's the lowdownest, bluest job in town
but tough green bowlene beats the bathroom
bowl blues
It's not a Cola
there's Colas by the score
so drink Doctor Pepper
the joy of ev'ry boy and girl
It's the most original soft drink ever in the
whole wide world
Doctor Pepper
Doctor Pepper
Doctor Pepper
Doctor Pepper
Join the Pepsi people
feelin' free,feelin' free
Join the Pepsi people
feelin' free,feelin' free
all across the nation
it's the Pepsi generation
here today
here to stay
feelin' free
So much life to be lived
so much reason to try
And when you feel it, You'll get
a certain feeling inside-aca
song performed by by Barry Manilow
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.
quote by Bill Cosby
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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