Using these toolkits is like trying to make a bookshelf out of mashed potatoes.
quote by Jamie Zawinski
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Skin & Bone
Fat flabby annie was incredibly big
She weighed just about sixteen stone
And then a fake dietician went and put her on a diet
Now she looks like skin and bone.
Do the meditation and yoga
And shes thrown away the good food guide
And shes given up the alcohol and pizzas
And the pies and now she looks as if shes ready to die,
You cant see her walk by.
Dont eat no mashed potatoes,
Dont eat no buttered scones
Stay away from carbohydrates
Youre gonna look like skin and bone.
Living on the edge of starvation
And she says shes got no appetite
And her father and her mother
And her sisters and her brothers
Couldnt see her when she walked by
She looked like skin and bone.
Dont eat no mashed potatoes,
Dont eat no buttered scones
Stay away from carbohydrates
Youre gonna look like skin and bone.
She used to be so cuddly,
She used to be so fat,
But oh what a sin cos shes oh so thin
That she lost all the friends that she had,
She looks like skin and bone
If you look flabby
And you feel overweight,
And you wanna lose a couple of stone,
Take a crash course diet do your daily exercises
And youll look like skin and bone.
Come on rattle them bones,
Put your hands up to the ceiling,
Bend your hips and touch your toes,
Do your daily exercises,
Youre gonna look like skin and bone,
Dont eat no mashed potatoes, etc.
song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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How can a society that exists on instant mashed potatoes, packaged cake mixes, frozen dinners, and instant cameras teach patience to its young?
quote by Paul Sweeney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The 'Potato' Poem
I love potatoes chopped up into chunky chips.
I love spicy potato wedges, served up with dips.
I love potato slices which have been fried in a pan:
Of sautéed potatoes, I am the world's biggest fan.
I love potatoes which have been pummelled and bashed
With butter and milk to make a real light, fluffy mash.
Jacket potatoes, I find a bit dry, but with a nice filling
Such as chilli, to give them a try, I am more willing.
With breakfast, I love hash browns or potato cakes,
And I love potatoes mixed up with leeks in a bake.
Crispy, golden potatoes, served up with Sunday roast
Are among the kinds of potato which I love the most.
Mixed in soups and casseroles, I love potatoes diced.
On top on minced beef hotpot, I love potatoes sliced.
Fluffy potato stuffed inside a crispy potato croquette
Is also rather nice, and, for me, it is another safe bet.
I love potatoes cut into crisps: the slices, wafer thin,
And, as a starter, I simply love loaded potato skins:
I do adore a delicious dish of Bombay potato curry:
For me, it is a taste which I won't forget in a hurry.
I like potatoes diced up with creamy mayonnaise,
Served up with salad on really hot summer days.
But I don't like potatoes which have been boiled:
From potatoes, cooked this way, in horror, I recoil.
poem by Angela Wybrow
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My favorite meal is turkey and mashed potatoes. I love Thanksgiving, it's just my favorite. I can have Thanksgiving all year round.
quote by Cindy Margolis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Whoever would have guessed that in the land of cheap sausages and mashed potatoes there could be such a change which would actually bring the French from Paris every weekend to invade Britain en masse to eat great food and drink great wine.
quote by Robin Leach
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Thanksgiving
It’s getting close to thanksgiving day
When every ones table will be on display.
Tablecloths of different patterns and designs
Making the tables look just fine.
Where every mother or wife try to
Fill their hearts delight.
Food dishes and desserts passed down
From generation to generation
Leaving you with a tasty temptation.
On the table a butterball turkey
And a honey baked ham
Both sitting in their juices
In a large roasting pan.
Mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes
Green bean salad, and corn on the cob
It looks like someone was doing their job.
A pan of beans, and a large bowl of rice
Bottles of apple cider sitting on ice.
Everything to make a thanksgiving complete
Spending it with family and friends
What a beautiful treat.
But this holiday can not be celebrated
If it wasn’t for those pilgrims on that historic day
When they spent it with Indians
and learned different games to play.
This was the creation of this
Great country that we all know
And now macy’ s puts on its thanksgiving show.
You’ve got to love it!
poem by Louis Rams
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I'm a lager drinker. I'm quite a stupid lager drinker. I do like my lager and mashed potatoes.
quote by Rhona Mitra
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hot Potatoes
My baby woke me up this mornin
She said get down that labour exchange,
And if you dont come home with a job son,
Youll get no dinner to-day.
You gotta secure me a weekly workin wage.
Youll get no more fancy cookin,
Youll get no more apple pie,
Youll just get those plain hot potatoes
To satisfy your appetite.
La la la la la la potatoes,
Boiled, french fried, any old way that you wanna decide.
Hot potatoes, yeh,
I want your lovin every single day.
I said I dont need your fancy cooking,
I like the simple things in life,
Just give me those plain hot potatoes
And Ill be well satisfied,
Theyll satisfy my appetite.
La la la la la la potatoes,
Boiled, french fried, any old way that you wanna decide.
Hot potatoes, yeh,
I want your lovin 60 minutes an hour,
I want your lovin 24 hours a day,
I want your lovin 7 days a week.
Yeh, yeh, oh yeh.
I want your love, I need your love,
But all I get is hot potatoes
When I come home late at night
To satisfy my appetite.
Dont give me no more potatoes,
Boiled, french fried, any old way you wanna decide.
Hot potatoes,
I want your lovin every single day.
I want your lovin
La la la la la la potatoes,
Boiled, french fried, any old way that you wanna decide.
Hot potatoes, hot potatoes, yeh.
song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We Got The Beef
Had ourselves a little barbeque
Corn on the cob and mashed potatoes too
Joe got the fritos, ernie got the stew
So what did you bring
We got the beef
We got the beef
We got the beef
Yeah, we got it
(we got the beef)
Now, everybody get on your feet (we got the beef)
Grab a hunk of ? ? ? beef (we got the beef)
Chuck daddy (we got the beef)
Now, ground round by the pound
We got the beef (we got the beef)
We got the beef (we got the beef, we got the beef)
We got the beef (we got the beef, we got the)
We got the beef
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Gas
my grandmother had a serious gas
problem.
we only saw her on Sunday.
she'd sit down to dinner
and she'd have gas.
she was very heavy,
80 years old.
wore this large glass brooch,
that's what you noticed most
in addition to the gas.
she'd let it go just as food was being served.
she'd let it go in bursts
spaced about a minute apart.
she'd let it go
4 or 5 times
as we reached for the potatoes
poured the gravy
cut into the meat.
nobody ever said anything,
especially me.
I was 6 years old.
only my grandmother spoke.
after 4 or 5 blasts
she would say in an offhand way,
'I'll bury you all!'
I didn't much like that:
first farting
then saying that.
it happened every Sunday.
she was my father's mother.
every Sunday it was death and gas
and mashed potatoes and gravy
and that big glass brooch.
those Sunday dinners would
always end with apple pie and
ice cream
and a big argument
about something or other,
my grandmother finally running out the door
and taking the red train back to
Pasadena
the place stinking for an hour
and my father walking about
fanning a newspaper in the air and
saying, 'it's all that damned sauerkraut
she eats!'
poem by Charles Bukowski
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Acapella Ditty
Well a hello and a howdy
We're so very glad to see you.
And we're getting kinda rowdy
And we've got a lot to say
And we're going to try and do our very best to entertain you
And we hope you'll be delighted by the time you go away
And we are called by name, Oingo Boingo
And we're here just to entertain you
Make you laugh and maybe offened you
But we hope that you, will be happier than when you came because
It is more fun. Just relax, prepare to come undone.
Madness in large portions to serve you
Second helpings come wih mashed potatoes.
Wylee, weelie, wylee wailee (???) We are called the Oingo Boingo
Not Gazingo, or Gazongo or by any other name
And we'll punch you in the gizzard if you dare to call us Bingo
Cause we're called the Oingo Boingo
And it's simply not the same.
No it's simply not the same
song performed by by Oingo Boingo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Special Family Memories
I have special family memories
Of when I was just a child
My family did things together
More often than once in awhile
We would go to church together
Then afterward a Sunday drive
With roast beef and mashed potatoes
When back home we’d later arrive
We’d to go the movies on occasion
My mom, dad, brother and me
I remember especially seeing Bambi
Although that was sad for me to see
But family is so important
It creates a special bond
I have many family memories
Of which I’m so terribly fond!
poem by Marilyn Lott
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I have taken the marshmallows off the sweet potatoes, however. They would make a big pan of sweet potatoes and cover it with marshmallows. My kids would love it if I would do that for them!
quote by Edie Brickell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Voodoo People
Wherever I walk
It seems that I am
Following the voodoo people
In front of me
Because the only thing that I can see
When I look infront of me
Is that black shadow
That comes from
The voodoo people
Straight to the pavement
Just imagine if the voodoo people
Were roastbife
Everybody would be eaten it now
With mashed potatoes, peas, carrots and gravy
But unfortunately they are humans
Of bones and flesh
Just like me
But the only thing that is different
Is the color of their skin
The voodoo people sleep in bed
The same way that I do
And the voodoo people eat food
Just like me
poem by Aldo Kraas
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Wilma's Welcome
He sat the table, fresh kid,
waiting for his dinner,
pushing back the war
now so far away.
His big brother smiled
glad to see him safe,
when she walked in,
carrying a steaming plate
of the best fried chicken
either had ever seen.
The aroma awoke in his memory
soft Ohio nights,
God's righteous thunder rumbling
gentle rains cooling the hot August sky,
when Mom carried in our dinner,
fried chicken and mashed potatoes,
safety and love.
And looking at his brother's new wife,
he smiled and at last said,
'welcome to the family! '
poem by Steven Federle
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Envision A Time When We Are Poor
once
out of my loneliness
i sit and envision a moment when we are poor
and desolate and we decide to go together for a lunch date
and we order
what we really want despite the fact that we fear we cannot afford it
yet we do not mind what happens next
i have the best chicken curry and jasmine rice and green tea
and you have the four seasons-juice
and beef steak & mashed potatoes for the main course
and leche flan for dessert
and we talk on some matters of the heart
about the stillness of time
and the unchanging mind and we begin to escape the poverty
of the hands and the feet &
the reality of us
wrinkled and weak
and we laugh and we look at each other and we confirm
the power of love.
love wins always
we agree
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Zen does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes.
quote by Alan Watts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Stick A Needle In My Eye
Im awfully tired of the same old business
Kiss the babies, make em cry
Im only lookin for one good woman
Cross my heart and hope to die
Stick a needle in my eye, eye, eye
Got a load of mashed potatoes
Holdin gravy like a fishin hole
I know something that might sound funny
I got no money and my buddys broke
I got no money and my buddys broke
Counterculture, mother vulture
Post toasties and a quart of beer
Im only looking for a place to go to
Somebody ask me what Im doin here?
Somebody ask me what Im doin here?
A boneless breast and a crispy thigh
Sittin at the bar n giving me the eye
Black crows on a garbage can
What kind of fella do you think I am?
Stick a needle in my eye, eye, eye
Im fallin in with bad companions
My mind is weak and my throat is dry
Thanksgiving in the grand canyon
Cant keep my fingers off that country pie
Im awfully tired of the same old business
Kiss the babies, make em cry
Im only lookin for one good woman
Cross my heart and hope to die
Stick a needle in my eye, eye, eye
Stick a needle in my eye, eye, eye
song performed by by John Prine
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Diet Song
Well breakfast black coffee one slice of dry toast no butter no jelly no jam
Lunch just some lettuce two celery stalks no booze no potatoes no ham
Dinner one chicken wing broiled not fried no gravy no biscuits no pie
And this dietin' dietin' dietin' dietin' sure is a rough way to die
So pass me a carrot stick peel me a prune a glass of skim milk and that's all
Turn off the TV for the Big Mac commercial it's drivin' me straight up the wall
And I'm think' of french fries sausage and waffles spaghetti and cookies and cake
And each night I'm dreamin' of chocolate ice cream and
I'm starvin' to death when I wake all for your sake
You're fixin' the kids all those creamed mashed potatoes
But it's bouillon and water for me and you got a lock on the refrigerator
Lord knows where you're hidin' the key
And while I am starvin' for food late at night I'm starvin' for lovin' from you
But you say that when I can see my own dick you'll be glad to look at it too
So supper two pieces of cauliflower raw some beefsteak the size of a nail
One sliced tomato a small dab of slaw I swear I ate better in jail
Stop eatin' that pizza right under my nose girl that's the least you can do
And put down that candy bar while I am singin' I'm starvin' my ass off for you
And when I am dead with the insurance paid you'll look down at me and you'll grin
You'll say well the boy tried and he suffered and died
But don't he look good when he's thin
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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A Fine Romance
A fine romance, with no kisses
A fine romance, my friend this is
We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes
But youre as cold as yesterdays mashed potatoes
A fine romance, you wont nestle
A fine romance, you wont wrestle
I might as well play bridge
With my old maid aunt
I havent got a chance
This is a fine romance
A fine romance, my good fellow
You take romance, Ill take jello
Youre calmer than the seals
In the arctic ocean
At least they flap their fins
To express emotion
A fine romance with no quarrels
With no insults and all morals
Ive never mussed the crease
In your blue serge pants
I never get the chance
This is a fine romance
song performed by by Ella Fitzgerald
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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