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I'm a lager drinker. I'm quite a stupid lager drinker. I do like my lager and mashed potatoes.

quote by Rhona Mitra
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Zwei Lager

Der night vas dark as anyding,
Ven at mine door two vellers ring,
Und say, ven I ask who vas dhere,
"Git oup und git" — und den dey schvear-

"Zwei lager."

I says, "Tis late: schust leaf mine house,
Und don'd pe making sooch a towse!"
Dey only lauft me in der face,
Und say, "Pring oudt, ' Old Schweizerkase,'

Zwei lager."

I dold dem dot der bier vas oudt;
But dose two snaps set oup a shout,
Und said no matter if 'tvas late,
Dot dey moost haf "put on der schlate!

Zwei lager.

"Oh! go avay, dot is goot poys,"
Mine moder says, "und schtop der noise:"
But sdill dem vellers yellt avay;
Und dis vas all dot dey vould say, —

"Zwei lager."

"Vot makes you gome I" mine taughter said,
"Ven beoples all vas in deir ped:
Schust gome to-morrow ven you're dhry."
But dem two plackguards sdill did cry,

"Zwei lager."

"Vot means you by sooch dings as dese
I go und calls for der boleese,"
Says SchneigeH'ritz, who lifs next door:
Dey only yellt more as pefore.

"Zwei lager."

" You schust holdt on a leedle vhile,"
Says mine Katrina mit a schmile:
"I vix dose shaps, you pet my life,
So dey don'd ask off Pfeiffer's vife

Zwei lager."

Den righdt avay she got a peese
Of goot und schtrong old Limburg cheese,
Und put it schust outside der door;
Und den ve didn't hear no more

"Zwei lager."

poem by Charles Follen Adams from Yawcob Strauss and Other Poems
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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No, I'm not a lager lout either. I think you have to be a massive football fan to be a lager lout.

quote by Hugh Dancy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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London Bridge Is Falling Down

London bridge is falling down,
falling down, and Bruce Willis
is no where to be found, and
my heart goes out to those
who died underground.

The seven hundred injured,
left with shattered emotions
and to those who died in a
fast moving hi tech locomotion.

I'd like to talk to the conductor
but he doesn't exist not in Los
Angeles anyway.Lets blame it
on the I.R.A. or how about Islam
those mad dogs that hate us so,
its all about the oil don't cha know!

I'll be damned if I let them steal my
my joy away from me the miserable
wretches and reprobates.I'm german
half anyway and we crouts can whip
their butts any day of the week.Last
but not least bring it on.

Josette Marie Louise Lager
Copyright@2005

poem by Josette Lager
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Not That Social

I'm the centre of whats getting you near
But if you wanna, you better come quickly
You're not that social, just a good drinker
I know a way, to make things better
Do i mean it, or am i just mean
You're not that social, just a good drinker
Ahh ah ah ah ah ah
Ahh ah ah ah ah ah
Theres no limits to the problems you bring
You need help, and i need the chance and its on its way
You're not that social, just a good drinker
I've been hinting for a long long time
You'll never make it, this is the end
You're not that social, just a good drinker
Ahh ah ah ah ah ah
Ahh ah ah ah ah ah
Breathe in, breathe out
I know you're tryin [x7]
Breathe in, breathe out
You're not that social, you're just a good drinker
Breathe in, breathe in
You're not that social, you're just a good drinker
Breathe in, breathe in
Breathe in, breathe out
I know you're tryin [x3]
Breathe in, breathe in [x2]

song performed by by Von Blondies
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My mouth has a tendency to get me into trouble, but because I'm so small and I take on people who are lager than me. If someone punched me, I'd get my drummer beat them up.

quote by Brian Molko
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Designated Drinker

(Alan Jackson)
Here's my keys, I want you to take 'em
I think I'm gonna need you to get back home
Hold on to my hat, I don't wanna lose it
I couldn't stand for something else to be gone
I'm sure you know the reason I'm here cryin'
I think you'll understand why
Tonight, I'm the designated drinker
I just lost the one that wrapped me around her finger
I need to get to where I can't think of her
So tonight, I'm the designated drinker
I came here to get you to help me
I need a friend to see me through
I hated to call, I knew you wouldn't mind at all
I know you know I'd do the same for you
I'm not the kind that likes to drown my sorrow
I may hate myself tomorrow
Oh but
Tonight, I'm the designated drinker
I just lost the one that wrapped me around her finger
I need to get to where I can't think of her
So tonight, I'm the designated drinker
We need to get to where we can't think of her
So tonight, we're the designated drinkers
Oh tonight, we're the designated drinkers

song performed by by Alan Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Designated Drinker (feat. George Strait)

(Alan Jackson)
Here's my keys, I want you to take 'em
I think I'm gonna need you to get back home
Hold on to my hat, I don't wanna lose it
I couldn't stand for something else to be gone
I'm sure you know the reason I'm here cryin'
I think you'll understand why
Tonight, I'm the designated drinker
I just lost the one that wrapped me around her finger
I need to get to where I can't think of her
So tonight, I'm the designated drinker
I came here to get you to help me
I need a friend to see me through
I hated to call, I knew you wouldn't mind at all
I know you know I'd do the same for you
I'm not the kind that likes to drown my sorrow
I may hate myself tomorrow
Oh but
Tonight, I'm the designated drinker
I just lost the one that wrapped me around her finger
I need to get to where I can't think of her
So tonight, I'm the designated drinker
We need to get to where we can't think of her
So tonight, we're the designated drinkers
Oh tonight, we're the designated drinkers

song performed by by Alan Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hooked On You

I had my lager and lime
And you had your vodka,
We were partners in crime!
Later the lager wasn't enough
And I got hooked on the stronger stuff.
I thought I was clever,
You thought I was tough,
Luckily nobody called my bluff!
Mutual admiration joined us like glue,
You were hooked on the vodka,
I was hooked on you,
You were my Bonnie, I tried to be Clyde,
Both of us flirted with suicide,
We liked to talk and we liked to think,
Our genius was confirmed by drink!
But the years went by and, bit by bit,
We drifted apart. I felt like sh*t!
The party was over. I was alone
And you hardly ever answered the phone.
I tried to hold on to the slippery past
But the illusion of love was vanishing fast,
And now the drink was taking its toll,
It had ruined my body and dulled my soul.
I tried all the methods of finding a cure,
But none of them worked - I was dead for sure!
Now I look back and I miss those days
We spent in a carefree alcoholic haze;
Can I face up to the ultimate truth?
The laughter has gone and we've lost our youth,
But let me toast you just one more time,
My angel of love and partner in crime!
Just one more drink before the night,
Just one more fix to set the stars alight!

poem by John Thorkild Ellison
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Insomnia Revisited

A few more winks
Would do me good
A little more shut eye
If I only could

Perhaps a Latte
In the midst of day
Striving to revert my minds'
Sleeplessness

Puff a doobie
If it was legal
Pound a case of lager
Or swallow a Lunesta
Am I to live the rest of my days
Sleepless, still

poem by Matt Mondschein
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Three Drinkers

Blacksmith Green had three strong sons,
With bread and beef did fill 'em,
Now John and Ned are perished and dead,
But plenty remains of William.

John Green was a whiskey drinker,
The Land of Cakes supplied him,
Till at last his soul flew out by the hole
That the fierce drink burned inside him.

Ned Green was a water drinker,
And, Lord, how Ned would fuddle!
He rotted away his mortal clay
Like an old boot thrown in a puddle.

Will Green was a wise young drinker,
Shrank from whiskey or water,
But he made good cheer with headstrong beer,
And married an alderman's daughter.

poem by Robert Graves
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Chill Out, Mr Poet! !

I'm sure your poetry is good
And I'd like to help you if I could,
But you're too intense and too sincere,
Why not relax and have a beer?

You say the Truth will 'set me free',
It's all very well but can't you see
Football and lager and T.V.
Mean more than Jesus Christ than me!

Why don't you read the daily news?
It'll cure you of these silly blues,
The tabloids are for recreation,
And there's nothing wrong with masturbation! !

I must say, you gave me a fright
When you came in here looking so uptight -
There's no solution, take my word,
Our little lives are quite Absurd! !

poem by John Thorkild Ellison
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Poem about Me and You

Welcome to this race of clones
Dressed up in human flesh and bones,
Lords of a pointless Universe
And children of a vicious curse:
They live on lager and TV
To keep at bay their misery
And do not give a bloody damn
That politics is just a sham,
So long as they can have their fun
(And this applies to everyone) .
They're doomed to live on borrowed time
Until they sink into the slime,
God, tell me that it isn't true,
This is a poem about me and you.

poem by John Thorkild Ellison
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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New Generations

The new generation is spoiled
They are dyeing due to their bad behaviour
Their good frash ideas were boiled
As they ignored their savoir

They feel themselves sugar
As they think they can have fun
Since they go about drink castle lager
But they will not be bright like the sun

You feel like flappers
While your like prostitutes
As you creating problems as huge as craters
When they burst you will sit like a football substitutes

Young people say they are doing swag
I don't know why they do that
When you wear your cloths look like toilet rag
As your problems are growing fat

poem by Tanaka Chirombo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Books of a Reader and Drinker

The library of books to do with life are great,
Inside them we discover a whole new story.
Their covers are as hard to swallow as fish,
Meeting a drinker dissolves your hatred of reading.
The drinker is a drunkard of the odd variety,
He reads like an angel when his wings number many,
But then they shed due to drink, and the beer has departed.
For this reading composes the mind,
The books of ancient nature fall from the shelves,
They burn by the dozen and leave us with true knowledge.

poem by Naveed Akram
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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If I Were A Drinker

you only wanted what money could buy,any trinket that sparkled would catch your
green eyes I should have known better,but i loved you too much,and when you
spent all my savings,love was not enough.If i were a drinker i'd be drunk
tonight,and if'n i were a gambler,i'd bet my last dime,you're out with
another,and you won't be home,but if i were a rich man you would'nt be gone.We
used to go dancin' on saturday night you shined like a diamond underneath those
blue lights you were a fools gold oh but i would soon learn i'd never make you
happy with the money i earned.If i were a drinker,i'd be drunk tonight,and if'n
i was a gambler,lord i'd bet my last dime you're out with another,and you won't
be home,but if i were a rich man you would'nt be gone

song performed by by Travis Tritt
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Let us have back our annual prize!

Bedraggled skies - I'm sick and tired
Of your subterranean… dark eyes,
You're like the lover who feels undesired.
Put-on silk gowns - show me some thighs.

For the ladies put-out a masculine chest
With white cotton clouds loosely vest.
And for me show evenings scarlet-red
With her on a bed - arms outspread.

But for god sakes give our blurry eyes
Some heavenly skies - lest we all go mad…
Let us have back our annual prize!
Lager laden gardens; sunburns unclad.

poem by Mark Heathcote
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Chennai street

In india at
Chennai street's...
Hot to hotter...
Drink and come's...
Home at near...
'Male husbands'
Fighted...
For his wife's...
Mostely bad words...

Thear wife and childrens
Cry and woory
About inside the home...
Street on the way walkers
Simply see and enjoy
The drinker 'woddance...'
Did not woory for drinker
Shouted shouted...

Simply hot drink eneargy
That's all...
for chennai street's....

poem by Otteri Selvakumar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Wedding Party

(Wedding Party)

Sailing down night Seine
Champagne brut and goose liver
The Eiffel Tower
Dressed in bright coloured charms
Looked like a demi monde

When the barge banked
I gave Seine the bird’s liver
Peed in the river
Studied the sliver of moon
Dreaming of ice cold lager

Paris’s night streets
September mild and at ease
Bars and bistros shut
The worthless slept in doorways
And I thought of Edit Piaf

poem by Jan Oskar Hansen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Bitter Suite

(fish / marillion)
A) brief encounter
A spider wanders aimlessly within the warmth of a shadow
Not the regal creature of border caves
But the poor, misguided, directionless familiar of some obscure scottish poet
The mist crawls from the canal
Like some primordial phantom of romance
To curl, under a cascade of neon pollen
While I sit tied to the phone like an expectant father
Your carnation will rot in a vase
B) lost weekend
A train sleeps in a siding
The driver guzzles another can of lager, lager
To wash away the memories of a friday night down at the club
She was a wallflower at sixteen, shell be a wallflower at thirty four
Her mother called her beautiful
Her daddy said, a whore
C) blue angel
The sky was Bible black in lyon, when I met the magdalene
She was paralyzed in a streetlight
She refused to give her name
And a ring of violet bruises
They were pinned upon her arm
Two hundred francs for sanctuary and she led me by the hand
To a room of dancing shadows where all the heartache disappears
And from glowing tongues of candles I heard her whisper in my ear
jentend ton coeur, jentend ton coeur
I can hear your heart, I can hear your heart, I can hear your heart
Hear your heart
I hear your heart
D) misplaced rendezvous
Its getting late, for scribbling and scratching on the paper
Somethings gonna give under this pressure, and the cracks are already beginning to show
Its too late
The weekend career girl never boarded the plane
They said this could never happen again
Oh, so wrong, so wrong
This time it seems to be another misplaced rendezvous
This time, its looking like another misplaced rendezvous
With you
The parallel of you, you
E) windswept thumb
On the outskirts of nowhere
On the ringroad to somewhere
On the verge of indecision
Ill always take the roundabout way
Waiting on the rain
For I was born with a habit, from a sign
The habit of a windswept thumb, and the sign of the rain
Rain on me, rain
Its started raining

song performed by by Marillion
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mining Town

Said you came from a mining town
But they closed the mining down
Said your daddy was a drinker
He had a picture of jesus on his sinker
Maybe i... maybe Im coming for you tonight
This towns only five miles wide
Look everywhere theres a road sign
On tops and places to hide
And cops sit around hungry
Waitin to dine
Maybe i... maybe Im coming for you tonight
Maybe i... maybe Im coming for you tonight
Said you came from a mining town
They closed the mining down
Said your momma was a drinker
She had a picture of jesus on her sink and
Maybe i... maybe Im coming for you tonight
Maybe i... maybe Im coming for you tonight
Maybe i........ baby, Im coming for you tonight.

song performed by by Whiskeytown
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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