I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry.
quote by Sam Kinison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Strange Things
I was on top of the world
It was right in my pocket
I was livin' the life
Things were just the way they should be
When from out of the sky like a bomb comes some little punk in a rocket
Now all of a sudden some strange things are happenin' to me
I had friends,
I had lots of friends
Now all my friends are gone
And I'm doin' the best I can to carry on
I had power (power)
I was respected (respect)
But not any more
And I've lost the love to the one whom I adored
Let me tell you about the strange things are happenin' to me
Strange things
Strange things are happenin' to me...
Ain't no doubt about it
You got someone you think you know well
It turns out a stranger
The minute you turn your back
You're in it all by yourself
They laugh at your jokes
You think you're doin' well
But you're in danger, boy
You end up alone, forgotten, way up on the shelf
Strange things are happenin' to me
Strange things
Strange things are happenin' to me
Ain't no doubt about it
Strange things are happenin' to me
Strange things
Strange things are happenin' to me
Strange things
Strange things
song performed by by Randy Newman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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All the Jokes
All the jokes have already been told
And so instead, we tell jokes about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
So instead we tell jokes about how
All the new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
Because they remind us about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these jokes get old very quickly
So we make up new jokes about how
The jokes about the new jokes about how
All the jokes that have already been told
Are starting to get quite old
But after a while, once these jokes
Have gotten quite old themselves
We sit and listen to the silence
And wonder about the past, and how
All the jokes have already been told
Then suddenly, out of nowhere
Somebody comes up with a joke
That had been forgotten long ago
But is so funny we can't even breathe
So we roll on the floor, gasping for air
poem by Derek Ouyang
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I've always been terrible on regular sitcoms with lots of jokes. I don't know how to tell jokes.
quote by Rainn Wilson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant.
quote by Rue McClanahan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There Used To Be Days
There used to be days,
when i was a witty and humorous guy,
that i could make people laugh,
until they start to cry,
and i would often create stories
filled with such a humor and joy,
that everybody would ask me
how can u do it every time oh boy.
There used to be days....
Often i would tell things in such a way,
and often i would act in such a way,
that nobody could resist to laugh,
however hard they may try,
and even if it would be late for the day,
and even if i would be done for the day,
people used to hold me by hand,
and they wont let me say good bye.
There used to be days....
While i was cruising really very fast,
one day something happened that almost broke me apart,
and in those few hours of storm,
i lost whatever wit and humor i ever had,
i thought the things would improve,
but nothing happened as the days passed by,
and i the witty and humorous guy became a silent and shy guy.
but there used to be days...
now nobody laughs at my jokes,
however hard i may try,
and in such a despaired state i am,
that for myself often i cry,
But my heart says to me, keep on giving a try,
life would flip again someday,
and people would again start to laugh at my jokes,
whenever any i will say,
but till now only i can say
that there used to be days...
poem by Sunny Mittal
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Lots Of Times
Lots of times we laugh and joke
And make funny faces
And lots of time we write notes
Telling each other hello
Lots of times we hung out
And made up funny games
And lots of times we stood together
And defended our beliefs
Lots of times I think of you
And how you're my best friend
And lots of times I know
That that will never end.
Little Super Hero
Hey little super hero
With your batmobile parked right beside your bed
And teddy on the pillow by your head
You think I can beat up superman
And do lots of things that no one can
That I'm everything a dad is supposed to be
Son don't ever think that you have to be like me
Hey little super hero
Somebody said a man's not supposed to cry
And feel ashamed for being scared I don't know why
We're supposed to laugh in the face of danger
And be brave as the lone ranger
But little buddy, that just ain't where it's at
Don't ever think that you have to be like that
Hey little super hero
I guess it doesn't make much sense right now
But I'm trying to make you understand somehow
You'll be a better man by far
If you be just who you are
And be honest in the things you say and do
This world will be a better place for you
Hey little super hero
I guess it's time for me to say goodnight
In my heart I know you're going to be all right
I'll always try to guide you
And kill the fears inside you
Help you out in any way I can
Cause sometimes it ain't easy being a man
poem by Mike Kosman
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Only Wanna Laugh
(william jacob / shannon shor)
Change the mood Im in
For a little while
Let me see that grin
Let me see you smile
No soulful tales that fret and frown
No woeful wails that get me down
No rights or wrongs
Sing no sad songs for me
I only wanna laugh
No time for crying
I only wanna laugh
No time for tears
I only wanna sing
A song thats happy
Thats why I only wanna walk a street thats sunny
I only wanna see the side thats funny
Im saving all of my tears until tomorrow
cause crying all my tears
Just aint my style
Im acting like a clown
But let me be
cause even though I know
The jokes on me
I only wanna laugh
Only wanna laugh
Only wanna laugh
Im saving all of my tears until tomorrow
cause crying all my tears
Baby, just aint my style
Im acting like a clown
But let me be
cause even though the jokes on me, oh
Tell the girls goodbye
cause I dont wanna cry
Hey
I only wanna laugh
Only wanna laugh
Only wanna laugh
song performed by by Dusty Springfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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No Time
By hank cicalo
Hober reeber sabasoben
Hobaseeba snick
Seeberraber hobosoben
What did you expect?
No time, no time for you.
I got no time, baby,
Got lots of better things to do.
Runnin from the risin heat
To find a place to hide,
The grass is always greener
Growin on the other side.
No time, no time for you
I got no time, baby,
Got lots of better things to do.
[instrumental riff]
No time, no time for you
I got no time, baby,
Got lots of better things to do.
[instrumental riff]
No time, no time for you
I got no time, baby,
Got lots of better things to do.
Tryin to tell the world
Somehow of how I feel.
Tell me what you said again,
I cant believe its real.
No time, no time for you
I got no time, baby,
Got lots of better things to do.
Andy, youre a dandy,
You dont seem to make no sense.
Nevermind the furthermore,
The plea is self-defense
No time, no time for you
I got no time, baby,
Got lots of better things to do.
Got no time
I got no time
[repeat, adlib and fade]
song performed by by Monkees
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Drives Me Crazy
It drives me crazy that I love you
I never thought I would ever say that in a million years
Never thought I liked you more than friends
You talk to me more than anyone
You make me laugh even though some things are childish
You know me more than I know myself
I guess since we grew up together its no surprise that you know me better than I
It drives me crazy that I can actually talk to you and you listen
You don't make a big deal out things like some people do
It drives me crazy that we can make jokes about silly things
You're crazier than ever, never thought you would be like that
You use to be so shy in grade school
It drives me crazy that I actually like you
Everything I do I think about how we're closer than ever
It just seems so weird that we can talk to each other
It just drives me crazy
poem by Espn Chick
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Drives Me Crazy
It drives me crazy that I love you
I never thought I would ever say that in a million years
Never thought I liked you more than friends
You talk to me more than anyone
You make me laugh even though some things are childish
You know me more than I know myself
I guess since we grew up together its no surprise that you know me better than I
It drives me crazy that I can actually talk to you and you listen
You don't make a big deal out things like some people do
It drives me crazy that we can make jokes about silly things
You're crazier than ever, never thought you would be like that
You use to be so shy in grade school
It drives me crazy that I actually like you
Everything I do I think about how we're closer than ever
It just seems so weird that we can talk to each other
It just drives me crazy
poem by Heather Hill
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Everything Is Not Enough
It doesnt help you if you scream and shout
That isnt what this thing is all about
And do you really want to fight to win
Youre missing out and thats another sin
Your dream of power is a sacrifice
Do you really want to pay that price
Just think about it and youll change the pace
Look in the mirror tell me who do you face
Who is that?
Its everything, everything is not enough
I want it all, thats tough, thats tough, thats tough
Another dream, another dream, another dream goes pop
This is the time, lets stop, lets stop, lets stop
Nobody loves you if you moan all day
So take it easy then youll get your way
You aint no dummy and Im sure you know
You know its better if you let it go
Youre in control if you let it go
Youre feeling better when you let it flow
You never really had to catch the moon
Youre better jumping to another tune
So lets jump
Its everything, everything is not enough
I want it all, thats tough, thats tough, thats tough
Another dream, another dream, another dream goes pop
This is the time, lets stop, lets stop, lets stop
Its everything, everything is not enough
I want it all, thats tough, thats tough, thats tough
Another dream, another dream, another dream goes pop
This is the time, lets stop, lets stop, lets stop (do, do, do it)
Ive got it all but its not enough
I keep thinking boy I feel so rough
This cant be me, Im such a happy guy
I laugh a lot but I want to cry
A cry for help is just letting go
It hurts a lot but I think I know
Its time for change I dont need the hype
Its time for change and the time is ripe
So lets go
Its everything, everything is not enough
I want it all, thats tough, thats tough, thats tough
Another dream, another dream, another dream goes pop
This is the time, lets stop, lets stop, lets stop
Its everything, everything is not enough
I want it all, thats tough, thats tough, thats tough
Another dream, another dream, another dream goes pop
This is the time, lets stop, lets stop, lets stop
Its everything, everything is not enough
I want it all, thats tough, thats tough, thats tough
Another dream, another dream, another dream goes pop
This is the time, lets stop, lets stop, lets stop...
song performed by by 10 Cc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bartenders Blues
Now Im just a bartender
And I dont like my work
But I dont mind the money at all
I see lots of sad faces
And lots of bad cases
Of folks with their backs to the wall
Chorus:
But I need four walls around me to hold my life
To keep me from going a-stray
And a honky-tonk angel to hold me tight
To keep me from slipping away
I can light up your smokes
I can laugh at your jokes
I can watch you fall down on your knees
I can close down this bar
I can gas up my car
I can pack up and mail in my key
Chorus:
Now, the smoke fills the air
In this honky-tonk bar
And Im thinking bout where Id rather be
But I burned all my bridges
I sank all my ships
And Im stranded at the edge of the sea
Chorus:
song performed by by James Taylor
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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5 Reasons Why You Make Me Smile
1: When you find me looking at you and you smile.
2: When you come up to me and talk to me, to try and make me laugh..
3: When we have to work together you saying out of the blue things to me.
4: When I look up and you are looking at me.
5: When I find you staring at me I laugh and you laugh too :) .
So I guess I am Irrevocably in love with you...
poem by Nelly Wilder
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Laugh Clown Laugh
Laugh Clown laugh,
that's what they want me to do.
I guess I'm doing something right
because this Clown made you laugh too.
Laugh Clown laugh,
make everyone laugh real hard.
Besides, Who would it hurt?
Will anyone notice
how it has scarred?
Laugh Clown laugh,
but only for a while,
at least until you see
that the humor is in your denial.
poem by Cecelia Warner
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Next One
The next one
Will not be like me
I know I have flaws
As you plainly do see
I know I'm not perfect
But I know I did try
But you only see me
Through days of past eyes
I bet he'll be perfect
Say all the right things
Bring you all of the joy
A new relationship brings
Will he open your door?
As 9 years have gone by
When you share your hurts
Will he truthfully cry?
Will his heart stick with you?
Through thick and through thin?
Will he love you through everything?
The good stuff and sin?
Will he laugh at your jokes?
With genuine heart?
Will it last through the years?
Or just at the start?
Will he walk with you
Through all of your dreams?
And make them come true?
As sure as it seems.
If you lay in bed dying
Will he hold your last breath?
Will he love you forever?
Or just until death?
Will he change who he is?
To bring you much joy?
Will he cherish you like I do?
Or are you just a new toy?
Will he do what it takes?
To win back your heart.
Will he try to become
Who he was in the start?
Will he lead you to God?
Will he lead you to Hell?
I guess we'll find out
As only time will tell.
Will he love you like I do?
Through good times and bad?
When your loving or angry?
When your happy or mad?
Will he love you so deeply?
For you will he pray?
When things get real tough
Will he just walk away?
Would he walk through a fire?
Put his life on the line?
Give it all up for you?
Is his love stronger than mine?
Will he dream of a future?
Where you both will grow old?
Will he love you so dearly?
Will his love just turn cold?
If you did what I did
Would you just walk away?
Or stand up and fight on
Each and everyday
I just want you to be happy
So I'll let you go
You truly are worth it
I thought you should know
I will love you forever
After I leave this world
And even in heaven
You'll still be my girl
So now I to move on
Things will be what they'll be
For I know he won't love you
Won't love you like me.
poem by Ryan Lee Morris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Guess Things Happen That Way
(johnny cash)
Well, you ask me if Ill forget my baby
I guess I will some day
I dont like it but I guess things happen that way
You ask me if Ill get along
I guess I will some way
I dont like it but I guess things happen that way
God gave me that girl to lean on, then he put me on my own
Heaven help me be a man and have the strength to stand alone
I dont like it but I guess things happen that way
You ask me if Ill miss her kisses
I guess I will every day
I dont like it but I guess things happen that way
You ask me if Ill find another
I dont know, I cant say
I dont like it but I guess things happen that way
song performed by by Emmylou Harris
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hangin Tough
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Listen up everybody if you wanna take a chance.
(rap:) just get on the floor and do the new kids dance.
Dont worry bout nothing cause it wont take long.
(rap:) were gonna put you in a trance with a funky song, cause you gotta be
Hangin tough, hangin tough, hangin tough.
(rap:) were rough.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Everybodys always talkin bout whos on top.
(rap:) dont cross our path cause youre gonna get stomped.
We aint gonna give anybody any slack.
(rap:) and if you try to keep us down were gonna come right back,
And you know were
Hangin tough, hangin tough, hangin tough.
(rap:) are you tough enough?
Hangin tough, hangin tough, hangin tough.
(rap:) were rough.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Get loose everybody cause were gonna do our thing.
(rap:) cause you know it aint over till the fat lady sings.
Hangin tough, hangin tough, hangin tough.
(rap:) are you tough enough?
Hangin tough, hangin tough, hangin tough.
(rap:) were rough.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, just hangin tough, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hangin tough.
(repeat & fade)
song performed by by New Kids On The Block
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tough cat Sam returns
Tough cat Sam is restless
he wants to box again
retirement is boring he says
he misses the action and even the pain.
Jess says he's lost the plot
and he's being a grumpy old cat
although Sam maybe knocking on a bit
he can still do a hundred press ups on the mat.
He wants to fight the reigning champ
a psycho cat by the name of feral Fred
he hasn't lost a fight in years
and two poor opponents ended up dead.
But Sam has been working out
and eating lots and lots of raw fish
feral Fred has heard all about this
and says he'll grant Sam his wish.
The Feline Gazette ran the headline
that Sam is too old and must be mad
they wrote some nasty things in their paper
saying he was washed up and very sad.
But Tough cat Sam had heard it before
and announced that he was in really good nick
while feral Fred laughed and taunted Sam
saying he was just an old cat and thick.
So Sam had his fight with feral Fred
and for fifteen rounds they went paw to paw
and when the fight finally came to an end
feral Fred was lying knocked out on the floor.
Tough cat Sam was the champion again
the oldest cat to retain the boxing crown
and as Sam proudly said to the feline press
' I'm living proof you can't keep a good cat down!
poem by Kevin Halls
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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To The Floor Until I Roll Into Tears
LOL.
'Why do you laugh?
And so loudly from your gut? '
I guess it's the ignorance I am attracted to.
And the foolish things people do,
They simply can not give up.
'And this makes you laugh? '
To the floor until I roll into tears.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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