Sam Kinison

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

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It was like going to church, except Ozzy Osbourne was there.

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Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row.

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Jim Bakker. He's lost everything, he's ruined. And the worst thing of all he still has to wake up to her!

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I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry.

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In the last couple of years, I guess I've spent six figures on clothes. I figure I spend a lot of time shopping. Eight to ten days a month, I go out and buy. Yeah, I guess you could say that I'm a real clothes whore.

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