There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
quote by Will Rogers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.
quote by Will Rogers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
One-trick Pony
Hes a one trick pony
One trick is all that horse can do
He does one trick only
Its the principal source of his revenue
And when he steps into the spotlight
You can feel the heat of his heart
Come rising through
See how he dances
See how he loops from side to side
See how he prances
The way his hooves just seem to glide
Hes just a one trick pony (thats all he is)
But he turns that trick with pride
He makes it look so easy
He looks so clean
He moves like gods
Immaculate machine
He makes me think about
All of these extra movements I make
And all of this herky-jerky motion
And the bag of tricks it takes
To get me through my working day
One-trick pony
Hes a one trick pony
He either fails or he succeeds
He gives his testimony
Then he relaxes in the weeds
Hes got one trick to last a lifetime
But thats all a pony needs
(thats all he needs)
He looks so easy
He looks so clean
He moves like gods
Immaculate machine
He makes me think about
All of these extra movements I make
And all of this herky-jerky motion
And the bag of tricks it takes
To get me through my working day
One-trick pony, one trick pony
One-trick pony, one trick pony
One-trick pony (take me for a ride)
One trick pony
song performed by by Paul Simon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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How Are You?
By cheap trick
Hello
How are you?
Howd you sleep last night?
Did you dream of me all night?
How are you?
Wake up
Good morning
You shouldnt sleep all day
Such a beautiful day
How are you?
Good morning
Whats with you?
How could you?
I heard your voice
I couldnt stand it
You know you talk too much
You even scare my friends
Whats with you?
The world you said
I know youre lying
You lie in bed
You lie, you lie
You lie there crying
Whats with you?
How could you?
Why did you?
Hey, hey
I said its alright
Come on, come on
Ive been working all night
Hey, hey
I said its okay
Come on, come on
Ive been working all day
Working all day, hey!
Hello
How are you?
I couldnt sleep last night
I dreamed of you all night
Good morning
Get up
I know youre lying
You lie in bed
You lie, you lie
You lie there crying
Whats with you?
How could you?
Why did you?
Hey, hey
I said its alright
Come on, come on
Ive been working all night
Hey, hey
I said its okay
Come on, come on
Ive been working all day
Working all day, hey!
Hello
How are you?
I dreamed of you last night
Hello
How are you?
I dreamed of you all night
I said I want you
I want you, need you, love you
Want you to want me
Remember?
Hello
How are you?
Howd you sleep last night?
Did you dream of me all night?
Good morning
How are you?
How are you?
Hey, hey
I said its alright
Come on, come on
Ive been working all night
Hey, hey
I said its okay
Come on, come on
Ive been working all day
Working all day, hey!
Hey, hey
I said its alright
Come on, come on
Ive been working all night
Hey, hey
I said its okay
Come on, come on
Ive been working all day
Working all day, hey!
song performed by by Cheap Trick
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I've said we need to look at things from the perspective of working people and taxpayers, not from the perspective of government and government officials.
quote by Scott McCallum
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I believe in an America with a government of men devoted solely to the public interests — men of ability and dedication, free from conflict or corruption or other commitment — a responsible government that is efficient and economical, with a balanced budget over the years of the cycle, reducing its debt in prosperous times — a government willing to entrust the people with the facts that they have — not a businessman's government, with business in the saddle … not a labor government, not a farmer's government, not a government of one section of the country or another, but a government of, for and by the people.
quote by John F. Kennedy
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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One-Trick Pony
I am not a one-trick pony
I am not a one-trick pony
I really feel no one can own me
I really feel nothing can hold me
Nobody can control me
Nobody can conform me
Nobody can disown me
Nobody can ignore me
So slow down
One-trick pony
I am not a one-trick pony
I am not a one-trick pony
For you i will not dance
For you i will not prance
And where I was last
I'll never be at
And After that
I've already passed
So slow down
And hear this sound
One-trick pony
Yeah, you do it for a price
I can see it in your eyes
See that role was never mine
I don't want to stand in line
See how that one-trick story goes
If she weren't on time you'd never know
cause a one-trick pony steals the show
You're just a pony
So back down
To the ground
And chill out
Girl, you better shape up, girl, you better shape up
Yeah the ride is so, so, so, so, so fast
Yeah, you better shape up
Yeah, just keep your chin up
No half ass...no half ass
One-trick pony
Just ride ride ride
Just ride ride ride
Ride ride ride
song performed by by Nelly Furtado
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Love Working On You
(jim collins/craig wiseman)
You woke up this morning
Changes were taking place
You looked in the mirror
A smile was all over your face
cause out of nowhere
Someone was there
Who dared to climb
Those walls you made
Its exciting, a little frightening
But girl dont you be afraid
Thats just the love working
Love working on you
Thats just the love working
Working on pulling you through
Cant even remember
All the sorrow that you left behind
Its a brand new day
Theres a bright new way
And your tears have turned into wine
You never forget
When your eyes met
Or just how clearly you could see
Where the turns are deep in your heart
That lead you to believe
Thats just the love working
Love working on you
Thats just the love working
Working on pulling you through
All of the while you felt forsaken
And all of the while
Loves been waiting, waiting
Suddenly you see how it could be
If we all only felt this way
And for a while girl you can see this world
Looking through the eyes of fate
Thats just the love working
Love working on you
Thats just the love working
Working on pulling you through
Thats just the love working
Love working on you
Thats just the love working
Working on pulling you through
Thats just the love working on you
Thats just the love working
Working on pulling you through
song performed by by John Michael Montgomery
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Childhood Halloweens
Once I celebrated Halloween:
It was a part of my childhood.
Everyone was so excited.
And dressing up
In ghostly costumes,
We went trick-or-treating in groups.
We always received treats,
And never had to trick anyone—
As far as I can remember.
But one time a fellow trick-or-treater,
From behind, snatched my bag of candy.
What a mean trick!
The bag was almost full
As the candy spilled onto the ground.
But others helped me to gather all of it,
And the trickster’s plot was overthrown.
What a time those Halloweens were.
Do kids still celebrate?
poem by Walterrean Salley
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I like working with an actor who doesn't do the oneupmanship. One who has no trick and gives a true, honest performance.
quote by Erik Estrada
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm not a comic. I'm a humorist.
quote by Dick Gregory
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A humorist is a fellow who realizes, first, that he is no better than anybody else, and, second, that nobody else is either.
quote by Homer McLin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We stand equally against government by a plutocracy and government by a mob. There is something to be said for government by a great aristocracy which has furnished leaders to the nation in peace and war for generations; even a democrat like myself must admit this. But there is absolutely nothing to be said for government by a plutocracy, for government by men very powerful in certain lines and gifted with "the money touch," but with ideals which in their essence are merely those of so many glorified pawnbrokers.
quote by Theodore Roosevelt
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Murder The Government
I wanna see the constitution burn
Wanna watch the white hourse overturn
Wanna witness some blue blood bleed red
I wanna tar and lynch the kkk
I wanna pull and shoot the nra
I wanna pay the lobbyists to kill themselves
I wanna dose the dea
I wanna join the cia (not really)
Murder the government, murder the government
Murder the government, and then do it again.. yeah
Murder the government, murder the government
Murder the government, and then
Murder the government
song performed by by NOFX
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Who's Trick Is This?
Who's trick is this?
Is it your latest?
It is too obvious.
The over rating done,
Is much too inflated.
This rehashed stuff,
I've had enough of.
Can't you create,
Something more update?
Something I can anticipate,
To stimulate a thought process...
That has from you...
Never approached a level of suspect.
Or I can say...
You had but it left
Who's trick is this?
It has to be borrowed.
It has a thoughfulness.
And with you,
That does not exist!
None you can insist...
Came to even visit.
Or one you can claim,
To leave me a bit suspicious...
That you alone are behind it!
Who's trick is this?
You have never been this innovative.
Or smiled so broadly.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Played-Out Humorist
Quixotic is his enterprise, and hopeless his adventure is,
Who seeks for jocularities that haven't yet been said.
The world has joked incessantly for over fifty centuries,
And every joke that's possible has long ago been made.
I started as a humorist with lots of mental fizziness,
But humour is a drug which it's the fashion to abuse;
For my stock-in-trade, my fixtures, and the goodwill of the
business
No reasonable offer I am likely to refuse.
And if anybody choose
He may circulate the news
That no reasonable offer I'm likely to refuse.
Oh happy was that humorist - the first that made a pun at all -
Who when a joke occurred to him, however poor and mean,
Was absolutely certain that it never had been done at all -
How popular at dinners must that humorist have been!
Oh the days when some stepfather for the query held a handle out,
The door-mat from the scraper, is it distant very far?
And when no one knew where Moses was when Aaron blew the candle
out,
And no one had discovered that a door could be a-jar!
But your modern hearers are
In their tastes particular,
And they sneer if you inform them that a door can be a-jar!
In search of quip and quiddity, I've sat all day, alone, apart -
And all that I could hit on as a problem was - to find
Analogy between a scrag of mutton and a Bony-part,
Which offers slight employment to the speculative mind:
For you cannot call it very good, however great your charity -
It's not the sort of humour that is greeted with a shout -
And I've come to the conclusion that my mine of jocularity
In present Anno Domini, is worked completely out!
Though the notion you may scout,
I can prove beyond a doubt
That my mine of jocularity is utterly worked out.
poem by William Schwenck Gilbert
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Good government only happens when the people working in it do their jobs, and do them well.
quote by Matthew Lesko
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
quote by Ambrose Bierce
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Government is not the generator of economic growth; working people are.
quote by Phil Gramm
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I want to assure you that working in transition period is an ungrateful job for any honest government.
quote by Robert Kocharian
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Anarchists
The leaders of this country,
Think were the ones that do wrong,
They take control of the power,
and steal this land of forgotten freedom
Its not the people afraid of the government,
Its the government afraid of the people
They call the ones dressed in black,
The evil ones but we fight back,
We've got hackers, we've got protesters,
we let no man left behind
Its not the people afraid of the government,
Its the government afraid of the people
The unions dressed in black,
With their flag raised up high,
Don't take no for an answer,
As the forces stain the streets with blood
Its not the people afraid of the government,
Its the government afraid of the people
We fight for the people,
Our obligation is good as gold,
And though we fight with arms of steel,
we don't let death go in vein
Its not the people afraid of the government,
Its the government afraid of the people
poem by Bing D'Amico
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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