I'm not a comic. I'm a humorist.

quote by Dick Gregory
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Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.

quote by Dick Gregory
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If it wasn't for Abe Lincoln, I'd still be on the open market.

quote by Dick Gregory
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I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for that.

quote by Dick Gregory
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I wouldn't mind paying taxes - if I knew they were going to a friendly country.

quote by Dick Gregory
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Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.

quote by Dick Gregory
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When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It's not enough, but it helps.

quote by Dick Gregory
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I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

quote by Dick Gregory
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In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it's a sport.

quote by Dick Gregory
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When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.

quote by Dick Gregory
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