The Played-Out Humorist
Quixotic is his enterprise, and hopeless his adventure is,
Who seeks for jocularities that haven't yet been said.
The world has joked incessantly for over fifty centuries,
And every joke that's possible has long ago been made.
I started as a humorist with lots of mental fizziness,
But humour is a drug which it's the fashion to abuse;
For my stock-in-trade, my fixtures, and the goodwill of the
business
No reasonable offer I am likely to refuse.
And if anybody choose
He may circulate the news
That no reasonable offer I'm likely to refuse.
Oh happy was that humorist - the first that made a pun at all -
Who when a joke occurred to him, however poor and mean,
Was absolutely certain that it never had been done at all -
How popular at dinners must that humorist have been!
Oh the days when some stepfather for the query held a handle out,
The door-mat from the scraper, is it distant very far?
And when no one knew where Moses was when Aaron blew the candle
out,
And no one had discovered that a door could be a-jar!
But your modern hearers are
In their tastes particular,
And they sneer if you inform them that a door can be a-jar!
In search of quip and quiddity, I've sat all day, alone, apart -
And all that I could hit on as a problem was - to find
Analogy between a scrag of mutton and a Bony-part,
Which offers slight employment to the speculative mind:
For you cannot call it very good, however great your charity -
It's not the sort of humour that is greeted with a shout -
And I've come to the conclusion that my mine of jocularity
In present Anno Domini, is worked completely out!
Though the notion you may scout,
I can prove beyond a doubt
That my mine of jocularity is utterly worked out.
poem by William Schwenck Gilbert
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Related quotes
Fifty Years On: for Bastille Day 3
It seemed to me the mortal wrong,
the crime that marked her wretched
lay not in anything she did
but what she had neglected
nor could the woes of centuries
be righted by this course
but die she must, for otherwise
she simply was to dangerous.
The tumbril slowly started down
her shoulders shook from view
through the mud the jeering crowd
followed in pursuit
I thought a moment-should I go?
but so much blood had flowed...
I had no special love for blood
and there was work to do.
Long ago that fateful hour-
today is fifty years
since centuries of hate devoured
centuries of fear.
Maybe better, maybe not
than fifty years ago
the world turns now-but I have got
no less of work to do.
poem by Morgan Michaels
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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When I was young, I was told: 'You'll see, when you're fifty.' I am fifty and I haven't seen a thing.
quote by Erik Satie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Time Given Seeks No Reward
A stain has been left on it.
A path I pave.
I suspect someone,
Has taken it for granted.
Believing it easy...
To chase me away!
My time given,
Seeks no reward.
Footprints are all over it.
And trashed by disrespect.
Although none of this was expected...
I accept this with regret.
My time given,
Seeks no reward.
To move forward is a personal quest.
Obstacles challenge.
And they will be faced...
With the best from me,
Unseen yet!
My time given,
Seeks no reward.
I am not motivated,
By spotlight!
Or applause.
Nor am I awed,
By my own accomplishments.
Those things done...
Are released.
Not stored.
My time given,
Seeks no reward.
I continue to be 'me'...
Even when I am ignored.
I choose to adventure.
I choose to explore.
And in 'this' time given,
I do not seek to reach for reward.
My mission is not to sit with impatience.
Or wait for an approval...
Until I am bored.
My time given,
Seeks no reward.
Nor do I rush to aboard a ship,
Not of my accord!
To agree or reconcile with to fit!
My time given,
Seeks no reward.
And I will not investigate,
The slithering movements...
Done to deceive by a snake.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Did Anyone Approach You
You never look up
You never look back
You never say anything based on fact
Youve got issues going way back
You never say hi
You never say much
You never make an effort to stay in touch
Ive got this feeling something happened here
Something happened here
Did anybody feel you?
Did anybody deal you?
Did anybody make you do some things now?
Did anyone approach you?
Did anybody coach you?
Did anybody tell you what to say now?
Hopeless - its not hopeless
Doubtful - but not hopeless at all
You never looked up
You never look back
You never did anything in between
Are things black and white with you
You never believed
You never belonged
Never made milestones to call your own
Ive got this feeling something happened here
Something happened here
Did anybody hide you?
Did anybody fight you?
Did anyone decide to do some harm now?
Did anybody read you?
Did anybody bleed you?
Did anybody feed you lots of junk now?
Hopeless - its not hopeless
Doubtful - but not hopeless
Hopeless - its not hopeless
Doubtful - but not hopeless at all
Hopeless - its not hopeless
Doubtful - but not hopeless at all
Something happened here
Something happened here
song performed by by A-Ha
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It has become impossible to give up the enterprise of disarmament without abandoning the whole great adventure of building up a collective peace system.
quote by Arthur Henderson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.
quote by Oliver Herford
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Wants- sex definer
A confident woman, the man seeks.
An intelligent man, the woman seeks.
A good-featured woman, the man seeks.
A good-natured man, the woman seeks.
A modest woman, the man seeks.
An intellectual man, the woman seeks.
A virtuous woman, the man seeks.
A chivalrous man, the woman seeks.
Be graceful, women!
Be brave, men!
06.05.99
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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I Haven't Forgotten
I haven't forgotten when I meet you first!
I haven't forgotten when I greet you last!
I haven't forgotten your pretty face!
I haven't forgotten your smile and grace!
I haven't forgotten how we started chatting!
I haven't forgotten when we started dating!
I haven't forgotten our last walk together!
I haven't forgotten how I became a loser!
I haven't forgotten how it became too late!
I haven't forgotten when I understood fate!
I haven't forgotten that summer's northwester!
I haven't forgotten and won't forget ever!
poem by Asif Andalib
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A True Friend
He laughed and I laughed with him,
He joked and I joked too,
He smiled and took away despair,
And with it, the doldrums flew.
He raised my spirits upwards,
And left no dread behind,
He was the perfect anecdote,
He was so sweet and kind.
The heart can become heavy,
With all the pressures found,
And when this starts to happen,
You need him to be around.
We all need some uplifting,
We all need light relief,
If one can do this for someone,
It's a gift beyond belief.
poem by Ernestine Northover
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I Really Haven't Got The Time
(Mike Pinder)
You want me to ride
In your car outside
Spend some time with you
Just an hour or two
But I really,
I really haven't
I really haven't got the time
I really
I really haven't
I really haven't got the time
I really haven't got the time
I'm a busy man
Workin' when I can
I got no time to lend
I got no time, time to spend
Oh no, I really
I really haven't
I really haven't got the time
Oh no, I really
I really haven't
I really haven't got the time
I really haven't got the time
(Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!)
Instrumental
I really
I really haven't
I really haven't got the time
Oh no, I really
I really haven't
I really haven't got the time
I really haven't got the time
Workin' nine 'til five
Got to stay alive (I've got to stay alive)
Find somebody who (Go find somebody who)
Got some time for you (Who's got the time for you)
But I really
No, no, no, no
I really haven't
I really haven't got the time
Oh no, I really
No, no, no, no
I really haven't
I really haven't got the time
I really haven't got the time
Really haven't got the time
(Really haven't got time)
*************************************************************
song performed by by Moody Blues
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The great social adventure of America is no longer the conquest of the wilderness but the absorption of fifty different peoples.
quote by Walter Lippmann
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I have found adventure in flying, in world travel, in business, and even close at hand... Adventure is a state of mind - and spirit.
quote by Jacqueline Cochran
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Living A Boys Adventure Tale
(pal waaktaar/morten harket)
Ive fixed my dwelling for the night
Lights in pairs come passing by
Where I hide
I need some time now on my own
Leave my loneliness alone
To lick my wounds
Night has found me just in time
To help me close my eyes
One more time
Living a boys adventure tale
In so many ways
Living a boys adventure tale
For so many days
Im living a boys adventure tale
Cant escape, if I wanted to
Living a boys adventure tale
I may be dreaming but I feel awake
Ive been lost in so many places
Seeked love in so many faces
A change of weather,
The rain pours down
My head in hands,
Pressed to the ground
And where am I supposed to go now
Living a boys adventure tale
In so many ways
Living a boys adventure tale (aah)
Living a boys adventure tale
A voice I hear
Living a boys adventure tale
Singing a lullaby for me
Living a boys adventure tale
Because of you
Living a boys adventure
Oh you know its true
Living a boys adventure tale
In so many ways (aah)
For so many days
I love you. I love you
So many ways
song performed by by A-Ha
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It Is A Joke
it is a joke
and it will always be
a joke
that how it is,
it is a joke, my own joke, and i laugh
when i remember it,
i send it to you and you send it back
like a ping-pong ball
it bounces and i see it coming
back to me
it hits me right in my eyes
got double vision, cross-eyed
i am hurt. It is not a joke anymore.
it is here beside
a tear, a bruise, stained and scarred.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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I Started A Joke
I started a joke. Which started the whole world crying.
But I didn't see that the joke was on me.
Oh, no, I started to cry. Which started the whole world laughing.
Oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me.
I looked at the skies. Running my hands over my eyes.
And I fell out of bed. Hurting my heads from things that I said.
Till I finally died. Which started the whole world living.
Oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me.
I looked at the skies. Running my hands over my eyes.
And I fell out of bed. Hurting my head from things that I said.
Till I finally died. Which started the whole world living.
Oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me.
Oh, no, that the joke was on me. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
song performed by by Wallflowers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Started A Joke
I started a joke. Which started the whole world crying.
But I didn't see that the joke was on me.
Oh, no, I started to cry. Which started the whole world laughing.
Oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me.
I looked at the skies. Running my hands over my eyes.
And I fell out of bed. Hurting my heads from things that I said.
Till I finally died. Which started the whole world living.
Oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me.
I looked at the skies. Running my hands over my eyes.
And I fell out of bed. Hurting my head from things that I said.
Till I finally died. Which started the whole world living.
Oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me.
Oh, no, that the joke was on me. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
song performed by by Wallflowers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lies
Baby
What do I do
Playing my tune for you
Just to get you in the mood
Everybodys going to hollywood
Youre driving me mad
But Im smiling to the crowd instead
A lot of money is at stake, this is a hit and thats a fake
This is what you mean to me
This is what they all should see
Make a make up in a foolish style
Telling the truth by making a big lie
When I come, I come but nothings at ease
Breaking up the whole is a modern disease
Maybe you think tomorrows just a joke
Its a joke after joke after joke after joke
My love
Everythings an interview
And nothings really new
And everybodys looking for clues and you know what to do with a clue
My love
Get ready for the show
Theyre waiting and they will never go
This night is just a go
And its only for show
Dig that deal and be a millionaire
Drinking cocktails in the stratosphere
Getting jetlagged with my business friends in these supersonic wonderlands
Theres a flicker on the graphic display, first hes smiling then hes fading away
Maybe he thinks tomorrows just a joke
Its a joke after joke after joke after joke
Gold/1984
song performed by by Alphaville
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Started A Joke
I started a joke which started the whole world crying
But I didn't see that the joke was on me
I started to cry which started the whole world laughing
Oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me
I looked at the skies running my hands over my eyes
And I fell out of bed hurting my head from things that I said
Till I finally died which started the whole world living
Oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me
I looked at the skies running my hands over my eyes
And I fell out of bed hurting my head from things that I said
I finally died which started the whole world living
Oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me
That the joke was on me
song performed by by Vonda Shepard
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Id Rather Be Strong
(myles goodwyn)
Published by slalom publishing co. - bmi
Its a sad situation
Alot of hopeless information
On the news
Nothins gonna please you
And nothins gonna change
Well thats your view
So many hungry people
Its a shame and is it legal?
Well its a sight
Theres something goin on
Somethin we can change
And its our right
So Id rather be strong
In a hopeless situation, yes
I would rather be strong
In a hopeless situation, yes
I would rather be strong
In a hopeless situation
Yes I would, yes I would
Well you can say its a shame
And things remain the same
And so it goes
But no ones gonna hear you
And no ones gonna see
What doesnt show
Itd be cause for celebration
If only every nation understood
And helping one another
And doing for the other, what they could
And Id rather be strong
In a hopeless situation, yes
I would rather be strong
And to show determination, yes
I would rather be strong
In a hopeless situation
Yes I would, yes I would
Id be a lot better off if I could
Be part of the love
Thats seemingly lost from above
A delicate situation (situation)
Requires contemplation, everyone (everyone)
And someone has to care (someone to care)
When people live in fear of each mans son (each mans son)
So Id rather be strong
In a hopeless situation
Yes, I would rather be strong
In a hopeless situation
Yes, I would rather be strong
In a hopeless situation
Yes, I would, yes, I would
Id be a lot better off if I could
Be part of the love
Thats seemingly lost from above
Id rather be strong, ooh yes, I would
Well, Id rather be strong, yes I would, yes I would, yes I would
Well, Id rather be strong, ooh yes I would
Well, Id rather be strong, be strong, yes I would, yes I would
Well, Id rather be strong, yes I would
Well Id rather be strong, be strong, yes I would
In a hopeless situation
Yes, I would rather be strong
In a hopeless situation, yes
I would rather be strong
In a hopeless situation
Yes, I would rather be strong
In a hopeless situation, yes
I would rather be strong
song performed by by April Wine
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Modern Woman
He seeks a woman who is modern
Without a twinkle of concern
Today joy is no longer just a boy
A woman has more skills to deploy
She is a companion
She is an attraction
She is a distraction
She is a fascination
He seeks a woman who is modern
Parading streaks displaying stubborn
The concepts easy come and easy go
In his dictionary is a big 'No, No, No' especially to the bimbo
She must be able to joke and laugh
Tease him at playtime with a scarf
At home laboriously contribute
Always maintain her youth looking cute
He seeks a woman who is modern
Multi-tasking must be her pattern
Today with her skills wide-ranged
Her role has three sixty degrees changed
She is an intellect
She is almost perfect
She deserves respect
She is a mans hearts elect
He seeks a woman who is modern
Who is yearning to learn!
For the concept of equality
He knows is not a nonentity
Gone are days when it all began!
When woman was born of man
Everything worked according to plan
Till the ban, they both took cover and ran
He seeks a woman who is modern
Who is yearning to learn!
He knows somewhere in his head and mind
The modern woman has risen from behind
Copyright 2007 - Sylvia Chidi
poem by Sylvia Chidi
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