My whole life, I've been telling jokes.
quote by Brad Garrett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
All the Jokes
All the jokes have already been told
And so instead, we tell jokes about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
So instead we tell jokes about how
All the new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
Because they remind us about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these jokes get old very quickly
So we make up new jokes about how
The jokes about the new jokes about how
All the jokes that have already been told
Are starting to get quite old
But after a while, once these jokes
Have gotten quite old themselves
We sit and listen to the silence
And wonder about the past, and how
All the jokes have already been told
Then suddenly, out of nowhere
Somebody comes up with a joke
That had been forgotten long ago
But is so funny we can't even breathe
So we roll on the floor, gasping for air
poem by Derek Ouyang
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Well, the telling of jokes is an art of its own, and it always rises from some emotional threat. The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.
quote by Kurt Vonnegut
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I don't want to be 60 years old standing on stage telling some jokes. I want my life to mean something.
quote by Steve Harvey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
quote by Wanda Sykes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A girl can tell I like her when I blush or start telling bad jokes.
I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age, telling the same joke again and again. Especially if they're jokes that don't make people laugh.
quote by Simon Le Bon
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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laughter in the room
our cheerful clown
he is telling jokes
haiku by Maria Barbara Korynt
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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What Does It Take For Reality To Be Embraced?
What is it that goes on in the minds of those,
Who choose an agenda...
To defeat the ones they have historically opposed?
By the telling of lies and demeaning them,
With stereotypical jokes that seem to continue with no end?
Those old jokes told,
That have rusted against their peeling picket fences.
Delusion!
A delusion kept that their inept perceptions,
Will stay effective with sustained false depth.
And their ability to squeeze the economy,
To have those on their knees and pleading...
With a begging of them to forgive them of 'sins'.
As if they have been annointed as 'chosen' deities.
Worshipped by those suppressed as they believe.
What goes on in the minds of those,
Who choose an agenda...
To defeat the ones they have historically opposed,
By the telling of lies and demeaning them...
With stereotypical jokes?
Delusion!
And what awakens to stun the ones,
To snap out of their spells they've kept so well?
Reality!
And what does it take for reality to be embraced?
A truth that survives that no one can deny.
Once superficiality diminishes from those whose eyes,
Have been cleared and freed from all deceptions.
With trauma to face as a reception!
After inspecting their standards once valued demolished.
'Say what you will.
But a winning was not done with a mandate! '
I agree.
However...
Few losers are heard cheering,
Because they 'almost' defeated that which was opposed.
Or observed snuggling together...
With smiles a mile wide and gratified with eyes closed.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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It Does Get Better Than This
Sunset, a clear blue lake
Fishing with the boys
A weekend hanging out with my best friends
Tall tales and ice cold beer
Well, I cant blame you guys
For saying this must be the living end
Chorus
Hold on, it does get better than this
If you were me
You couldnt disagree
cause Ive held her oh so tight
Shes kept me up all night
Ive tasted her kisses sweet as wine
Sure, this is a real good time
But pardon me boys
It does get better than this
Cool night, by the fire
At least a million stars
A cooler full of fat catfish to fry
Back slapping, telling jokes
And howling at the moon
I hear you saying, aint this
The life but
Chorus
She showed me what the
Good life really means
I know youve had a love like hers
Yeah, in your dreams
Chorus
Oh Im telling you now boys
It does get better than this.
song performed by by Diamond Rio
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You, In The Crowd, Miss...
You, in the crowd, Miss,
surrounded by loudness
and smoke
have you ever thought how this
World is God's greatest joke?
Cars driving on by
Bums standing in lunchlines...
That might be the intro,
but it's surely not the punchline...
Sometimes I see the saddest eyes
Why can't I just be satisfied?
B'cuz, God, even when the sky is sunny
I still don't think the joke is funny! !
None of us folks
like to hear your cruel jokes, man!
I see another broke man
standing in torn clothes on the coast's sand
The precious coast
is mostly occupied by coke cans
And the rich get the most land
While the poor get the crumbs
Maybe thats why most kids take tokes to get dumb
Cuz they're born into a beauty
thats been decaying for a while
God, quit telling jokes...
unless they actually make us smile.
-2010-
poem by Ray Quesada
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Everybody that's living in this earth is living in a situation. It's not narrow-minded to the point where everybody is serious and nobody has a personality. I think people die telling jokes.
Brand New Me
(gamble / huff / butler)
This is my same old coat
And my same old shoes
I was the same old me
With the same old blues
Then you touched my life
Just by holding my hand
Now I look in the mirror
And see a brand new girl
I got a brand new walk
A brand new smile
Since I met you baby
I got a brand new style
Just because of you, boy
Just because of you
Just because of you, boy
Just because of you
I got the same old friends
They got the same old sins
I tell the same old jokes
Give the same old grins
But now the jokes sound new
And the laughter does too
Everyday of my life
As fresh as morning dew
Just because of you, boy
Just because of you
Just because of you, boy
Just because of you
Just because of you, boy
Just because of you
I go to the same old places
See the same old faces
Look at the same old skies
See them all with brand new eyes
Ooh, ooh
song performed by by Dusty Springfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
quote by George Mikes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I've always been terrible on regular sitcoms with lots of jokes. I don't know how to tell jokes.
quote by Rainn Wilson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe.
quote by Emo Philips
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lagos Island [The Governor]
Yet another day on Lagos Island,
Met the governor busy at his
Gardened secretariat.
There he was, frenzied and smiling
At the jokes his sycophants
where telling;
Sir, we have made a new budget
We can now afford for a private jet.
Men in politics should live happy
and big
And sir, your excellency sir, you should not be an exception to it.
Forget the citizens they could never see,
We shall keep them in dark
As we plant more flowers all around.
poem by Efe Benjamin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Mirror Mirror
Mirror, mirror
Up on the wall in the back of the room
As I walk down the hall in the house where I stayed
Tell me something about what I saw in the face of a man
Who once felt it all but feels nothing today
Knock knock
Who's there
I don't know, I can't say
Ask me tomorrow
I'll tell you the same
Ooh, I'm telling you now
I'm telling you now
Ooh, I'm telling you now
I'm telling you now
Trouble trouble
Down in my hood where it's well understood
They love when you're bad
And they hate when you're good
Tell me something about who we are at the end of our days
When our souls become one but our lives separate
Knock knock
Who's there
I don't know I can't say
Ask me tomorrow
I'll tell you the same
Ooh, I'm telling you now
I'm telling you now (It's bound to make you smile)
Ooh, I'm telling you now
I'm telling you now (It's bound to make you smile)
It's bound to make you smile
song performed by by Whiskeytown
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mirror Mirror
Mirror, mirror
Up on the wall in the back of the room
As I walk down the hall in the house where I stayed
Tell me something about what I saw in the face of a man
Who once felt it all but feels nothing today
Knock knock
Who's there
I don't know, I can't say
Ask me tomorrow
I'll tell you the same
Ooh, I'm telling you now
I'm telling you now
Ooh, I'm telling you now
I'm telling you now
Trouble trouble
Down in my hood where it's well understood
They love when you're bad
And they hate when you're good
Tell me something about who we are at the end of our days
When our souls become one but our lives separate
Knock knock
Who's there
I don't know I can't say
Ask me tomorrow
I'll tell you the same
Ooh, I'm telling you now
I'm telling you now (It's bound to make you smile)
Ooh, I'm telling you now
I'm telling you now (It's bound to make you smile)
It's bound to make you smile
song performed by by Whiskeytown
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Under The Sun
Well I don't want no jesus freak to tell me what it's all about
No black magician telling me to cut my soul out
Don't believe in violence, I don't even believe in your peace
I've opened the door now; my mind has been released
Well I don't want no preacher telling me about the god in the sky
No I don't want no one to tell me where I'm gonna go when I die
I wanna live my life; I don't want people telling me what to do
I just believe in myself, 'cause no one else is true
Every day just comes and goes
Life is one big overdose
People try to ruinte
I can see through their frustration
People hiding their real face
Keep on running their rat race
The ante is risen once a week
In their world of make-believe
So believe what I tell you, it's the only way to fight in the end
Just believe in yourself, you know you really shouldn't have to pretend
Don't let those empty people try and interfere with your mind
Just live your life and leave them all behind
song performed by by Black Sabbath
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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