I don't want to be 60 years old standing on stage telling some jokes. I want my life to mean something.
quote by Steve Harvey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
All the Jokes
All the jokes have already been told
And so instead, we tell jokes about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
So instead we tell jokes about how
All the new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
Because they remind us about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these jokes get old very quickly
So we make up new jokes about how
The jokes about the new jokes about how
All the jokes that have already been told
Are starting to get quite old
But after a while, once these jokes
Have gotten quite old themselves
We sit and listen to the silence
And wonder about the past, and how
All the jokes have already been told
Then suddenly, out of nowhere
Somebody comes up with a joke
That had been forgotten long ago
But is so funny we can't even breathe
So we roll on the floor, gasping for air
poem by Derek Ouyang
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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You, In The Crowd, Miss...
You, in the crowd, Miss,
surrounded by loudness
and smoke
have you ever thought how this
World is God's greatest joke?
Cars driving on by
Bums standing in lunchlines...
That might be the intro,
but it's surely not the punchline...
Sometimes I see the saddest eyes
Why can't I just be satisfied?
B'cuz, God, even when the sky is sunny
I still don't think the joke is funny! !
None of us folks
like to hear your cruel jokes, man!
I see another broke man
standing in torn clothes on the coast's sand
The precious coast
is mostly occupied by coke cans
And the rich get the most land
While the poor get the crumbs
Maybe thats why most kids take tokes to get dumb
Cuz they're born into a beauty
thats been decaying for a while
God, quit telling jokes...
unless they actually make us smile.
-2010-
poem by Ray Quesada
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Shakey Ground
Lady luck and the four leaf clover
Wont ease this hurt,i feel all over
My life was one special occasion
Till u leave me damp in the situation
Well well well standing on shakey ground
Ever since you put me down
Standing on shakey ground
Ever since you put me down
My car got repossessed this morning
Harder times I havent seen in years
Able to throw me a life preserver
'cos Im about to drown in my own tears
Well well well standing on shakey ground
Ever since you put me down
Standing on shakey ground
Ever since you put me down
Well well well standing on shakey ground
Ever since you put me down
Standing on shakey ground
Ever since you put me down
Standing on shakey ground
Ever since you put me down
Well well well standing on shakey ground
Shaking, shakey ground
Standing, standing
Standing on shakey ground
song performed by by Don Henley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Well, the telling of jokes is an art of its own, and it always rises from some emotional threat. The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.
quote by Kurt Vonnegut
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My whole life, I've been telling jokes.
quote by Brad Garrett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Billy Crystal knows how to make people laugh. He's got 30 years on stage... there's no telling him what's funny.
quote by Harold Ramis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Getting Old
When you’re young you think you know it all
Then you get old and life begins to unfold.
In their youth they don’t think ahead
The future is something they do not dread.
They feel that everything in life they can control
They’re young and strong and very bold.
Aaaah! Those beautiful days bring back memories
Of how simple life used to be.
Youth had respect for the elderly
And their fellow man.
Now the elderly they try to scam.
When they are older they will see
They want respect and to live with dignity.
they are young and they don’t seem to understand
That with age you may need a helping hand.
Everything in life comes in stages
It’s like a book when you turn the pages
It gets deeper and keeps you enthralled
Until the time that you reach the end
And you’ve lost all your family and friends.
The First stage is when you are a child
And someone is taking care of you for that while.
The Second stage is when you become a teen
And you feel like a king or queen.
You feel that you can not get old
This is what you believe at this stage in your life
Because you’re not looking at the struggles and strife.
The Third stage is the adolescent years
And you feel you’re in control and lose your fears.
The final stage is when you become old and gray
And your youthful years have slipped away.
You look back and ask yourself!
where did All those years go?
Why did I waste so much time?
And the most important thing is
That I am so glad I made you mine
For with you by my side I had a life divine.
So to the youth who have not gotten to this stage
Don’t get angry, and get rid of your rage.
There is no way to turn back the time
For time just moves straight ahead
You’re getting to the point that you now dread.
WELCOME TO OLD AGE! HA-HA
poem by Louis Rams
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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0009 Thank God It's Friday
I’m on night shift at the moment so
I miss the local news. But
I take the dog up the hill, there’s
usually something going on.
there were three of them up
there today but I must have
missed the excitement; just
two old ladies and a young man
standing on that huge pile of skulls
waiting there beneath them
for the inevitable
they were telling each other
Jewish jokes to keep their
spirit up. I only caught
one joke – ‘they say that
Jews are just like
other people - only
more so…’
Laugh? I thought the One
in the middle would die
laughing
I was halfway back when
It all went dark
poem by Michael Shepherd
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Daddy
(reba mcentire)
My daddy is a rancher
Hes wrangled cattle dang near all his life
He also liked to rodeo
He traveled around with four kids and a wife
Well his old ranch is rocky
But his ropes sail smooth for several years
He worked real hard
And roped real good
And tried to get his ranch out in the clear
He didnt want us kids to rodeo
He wanted more out of life for us
Maybe banking, or a lawyer
Or maybe even driving some old bus
Well thats when we took up singing
And his pride grew greater day by day
And I know his eyes grew misty
The night I sang up on the opry stage
Chorus:
Now his ranch is so much bigger
The the days when he first started
The grass grows now where none used to be
His roping got him started
Cattle prices made it better
And hes trying to get his ranch out in the clear
Five years ago september, he bought more steers and hung up all his
Ropes
But he often tells the stories about the rodeos he won and cowboy jokes
Well its funny that the first big roping that he won some thirty years
Ago
Was the same day that I sang on the stage of the grand old opry show
Repeat chorus
Now hes feeding cattle
Toting hay
And branding the y.o.
And his hired hands there to help him
And she also cooks their meals when they get home
They built their ranch together
And listening to the kids sing through the years
Well they worked real hard and roped real good and now they got their
Ranch
Out in the clear
Because when a family works together
They finally get their ranch out in the clear
Out in the clear
song performed by by Reba Mcentire
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Stage
If the world is just a stage
and we're the actors in it,
why do the same ones get to play
the lead roles every minute?
For once I'd like to see a change
take place upon this stage
where the lead characters are the poor
stepping out of their cage.
Where all the minor roles would be given out
to all the power players
who've controlled this drama from the start
having never said their prayers.
And as the curtain rose each day
we would look and see
the poor and needy in front row seats,
the rulers in standing room only.
If this is just a stage we're on
and life is just a play,
then wouldn't it be ingenious
to see them all portray
us.
poem by Edwina Reizer
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
quote by Wanda Sykes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A girl can tell I like her when I blush or start telling bad jokes.
My Life
When I was young
I used to dream of going far
Having my once, in a lifetime change
To prove I was a star.
A thousand times you stood
In the wings
Dreaming it was me,
I heard the people going wild
But it was just my fantasy
Life is a dance
And baby were just players
So stand up and smile
And dont be afraid
Chorus:
This is my night
This is my song
Standing right here
Out on the stage
Is where I belong
This is my song
This is my night
Standing right here
Out on the stage
In the spotlight
I traveled the road
Wherever the road would lead
I made mistakes but i
Wouldnt quit
I made myself believe
Dreams come true
For those who dream
So one day you can say
The music be the fruit of life
And let the music play.
Life is a dance
And baby were just players
So stand up and smile
And dont be afraid
Chorus:
Bridge: (8x)
This is my life
This is my life
song performed by by Donna Summer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There are many stages to a man's life. In the first stage, he is young and eager, like a beaver. In the second stage, he wants to build things, like dams, and maybe chew down some trees. In the third stage, he feels trapped, and then 'skinned.'' I'm not sure what the fourth stage is.
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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laughter in the room
our cheerful clown
he is telling jokes
haiku by Maria Barbara Korynt
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age, telling the same joke again and again. Especially if they're jokes that don't make people laugh.
quote by Simon Le Bon
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Standing In The Shadow
(coverdale)
Im running away from a feeling
Hiding my face in the sand
Im scared to love and lose again
I dont know if I can
I dont need the night to remind me
Where the lonely people go
I try running away from love
But, my heart keeps telling me no
Too many people
Standing in the shadow of love
Too many people
Are standing in the shadow
Standing in the shadow of love
Ive been living so long in the darkness
I know the cold embrace of the night,
When morning comes I close my eyes
cos Im blinded with the light
Taking a chance of a feeling
Is like waiting for a flower to grow,
So I stand at the crossroad, baby,
Wondering which way to go
Too many people
Standing in the shadow of love
Too many people
Are standing in the shadow.
Standing in the shadow of love
Im running away from a feeling,
Hiding my face in the sand
Im scared to love and lose again
I dont know if I can
I dont need the night to remind me
Where the lonely people go
I try running away from love
But, my heart keeps telling me no
Too many people
Standing in the shadow of love,
Too many people
Are standing in the shadow,
Standing in the shadow of love...
song performed by by Whitesnake
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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What Does It Take For Reality To Be Embraced?
What is it that goes on in the minds of those,
Who choose an agenda...
To defeat the ones they have historically opposed?
By the telling of lies and demeaning them,
With stereotypical jokes that seem to continue with no end?
Those old jokes told,
That have rusted against their peeling picket fences.
Delusion!
A delusion kept that their inept perceptions,
Will stay effective with sustained false depth.
And their ability to squeeze the economy,
To have those on their knees and pleading...
With a begging of them to forgive them of 'sins'.
As if they have been annointed as 'chosen' deities.
Worshipped by those suppressed as they believe.
What goes on in the minds of those,
Who choose an agenda...
To defeat the ones they have historically opposed,
By the telling of lies and demeaning them...
With stereotypical jokes?
Delusion!
And what awakens to stun the ones,
To snap out of their spells they've kept so well?
Reality!
And what does it take for reality to be embraced?
A truth that survives that no one can deny.
Once superficiality diminishes from those whose eyes,
Have been cleared and freed from all deceptions.
With trauma to face as a reception!
After inspecting their standards once valued demolished.
'Say what you will.
But a winning was not done with a mandate! '
I agree.
However...
Few losers are heard cheering,
Because they 'almost' defeated that which was opposed.
Or observed snuggling together...
With smiles a mile wide and gratified with eyes closed.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Operators Are Standingby
Operators are standing by
Smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee
Bounce their shoes at the end of their feet
And wish they could go home
Operators are standing by
Poking holes in the ceiling tiles
Making jokes about their old boyfriends
Operators are standing by
Talking about their portrayal
On t.v. where an actress sits
With a headset in outer space
Thats enough talking, ladies
Operators are standing by
Smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee
Pass round the picture of a mobius strip
And wish they could go home
And wish they could go home
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Get Off The Stage
Oh, you silly old man
You silly old man
Youre making a fool of yourself
So get off the stage
You silly old man
In your misguided trousers
With your mascara and your fender guitar
And you think you can arouse us ?
But the song that you just sang
It sounds exactly like the last one
And the next one
I bet you it will sound
Like this one
Downstage, and offstage
Dont you feel all run in ?
And do you wonder when they will take it away ?
This is your final fling
But then applause ran high
But for the patience of the ones behind you
As a verse drags on like a month drags on
Its very short, but it seems very long
And the song that you just sang
It sounds exactly like the last one
And the next one
I bet you it will sound
Like this one
So, get off the stage
Oh, get off the stage
And when we get down off of the stage
Please stay off the stage - all day !
Get off the stage
Oh, get off the stage
And when weve had our money back
Then Id like your back in plaster
Oh, I know that you say
How age has no meaning
Oh, but here is your audience now
And theyre screaming :
Get off the stage
Oh, get off the stage
Because Ive given you enough of my time
And the money that wasnt even mine
Have you seen yourself recently ?
Oh, get off the stage
Oh, get off the stage
For whom, oh ...
For whom, oh ...
For whom, oh ...
For whom, oh ...
Get off the stage
Get off the stage
Get off the stage
For whom the bell tolls
song performed by by Morrissey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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