Diet cures more than the surgical knife does.
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Grapefruit Diet
Whos that waddlin down the street
Its just me cause I love to eat
Fudge and twinkies and deviled ham
Whos real flabby? yes, I am!
Every picture of mes
Gotta be an aerial view
Now my doctor tells me
Theres just one thing left to do
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Throw out the pizza and beer
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Oh, get those jelly donuts out of here
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Might seem a little sever
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Im gettin tired of my big fat rear
Blow, fatty!
Well, I used to live on chocolate sauce
Made sumo wrestlers look like kate moss
Walked down an alley and I got stuck
I got more rolls than a pastry truck
When Im all done eating
I eat a little more
When I leave a room
First I gotta grease the door
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Cant have another eclair
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
I gotta decrease my derriere
Im on a grapefruit diet
Im on a grapefruit diet
Im on a grapefruit diet
No more pie now
No more creme brulee
Lay off the gravy
And souffle
No french fri-yi-yies now
No ice cream parfait
Mr. cheese nacho
Stay away
Oh I think Id sell my soul
For a triple patty melt
But I need a boomerang
When I put on my belt
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Lay off the 3 musketeers
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Until my big booty disappears
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Eat em till theyre comin out of my ears
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
cause I havent seen my feet in years
Im on a grapefruit diet
Im on a grapefruit diet
Im on a grapefruit diet
I think Im about ready for a quarter pounder with extra cheese
I need a side order of onion rings
And dont forget to super-size that
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Surgical Strike
Its lonely in the field
That we send our fighters to wander
They leave with minds of steel
Its their training solution
Weve programmed the way
It leads us to order
Theres no turning back
A surgical strike
Weve taught them not to feel
Performance is their task
A surgical strike
Its time is arriving now for you
The plan for the day
Will be swift as the lightning they harness
The atom display is not mindless illusion
At master control, assessment will not
Be by humans-theres no turning back
A surgical strike
Weve taught them not to feel
Performance is their task
A surgical strike
Its time is arriving now for you
song performed by by Queensryche
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Knife Party
My knife - its sharp and chrome
Come see inside my bones
All of the fiends are on the block
Im the new king, Ill take the queen
cause in here were all anemic
In here - anemic and sweet...so...
Go get your knife, go get your knife
And come in
Go get your knife, go get your knife
And lay down
Go get your knife, go get your knife
Now kiss me
Oooh...well I can float here forever
In this room we cant touch the floor
In here were all anemic
In here - anemic and sweet...so...
Go get your knife, go get your knife
And come in
Go get your knife, go get your knife
And lay down
Go get your knife, go get your knife
Now kiss me
Ohh... I could float here forever
Ohh... anemic and sweet
Ohh... I could float here forever
Ohh... anemic and sweet...so...
Go get your knife, go get your knife
And come in
Go get your knife, go get your knife
And lay down
Go get your knife, go get your knife
Get filthy
Go get your knife, go get your knife
And kiss me...
song performed by by Deftones
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Put Yourself On a Diet of Love
Put yourself on a diet of love.
And recognize the meaning of forgiveness.
To strengthen and not weaken.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
And recognize the meaning of forgiveness.
Through the week and over the weekend...
No matter who may think you're freaking!
Put yourself on a diet of love.
And recognize the meaning of forgiveness.
Recognize the benefit,
Of a happiness exisiting.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
And recognize the meaning of forgiveness.
Only you can testify of Sunlight on the horizon.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
And recognize the meaning of forgiveness.
To strengthen and not weaken.
And declare your peace of mind,
Has come to satisfy your needs.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
And recognize the meaning of forgiveness.
You will find a peace of mind,
Has no time to search for enemies.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Get rid of nitpick nibbling.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Get rid of nitpick nibbling.
You will find a peace of mind,
Has no time to search for enemies.
So...
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Get rid of nitpick nibbling.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Get rid of nitpick nibbling.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Through the week and over the weekend...
To strengthen and not weaken,
Your needs.
You will find a peace of mind,
Has no time to search for enemies.
So...
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Get rid of nitpick nibbling.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Get rid of nitpick nibbling.
You will find a peace of mind,
With a remedy you found to please!
So...
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Eat up all you want to eat!
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Feel the lightness in your feet!
So...
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Eat up all you want to eat!
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Feel the lightness in your feet!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Thigh Way (Song Parody of 'My Way')
to the tune of 'MY Way'
And now, my weigh-ins near
and my poor scale faces destruction
I've cheated, had some LITE beers
then gotten quotes for liposuction
I've eaten way past full
and then had one more for the highway
I've gotten old, I've gotten fat
don't diet my way!
Bagettes, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention
I love my salty snacks
but that's what gave me hypertension
I planned each 3 course meal
at greasy spoons along the highway
Ive gotten old
I've gotten fat
don't diet my way
Yes there were times when I was blue
Ice cream in quarts, I would go through
but through it all, despite the gout
I'd eat it in, or take it out
I ate it all, - and I'm not tall
don't diet my way
I've lunched, I've wined and dined
I've had my failed attempts at losing
but now my jeans just split
and it no longer seems amusing.
To think I ate it all
and may I say not in a shy way
I've gotten old, I've gotten fat
don't diet my way
For what is a meal without cake for desert
and JOGGING IS DANGEROUS - a guy could get hurt
I ate the foods I truly craved
and never once was fashion's slave
The weight-in shows, I need new clothes
don't diet my way!
poem by John F. McCullagh
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Kiss The Knife
its stupid for me
to let u back in my life
but i cant go no more
without kissing the knife
i know i made u made
i shall pay the price
but all i wanna do is.....
kiss the knife
u can stab me in my back
but i can take that
what makes me feel right
is a kiss to the knife
sharpiest knife in the draw
there is my knife out the door
kiss the knife goodbye
it cut me open
n i gave it my heart my life
i want you back
kiss the knife
poem by James Bost
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Each of us should take personal responsibility for our diet, and our children's diet, and the government's role should be to make certain it provides the best information possible to help people stay healthy.
quote by James Talent
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bleeding
Stop bleeding said the knife
I would if I could said the cut.
Stop bleeding you make me messy with the blood.
I'm sorry said the cut.
Stop or I will sink in farther said the knife.
Don't said the cut.
The knife did not say it couldn't help it but
it sank in farther.
If only you didn't bleed said the knife I wouldn't
have to do this.
I know said the cut I bleed too easily I hate
that I can't help it I wish I were a knife like
you and didn't have to bleed.
Well meanwhile stop bleeding will you said the knife.
Yes you are a mess and sinking in deeper said the cut I
will have to stop.
Have you stopped by now said the knife.
I've almost stopped I think.
Why must you bleed in the first place said the knife.
For the same reason maybe that you must do what you
must do said the cut.
I can't stand bleeding said the knife and sank in farther.
I hate it too said the cut I know it isn't you it's
me you're lucky to be a knife you ought to be glad about that.
Too many cuts around said the knife they're
messy I don't know how they stand themselves.
They don't said the cut.
You're bleeding again.
No I've stopped said the cut see you are coming out now the
blood is drying it will rub off you'll be shiny again and clean.
If only cuts wouldn't bleed so much said the knife coming
out a little.
But then knives might become dull said the cut.
Aren't you still bleeding a little said the knife.
I hope not said the cut.
I feel you are just a little.
Maybe just a little but I can stop now.
I feel a little wetness still said the knife sinking in a
little but then coming out a little.
Just a little maybe just enough said the cut.
That's enough now stop now do you feel better now said the knife.
I feel I have to bleed to feel I think said the cut.
I don't I don't have to feel said the knife drying now
becoming shiny.
poem by May Swenson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Secret Self
Every night this body
becomes a dissecting knife
a crime scene of blood
and unstrung flesh,
the lamb spreads the wool
for a deadly charge of skull plate
with a gift of mathematics
a moon cutout in sky
before the shadow of myth in the depth
of tortured chemistry:
the endless nothing will kiss the darkness
my blindness becomes a diet.
poem by Satish Verma
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Hindu Diet Principle
Finally figured out why diets never work
for me: I follow Hindu principles when
starting a new regime, at first a new con-
vert's Medieval fervour for new food, free
from cholesterol, caffeine and sugar - no
chocolates, cakes and bread, only green
tea, fruits, salads, almonds, honey and
yogurt - then comes the backlash
A passionate desire for forbidden stuff,
my old diet, a pantheon of gluttony gods
crawl back and I eat the old illegal foods
and the new healthy things - devoted to
all culinary deities I just assimilate the
new within the old and eat TWICE as
much as before, paying my respects
to all the gods dreamt into existence
In this universe - honouring ALL foods
regardless of oil, fat, sugar, cholesterol
and wheat content - every new diet is a
new addition to the diet I love - thus I'm
worse off than I were before the new
regime kicked off; should I market
the lovely Hindu diet principle?
poem by Margaret Alice Second
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Knife Prty
My knife its sharp and chrome
Come see inside my bones
All of the fiends are on the block
Im the new king
I taste the queen
In here we are all anemic
In here anemic and sweet
So go get your knife
And come in so go get your knife
And lay down
So go get your knife now kiss me
I can float here forever
In this room we cant touch
The floor in here
Were all anemic
In here anemic and sweet so
song performed by by Deftones
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Laid Up Once More
There is another bend in the road, again with another heavy load,
A heavy load of concern and care, another load in which to bear,
Yes, for another time in this life, I will have to go under the knife,
For The Lord has willed for me, yet, one more necessary surgery.
It’s not only me filled with cares, but, concerns my family shares,
It is especially in times like this, when we trust in The Lord Jesus,
As concerns around us are rife, He comforts my concerned wife.
Who is bearing yet another load, as we travel down another road.
I am not eager for the time ahead, laid up in another hospital bed,
And far away from my normal routine, while in that hospital scene,
Again, limited in all that I can do, while The Lord sees me through,
Back again, with my family instead, while far from a hospital bed.
But The Lord knew well before, I’ll have to enter the hospital door,
And why I needed surgery again, as He guides the hands of men,
While they wield that surgical knife, guided by The Creator of life,
So as they work with their hands, the Lord by me faithfully stands.
All this as God works in my days, for my good and God’s Praise,
As The Lord’s comfort and peace, trumps this now awful disease,
While each day I’m again assured, this battle belongs to my Lord,
As God brings me closer for sure, to His timely and ultimate cure.
Cuts Like A Knife
Drivin' home this evening
I coulda sworn we had it all worked out
You had this boy believin'
Way beyond the shadow of a doubt
The I heard it on the street
I heard you mighta found somebody new
Well who is he baby - who is he
And tell me what he means to you
I took it all for granted
But how was I to know
That you'd be letting go
Now it cuts like a knife
But it feels so right
It cuts like a knife
But it feels so right
There's times I've 'bin mistaken
There's tines I thought I'd 'bin misunderstood
So wait a minute darlin'
Can't you see we did the best we could
This would be the first time
Things have gone astray
Now you've thrown it all away
Now it cuts like a knife
But it feels so right
It cuts like a knife
But it feels so right
song performed by by Bryan Adams from Cuts Like A Knife
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Surgery and Divorce
A heart surgery cures one’s heart.
A divorce cures the hearts of the both.
One gives health and the other, relief.
View the divorce as you view the surgery.
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Jim and I are still receiving surgical attention, and will be the remainder of our lives.
quote by Cole Younger
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Six Blade Knife
Your six blade knife can do anything for you
Anything you want it to
One blade for breaking my heart
One blade for tearing me apart
Your six blade knife-do anything for you
You can take away my mind like you take away the top of a tin
When you come up from behind and lay it down cold on my skin
Took a stone from my soul when I was lame
Just so you could make me tame
You take away my mind like you take away the top of a tin
Id like to be free of it now - I dont want it no more
Id like to be free of it now - you know I dont want it no more
Everybody got a knife it can be just what they want it to be
A needle a wife or something that you just cant see
You know it keeps you strong
Yes and itll do me wrong
Your six blade knife - do anything for you
song performed by by Dire Straits
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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