A surgeon experiments on the heads of orphans.
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A surgeon tries his experiments on the heads of orphans.
Like A Surgeon
I finally made it through med school
Somehow I made it through
Im just an intern
I still make a mistake or two
I was last in my class
Barely passsed at the institute
Now Im trying to avoid, yah Im trying to avoid
A malpractise suit
Hey, like a surgeon
Cuttin for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Organ transplants are my line
Better give me all your gause nurse
This patients fading fast
Complications have set in
Dont know how long hell last
Let me see, that i.v.
Here we go - time to operate
Ill pull his indsides out, pull his insides out
And see what he ate
Like a surgeon, hey
Cuttin for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Heres a waiver for you to sign
Woe, woe, woe
Its a fact - Im a quack
The disgrace of the a.m.a.
cause my patients die, yah my patients die
Before they can pay
Like a surgeon, hey
Cuttin for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Got your kidneys on my mind
Like a surgeon, ooh like a surgeon
When I reach inside
With my scalpel, and my forceps, and retractors
Oh oh, oh oh, woe, oh
Ooh baby, yah
I can hear your heartbeat
For the very last time
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Of course, not everybody's willing to go out and do the experiments, but for the people who are willing to go out and do that, - if the experiments don't work, then it means it's not science.
quote by Seth Lloyd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It is not necessarily true that expensive experiments are not worthwhile doing but there are plenty of rather cheap experiments which are certainly worth doing.
quote by Martin Fleischmann
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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What most experimenters take for granted before they begin their experiments is infinitely more interesting than any results to which their experiments lead.
quote by Norbert Wiener
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Trumpet
A friend fell and smashed up his teeth and jaw,
And ended up in 'casualty' what's more,
The surgeon came to sew up his damaged face,
And put his teeth and jaw back into place.
He asked the surgeon, if he would be able to play the trumpet,
No problem at all, the surgeon said, superbly, that I can bet.
Oh, how amazing, said my friend, Gosh, I must tell my wife,
Because, I've never ever played a trumpet, in my life.
poem by Ernestine Northover
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Swinging the Lead
Said the soldier to the Surgeon, "I've got noises in me head
And a kind o' filled up feeling after every time I'm fed;
I can sleep all night on picket, but I can't sleep in my bed".
And the Surgeon said,
"That's Lead!"
Said the soldier to the Surgeon, "Do you think they'll send me back?
For I really ain't adapted to be carrying a pack
Though I've humped a case of whisky half a mile upon my back".
And the Surgeon said,
"That's Lead!"
"And my legs have swelled up cruel, I can hardly walk at all,
Bur when the Taubes come over you should see me start to crawl;
When we're sprinting for the dugout, I can easy beat 'em all".
And the Surgeon said,
"That's Lead!"
So they sent him to the trenches where he landed safe and sound,
And he drew his ammunition, just about two fifty round:
"Oh Sergeant, what's this heavy stuff I've got to hump around?"
And the Sergeant said,
"That's Lead!"
poem by Andrew Barton Paterson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Scientific corporations might well become almost independent states and be enabled to undertake their largest experiments without consulting the outside world - a world which would be less and less able to judge what the experiments were about.
quote by John Desmond Bernal
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Butcher Was Called for The Surgeon İnterview
'Yes, Thank you very much for your interest
About the Surgeon vacancy,
But we're sorry to inform you
That your application has been rejected.'
'Why Sir? '
'They agreed that both of you cut
With your sharp instruments
And take everything out for biopsy.
But the difference they say
A Surgeon fix everything as earlier
And you throw half of the gadgets into trash bin! '
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
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It's the mind the mind
it craves the mountains
below a starlit
tear the sky as if it were a handkerchief
to see what's behind
the tulips bowed their heads
singing the sound of a guillotine
it's the mind the mind
that wants to see
what's inside
what's within
what's behind
a megalotelecopic infantile stupidity
equally insensitive to the result
of its own experiments
poem by Miroslava Odalovic
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Even such an obvious idea as to observe an animal with vertigo or to rotate an animal did not occur to him, in spite of the fact that he conducted numerous vertigo experiments with human subjects and made frequent use of animal experiments.
quote by Robert Barany
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Widow
I don't think men of eighty odd
Should let a surgeon operate;
Better to pray for peace with God,
And reconcile oneself to Fate:
At four-score years we really should
Be quite prepared to go for good.
That's what I told my husband but
He had a hearty lust for life,
And so he let a surgeon cut
Into his innards with a knife.
The sawbones swore: "The man's so fat
His kidneys take some getting at."
And then (according to a nurse),
They heard him petulantly say:
"Adipose tissue is curse:
It's hard to pack them tripes away."
At last he did; sewed up the skin,
But left, some say, a swab within.
I do not doubt it could be so,
For Lester did not long survive.
But for mishap, I think with woe
My hubby might still be alive.
And while they praise the surgeon's skill,
My home I've sold--to pay his bill.
poem by Robert William Service
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Bad El Ess Dee
surgeon general's warning
dont eat this
seek guidance if you can
reject the fist
seek therapy if you can
just try to vomit
seek god if there is one
just try to remember
theres something extra in your pocket
call it profit
who cares how you got it
its there
smile loser
surgeon general's warning
know your acid dealer
Yes, I'm a materialist. I'm willing to be shown wrong, but that has not happened — yet. And I admit that the reason I'm unable to accept the claims of psychic, occult, and/or supernatural wonders is because I'm locked into a world-view that demands evidence rather than blind faith, a view that insists upon the replication of all experiments — particularly those that appear to show violations of a rational world — and a view which requires open examination of the methods used to carry out those experiments.
quote by James Randi
Submitted by Catalin Popescu
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Unwanted Crime
'why r orphans for? ? '
maybe for this...
i was starving and was thirsty
no one took pains for me
melancholy was heard all around
for a living i stole food
my career began by stealing food
dawdlingly i pick-pocketed
then i started shop-lifting
i was very happy to earn easy cash
i joined a mob
we planned for a bank-robbery
accidently i killed the accountant
i have my dangling in two days
still left unanswered;
why r orphans for?
poem by Sakshi Mathur
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Passing By
Close your eyes
Can't you see it's burning slow
Fading down the sparks of fire earth bound
Space in two
Warm beyond the love below
Close your eyes
It's time for us to go
Over our heads
Light keeps passing through
Over our heads
Lite from me to you
Falling down
Way beneath the healing skies
Rise and shine
The crying times left behind
Over our heads
All we see is true
Over our heads
Can't you see it too
Over our heads
Light keeps passing through
Over our heads
Lite from me to you
song performed by by Zero 7
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Children
The boy cried out
Gaily on the ground
At the joy
Of something he had found
Aw, come on children, get your heads back together
Aw, come on children, get your heads back together
Aw, come on children, get your heads back together
The days are getting warmer now
The nights are getting shorter now
And you know we can make it cause you know were alive
But we dont have to take it, any way well survive
If I were you
Id throw it far away
But if you were me
Youd tell me I should stay
Aw, come on children, get your heads back together
Aw, come on children, get your heads back together
Aw, come on children, get your heads back together again
Again, again and again and again
Again, and again and again
Again, again, again
song performed by by America
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I’m Proud Of Having A NORMAL Delivery
Child birth,
Which one is healthier;
And happier?
Is it natural delivery
or Ceasarian delivery?
One is (self) delivered,
another is (surgeon's help) to be delivered;
One is delivery by individual and self,
Another is a procedure carried out by surgeon
through Caesarian section;
A mother once said, I heard,
This is my child
I delivered this child;
I felt the pain,
enjoyed the pain,
with trembling of my thighs;
I am proud of having a NORMAL delivery,
It is a pleasant experience for everybody.
poem by V.K. Kanniappan
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Something About The Trees
I remember what my father told me:
There is an age when you are most yourself.
He was just past fifty then,
Was it something about the trees that make him speak?
There is an age when you are most yourself.
I know more than I did once.
Was it something about the trees that make him speak?
Only a single leaf had turned so far.
I know more than I did once.
I used to think he'd always be the surgeon.
Only a single leaf had turned so far,
Even his body kept its secrets.
I used to think he'd always be the surgeon,
My mother was the perfect surgeon's wife.
Even his body kept its secrets.
I thought they both would live forever.
My mother was the perfect surgeon's wife,
I can still see her face at thirty.
I thought they both would live forever.
I thought I'd always be their child.
I can still see her face at thirty.
When will I be most myself?
I thought I'd always be their child.
In my sleep it's never winter.
When will I be most myself?
I remember what my father told me.
In my sleep it's never winter.
He was just past fifty then.
Submitted by Jt
poem by Linda Pastan
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Warheads
Hey kid,
Wanna have some fun?
Choose a side
And, heres your gun
Brought up,
Knowing right from wrong,
Squash the meek,
Inherit the strong
Just try and,
Cross the line,
Dont even bother
To waste my time
Whats that
Look in your eyes?
Its time I cut you,
Down to size
This world aint
Big enough for two,
And Ive got my
Sights on you
Would you like to be,
Im a warhead
Youre a warhead
A warhead just like me?
Hes a warhead
Shes a warhead
Watch em scream n yell
Would you like to be,
A warhead too
When I blow them
Straight to hell
Ramboy,
Its us and them
Just like your daddy
In vietnam
Monkey see,
Monkey do,
Your boys grown up
Just like you
This world aint
Big enough for two
And Ive got my
Eye on you
Chorus
Ive seen black heads,
White heads,
Red heads,
Dead heads,
Big heads,
Shit heads,
But, theres no heads
Like warheads!
song performed by by Extreme
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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