Like A Surgeon
I finally made it through med school
Somehow I made it through
Im just an intern
I still make a mistake or two
I was last in my class
Barely passsed at the institute
Now Im trying to avoid, yah Im trying to avoid
A malpractise suit
Hey, like a surgeon
Cuttin for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Organ transplants are my line
Better give me all your gause nurse
This patients fading fast
Complications have set in
Dont know how long hell last
Let me see, that i.v.
Here we go - time to operate
Ill pull his indsides out, pull his insides out
And see what he ate
Like a surgeon, hey
Cuttin for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Heres a waiver for you to sign
Woe, woe, woe
Its a fact - Im a quack
The disgrace of the a.m.a.
cause my patients die, yah my patients die
Before they can pay
Like a surgeon, hey
Cuttin for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Got your kidneys on my mind
Like a surgeon, ooh like a surgeon
When I reach inside
With my scalpel, and my forceps, and retractors
Oh oh, oh oh, woe, oh
Ooh baby, yah
I can hear your heartbeat
For the very last time
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
The Widow
I don't think men of eighty odd
Should let a surgeon operate;
Better to pray for peace with God,
And reconcile oneself to Fate:
At four-score years we really should
Be quite prepared to go for good.
That's what I told my husband but
He had a hearty lust for life,
And so he let a surgeon cut
Into his innards with a knife.
The sawbones swore: "The man's so fat
His kidneys take some getting at."
And then (according to a nurse),
They heard him petulantly say:
"Adipose tissue is curse:
It's hard to pack them tripes away."
At last he did; sewed up the skin,
But left, some say, a swab within.
I do not doubt it could be so,
For Lester did not long survive.
But for mishap, I think with woe
My hubby might still be alive.
And while they praise the surgeon's skill,
My home I've sold--to pay his bill.
poem by Robert William Service
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Swinging the Lead
Said the soldier to the Surgeon, "I've got noises in me head
And a kind o' filled up feeling after every time I'm fed;
I can sleep all night on picket, but I can't sleep in my bed".
And the Surgeon said,
"That's Lead!"
Said the soldier to the Surgeon, "Do you think they'll send me back?
For I really ain't adapted to be carrying a pack
Though I've humped a case of whisky half a mile upon my back".
And the Surgeon said,
"That's Lead!"
"And my legs have swelled up cruel, I can hardly walk at all,
Bur when the Taubes come over you should see me start to crawl;
When we're sprinting for the dugout, I can easy beat 'em all".
And the Surgeon said,
"That's Lead!"
So they sent him to the trenches where he landed safe and sound,
And he drew his ammunition, just about two fifty round:
"Oh Sergeant, what's this heavy stuff I've got to hump around?"
And the Sergeant said,
"That's Lead!"
poem by Andrew Barton Paterson
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The Trumpet
A friend fell and smashed up his teeth and jaw,
And ended up in 'casualty' what's more,
The surgeon came to sew up his damaged face,
And put his teeth and jaw back into place.
He asked the surgeon, if he would be able to play the trumpet,
No problem at all, the surgeon said, superbly, that I can bet.
Oh, how amazing, said my friend, Gosh, I must tell my wife,
Because, I've never ever played a trumpet, in my life.
poem by Ernestine Northover
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A Butcher Was Called for The Surgeon İnterview
'Yes, Thank you very much for your interest
About the Surgeon vacancy,
But we're sorry to inform you
That your application has been rejected.'
'Why Sir? '
'They agreed that both of you cut
With your sharp instruments
And take everything out for biopsy.
But the difference they say
A Surgeon fix everything as earlier
And you throw half of the gadgets into trash bin! '
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
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Bad El Ess Dee
surgeon general's warning
dont eat this
seek guidance if you can
reject the fist
seek therapy if you can
just try to vomit
seek god if there is one
just try to remember
theres something extra in your pocket
call it profit
who cares how you got it
its there
smile loser
surgeon general's warning
know your acid dealer
Had Surgery
The small throat, the larger stomach, all this concern
With the wrong certain structure so made of me.
The surgeon has a guile, a patience too dear, but I
Am patient, a patient of well-being so well cooked.
The small throat has been enlarged and the stomach enticed
To cook me the food of luxury, the plastic relish of society.
This religion I follow of a surgeon in surgery shall last
For a life-time, forming more years onto my life tonight.
A doctor is blessed for the guilt he does not own,
A doctor planned me a retreat from life, and the time.
poem by Naveed Akram
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Something About The Trees
I remember what my father told me:
There is an age when you are most yourself.
He was just past fifty then,
Was it something about the trees that make him speak?
There is an age when you are most yourself.
I know more than I did once.
Was it something about the trees that make him speak?
Only a single leaf had turned so far.
I know more than I did once.
I used to think he'd always be the surgeon.
Only a single leaf had turned so far,
Even his body kept its secrets.
I used to think he'd always be the surgeon,
My mother was the perfect surgeon's wife.
Even his body kept its secrets.
I thought they both would live forever.
My mother was the perfect surgeon's wife,
I can still see her face at thirty.
I thought they both would live forever.
I thought I'd always be their child.
I can still see her face at thirty.
When will I be most myself?
I thought I'd always be their child.
In my sleep it's never winter.
When will I be most myself?
I remember what my father told me.
In my sleep it's never winter.
He was just past fifty then.
Submitted by Jt
poem by Linda Pastan
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I’m Proud Of Having A NORMAL Delivery
Child birth,
Which one is healthier;
And happier?
Is it natural delivery
or Ceasarian delivery?
One is (self) delivered,
another is (surgeon's help) to be delivered;
One is delivery by individual and self,
Another is a procedure carried out by surgeon
through Caesarian section;
A mother once said, I heard,
This is my child
I delivered this child;
I felt the pain,
enjoyed the pain,
with trembling of my thighs;
I am proud of having a NORMAL delivery,
It is a pleasant experience for everybody.
poem by V.K. Kanniappan
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Sean
Dear brother,
How I love you so,
For I am so glad that you are in
A better mood than you were
Once long ago.
I am sorry about what our father
Did to you,
For I can relate to you,
For I know what he did to me,
And I am sorry about
The anger you felt for so long.
You seem a lot happier now,
Dear brother,
For I am happy
That you are happy
And that this house
Can be peaceful once again.
I am also happy that
You have become more appreciative,
After Philmont
And you realised what you had,
And you realised what you were missing,
And that you do not take anything for granted.
I am happy that
You are happy to be who
You are,
And that you are a more
Cheerful person,
And more of an optimist,
Than what you were long ago.
Dear brother,
I am glad you are
Not doing immoral things
In high school,
Such as cheating,
And lying,
And other things,
And that you are now giving your
Best effort.
I am glad that you
Are doing better
Than what you once did,
For you can do great things.
I hope you do well
In high school,
Dear brother,
And I hope you do well
In everything you do.
I know you want to be
An orthopaedic surgeon,
And it will suit you well,
Once you work towards it.
You can go to U-M,
If you work really hard,
And if you do well
In your AP classes,
Dear brother,
You can work off
Your freshman
Core classes,
And you can go on
And earn your
Bachelor's and Master's Degree
In college,
Just like your older sister did.
You do not have to be valedictorian,
Nor a salutatorian,
But as long as you get that 3.8
Or 3.9
That you really want,
You can get to U-M,
And be in Ann Arbour
In a heartbeat,
For you can do great things.
Apply with pride,
For you know you did well,
And the Board will notice you,
And you will be a Wolverine
Before you know it.
Brother, you can work hard
In college,
And you can get a Bachelour's Degree
And a Master's Degree
In college,
Just like your sister did.
Then you can go into med school,
Whether it be at U-M,
Michigan State University,
Wayne State University,
Harvard,
Yale,
Or even Princeton,
And you can do extremely well,
Because I believe in you,
Dear brother,
And you can get that white coat,
And get your stethoscope,
Just like your sister did.
Dear brother,
I know you can take the Hippocratic Oath,
And take med school seriously,
And become a great surgeon,
And I know you would love your patients dearly,
For you will become a great man,
But all you have to do is work hard,
And do not get discouraged,
For that will bring you down
To the Ground.
I know you can do it well,
Dear brother,
And I hope you do well with life,
For I wish you the best of luck.
poem by James Roberts
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Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon.
quote by Dag Hammarskjold
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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An economist is a surgeon with an excellent scalpel and a rough-edged lancet, who operates beautifully on the dead and tortures the living.
quote by Nicholas Chamfort
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The beautiful part of writing is that you don't have to get it right the first time, unlike, say, a brain surgeon. You can always do it better, find the exact word, the apt phrase, the leaping simile.
quote by Robert Cormier
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The best surgeon is he that has been well hacked himself.
There is no better surgeon than one with many scars.
I thought I wanted to be a brain surgeon until I realized all the schooling it required. I didn't like school very much so I had to come up with something else.
Call not a surgeon before you are wounded.
Italian proverbs
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
quote by Groucho Marx
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Let me alone: I have yet my legs and one arm. Tell the surgeon to make haste and his instruments. I know I must lose my right arm, so the sooner it's off the better.
quote by Horatio Nelson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Science does not have a moral dimension. It is like a knife. If you give it to a surgeon or a murderer, each will use it differently.
quote by Wernher von Braun
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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