Ballad Of The Caveman
Ill tell you bout a caveman lived a million years ago
When mother earth was young and dinosaurs walked to and fro
His skull contained but half a brain but he didnt mind at all
Hes a hot shot caveman, yah do dah (? )
Who loved to fight and brawl
He walked the misty plate in time to find whatever he could find
Then at last he saw her there, covered with hair
A cavegirl looking right his way, half naked, half well who can say
Such a thing hed never seen before, well then need I tell you more
The caveman fell in love, love, love
And so he wielded his club
Oooh oooh what could he do?
You cant blame a fellow for trying his luck,
Hes just a simple caveman who wanted to---
Well when the cavegirl came around she had some things to relate
About the methods he used to communicate
And she said--
(female spoken)
I never expected a caveman to exhibit much finesse,
But a fifty pound club aint exactly a caress
So if you want to call me, you better learn to talk
Until you learn some manners buddy,
Take a walk!
song performed by by Oingo Boingo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Alley Oop
Hey hey hey
Da da da
Thats what I say
Da da da
Theres a man in the funny papers we all know
Alley oop oop, oop oop oop
He lived way back a long time ago
Alley oop oop, oop oop oop
Well he dont eat nothin but bearcat stew
Alley oop oop, oop oop oop
Oh well this cats name is a-alley oop
Alley oop oop, oop oop oop
Hes the toughest man there is alive
Alley oop
Wears clothes from a wildcats hide
Alley oop
Hes the king of the jungle jive
Look at that caveman go!
Hes got a chauffeur thats a genuine dinosaur
Alley oop oop, oop oop oop
And he can knuckle your head before you count to four
Alley oop oop, oop oop oop
Hes got a big ugly club and a headful of hair
Alley oop oop, oop oop oop
Hes oohhhh eatin grizzly bear
(*laughter*)
Alley oop oop, oop oop oop
Forgot the words!
Hes the toughest man there is alive
Alley oop
Wears clothes from a wildcats hide
Alley oop
Hes the king of the jungle jive
Look at that caveman go!
(*scream*)
He rides through the jungle tearin limbs offa trees
(*scream*)
Alley oop oop, oop oop oop
And knocking great big monsters dead on their knees
Alley oop oop, oop oop oop
Other cats dont bug him cos they know better
Alley oop oop, oop oop oop
cos hes a mean motor scooter and a bad go-getter
Alley oop oop, oop oop oop
Well, uh, hes the toughest man there is alive
Alley oop
Wears clothes from a wildcats hide
Alley oop
Hes a hully gully king of jive
(*laugh*)
Well look at that caveman go!
(*scream*)
There he goes
(there he goes.)
Alley oop oop, oop oop oop
Look at that caveman go
Alley oop oop, oop oop oop
Ride, daddy, ride
Alley oop oop, oop oop oop
Heigh-ho, dinosaur
Alley oop oop, oop oop oop
Oh my goodness, what a big brute he is! hm!
Alley oop oop, oop oop oop
Oh, how would you like a dinosaur like that, for your own? mm!
(*laughter*)
Alley oop oop, oop oop oop
Alley oop oop, oop oop oop
(g minor. d7.)
(what now? what now? )
(just give me a minute.)
(brian, I need a b flat [...]. you know I cant read.)
song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Leapin' Lizards or How to Get the Most Out Your Geico (so easy a caveman can do it)
Hans Kurt Kubus,58, had a 'thing' for lizards.
This German knows his insurance policies,
- and he is no Neanderthal man who likes gizzards.
Kubus, No, not the video game cubis, attached 44 lizards to his body,
He attempted to smuggle them out of New Zealand, Scott free.
Hans had the geckos and skinks within his underwear,
I don't why men put things in there underwear,
I cannot believe they don't care.
Hans did not attempt to light his britches on fire.
As the Muslim terrorist tried to do as he and others flew to Detroit,
The situation was, at the time, dire.
But Hans was caught, he was not as smart as a caveman,
A caveman in New Zealend.
Hans was arrested and sentenced to two weeks in prison and fined $3,450
-before he was deported back to Germany.
Hans Kurt Kubus might try an asp or viper next time around,
-he will probably take pass.
Hans Kurt Kubus is not as smart as New Zealand caveman, -he is a real dumb a$$.
1-31-10
poem by Joe Rosochacki
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Flesh & Bone
By: jimmy buffett
If men came from venus
And women came from mars
Then Id be lunching with my boyfriends
While you girls talked about cigars
But thats not how it happened
Evolution took a different turn
We may be creatures with some unique features
But weve still got a lot to learn
We made it nearly 20 centuries
But your monkeys with ph.d.s
Spun a web of communications
But its all still a tangle to me
I cant tell the spiders
From the dangling flies and moths
I feel like like some outsider
Who seems to have his wires all crossed
I cant fax you my love
I cant email my heart
I cant see your face in cyberspace
I dont know where to start
Im light years behind
From the age they call stone
Im a carbon based caveman
Honey just flesh and bone
I aint no clone
Im just flesh and bone
Trying to connect with you
I aint no clone
Im just flesh and bone
Trying to get my message through
Now we live in this age of computers
They run everything in the world
And Im a little behind on this technical climb
And you are an internet girl
Ive got words but no processor
Ive got feelings but I dont know dos
So I just have to go back to basics
To try to get my point across
Desperate for a glimpse of the future
We use crystals and cards and dice
And that y2k is coming our way
Theyre talking about some worldly strife
Its time to think of simpler options
Its time to formulate a big plan b
So if your hard drive does crash
Ive got some kruggerands stashed
Come on and sail away with me
I cant fax you my love
I cant email my heart
I cant see your face in cyberspace
I dont know where to start
Im light years behind
From the age they call stone
Im a carbon based caveman
Honey just flesh and bone
I aint no clone
Im just flesh and bone
Trying to connect with you
I aint no clone
Im just flesh and bone
Lets run away to timbuktu
(spoken) oh yeah baby come on run away
Dont worry I dont byte
I might nip a little bit
Here let me get that
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Egg
This animated short tells the tale of a young caveman, Bud Buddy, who comes across a small tortoise. Naming it Tortoo, Bud is totally unaware that the evil Dr K also has an eye on his new pet, and of the sinister reasons why.
from Egg (2003)
Submitted by Ana
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Maybe my caveman ancestors invented the wheel or something. I'm not sure.
quote by Brendan Fraser
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Caveman clubbed woman
So no dinner cooked for him
Man clubs man ever since
haiku by Ken e Hall
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Disturbance
When I was a little boy
My mama dropped me on my head
I felt kinda dizzy but the doctor
Made note of all I did
Chorus
Ever since then theres been a slight disturbance in my mind
A kind of disarrangement that the surgeons cannot find
At the age of seven I just couldnt read my abc
But I gave my teacher tips on how the caveman used to be
Chorus
Reach the age of 21 aint got no...to fit my clothes
Day and night Im looning around
Dont know what Im looking for
Will they carry me away?
Oh will they carry me away?
I was 97 and Im sure my brain it had enough
Racing round in jet planes cause
My sports car aint quite fast enough
Chorus
Will they carry me away?
Oh will they carry me away?
song performed by by Electric Light Orchestra
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Disturbance
When I was a little boy
My mama dropped me on my head
I felt kinda dizzy but the doctor
Made note of all I did
Chorus
Ever since then theres been a slight disturbance in my mind
A kind of disarrangement that the surgeons cannot find
At the age of seven I just couldnt read my abc
But I gave my teacher tips on how the caveman used to be
Chorus
Reach the age of 21 aint got no...to fit my clothes
Day and night Im looning around
Dont know what Im looking for
Will they carry me away?
Oh will they carry me away?
I was 97 and Im sure my brain it had enough
Racing round in jet planes cause
My sports car aint quite fast enough
Chorus
Will they carry me away?
Oh will they carry me away?
song performed by by Electric Light Orchestra
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Nutshell
We chase misprinted lies
We face the path of time
And yet I fight
And yet I fight
This battle all alone
No one to cry to
No place to call home
Oooh...oooh...
Oooh...oooh...
My gift of self is raped
My privacy is raked
And yet I find
And yet I find
Repeating in my head
If I cant be my own
Id feel better dead
Oooh...oooh...
Oooh...oooh...
song performed by by Alice In Chains
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Inconsolable Man
These days Im looking like a pitiful sight
Got a suicide smile on my face every night
I walk alone
Talk to myself
Shout angry words up to the sky
People stop and stare
Like Im out of my head
But what do they know
About the tears that I cry
And I cry yes I cry and thats why
Oooh oooh Im an inconsolable man
Oooh oooh since shes gone away thats what I am
Oooh oooh Im an inconsolable man
Nobody understands
An inconsolable man
I stop into a church and I waste another prayer
Well if theres someone listen to me
No ones talkin up there
So I walk down a street
Where lonely men sleep
With what money can buy
I tell myself that life aint over just yet
I can learn to forget if only I try
And I try and I try but its a lie
Oooh oooh Im an inconsolable man
Oooh oooh since shes gone away thats what I am
Oooh oooh Im an inconsolable man
Nobody understands
An inconsolable man
Nobody
Nobody
Nobody understands
And inconsolable man
Oooh oooh Im an inconsolable man
Oooh oooh since shes gone away thats what I am
Oooh oooh Im an inconsolable man
Nobody understands
An inconsolable man
song performed by by Gino Vanelli
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah
I love you baby since we were at school
I didnt show it I was a fool
You were burning I was cold as ice
And baby now I realize
Oh yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Wooo-oooh-oooh-oooh
Wooo-oooh-oooh-oooh
I gave you misery I gave you lies
I never hurt you, apologize
I love your lips I love your eyes
I love your breasts I love your thighs
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Wooo-oooh-oooh-oooh
Wooo-oooh-oooh-oooh
Wooo-oooh-oooh-oooh
Wooo-oooh-oooh-oooh
Now all I can do is hope and pray
That youll forgive me before its too late
Theres only one thing I can say to you
You know I love you you know its true
Oh yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Wooo-oooh-oooh-oooh
Wooo-oooh-oooh-oooh
Wooo-oooh-oooh-oooh
Wooo-oooh-oooh-oooh
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
song performed by by Pogues
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fear may very well be a caveman fear of the predator, of the giant lizard chasing them - maybe that's what Steven Spielberg connects with so well in Lost World.
quote by Oliver Stone
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Precursor To Hate And Greed
But is it not murder was part of humanity for thousands years past.
It was but a need control that made murder wrong.
Civilized is the name of the control, for how many would really think twice about killing someone if the laws of those ties didn't exist.
Caveman, Tribes killed foreign and wide.
This was but a precursor to the things we now call hate and greed.
If only out necessity, would you, could you, should you?
Nobody ever really knows till they face it as ghost of evil thoughts and demands.
poem by Ace Of Black Hearts
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Welcome To The Club
I couldn't help but overhear you talkin' to yourself
How she slipped right through your hands
And in between all of the four letter words
You said you're never gonna understand
You gave her everything you thought she wanted
Now all you want is gone
You're just one of many broken hearted
Wonderin' what went wrong
Welcome to the club
Don't be thinkin' you're the only one
Whose heart was in a hit and run
While you looked the other way
As you're howlin' at the moon
Take a look around the room
At all your fellow fools of love
Welcome to the club
Over in the corner is old Larry John
Gettin' over wife number two
And sittin' next to him is a regular here
They're as lonely as me and you
We got one thing in common when we walked in
A memory we're tryin' to kill
Swearin' up and down we'll never try again but We know we will
Welcome to the club
Don't be thinkin' you're the only one
Whose heart was in a hit and run
While you looked the other way
As you're howlin' at the moon
Take a look around the room
At all your fellow fools of love
Welcome to the club
Welcome to the club
Welcome to the club
Welcome to the club
Welcome to the club
song performed by by Tim McGraw from Tim McGraw
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Getcha Some
(toby keith/chuck cannon)
Well boy meets girl and its a good bet
Girls gonna play a little hard to get
But they both got the same thing on their mind
Aint that the way that the world goes round
Dont it get you up get you down
It gets you walking around with a flashlight trying to find
Love
Oooh gotta getcha some gotta getcha some
Gotta getcha some oooh gotta getcha some love!
Oooh gotta getcha some gotta getcha some
Gotta getcha some oooh gotta getcha some yeah!
Then boy sees girl with another guy
What he wouldnt give just to catch her eye cause man
She is so hot
Course you cant compete with a superstar
Hes got a big old house and little red car
And what need is the one thing you dont have money!
Oooh gotta getcha some gotta getcha some
Gotta getcha some oooh gotta getcha some money!!
Oooh gotta getcha some gotta getcha some
Gotta getcha some oooh gotta getcha some yeah!
Then God smiles down from up above
The money rolls in and they fall in love
From the outside looking in its a dream come true
But as time goes by something turns up missing
Theres not enough hugging and not enough kissing
Before to long they better do what they gotta do you know!
Oooh gotta getcha some gotta getcha some
Gotta getcha some oooh gotta getcha some babies!
Oooh gotta getcha some gotta getcha some
Gotta getcha some oooh gotta getcha some yeah!
You know curtain climbers, and rugrats, and tricycle motors
It dont matter what you call em you gotta have a whole house full of em
Aint nothing in the world like youngins getcha some!
song performed by by Toby Keith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Miss You
I've been holding out so long
I've been sleeping all alone
Lord I miss you
I've been hanging on the phone
I've been sleeping all alone
I want to kiss you
Oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh
Oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh
Oooh oooh oooh
Oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh
Oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh
Oooh oooh oooh oooh
Well
song performed by by Rolling Stones from Some Girls
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Flesh And Bone
If men came from Venus
And women came from Mars,
Then I'd be lunching with my boyfriends
While you girls talked about cigars.
But that's not how it happened;
Evolution took a different turn.
We may be creatures with some unique features
But we've still got a lot to learn.
We've made it nearly twenty centuries
A bunch of monkeys with PhD's.
Spun a web of communications
But it's all still a tangle to me.
I can't tell the spiders
From the dangling flies and moths.
I fell like some outsider,
Who seems to have his wires all crossed.
[Chorus:]
I can't fax you my love.
I can't e-mail you my heart.
I can't see your face in cyberspace,
I don't know where to start.
I'm light years behind from the age the call stone.
I'm a carbon based caveman honey, just flesh and bone.
I ain't no clone, I'm just flesh and bone
Trying to connect with you.
I ain't no clone, I'm just flesh and bone
Tryin' to get the message through.
Now we live in the age computers.
They run everything in the world.
And I'm a little behind on this technical climb
And your are an Internet girl.
I've got words but no processor.
I've got feelings but I don't know DOS.
So I just have to go back to basics
And try to get my point across.
Desperate for a glimpse of the future.,
We use crystals and cards and dice.
And that Y2K is coming our way.
They're talkin' 'bout some worldly strife.
It's time to think of simpler options.
It's time to formulate a big plan B,
So if your hard drive does crash,
I got some Krugerands stashed.
Come on and sail away with me.
-
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Need Your Loving Tonight
No I'll never look back in anger
No I'll never find me an answer
You promised me you'd keep in touch
I read your letter and it hurt me so much
I said I'd never never be angry with you
I don't wanna feel like a stranger no
Because I'd rather stay out of danger
I read your letter so many times
I got your meaning between the lines
I said I'd never never be angry with you
I must be strong so she won't know how much I miss her
I only hope as time goes on I'll forget her
My bodies aching can't sleep at night
I'm to exhausted to start a fight
And if I see her with another guy
I'll eat my heart out because I love her
Love her love her love her
Come on baby let's get together
I'll love you baby I'll love you forever
I'm trying hard to stay away
What made you change? What did I say?
Oooh I need your loving tonight
Oooh I need your loving
Oooh I need your loving
Oooh I need your loving babe tonight
Hit me
Oooh I need your loving tonight
No I'll never look back in anger
No I'll never find me an answer
Can't be no warning how could I guess?
I'll have to learn to forgive and forget
Oooh I need your loving
Oooh I need your loving
Oooh I need your loving tonight
song performed by by Queen from The Game
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Education
In a deep dark jungle long time ago
Lived a lonesome caveman
He was a solitary soul
And he spent his playtime
Chewing meat from bones.
He didnt know how to talk much
He only knew how to groan
Then he lifted up his hands and reached to the sky
Let out a yell and no one replied.
Frustration and torment tore him inside
Then he fell to the ground and he cried and he cried.
But then education saved the day.
He learned to speak and communicate
Education saved the day.
He thanked God for the friends he made.
cos everybody needs an education
Everybody needs an education.
Black skin, red skin, yellow or white,
Everybody needs to read and write
Everybody needs an education.
Thank the day when that primitive man
Learned to talk with his brothers
And live off the land.
He left his cave and he moved far away
And he lived with his friends in a house that theyd made
He learned to think and to work with his brain
And he astounded his friends with all the knowledge he gained
He wrote it down on a rock that he found
And he showed all his friends and they passed it around
And then education came that day.
The day it came was a sacred day.
Education came that day
He thanked God for the friends hed made.
Well man built a boat and he learned how to sail
And he travelled far and wide
Then he looked up above saw the stars in the sky
So he learned how to fly.
Thanks to all the mathematicians
And the inventors with their high i.q.s
And the professors in their colleges
Trying to feed me knowledge
That I know Ill never use.
Thank you sir for the millions of words
That youve handed me down and youve told me to learn
But Ive got words in my ears and my eyes
Ive got so many facts that I must memorize
Because educations doing me in
I want to stop but my heads in a swim
Education drives me insane
I cant recall all the facts on my brain.
Education came that day
The day it came was a sacred day
Education saved the day
He thanked God for all the friends he made.
Teacher, teach me how to read and write,
You can teach me about biology,
But you cant tell me what I am living for
cos thats still a mystery.
Teacher, teach me about nuclear physics
And teach me about the structure of man,
But all your endless calculations
Cant tell me why I am.
No you cant tell me why I am,
No you cant tell me why I am.
Everybody needs education,
Open universities, education.
Every race every creed, education.
And every little half-breed, education.
Every nationality, education.
All the little people need education.
Eskimos and pygmies need
And even aborigines, education.
Well physics and geography, education.
Philosophy and history, education.
Science and biology, education,
Geometry and poetry, education.
Well, education, education, education, education
(repeat education till end)
song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Archer who’s greedy for venison
A golden antelope jumps in a rainforest.
In the moonlit night the ardent archer makes his bow and arrows
But this time he is very sensitive about the rare deer.
He used his special arrow for the hunt.
The deer ran away with the pierced arrow into the jungle.
He followed the woman like cry and Alas! He saw a Nymph was lying on the grass in cold blood.
She stammered “Caveman love is tastier than venison
But it’s too late now my dear.”
She died on his lap sadly.
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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