A Thousand Steps To Nowhere
Iris
A thousand steps
Paperman
Obviously
Iris
The jewish cemetery
Paperman
It may come in handy
Iris
Let me get him. your heart
Paperman
Stay here
A thousand steps to nowhere
That is all I see
This night is asking questions
Where and what for me
A thousand miles from henny
Who warned me from the start
I feel foolhardy, I miss sardis
Thought I was so smart
Chorus
Down is up, up is down
Thats just life in kinja town
The natives and the castaways
Thats just life for me these days
Henny
Ive had it with this weather
My skin is pale as bleach
Im heading back to kinja
And stretch out on the beach
My past is in these boxes
All clean and neatly packed
No time for sorrow, I leave tomorrow
Theres no turning back
No turning back, Im island bound
I want to turn from white to brown
Sing and dance to calypso songs
Trade in this mink for a pink sarong
Iris
I really do admire him
And what hes taking on
This island and these crazies
But I fear hell soon be gone
Cant let myself fall for him
A terrible mistake
Hes got henny, Im one too many
This time my heart could break
Chorus
A thousand steps to nowhere
That is all I see
Paperman
My heart is pounding madly
Iris
Mine too, wont let me be
A thousand reasons not to
Paperman
Strange but oh so true
Im behaving
Iris
Youre not past saving
A thing we both should do
Henny
Cause hes happy
Duet
Down is up, up is down
Henny
I understand
Duet
Thats just life in kinja town
Henny
Cause hes my man
Duet
The natives and the castaways
Thats just life for us these days
Henny
Cause hes happy
Duet
Down is up, up is down
Henny
I understand
Duet
Thats just life in kinja town
Henny
Cause hes my man
Duet
The natives and the castaways
Ensemble
Thats just life for us these days
Thats just life for us these days
Paperman
Gilbert come and prime the pump
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
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Related quotes
Time To Go Home
Henny
Hey now mine host, dont be so melancholy
Youve made the most out of amy balls folly
You went crazy, ran off with an actress and didnt get rich
What can I say? I still love you, you son of a bitch
Norman new yorks gray and cold but somehow I miss that
Norman and
Running the gull reef club bordered on hand to hand combat
Henny
You beat the odds, water gods now its time for shalom
Hey mr. paperman, I think its time to go home
Chorus
Time to go home norman
Time to go home
Norman
Hey mistuh papuh-mon
Time to go home
Chasin illusions can get quite confusin
Hey mr. papuh-mon time to go home
Norman
Henny Im sorry I hurt you
Thats all I can say
Henny
Who knows this whole episode
Just might end up on broadway
Norman
To hell with bureaucracy and island mystery
Henny
Lets clear the air dear but no more affairs here
Norman
To hell with the hill crowd and life or death parties
Henny
I know a guy who has contacts at sardis
Duet
Hey mister (mrs.) paperman I think its time to go home
Chorus
Time to go home norman
Time to go home norman
Hey mistuh papuh-mon
Time to go home
Chasin illusions can get quite confusin
Hey mr. papuh-mon time to go home
Time to go home norman
Time to go home norman
Hey mistuh papuh-mon
Time to go home
Chasin illusions can get quite confusin
Hey mr. paperman
Time to go home
Time to go home norman
Time to go home norman
Hey mistuh papuh-mon
Time to go home
Chasin illusions can get quite confusin
Hey mr. paperman time to go home
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
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Who Are We Trying To Fool?
Iris
I like to think my heart is just a muscle
A muscle that Ive learned to control
I figured, hell, one harmless midnight tussle
With you would rest quite easy on my soul
Now I see youre a tres, tres goddamn charmer
An actress is taught to be cool
But who am I trying to fool?
Paperman
Id like to toast your firm determination
But human natures got the best of me
Ive never forced myself upon a lady
Iris
Youre about as subtle as artillery
Paperman
Ive been here before and I have to admit
That I cant keep my cool
Who are we trying to fool?
Who are we trying to fool?
Paperman dont look for me to be your savior
Iris no good can come from this behavior
Sheila
This aint no mystery, look at our history
Its just another wild caribbean night
The rum and drums just bring out whats in us
Temptations been here since that very first bite
Who are they tryin to fool?
Who are they tryin to fool?
They should forget it, theyll both regret it
He wants a push, she needs a shove
Hes got a good wife, she hides a dark life
Fuel for combustion ? anger and love
Who are they tryin to fool?
Who are they tryin to fool?
Who are they tryin to fool?
Paperman
Life is for most of us one long postponement
Iris
If we think too much I guess well miss our chance
Paperman
Its our time, our night, our island, not our future
Iris its not the whole tamale, just one dance
Duet
So who are we trying to fool?
Who are we trying to fool?
Lets break all of those goddamn kinja rules
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
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Hennys Song: The Key To My Man
Notes: henny is normans wife of many years. she knows that his move to the caribbean is a midddleaged fantasy, fraught with potential disaster, but she means to stand by him. though she to is s
By the islands charm, shes smart enough too know its an illusion. shes not quite smart enough to perceive that iris tramm is a threat to their marrage. henny sings this song at the kinja ai
, as she is returning to new york to close up their apartment. off and on jimmy and I talked about having a married love song for henny. during rehearsal jimmy wrote this lovely song
St overnight.
I find myself between two worlds
Bewildered all to hell
Up north I have my mid-town life
Down here my new hotel
What kind of a dream is this
Iont know where I will land
Its a caribbean fairy tale
The snow has turned to sand
Chorus:
But hes happy
I understand
And thats the key
To my man
Bridge:
Id like to have a clearer view
And listen to my hunches
Without the rum-lined kinjan fog
Of a thousand planters punches
Iguess Ill have to let it go
And simply tag along
Just let myself get all caught up
Forget whats right or wrong
What kind of dream is this
Thats causing me this strife
My husbands chasing windmills
And Im still the nervous wife
Chorus:
Cause hes happy
And hes my man
What goods this key in my hand
Oh hes happy
I understand
And thats the key
To my man
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
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Kinja Rules
Lorna
Mista paper, senator pullman he just call.
He ask how come ya don need no watah
Norman
Dont need water!
Lorna
Well, you let the barge go by
He comin to talk to you
Norman
Who is senator pullman anyway?
Why do I have to signal the barge?
Iris
Welcome to the caribbean, put on a shirt at least.
The big enchilada is on his way
Senator pullman
Mr. norman paperman, I presume?
Joinin us in kinja for de tourist boom?
Norman
Norman paperman at your service.
Meeting the kingpin, Im slightly nervous
Pullman
Mr. paperman, I here to be your friend
But theres just certain rules here we can not bend
Paperman how about the water? my cisterns flat.
Pullman
Why sure, I come to take care of dat
Chorus
But you gotta play by kinja rules
Forget about da tings you learned in school
We use a different box of tools
And you gotta play by kinja rules
Pullman
Now dis alien aint bonded for no gondolier
Hes bonded for gardener-dat why he here
De chief of immigration a power in dis town
Chief find out-your hotel close down
Paperman
Hereafter gardenings all hell do I didnt know, I swear to you
Pullman
Doan hoross yourself, its okay mister
De chief of immigration-shes my sister
Chorus
But you gotta play by kinja rules
Forget about that civics course you learned in school
We aint city folks, but we aint fools
And you gotta play by kinja rules
Pullman
Stop!
Paperman
How about my water?
Pullman
Hold you hosses I come to dat
Look at da chambermaid, she mighty fat
And if dat alien have her baby here
Dat baby an american, free and clear
De secretary of interior, he gonna rave
And dat baby on your record
From da cradle to da grave
Your responsibility-i doan mean maybe
Da bottom line sir, dat your baby
Chorus
You gotta play by kinja rules
Forget about da tings you learned in school
We use a simple box of tools
And you gotta play by kinja rules
Paperman
Ill send her away-but this clubs bone dry
Pullman
No problem, lots of watah you can buy
Paperman
Buy water, senator?
Thats your advice?
Pullman
Chief of public works give you a special price
Paperman
Chief of public works
Whos he-your brother?
Pullman
Ha ha, not bad shes lornas mother
Chorus
So you gotta play by kinja rules
Forget about da tings you learned in school
We use a different box of tools
And you gotta play by kinja rules
Paperman
Senator, I thank you.
Now one things clear
Ive got to hire a kinjan gondolier
Pullman
Now dat a problem-
Paperman
Whats the reason
Pullman
No unemployment-its high season
Cant hire no kinjan to wear dis hat
Paperman
And I cant use an alien?
Pullman
Dont ask dat
Paperman
Youve been a great help, sir-youve got my vote
Just tell me-whos going to row that boat?
Pullman
You gotta play by kinja rules
Forget about da tings you learned in school
Just take it easy, play it cool
But be sure to
Paperman joins pullman
Play by kinja rules
Extra chorus
You gotta play by kinja rules
Forget about that civics course you learned in school
God watches out for drunks and fools
But forget the ten commandments here
Kinja rules
Kinja rules
Kinja rules
Kinja rules
Pullman
Norman paperman, I feel you soon adjust to kinja, hahaha
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
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Its All About The Water
Sheila
Watah in de kitchen!
Church
Water in the bar!
Ensemble
Its all about da water, dont you know
Kinja needs da water, da h2o
Its all about da water, it aint no lie
Widout de water we shrivel up and die
Sheila
De main cistern go down to zero
De new bossman, he be a hero
Solve de problem, so give a cheer-o
He turn on de water!
Ensemble
H2 h2 0 h2 h2 0
Iris
I had my doubts about this new yorker
Thought hed just be a big talker
But as a bossman, hes a corker
He turned on the water
Ensemble
H2 h2 0 h2 h2 0
Paperman
Im new to kinja, I admit
But nothing heres gonna make me quit
This island dont scare me a bit
I turned on the water!
Ensemble
Its all about da water, dont you know
All about da water, da h2o
All about da water, it aint no lie
Widout da water we shrivel up and die!
Ensemble
H2 h2 0 h2 h2 0
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
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Intro-the Legend Of Norman Paperman/kinja
By jimmy buffett, 1996
Jimmy buffett explores new creative ground here, putting the two-hundred year history of amerigo, a fictitious caribbean island, into a calypso number, and framing it into another song, the lege
Norman paperman, the theme of the show. the principal singer is the governor of the island, and the key characters of the show sing verses about the history.
Narrator
Kinja was the name of the island when it was british. the actual name was king george the third island, but the islanders shortened that to kinja. now the name in the maps and the guidebooks is
Go, but everybody who still lives there still calls it kinja. the united states acquired the island peaceably in 1940 as part of the shuffling of old destroyers and caribbean real estate that we
Between mr. roosevelt and mr. churchill. the details of the transaction were and are vague to the inhabitants. the west indian is not exactly hostile to change, but hes not much inclined to be
In it. meantime in a fashion amerigo is getting americanized. the inflow of cash is making everyone more prosperous. most kinjans go along cheerily with this explosion of american energy in the
Bbean. to them it seems like a new harmless and apparently endless carnival.
Sanders
Have you ever dreamed of escaping from your dull existence to a new life on a tropical island? our story is about a man who did it - a real person, whose true adventure has become a legend here
E caribbean. welcome one and all to the legend of norman paperman.
Ensemble
Dis is the legend of norman papuhman
Tale from the islands well share
Chasin illusions can get quite confusin
Is it a dream or a nightmare
Women
Dis is the legend of norman papuhman
Tale from the islands well tell
Men
Chasin illusions can get quite confusin
Cause heaven can turn into hell.
Sanders [sings]
Kinjas the name of the island
Its been kinja for over two hundred years
But remember paradise
Doesnt come without a price
Let me make that abundantly clear
Kinja, our beautiful island
In a windward archipeligo
Weve been english, french and dutch
Never seemed to matter much
Now were officially amerigo
Ensemble
Were kinja
Still kinja
Our kinja
Sanders
(sheila, chef at the gull reef club)
Sheila
Our ancestors came in the slave ships
To work for the privileged few
Who wore paris fashions
And lived in pink mansions
While we huddled in shacks of bamboo
Den da sugar beet bring us our freedom
With the help of our God we got through
Insurrection, beheadins, funerals and weddins
Hurricanes and a world war or two
Chorus
Hurricanes and a world war or two
Were kinja
Still kinja
Our kinja
Were kinja
Still kinja
Our kinja
Sanders
(gilbert, gondolier of the gull reef club)
Gilbert
Mr. churchill had to get some destroyers
To put old hitler six feet below
Fdr he pulled a nifty
Got our island for just fifty
And do limeys dey pack up and go
We dance through the streets in celebration
Da fireworks dey light up da sky
We got hotdogs and highways
Got fords and chevrolets
Not to mention the forth of july
Ensemble
Not to mention the forth of july
Were kinja
Still kinja
Our kinja
Were kinja
Still kinja
Our kinja
Sanders
(senator pullman, the islands big enchilada)
Senator pullman
Now the yankees, they come wid der dollars
Its a beehive of activity
Sell dem crawfish and rum
Keep dem dizzy and numb
Oh were liken this prosperity
We got new holidays for celebration
We got new laws, but no one complies
We got crawfish and mangos
Calypso and tangos
Ahhh, but we short on our watah supply
Ensemble
Mighty short on our watah supply
We got the carnival
We love the carnival
The kinja carnival
Carnival
We got the carnival
Dont stop the carnival
We love the carnival
And our story begins
Dis is da legend of norman papuhman
Tale from de tropics well tell
Chasin illusions can get quite confusin
Cause heaven can turn into hell!
The legend of - norman paperman
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
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My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?
quote by Henny Youngman
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
quote by Henny Youngman
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
quote by Henny Youngman
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
quote by Henny Youngman
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You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.
quote by Henny Youngman
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Hippolyte's Habitat
Swing my cutlass at the tall grass
And anything that gets in my way
That's my job here, let's be quite clear
Working is how i spend my day
Scary? verrry i can instill some fear
Owners don't know this is my show
I've seen them all disappear
Chorus
Who's the boss man?
Surely ain't dat paperman
I'm the only boss around
Who's the boss man?
Surely ain't dat white man
I'm de only boss in town
Creole
Qui moun' qui, patron la c' pa blanc la ce moin'
Qui moun' qui, patron la c' pa blanc la ce moin'
Chorus
Who's the boss man?
Surely ain't dat paperman
He be an annoying little gnat
Who's the boss man?
Surely ain't dat white man
Dis is hippolyte's habitat
Creole
Qui moun' qui, patron la c' pa blanc la ce moin'
Qui moun' qui, patron la c' pa blanc la ce moin'
Now you've met me, don't forget me
Hippolyte the french handyman
But my work waits, please the ingrates
They're all a part of my plan
Chorus
Who's the boss man?
Surely ain't dat paperman
He be an annoying little gnat
Who's the boss man?
Surely ain't dat white man
Dis is hippolyte's habitat
Creole
Qui moun' qui, patron la c' pa blanc la ce moin'
Qui moun' qui, patron la c' pa blanc la ce moin'
There's a place in france where they do the cutlass dance
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
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Hippolyte's Habitat (Qui Moun' Qui)
Swing my cutlass at the tall grass
And anything that gets in my way
That's my job here, let's be quite clear
Working is how I spend my day
Scary? Verrry I can instill some fear
Owners don't know this is my show
I've seen them all disappear
Chorus
Who's the boss man?
Surely ain't dat Paperman
I'm the only boss around
Who's the boss man?
Surely ain't dat white man
I'm de only boss in town
Creole
Qui moun' qui, patron la C' pa blanc la ce moin'
Qui moun' qui, patron la C' pa blanc la ce moin'
Chorus
Who's the boss man?
Surely ain't dat Paperman
He be an annoying little gnat
Who's the boss man?
Surely ain't dat white man
Dis is Hippolyte's habitat
Creole
Qui moun' qui, patron la C' pa blanc la ce moin'
Qui moun' qui, patron la C' pa blanc la ce moin'
Now you've met me, don't forget me
Hippolyte the French handyman
But my work waits, please the ingrates
They're all a part of my plan
Chorus
Who's the boss man?
Surely ain't dat Paperman
He be an annoying little gnat
Who's the boss man?
Surely ain't dat white man
Dis is Hippolyte's habitat
Creole
Qui moun' qui, patron la C' pa blanc la ce moin'
Qui moun' qui, patron la C' pa blanc la ce moin'
There's a place in France where they do the cutlass dance
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
quote by Henny Youngman
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
quote by Henny Youngman
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
quote by Henny Youngman
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The Last Duet
(With Lily Tomlin)
Lily:
You creep
Into my heart
And make my heart burn
Barry:
You sneak
Into my mind
And make my head ache
Both:
There are things I long to tell you
Lily:
You're much too blonde
Barry:
You snore
Both:
Look
It's time to face the music
Barry:
Bye bye
Lily:
Don't slam the door
And I don't want
Barry:
I don't want
Lily:
I don't want
Barry:
I don't want
Both:
No, I don't want your flowers anymore
This is the last duet
Last chance you're gonna get
No more ha harmony
For you and me
This is the final song
And when the music's through
This is the last duet
I'll ever do with you
Barry:
You're not the one that I want
Ooh ooh ooh
Tood-le-oo (Honey)
Lily:
Don't go breakin' my back
Don't call me
I'll call you
Both:
Back together
Reunited
Should feel so good
They say
So I hope there's no hard feelings
Barry:
Don't go 'way mad
Lily:
Just go 'way
Both:
'Cause
Enough
Is enough
Is enough
Is enough
Too much too little too late
Lily:
Tonight
Barry:
Tonight
Both:
With you I'm bored again
This is the last duet
Last chance you're gonna get
No more ha harmony
For you and me
This is the final song
And when the music's through
This is the last duet
I'll ever do with you
Both:
This is the last duet
Last chance you're gonna get
No more ha harmony
For you and me
This is the final song
And when the music's through
This is the last duet
I'll ever do
I'll ever do
I'll never never never never never do
With you
song performed by by Barry Manilow
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What
quote by Henny Youngman
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My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!
quote by Henny Youngman
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If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning,....sleep late.
quote by Henny Youngman
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