This Is The Army Mister Jones
sheet music version:]
A bunch of frightened rookies were list'ning filled with awe
They listened while a sergeant was laying down the law
They stood there at attention, their faces turning red
The sergeant looked them over and this is what he said
This is the Army, Mister Jones!
No private rooms or telephones
You had your breakfast in bed before
But you won't have it there any more
This is the Army, Mister Green!
We like the barracks nice and clean
You had a housemaid to clean your floor
But she won't help you out any more
Do what the buglers command
They're in the Army and not in a band
This is the Army, Mister Brown!
You and your baby went to town
She had you worried but this is war
And she won't worry you anymore
song performed by by Irving Berlin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
I remember when I was in the army, we had the toughest drill sergeant in the world. He'd get right up next to your face and yell, and if you didn't have the right answers, mister, you'd be peeling potatoes or changing the latrine. Hey, wait. I wasn't in the army. Then who WAS that guy
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Back to the Army Again
I'm 'ere in a ticky ulster an' a broken billycock 'at,
A-layin' on the sergeant I don't know a gun from a bat;
My shirt's doin' duty for jacket, my sock's stickin' out o' my boots,
An' I'm learnin' the damned old goose-step along o' the new recruits!
Back to Army again, sergeant,
Back to the Army again.
Don't look so 'ard, for I 'aven't no card,
I'm back to the Army again!
I done my six years' service. 'Er Majesty sez: "Good day --
You'll please to come when you're rung for, an' 'ere's your 'ole back-pay:
An' fourpence a day for baccy -- an' bloomin' gen'rous, too;
An' now you can make your fortune -- the same as your orf'cers do."
Back to the Army again, sergeant,
Back to the Army again.
'Ow did I learn to do right-about-turn?
I'm back to the Army again!
A man o' four-an'-twenty that 'asn't learned of a trade --
Beside "Reserve" agin' him -- 'e'd better be never made.
I tried my luck for a quarter, an' that was enough for me,
An' I thought of 'Er Majesty's barricks, an' I thought I'd go an' see.
Back to the Army again, sergeant,
Back to the Army again.
'Tisn't my fault if I dress when I 'alt --
I'm back to the Army again!
The sergeant arst no questions, but 'e winked the other eye,
'E sez to me, " 'Shun!" an' I shunted, the same as in days gone by;
For 'e saw the set o' my shoulders, an' I couldn't 'elp 'oldin' straight
When me an' the other rookies come under the barrik-gate.
Back to the Army again, sergeant,
Back to the Army again.
'Oo would ha' thought I could carry an' port?
I'm back to the Army again!
I took my bath, an' I wallered -- for, Gawd, I needed it so!
I smelt the smell o' the barricks, I 'eard the bugles go.
I 'eard the feet on the gravel -- the feet o' the men what drill --
An' I sez to my flutterin' 'eart-strings, I sez to 'em, "Peace, be still!"
Back to the Army again, sergeant,
Back to the Army again.
'Oo said I knew when the troopship was due?
I'm back to the Army again!
I carried my slops to the tailor; I sez to 'im, "None o' your lip!
You tight 'em over the shoulders, an' loose 'em over the 'ip,
For the set o' the tunic's 'orrid." An' 'e sez to me, "Strike me dead,
But I thought you was used to the business!" an' so 'e done what I said.
Back to the Army again, sergeant,
Back to the Army again.
Rather too free with my fancies? Wot -- me?
I'm back to the Army again!
Next week I'll 'ave 'em fitted; I'll buy me a swagger-cane;
They'll let me free o' the barricks to walk on the Hoe again,
In the name o' William Parsons, that used to be Edward Clay,
An' -- any pore beggar that wants it can draw my fourpence a day!
Back to the Army again, sergeant,
Back to the Army again.
Out o' the cold an' the rain, sergeant,
Out o' the cold an' the rain.
'Oo's there?
A man that's too good to be lost you,
A man that is 'andled an' made --
A man that will pay what 'e cost you
In learnin' the others their trade -- parade!
You're droppin' the pick o' the Army
Because you don't 'elp 'em remain,
But drives 'em to cheat to get out o' the street
An' back to the Army again!
poem by Rudyard Kipling
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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No More Mr. Nice Guy
I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing
'Til they got a hold of me
I opened doors for little old ladies
I helped the blind to see
I got no friends 'cause they read the papers
They can't be seen with me
And I'm gettin' shot down
And I'm feeling mean
No more Mister nice guy
No more Mister clean
No more Mister nice guy
They say he's sick, he's obscene
My dog bit me on the leg today
My cat clawed my eye
My mom's been thrown out of the society circle
My dad's had to hide
I went to church incognito
And everybody rose, the reverend Smith
He recognized me
Punched me in the nose
No more Mister nice guy
No more Mister clean
No more Mister nice guy
They say he's sick, he's obscene
song performed by by Megadeth
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mrs. Ward
On friday afternoon at three o'clock
A passing lady looked into a shop
Her eyes lit up as this the sign she read
Recruiting office, that is what it said
Exacitedly she stepped inside to see
How her sons would fair if they were militry
The man in charge to her was very sweet
And said, "please sign here on this little sheet"
But when she got home her mind grew many fears
The message from the soldiers in the war rang in her ears
Don't put your boys in the army mrs. ward
You know they'll only waste away, oh oh
Don't put your boys in the army mrs. ward
You know they'll only waste away, oh oh
At six o'clock the lads came home from work
She told them what she'd done, they went beserk
We'll have to go to war and fight and die
And mrs. ward she wiped a tear from her eye
Don't put your boys in the army mrs. ward
You know they'll only waste away, oh oh
Don't put your boys in the army mrs. ward
You know they'll only waste away, oh oh
Don't put your boys in the army mrs. ward
You know they'll only waste away, oh oh
Don't put your boys in the army mrs. ward
You know they'll only waste away, oh oh
Don't put your boys in the army mrs. ward
You know they'll only waste away, oh oh
song performed by by Electric Light Orchestra
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Grafted Into the Army
Our Jimmy has gone for to live in a tent,
they have grafted him into the Army,
he finally puckered up courage and went,
when they grafted him into the Army.
I told them the child was too young, alas!
At the captains forequarters, they said he would pass,
they'd train him up well in the Infantry class,
so they grafted him into the Army.
Oh, Jimmy, farewell! Your brothers fell way down in Alabammy;
I though they would spare a lone widder's heir,
but they grafted him into the Army.
Dressed up in his unicorn, dear little chap,
they have grafted him into the Army;
it seems but a day since he sot in my lap,
but they grafted him into the Army.
And these are the trousies he used to wear,
them very same buttons, the patch and the tear;
but Uncle Sam gave him a bran' new pair
when they grafted him into the Army.
Now in my provisions I see him revealed,
they have grafted him into the Army;
a picket beside the contented field,
they have grafted him into the Army.
He looks kinder sickish -- begins to cry,
a big volunteer standing right in his eye!
Oh, what if the ducky should up and die,
now they've grafted him into the Army.
poem by Henry Clay Work
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Death of an Airman
‘Abis, Ackerman, Benson and Blunt,
Stand to attention and look to the front,
Chiswell and Barnett
Who told you to fall out,
You’d think this was bush week
Or a Boy Scout Camp call-out;
Get back into line or I might have you all out
Tonight…
Did you hear what I said to you, Argent? ’
‘But there’s a man dying on the tarmac, Sergeant! ’
‘I never liked Wednesdays, ’ declaimed Sergeant Black,
‘Too soon to go forward, too late to go back!
Dexter and Dooley
I’ll have your attention,
I’m not calling names
For an honourable mention,
I’ll charge the whole bunch for a spark of presumption
Tomorrow…
I’ll tell you once more, Mister Argent…’
‘But there’s a man, dying on the tarmac, Sergeant! ’
‘Haven’t you seen a man faint before?
Harris and Jenkins
Block up that four!
Fill up the gap that your mate has relinquished
We’ll count him as present, but almost extinguished, ’
The Sergeant guffawed, in attempts to distinguish
Himself…
Now what in creation d’ya want with me, Argent? ’
‘A man has just died on the tarmac, Sergeant! ’
24 October 1972
poem by David Lewis Paget
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Mister Moon And Mister Sun
Time goes so fast today. Don't blink she'll go away. Don't
close your eyes. Not for one moment. You feel so good right
now. You have to stay somehow. Don't let it slip. Let time
stay frozen.
She needs you. You need her. Just like the sun. Don't think
that it's over. It's just begun.
Oh Mister Moon and Mister Sun. Our song has only just
begun. Oh Mister Sun and Mister Moon. Don't let these
minutes go too soon.
If wishes were for free. My only hope would be. To stop the
clock. Let's keep this moment. I guess that's just a dream.
As hollow as your own moon beam. So let us revel in our
time.
She needs you. You need her. Just like the sun. It never is
over. Once it's begun.
Oh Mister Moon and Mister Sun. Our life has only just
begun. Oh Mister Sun and Mister Moon. Don't let this
moment go too soon.
Oh Mister Moon and Mister Sun. Our life has only just
begun. Oh Mister Sun and Mister Moon. Don't let this
moment go too soon. Oh Mister Moon and Mister Sun. Our
song has only just begun. Oh Mister Sun and Mister Moon.
Don't let these minutes go too soon
song performed by by Human League
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Right in Front of the Army
"Where 'ave you been this week or more,
'Aven't seen you about the war'?
Thought perhaps you was at the rear
Guarding the waggons." "What, us? No fear!
Where have we been? Why, bless my heart,
Where have we been since the bloomin' start?
Right in the front of the army,
Battling day and night!
Right in the front of the army
Teaching 'em how to fight!"
Every separate man you see,
Sapper, gunner, and C.I.V.,
Every one of 'em seems to be
Right in front of the army!
Most of the troops to the camp had gone,
When we met with a cow-gun toiling on;
And we said to the boys, as they walked her past,
"Well, thank goodness, you're here at last!"
"Here at last! Why, what d'yer mean?
Ain't we just where we've always been?
Right in the front of the army,
Battling day and night!
Right in the front of the army,
Teaching'em bow to fight!"
Correspondents and Vets in force,
Mounted foot and dismounted horse,
All of them were, as a matter of course,
Right in the front of the army.
Old Lord Roberts will have to mind
If ever the enemy get behind;
For they'll smash him up with a rear attack,
Because his army has got no back!
Think of the horrors that might befall
An army without any rear at all!
Right in the front of the army,
Battling day and night!
Right in the front of the army,
Teaching 'em how to fight!
Swede attaches and German counts,
Yeomen (known as De Wet's Remounts),
All of them were, by their own accounts,
Right in the front of the army!
poem by Andrew Barton Paterson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Army Dreamers
B.f.p.o.*
Army dreamers.
Mammys hero.
B.f.p.o.
Mammys hero.
Our little army boy
Is coming home from b.f.p.o.
Ive a bunch of purple flowers
To decorate a mammys hero.
Mourning in the aerodrome,
The weather warmer, he is colder.
Four men in uniform
To carry home my little soldier.
What could he do?
Should have been a rock star.
But he didnt have the money for a guitar.
What could he do?
Should have been a politician.
But he never had a proper education.
What could he do?
Should have been a father.
But he never even made it to his twenties.
What a waste --
Army dreamers.
Ooh, what a waste of
Army dreamers.
Tears oer a tin box.
Oh, jesus christ, he wasnt to know,
Like a chicken with a fox,
He couldnt win the war with ego.
Give the kid the pick of pips,
And give him all your stripes and ribbons.
Now hes sitting in his hole,
He might as well have buttons and bows.
What could he do?
Should have been a rock star.
But he didnt have the money for a guitar.
What could he do?
Should have been a politician.
But he never had a proper education.
What could he do?
Should have been a father.
But he never even made it to his twenties.
What a waste --
Army dreamers.
Ooh, what a waste of
Army dreamers.
Ooh, what a waste of all that
Army dreamers,
Army dreamers,
Army dreamers, oh...
(b.f.p.o.)
Did-n-did-n-did-n-dum...
Army dreamers.
Did-n-did-n-did-n-dum...
(mammys hero.)
(b.f.p.o.)
Army dreamers.
(mammys hero.)
(b.f.p.o.)
No harm heroes.
(mammys hero.)
(b.f.p.o.)
Army dreamers.
(mammys hero.)
(b.f.p.o.)
No harm heroes.
song performed by by Kate Bush
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Army, O, My Army!
My Army, O, my army! The time I dreamed of comes!
I want to see your colours; I want to hear your drums!
I heard them in my boyhood when all men’s hearts seemed cold;
I heard them as a Young Man—and I am growing old!
My army, O, my army! The signs are manifold!
My army, O, my army! My army and my Queen!
I used to sing your battle-songs when I was seventeen!
They came to me from ages, they came from far and near;
They came to me from Paris, they came to me from Here!—
They came when I was marching with the Army of the Rear.
My Queen’s dark eyes were flashing (oh, she was younger then!);
My Queen’s Red Cap was redder than the reddest blood of men!
My Queen marched like an Amazon, with anger manifest—
Her dark hair darkly matted from a knifegash in her breast
(For blood will flow where milk will not—her sisters knew the rest).
My legions ne’er were listed, they had no need to be;
My army ne’er was trained in arms—’twas trained in misery!
It took long years to mould it, but war could never drown
The shuffling of my army’s feet in the hunger-haunted town—
A little child was murdered, and so Tyranny went down.
My army kept no order, my army kept no time;
My army dug no trenches, yet died in dust and slime;
Its troops were fiercely ignorant, as to the manner born;
Its clothes were rags and tatters, or patches worn and torn—
Ah, me! It wore a uniform that I have often worn!
The faces of my army were ghastly as the dead;
My army’s cause was Hunger, my army’s cry was “Bread!”
It called on God and Mary and Christ of Nazareth;
It cried to kings and courtesans that fainted at its breath—
Its women beat their poor, flat breasts where babes had starved to death.
My army! My army—I hear the sound of drums
Above the roar of battles—and, lo! my army comes!
Nor creed of man may stay it—nor war, nor nation’s law—
The pikes go through the firing-lines as pitchforks go through straw—
Like pitchforks through the litter, while empires stand in awe.
poem by Henry Lawson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Mister Moon & Mister Sun
Time goes so fast today. dont blink shell go away. dont
Close your eyes. not for one moment. you feel so good right
Now. you have to stay somehow. dont let it slip. let time
Stay frozen.
She needs you. you need her. just like the sun. dont think
That its over. its just begun.
Oh mister moon and mister sun. our song has only just
Begun. oh mister sun and mister moon. dont let these
Minutes go too soon.
If wishes were for free. my only hope would be. to stop the
Clock. lets keep this moment. I guess thats just a dream.
As hollow as your own moon beam. so let us revel in our
Time.
She needs you. you need her. just like the sun. it never is
Over. once its begun.
Oh mister moon and mister sun. our life has only just
Begun. oh mister sun and mister moon. dont let this
Moment go too soon.
Oh mister moon and mister sun. our life has only just
Begun. oh mister sun and mister moon. dont let this
Moment go too soon. oh mister moon and mister sun. our
Song has only just begun. oh mister sun and mister moon.
Dont let these minutes go too soon.
song performed by by Human League
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mr. Banker
(ronnie vanzant -- gary rossington)
Mister banker
Mister please, how much does money mean
Won't you reconsider mister
Won't you do this thing for me
Ain't got no house
Ain't got no car
All i got, lord, is my guitar
But you can have that mister banker
Won't you bury my papa for me
Oh mister banker please
Listen to how that sound
I would not be here on my knees
But hey mister banker
It means so much to me
Oh won't you reconsider mister
Won't you do this thing for me
I told you mister
I ain't got no house
Ain't got no car
I got me a 1950 les paul guitar
Won't you take it mister banker
Won't you bury my papa for me
Oh mister banker please
song performed by by Lynyrd Skynyrd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Parantha’s Dream
He marched up and down
with his string tied tin.
Keeping in time with the
beat and marching.
The twelve year old boy
Parantha Parapanjani
yearned to be a drummer
in the Royal Indian Army.
Using two wooden sticks
and a biscuit tin so old,
he imitated the drummers
and their drum rolls.
He marched up and down
with his string tied tin.
Keeping in time with the
beat and marching.
A thief stole his drum
leaving him with nothing to play,
but his father’s old tin leg,
stepped in to save the day.
From a string around his neck,
it swung about his waist,
as he practiced with the band
outside the military gates.
He marched up and down
with his string tied tin.
Keeping in time with the
beat and marching.
One day a limping man and boy
walked down the busy street,
as Parantha drummed up
a leg moving kind of beat.
The regimental sergeant major
recognised the sound,
and saw the leg being played,
as it made its way to town.
So impressed was the sergeant
he enlisted the boy in the band.
A new side-drum he was given
and a stick for each hand.
He marched up and down
with his Indian army band,
so proud to be a drummer,
with a stick in each hand.
poem by Orlando Belo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Army Of Me
Stand up
You've got to manage
I won't sympathize
Anymore
And if you complain once more
You'll meet an army of me
You're allright
There's nothing wrong
Self-sufficience please!
And get to work
And if you complain once more
You'll meet an army of me
You're on your own now
We won't save you
Your rescue-squad
Is too exhausted
And if you complain once more
You'll meet an army of me
song performed by by Bjork from Post
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The sergeant is the Army.
quote by Dwight D. Eisenhower
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ditty Wah Ditty
(arthur blake)
Theres a great big mistery
And it sure is worrying me
Its a ditty wah ditty
Mister ditty wah ditty
I wished somebody would tell me what ditty wah ditty means
I went out and walked around
Somebody yelled, now whos in town ?
Mister ditty wah ditty
Mister ditty wah ditty
I wished somebody would tell me what ditty wah ditty means
Some little girl bout four-feet-four
Said, come on, papa, and gimme some mo
Your ditty wah ditty
Your ditty wah ditty
I wished somebody would tell me what ditty wah ditty means
I went to church, put my hat on the seat
A lady sat on it and said, daddy you sho is sweet
Mister ditty wah ditty
Mister ditty wah ditty
I wished somebody would tell me what ditty wah ditty means
I said, sister, Ill soon be gone
Just give me that thing that youre sitting on
My ditty wah ditty
Mister ditty wah ditty
I wished somebody would tell me what ditty wah ditty means
Then I got put outta the church
cause I talked about ditty wah ditty too much
Mister ditty wah ditty
Mister ditty wah ditty
I wished somebody would tell me what ditty wah ditty means
song performed by by Ry Cooder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Music Man (The)
hey there mister music man
play your music like you did
last night when i saw you live
on fifth and amsterdam
hey there mister music man
spread your music 'cross the land
i'd follow you from here to there
just like you asked when i was there
but sadly i cant follow through
for my bestfriend is terminal
they say its name is Cancer
hey there mister music man
play your music spread your love,
like you did on 5th and amsterdam
would you come play for my friend
mister music man
play your music play every song you know
play them as you would for all
play them once for a thousand times
we'll put it on live tv
so the whole world can see
hey there mister music man
play your music
spread your love across the land
from here to there
make his last days worthy
as he falls into his dark sleep
hey there mister music man
play your music play your love
spread it far across the land
like the laughter of a baby
in a quiet room
like the laughter of a baby
in a quiet room
like the laughter of a baby
in a quiet room.
poem by David Thomas
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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No More Mister Nice Guy
I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing
Until they got a hold of me
I opened doors for little old ladies
I helped the blind to see
I got no friends cause they read the papers
They cant be seen with me and Im getting shot down
And Im feeling mean
No more mister nice guy
No more mister clean
No more mister nice guy
They say hes sick , hes obscene
I got no friends cause they read the papers
They cant be seen with me and Im getting shot down
And Im feeling mean
My dog bit me on leg today
My cat clawled my eye
My moms been thrown out of society circle
My dads had to hide
I went to church incognito
When everybody rose, the reserved smith
He recognized me
Punched me in the nose
song performed by by Alice Cooper
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mr. Me
Once a boy named mister me bemoaned a great regret
I've floundered in the misty sea, but can't abide its mystery
I wound up sad, you bet
So onward go and edward ho into the bounding main
Enjoy the show look out below but mind the misty sea
Or end up sad like mister me
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
So take the hand of mister me and mister, make him glad
To swim the mister misty sea and cease the mister mystery
That mister, made him sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Parkers Band
Savoy sides presents a new saxophone sensation
Its parkers band with a smooth style of syncopation
Kansas city born and growing
You wont believe what the boys are blowing
You got to come on man
And take a piece of mister parkers band
Youll be riding by, bareback on your armadillo
Youll be grooving high or relaxing at camarillo
Suddenly the music hits you
Its a bird in flight that just cant quit you
You got to come on man
And take a piece of mister parkers band
We will spend a dizzy weekend smacked into a trance
Me and you will listen to
A little bit of what made the preacher dance
Bring your horn along and you can add to the pure confection
And if you cant fly youll have to move in with the rhythm section
Either way youre bound to function
Fifty-second streets the junction
You got to come on man
And take a piece of mister parkers
Clap your hands and take a piece of mister parkers
Come on man and take a piece of mister parkers band
song performed by by Steely Dan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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