Related quotes: A mans’ gotta have a...

The Shed

A mans’ gotta have a shed y’know
A place he calls his own
Where he can go and loose himself
Like a king upon his throne

It can be neat and tidy
With everything in place
Or one un –wholly bloody mess
Where there isn’t any space

But you can rest assured old friend
No matter how it fares
It’s his domain and castle
Down to the worn out chairs

He proudly shows it to his mates
Who goo and gar and ask
What’s this and that you got in here
Including in the flask

There’s pictures stuck up on the wall
The likes that women scorn
But it wouldn’t be the same you see
Without his female porn

And if someone dare to take control
Woe betide the feathers fly
Until he once again can say
Don’t come in here and pry

When it’s why on this one fateful day
A hapless brown came in
And all that happened after that
Boy, you should have heard the din

Jo blake slipped here and he slipped there
To keep out of old mates way
But old mate was having none of that
As he entered in the fray

Things they went here and they went there
As the chase in-ten-si-fied
With old mate going hell for leather
To get that snake outside

Almost a full one hour had gone
And neither would give in
The snake kept just enough in front
To save it’s slippery skin

Until it spied a big wide space
That was in fact the door
And slipped out quick as anything
Away from that bloody floor

When old mate stopped and looked around
When the battle was complete
He couldn’t believe the mess there was
He was out to it on his feet

But satisfaction slowly grew
Sweat began to dis-si-pate
As he softly whispered to himself
I’ll not share with any snake

So, take heed all those who enter there
And know it’s in his head
He’ll do whatever it does take
To defend his bloody shed

Don Stratford © 18 / 2 / 2005

poem by Don Stratford
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes

Badges, Posters, Stickers, T-shirts

Me and my mate we think youre great
Some we like and some we hate
I know him Ive seen him on the adverts
Got any badges posters stickers or t-shirts
You were bloody great last time you come
I thought me ead was stuck in the bass drum
Bloody loud, me bloody head hurts
Got any badges posters stickers and t-shirts
So howd you get a start in show biz
My mates as good on the drums as he is
My mate thinks Im bloody cracked
Please sign my jacket on the back
All them badges made of plastic
I think theyre great, just fantastic
Im unemployed, hes still at school
He gets annoyed cause Im such a fool
You dont half sweat a lot up there
Have you got showers in here?
Youre bloody great, my bloody head hurts
Got any badges posters stickers and t-shirts
Yeah, me and my mate like ac-dc
Hot & sweaty, loud & greasy
My mom says were a pair of perverts
Got any badges posters stickers and t-shirts
Cmon mister
We hitch-hiked here in pouring rain
Now weve missed the frigging train.
Hey! can I have one of them lagers?
Thanks very much, mate. can e have one?
A-one, a-two, a-one two three four...

song performed by by Dire Straits
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Crawling King Snake

Well, Im the crawlin king snake, and I rule my den
Im the crawlin king snake, and I rule my den
Yeah, dont mess round with my mate
Gonna use her for myself
Caught me crawlin, bay, window, grass is very high
Keep on crawlin till the day I die
Crawlin king snake, and I rule my den
You better give me what I want
Gonna crawl no more
Caught me crawlin, baby, crawlin round your door
Seein everything I want
Im gonna crawl on your floor
Lets crawl
And I rule my den
Cmon, give me what I want
Aint gonna crawl no more
Alright, crawl a while
Cmon crawl
Cmon crawl
Get on out there on your hands and knees, baby
Crawl all over me
Just like the spider on the wall
Ooo, we gonn crawl, one more
Well, Im the crawlin king snake
And I rule my den
Call me the crawlin king snake
And I rule my den
Yeah, dont mess round with my mate
Gonna use her for myself

song performed by by Doors
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bloody Luxury

(coverdale)
Now when I first met you
I was rolling along,
Just a bar room crooner
Singing heartbreak songs,
An I supposed I could never get next to you
But, you seemed quite happy with my company
You kept my body heat steady at 103,
With your mouth full of gimme
An your body full of much obliged
Its bloody luxury
What you mean to me,
Bloody luxury
What you do to me
Its bloody luxury
What you mean to me,
cos no matter what you do to me
Its bloody luxury
Bloody luxury...
Youre a five star woman,
An you know what to give
To fill a part time loser
Full of reasons to live,
But, theres no doubt about it
Im taking a chance on you
Becos you get my heart beating heavy,
Make my knees go weak
You get me so damn nervous
I can hardly speak,
But, nothings gonna stop me
Hanging on my good luck charm
Its bloody luxury
What you mean to me,
Bloody luxury
What you do to me
Its bloody luxury
What you mean to me,
cos no matter what you do to me
Its bloody luxury
Bloody luxury...
Its bloody luxury
What you mean to me,
Bloody luxury
Honey what you do to me
Its bloody luxury
What you mean to me,
cos no matter what you do to me
Its bloody luxury
Bloody luxury
What you mean to me,
Bloody luxury
Honey what you do to me
Its bloody luxury
What you mean to me,
cos no matter what you do to me,
No matter what you do to me,
No matter what you do to me,
Its bloody luxury
Bloody luxury
Bloody luxury...

song performed by by Whitesnake
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Boy And The Snake

Henry was every morning fed
With a full mess of milk and bread.
One day the boy his breakfast took,
And eat it by a purling brook
Which through his mother's orchard ran.
From that time ever when he can
Escape his mother's eye, he there
Takes his food in th'open air.
Finding the child delight to eat
Abroad, and make the grass his seat,
His mother lets him have his way.
With free leave Henry every day
Thither repairs, until she heard
Him talking of a fine grey bird.
This pretty bird, he said, indeed,
Came every day with him to feed,
And it loved him, and loved his milk,
And it was smooth and soft like silk.
His mother thought she'd go and see
What sort of bird this same might be.
So the next morn she follows Harry,
And carefully she sees him carry
Through the long grass his heaped-up mess.
What was her terror and distress,
When she saw the infant take
His bread and milk close to a snake!
Upon the grass he spreads his feast,
And sits down by his frightful guest,
Who had waited for the treat;
And now they both begin to eat.
Fond mother! shriek not, O beware
The least small noise, O have a care-
The least small noise that may be made,
The wily snake will be afraid-
If he hear the lightest sound,
He will inflict th'envenomed wound.
She speaks not, moves not, scarce does breathe,
As she stands the trees beneath;
No sound she utters; and she soon
Sees the child lift up its spoon,
And tap the snake upon the head,
Fearless of harm; and then he said,
As speaking to familiar mate,
'Keep on your own side, do, Grey Pate:'
The snake then to the other side,
As one rebukëd, seems to glide;
And now again advancing nigh,
Again she hears the infant cry,
Tapping the snake, 'Keep further, do;
Mind, Grey Pate, what I say to you.'
The danger's o'er-she sees the boy
(O what a change from fear to joy!)
Rise and bid the snake 'good-bye;'
Says he, 'Our breakfast's done, and I
Will come again to-morrow day:'
Then, lightly tripping, ran away.

poem by Charles Lamb
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Another Cheap Rhyme

I met her on a rail replacement bus
a funny way to start
She said something funny
I said something smart

The seats weren't very comfy
infact they were rather hard
but she smiled at me warmly
and gave me her business card

And so I met her once more
this time on the train
she wasn't like the others
boring, busy and plain

We both got off at Croydon
I asked which way she'd go
She said 'my place, you wanna? '
How could I say no?

And then we hailed a taxi
the journey wasn't long
she slipped her hand into mine
my heart went into song

We pulled up outside her place
'£10 please mate' I paid
the cabby drove off, cheers mate
tonight I'm getting laid

And up to her appartment
upon the second floor
she giggled as we undid
the lock on her front door

It all happened so quickly
yet I'd gladly stay for more
I lay inside her, grinning
we tumbled on the floor

An hour later I got dressed
she brought coffee in a mug
I sat there slurping slowly
feet perched upon the rug

Suddenly there was knocking
she undid the top bolt
a man stood there angry
she cried 'it wasn't my fault! '

He then came in and sternly
asked that I should leave
his brow was boiling furiously
fists shaking from their sleeves

'my daughter's not for picking,
no fallen apple here
now leave before I get angry
do I make myself quite clear? '

He quaked, if only I had known earlier
I'd have left her clean
for the girl I'd had, I later learnt
was only seventeen

So off I went, sad and sullen
out the flat and into the street
I couldn't see a taxi about
so I proceeded on my feet

And back to the station I lumbered
with a sigh running through my head
the train to Redhill wasn't running
so I got on the bus instead

So there I was back on the rail replacement
but from her now forever apart
now I need somebody to replace
the rails in my heart

poem by R.S. Evans
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Bloody Mess

shes left in the middle of the room,
beaten and broken,
she crys out in the night,
no one around,
to say its alright,
shes bleeding from unknown places,
she passes out in the bloody mess,
her husband gone,
never to return,
she lays there slowly bleeding out,
the baby inside her,
no longer alive,
her husband killed her and left a bloody mess,
with tears and blood stained to her face,
she gave her life,
for her husbands bloody mess

poem by Alicia Roseberry
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Snake; an oracle of oath

The godless men worship the snake
The godless men take oath in name of snake
And the curse comes upon wrongdoer
The godless men take oath in the name of snake
And blessing rains upon the innocent
The godless men take oath in the name of snake
And snake bitten dead the lair
And snake spare life of the truer
Despite snake answers to godless men
No votive or thank given to snake, the god
So the stopped the men to swear
By it name, snake said men used
Thunder and fire for swearing instead of it name
As snake disowned the godless men
Hex fallen upon

poem by David Aoloch Bion
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Mate can do no Wrong

We learnt the creed at Hungerford,
We learnt the creed at Bourke;
We learnt it in the good times
And learnt it out of work.
We learnt it by the harbour-side
And on the billabong:
'No matter what a mate may do,
A mate can do no wrong!'
He’s like a king in this respect
(No matter what they do),
And, king-like, shares in storm and shine
The Throne of Life with you.
We learnt it when we were in gaol
And put it in a song:
' No matter what a mate may do,
A mate can do no wrong!'
They’ll say he said a bitter word
When he’s away or dead.
We’re loyal to his memory,
No matter what he said.
And we should never hesitate,
But strike out good and strong,
And jolt the slanderer on the jaw –
A mate can do no wrong !

poem by Henry Lawson
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Kissing the Fang

Snake biting once biting dead
Snake biting twice biting life
Walking in the sorghum stalk
The oldest foe- the snake heard my feet
The snake raised the neck and hissed
As our eyes met at equilibrium
I stopped and drew my spear
The hateful send boiled to the brim
The brawl commenced I speared it back fatefully
The snake bitten my right feet fatefully
The biting bit me dead I fell down breathing not
The snake bitten my left feet again.
The biting bit me life I raised up breathing lively
The snake snaked away
The venom paralyzed me but
I giddily crawled after the snake
I gasped and kissed the snake fang
I spate the healing saliva in the snake wound
We departed in peace-indeed peace in death

poem by David Aoloch Bion
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Gutted

Now where did I put it
it must be here somewhere
could it be down the sofa
or the back of that big chair?
Maybe it slipped out of my jeans
when I was tending the flowerbed
I know I'll look around the garden
but did I leave it in the shed?
I've looked all over the place
searched every cupboard and drawer
I hope the dog hasn't chewed it up
he'll eat anything that's left on the floor.
EUREKA! I've found my Euro millions ticket
And I'm so happy and glad that I did
because I've got all of the winning numbers
I've won twenty million quid!
So why then aren't I really happy
and jumping about in a wild and crazy state?
well I did have all the correct numbers
but alas, it was for the wrong bloody date!

poem by Kevin Halls
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Mr. Churchill Says

Well mr. churchill says, mr. churchill says
We gotta fight the bloody battle to the very end
Mr. beaverbrook says we gotta save our tin
And all the garden gates
And empty cans are gonna make us win
We shall defend our island
On the land and on the sea
We shall fight them on the beaches
On the hills and in the fields
We shall fight them in the streets
Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed to so few
'cos they have made our british empire
A better place for me and you
And this was their finest hour
Well mr. montgomery says
And mr. mountbatten says
We gotta fight the bloody battle to the very end
As vera lynn would say
We'll meet again someday
But all the sacrifices we must make before the end
Did you hear that plane flying overhead
There's a house an fire and there's someone lying dead
We gotta clean up the streets
And get me back on my feet
Because we wanna be free
Do your worst and we'll do our best
We're gonna win the way that mr. churchill says
Oh! oh! oh! oh! oh! oh! well mr. churchill says
We gotta hold up our chins
We gotta show some courage and some discipline
We gotta black up the windows and nail up the doors
And keep right on till the end of the war

song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Well, it was sunday, bloody sunday when the shot the people there.
The cries of thirteen martyrs filled the free derry air.
Is there anyone amongst you dare to blame it on the kids?
Not a soldier boy was bleeding when they nailed the coffin lids!
Sunday, bloody sunday, bloody sundays the day.
Well, you claim to be majority, well, you know that its a lie.
Youre really a minority on this sweet emerald isle.
When stormont bans our marches, theyve got a lot to learn,
Internment is no answer, its those mothers turn to burn.
Sunday, bloody sunday, bloody sundays the day.
Hey! yeah!
Yeah!
Sunday, bloody sunday, bloody sundays the day.
All you anglo pigs and scotties sent to colonise the north,
You wave your bloody union jacks and you know what its worth.
How dare you hold to ransom a people proud and free?
Keep ireland to the irish, put the english back to sea!
Sunday, bloody sunday, bloody sundays the day.
Hey, hey, hey!
Alright!
Ooh -
Yeah!
Sunday, bloody sunday, bloody sundays the day.
Well, its always bloody sunday in the concentration camps.
Keep falls road free forever from the bloody british hands.
Repatriate to britain all of you who call it home,
Leave ireland to the irish not for london or for rome.
Sunday, bloody sunday, bloody sundays the day.
Sunday, bloody sunday, bloody sundays the day.
Sunday, bloody sunday, bloody sundays the day.
Sunday, bloody sunday, bloody sundays the day.
Sunday, bloody sunday, bloody sundays the day.
Sunday, bloody sunday, bloody sundays the day.
Sunday, bloody sunday, bloody sundays the day.
Sunday, bloody sunday, bloody sundays the day.
Sunday, bloody sunday.

song performed by by Yoko Ono
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sunday, Bloody Sunday

song performed by by Yoko Ono
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Scarry moment..

The serpent was in front of me,
But a real king Cobra, so slim,
Sparkling with bluish tint,
Scales glittered with no attempts,
The eyes, piecing as the arrows,
Lifted the head for a foot, narrow,
Tail holds the ground in anger,
Shaking tongue protruded in despair,
The orange mouth opened wider,
The hissing whistle sounds higher,
My trembling hand took the hand phone,
Called the City Hall for assistance,
They told me to ‘snake sit' for a while,
If run away, inform them at once,
I looked at the snake,
The snake looked at me,
My tied dogs looked at us,
They were angry with me,
For I prevented them,
From doing their duty,
I told the snake,
"If I let you go, you will be caught,
Someone may finish you,
Go with our officers,
They will leave you in the jungle,
And you can live happily"
As if it heard what I said,
The snake put down the head,
My dogs and the serpent were quiet,
That moment was so unique,
I stood just ten feet away,
when it was taken away.

poem by Veeraiyah Subbulakshmi
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Bloody Angel

the bloody angel
finds no comfort on this earth
she looks down at her hideous body
too confirm she has no worth
the bloody angel
lies face down in the snow
shivering uncontrollably
she's found herself alone
the bloody angel
looks up to the sky
she screams aloud asking
why god won't let her die
the bloody angel
slowly crawls across the ground
her broken wings are aching
her mumbling the only sound
the bloody angel
lifts her head to see your face
why is it that you laugh at her
and turn to walk the other way
the bloody angel
hoarsely calls out your name
she used to be your only love
but now you're not the same
the bloody angel
lays down her fragile head
the snow turns no warmer
as it becomes her death bed

poem by Black Rose
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In A Small Moment

(carly simon)
In a small moment
She accepted credit for something she did not do
She said shed done the water color in her bedroom
But it was done by a friend from school
Just a little lie
No one would discover
At least not very soon
In a small moment
Just a little lie
When she wasnt looking it just slipped on by
In a small moment
In a restaurant where she worked the late night shift
She short changed a sailor and made five
You could never really call it a theft
Just a little lie
Swept up in her apron and kept as a well deserved gift
In a small moment
Just a little lie
When she wasnt looking it just slipped on by
In a small moment
She cheated on her lover and placed it in the back of her mind
As long as nobody knew the truth about her
It could never really be unkind
Just a little lie
That slipped beside her as she tossed and turned in her alibis
In a small moment
Just a little lie
When she wasnt looking it just slipped on by
Just a little lie
When she wasnt looking it jsut slipped on by
Slipped on by

song performed by by Carly Simon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Irritating Sky

The sky is always changing –
Can't it settle down?
Shades of blue, then reddy hue,
Puffs of grey and white;
And then it's bloody night!
At least I see a smattering
Of twinkly little things,
A silver globe occasionally
Which admittedly it brings
A sort of pleasant feeling,
Warming to the soul,
But overall it's so annoying –
Irritatingly droll!

Sky sky bloody sky, bloody sky sky
Sky sky bloody sky, sky bloody sky
Sky bloody sky bloody sky sky sky
Sky bloody sky bloody sky sky sky

poem by Mark R Slaughter
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Sonnet-Who Am I?

I am a linear, legless, Vertebrate;
Bellying the earth, ever since my birth;
Of varying sizes, colours, shapes; I mate,
And swallow whole, life many times my girth.

I writhe and snake my way up fast;
I am the 'Sentinel of Land and sea';
Most people look at me awe-struck, aghast;
I hiss and scurry forth frightened, may be.

My fangs are poison-filled and also not;
I scour the earth, listening to vibrations;
Most people hit my head with sticks when caught,
I'm King of Night's earth-holes of all nations.

But I'm a Snake! Oh, just a rubber-Snake!
For Heaven's sake, the beating all I take.

poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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In-convenience

Very early in the morning we were woken from our sleep,
We were going on safari, being driven in a jeep,
We went out before our breakfast, we went out before sunrise,
We went out before the sleep had fully vanished from our eyes.
We had to dress quite quickly, and we went out in a rush,
And after we'd been driving through miles and miles of bush
For an hour or two (I have to say forgive the way I speak) ,
But - the roads were very bumpy - I was dying for a leak.
The driver stopped the jeep and kindly offered us a drink,
But it might have been more kind if he had only paused to think;
We had seen a herd of elephants, some vultures in the sky,
Several wildebeest and zebra, a hyena passing by,
Giraffes, a pair of ostriches, a buffalo or two,
And we'd taken lots of photographs (well, that's what tourists do) :
We had even seen some lions lazing underneath a tree,
But... we hadn't seen a toilet... and I really had to pee.
Beside a water-hole at last we found a pair of loos,
And I hurried to the gents', 'cause that's the one I have to use.
Yes, I went up to the gentlemen's, and pushed the door ajar,
But I didn't push it hard, and it didn't open far.
There was something in the way, you see. I did a double-take,
For it looked just like a tail, the last six inches of a snake.
I decided not to panic - I'm not that sort of bloke,
And it could have been a rubber one, left there for a joke -
So I pushed the door wide open, to be sure of no mistake,
And what should I clap eyes on but two yards of living snake!
... I closed the door, quite firmly, and went to tell the guide,
'I was going to the loo, but then I found a snake inside.'
He didn't quite believe me, but he went across to check.
- Not just a snake, a cobra! - 'Gosh, ' I thought, and 'Flipping Heck.'
For the snake looked very supple, and the snake looked very strong,
And if it would uncurl itself, the snake looked very long,
And a cobra's bite is savage, and a cobra's bite is quick,
And if that snake had bitten me, I'd be feeling rather sick.
'It might even be a spitter, judging by the size,
'So don't you go too close, and please be careful of your eyes.'
But I had to take a photograph, for that's what tourists do,
And, warily, I took a snap of the cobra in the loo.
The driver wrote a notice 'Danger, Big Big Snake Inside',
And the lady with the first-aid box took out of it with pride
A strip of sticking plaster to stick it to the door,
To tell anyone who came, there was a cobra on the floor.
By now the snake was moving, it was climbing up the wall;
It hid behind the cistern, and could not be seen at all;
It came down again, and wrapped itself around the waste-pipe neatly,
Then slithered right into the pan and disappeared completely.
Now I was on a mission to tell others what I'd seen,
But I was very conscious of the fact I'd Still Not Been!
So in that situation, though most times I wouldn't dare,
When I found the ladies' empty, I quickly popped in there.

So if you see a man who's coming from the ladies' loos,
Please don't jump to conclusions, he might have a good excuse,
- 'I went to spend a penny, for my need was quite intense,
'And I had to use the ladies' - there's a cobra in the gents'! '

poem by Paul Hansford
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Cause of Enmity between Snake and Man

Snake, the first owner of fire.
Dog, the robber of fire.
Man the last owner of fire.
The snake gave birth first to fire.
Thus fire, the first born of snake.
Thus snake, only owner of fire long ago.
One cold evening
The man dying of coldness
The dog seen it master dying of coldness
It went to snake house and begged
The snake, the mother of fire to let
It tail get warm of fire
The snake cordially welcomed the dog
The dog twisted it tail on fire
The tail caught the fire
The dog jumped over the snake in door
Ran quickly to it master, the man
The man took the grass and wood
And lit up the fire
The fire lit up in man’s house
And it extinguished in snake’s house
The snake come to get fire back
But the man attack the snake
The hostility between man and snake
Began then

poem by David Aoloch Bion
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En.Citatepedia®.ro

The Shed

Related quotes

Badges, Posters, Stickers, T-shirts

Crawling King Snake

Bloody Luxury

The Boy And The Snake

Another Cheap Rhyme

Bloody Mess

Snake; an oracle of oath

A Mate can do no Wrong

Kissing the Fang

Gutted

Mr. Churchill Says

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Scarry moment..

Bloody Angel

In A Small Moment

Irritating Sky

Sonnet-Who Am I?

In-convenience

The Cause of Enmity between Snake and Man

En.Citatepedia^®.ro