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O What Shall We Do With These Drunken Men?

1
Oh what shall we do
what shall we do
with these drunken men -
like my very own darling
Mike Hammer?

Last night
I picked him up
from outside the pub
where he'd been drinking
with his mates
And in the car
almost near our home
he says: I love you
And I say to him:
Is that you talking
or the beer?
And he says
like lightning:
It's me talking.
I'm talking to my beer.

2

Oh what shall we do
what shall we do
with these drunken men -
like my very own darling
Mike Hammer?
I locked him in the car
doused him with effluent water
let him sleep there
till he turns sober
But it's 11am now and hot
and sober or not,
he's still asleep
in the car
and when I try and wake him up
he's still mumbling about love and beer

Oh what shall we do
what shall we do
with these drunken men -
like my very own darling
Mike Hammer?
Maybe I should dunk him over a hill
car and all
till he turns mature, till he's sober

poem by Raj Arumugam
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Love

Darling what love are you talking? ,
When you saw me dead with a knife
Stabbed on my stomach yesterday
You shouted out of fear of your life
murder, murder danger thief fire!
You did not say oh my darling leaving
Me alive how can you be dead?

Darling what love are you talking?
I had broken two teeth making peace
With you, out of love of me can you
Break two teeth of you?

Darling what love are you talking?
Out of love of me can you go away
For a while to give relief to me?
For a moment can you hand over me
For my pleasure to that lady? Or
Will you allow me to chat with
Those of hungry women sitting
Thousands miles away on barren land?

poem by Abdul Wahab
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I do like beer, but lately I've started drinking non-alcoholic beer and I like the taste of it and I don't get the alcohol, so that's a good alternative also.

quote by Mike Ditka
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Imagine this guy hits Mike Hammer over the head with a wooden coathanger and knocks him out. You hit Mike Hammer over the head with a wooden coathanger, he'll beat the crap out of you.

quote by Mickey Spillane
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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What's The Use Of Getting Sober

Dv = deep voice, sv = squeaky voice
Dv: boy, you listen to your old pappy
Sv: yeah, pappy
Dv: and stop drinking so much
Sv: i'm-i'm ain't been doing so much drinking, pappy
Dv: shut up, boy! you drink all day and you drink all night and you know, son, that that ain't right
Sv: oh pappy, you just give me a chance. i, i can, i . . .
Dv: shut up, boy! boy, you're lookin' thin as a twig
Sv: i know that . . .
Dv: look likes your dear old pappy - about to blow your wig
Sv: oh i'm gonna blow my wig, pappy
What's the use of getting sober
When you're gonna get drunk again
Oh sam done something fine
When he bought that good whiskey, beer and wine
I love my whiskey and i love my gin
Every time you see me i'm in my sin
So what's the use of getting sober
When you're gonna get drunk again
Dv:
I went out last night about half past one
Thought i'd whoop it up a little and have some fun
I got me a half pint about half past two
Mmm, mmm, the way i was feeling you know what i wanna do
Got me a pint about half past four
Felt so good, went out and got me some more
Got me a quart about half past five
Boy, that was so nice didn't know if i was dead or alive
So what's the use of getting sober if you're gonna get drunk again
Oh sam done something fine
When he bought that good whiskey, beer and wine
I love my whiskey and i love my gin
Every time you see me i'm in my sin
So what's the use of getting sober
When you're gonna get drunk again
Well i've been thinking
But i keep drinking
I guess i'm 'bout lose my mind

song performed by by Joe Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde

The first time we met you were a kennel maid,
You gave me a tip I got me forecast paid,
You were holding a greyhound in trap number one,
Your white coat was shining in the afternoon sun.
Now we're both together,
We're never gonna break apart, no no,
'Cause we're a happy couple you and me,
With a greyhound at either knee.
I'll have ten shillings to win on Camera Flash, young man,
What dog's that, it's a deuce, look at it.
There was nothing in my life bigger than beer,
There was nothing in my life bigger than beer,
'Ceptin' you, little darling,
'Ceptin' you, little darling,
We're a happy couple you and me,
With a greyhound at either knee.
We go to the dog track on Saturday night,
We put all our money on a dog that we like,
A kiss and a cuddle, a hot meat pie,
Two dollar tickets and a starry sky.
There was nothing in my life bigger than beer,
There was nothing in my life bigger than beer,
'Ceptin' you, little darling,
'Ceptin' you, little darling,
We're a happy couple you and me,
With a baby on either knee.
Yes it's you little darling,
Yes it's you little darling,
Now it's you little darling,
Now it's you.
Girl, where's me wage packet ?????,
Ah I'll put twenty-five knicker please on Gallop Printer,
Oh, I hope the wife don't find out,
Yes, it's sure to win, isn't it,
Yes, I know, it's a good dog, I saw it run at White City,
Just last week, broke the record, Gallop Printer,
Nice dog, yes, lovely form, lovely buttocks.

song performed by by Who
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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What's The Use Of Getting Sober (When You're Gonna Get Drunk Again)

(words and music by Bubsy Meyers)
[DV = dark voice, SV = squeaky voice]
DV: Boy, you listen to your old Pappy
SV: Yeah, Pappy
DV: And stop drinking so much
SV: I'm-I'm ain't been doing so much drinking, Pappy
DV: Shut up, boy! You drink all day
and you drink all night
and you know, son, that that ain't right
SV: Oh Pappy, you just give me a chance. I, I can, I...
DV: Shut up, boy!
Boy, you're lookin' thin as a twig
SV: I know that...
DV: Look likes your dear old Pappy - about to blow your wig
SV: Oh I'm gonna blow my wig, Pappy
What's the use of getting sober
When you're gonna get drunk again
Oh Sam done something fine
When he bought that good whiskey, beer and wine
I love my whiskey and I love my gin
Every time you see me I'm in my sin
So what's the use of getting sober
When you're gonna get drunk again
DV: I went out last night about half past one
Thought I'd whoop it up a little and have some fun
I got me a half pint about half past two
Mmm, mmm, the way I was feeling you know what I wanna do
Got me a pint about half past four
Felt so good, went out and got me some more
Got me a quart about half past five
Boy, that was so nice didn't know if I was dead or alive
So what's the use of getting sober
If you're gonna get drunk again
Oh Sam done something fine
When he bought that good whiskey, beer and wine
I love my whiskey and I love my gin
Every time you see me I'm in my sin
So what's the use of getting sober
When you're gonna get drunk again
Well I've been thinking
But I keep drinking
I guess I'm 'bout lose my mind
(C) Leeds Music Ltd.

song performed by by Joe Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I wrote the original Mike Hammer as a comic, Mike Danger.

quote by Mickey Spillane
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Ballad Of Ira Hayes

Gather round you people and a story I will tell
About a brave young indian you should remember well
From the tribe of pima indians, a proud and a peaceful band
They farmed the phoenix valley in arizona land
Down their ditches for a thousand years the sparkling water rushed
Till their white man stole their water rights and the running water hushed
Now iras folks were hungry and their farms wene crops of weeds
But when war came he volunteers and forgot, the white mans greed
Call him, drunken ira hayes, he wont answer anymore
Not the whiskey-drinking indian or the marine who went to war
Yes, call him, drunken ira hayes, he wont answer anymore
Not the whiskey-drinking indian or the marine who went to war.
They started up iwo jima hill, 250 men
But only 27 lived to walk back down that hill again
And when the fight was over and the old glory raised
One of the men who held it high was the indian ira hayes
Call him, drunken ira hayes, he wont answer anymore
Not the whiskey-drinking indian or the marine who went to war
Call him, drunken ira hayes, he wont answer anymore
Not the whiskey-drinking indian or the marine who went to war.
Now ira returned a hero, celebrated throughout the land
He was wined and speeched and honored, everybody shook his hand
But he was just a pima indian, no money crops, no chance
And at home nobody cared what ira had done and the wind did the indians
Dance
Call him, drunken ira hayes, he wont answer anymore
Not the whiskey-drinking indian or the marine who went to war
Call him, drunken ira hayes, he wont answer anymore
Not the whiskey-drinking indian or the marine who went to war.
And ira started drinking hard, jail was often his home
They let him raise the flag there and lower it like youd throw a dog a bone
He died drunk early one morning, alone in the land he had fought to save
Two inches of water in a lonely ditch was the grave for ira hayes
Call him, drunken ira hayes, he wont answer anymore
Not the whiskey-drinking indian or the marine who went to war
Yes, call him, drunken ira hayes, he wont answer anymore
Not the whiskey-drinking indian or the marine who went to war.
Yes, call him, drunken ira hayes, but his land is still as dry
And his ghost is lying thirsty in the ditch where ira died
Call him, drunken ira hayes, he wont answer anymore
Not the whiskey-drinking indian or the marine who went to war
Yes, call him, drunken ira hayes, he wont answer anymore
Not the whiskey-drinking indian or the marine who went to war.

song performed by by Bob Dylan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Stone-Cutter

We hammer, hammer, hammer on and on,
Day-out, day-in, throughout the year,
In blazing heat and tempests drear;
God's house we slowly heavenward rear--
We'll never see it done!

We hammer, hammer, hammer, might and main.
The sun torments, the rain drops prick,
Our eyes grow blind with dust so thick;
Our name is dust, too, fadeth quick--
No glory and no gain!

We hammer, hammer, hammer ever on.
O blessed God on Heaven's throne,
Dost thou take care of every stone
And leave the toiling poor alone,
Whom no one looks upon?

poem by Carmen Sylva
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Little Darlin'

Little Darling (Lynott)
--------------
Little darling, gonna be a rock and roll star
Little darling, gonna play electric guitar
Little darling, I'd like to get to know you
Pleased to meet you, how do you do?
Little darling
Little darling
Little darling
Little darling
Little darling, gonna love you tonight
Little darling, gonna shake, shake, boogaloo
Little darling, can I rattle my bones and dance with you?
And later on there'll be some lovie dovin'
A little kissing
A little hugging
A little holding you
Little darling, what's your mama mama going to do?
Little darling, when she finds out I stayed out all night with you?
Little darling, I'm gonna miss kissing you
Little darling, I'm gonna miss kissing you
Little darling
Little darling
Little darling
Little darling
Little darling, gonna love you tonight

song performed by by Thin Lizzy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Little Darling

Little darling, gonna be a rock and roll star
Little darling, gonna play electric guitar
Little darling, Id like to get to know you
Pleased to meet you, how do you do?
Little darling
Little darling
Little darling
Little darling
Little darling, gonna love you tonight
Little darling, gonna shake, shake, boogaloo
Little darling, can I rattle my bones and dance with you?
And later on therell be some lovie dovin
A little kissing
A little hugging
A little holding you
Little darling, whats your mama mama going to do?
Little darling, when she finds out I stayed out all night with you?
Little darling, Im gonna miss kissing you
Little darling, Im gonna miss kissing you
Little darling
Little darling
Little darling
Little darling
Little darling, gonna love you tonight

song performed by by Thin Lizzy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian.

quote by Herman Melville
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Better to sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian.

quote by Herman Melville
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My father was predisposed to drunken rages. I would hide under the bed. My sister and I were talking just the other day about the terror a drunken man in a rage can create in a child.

quote by Antonio Villaraigosa
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Love Is Here & You Are Gone

Written & composed: brian holland, lamont dozier and eddie holland
Love is here
And oh my darling, now youre gone
Love is here
And oh my darling, now youre gone
You persuaded me to love you
And I did
But instead of tendeness
I found heartache instead
Into your arms I fell
So unaware of the lonelyness
Thar was waiting there
Spoken :
You closed the door to your heart, girl
And you turned the key
Locked your love away from me
Love is here
And oh my darling, now youre gone
You made me love you
And oh my darling, now youre gone
You said loving you
Would make life beautiful
With each passing day
But as soon as love came
Into my heart
You turned and you walked
Just walked away
Spoken :
You stripped me of my dreams
You gave me faith, then you took my hope
Look at me now
Look at me
See what loving has done to me
Look at my face
See how cryin has left its trace
After you made me all your own
Then you left me all alone
You made your words sound so sweet
Knowing that your love I couldnt keep
Spoken :
My heart cries out for your tuch
But baby, youre not there
And the lonely cry fades in the air
Love is here
And oh my darling, now youre gone
Love is here
And oh my darling, now youre gone
You made me love you
Oh oh my darling, now youre gone
Talking bout love, love, love, love,
Ooh ooh my darling, now youre gone

song performed by by Michael Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hammer Of Love

I was a young man,
When the hammer came down,
Thought I could handle it,
Wouldn't do me no harm.
She was a young girl,
Stars in her hair,
Rings on her finger tips,
A diamond so rare.
Hammer came down from above,
Hammer, Hammer of love.
Oho, won't you save me.
She was a young girl,
With dangerous ways,
The tears of a demon,
Kissed by a saint.
Hammer came down from above,
Oh, Hammer, Hammer of love.
Oho, yeah.
Though you pound this bitter heart,
Down to a molten steel,
Cast it in the furnace,
Of your burning spinning wheel,
I will rise up through the flames,
To wrap you in my arms,
Brand you with my loving seal
And steal your tender charms.
Oh, yeah.
The scent of our loving,
Woke my desire,
She stirred my smouldering heart,
Left me on fire.
Oh, Hammer down from above,
Oh, Hammer, Hammer of love.
Hammer, how you saved me
Hammer, how you saved me
Saved my soul.
Hear me calling you,
Through the misty morning,
Mountain and Valley,
Ocean and Sea.

song performed by by Bad Company
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Under The Hammer

Under the hammer, under the hammer again
Under the hammer, under the hammer again
I gotta be strong, gotta be strong yeah
I gotta hold on, hold on to the magical key
Somebody's following me
I've got to know some more than this suffering
There's something more but it's just not happening
I've got to know some more than this hammering
Hammering you
Under the hammer, under the hammer again
Under the hammer, under the hammer again
I've got to be free, heal me mantra
Send me an earthquake, drag the city into the sea
Somebody's following me
I've got some news, everybody's going down
Apocalypse now!

song performed by by Kula Shaker
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lonely Heart

Mike and a girl talking to each other:
Girl: mike..
Mike: yeah, baby
Girl: its over
Mike: how can you say that?
Girl: Im sorry. the love is gone.
Mike: no, please dont leave me.
Girl: dont feel bad.
Mike: how can I not feel bad. I love you.
Girl: but, its better this way.
Mike: no. I dont believe this.
Girl: no, baby
I never thought that it could be
You would turn and do this to me
I can feel the love that we had between us
Merely fade away
You told me youd never go away
And for me youd always be here
Now you tell me that somethings wrong and you must move on
Chorus:
Lonely heart is what Ill be
And no one cares for me
Let me show you now
The way that it would be if you were with me
Now I can feel the love we share
When you say its not there
Deep inside I know that you still care
But I need you to show me now
Im lookin for a quiet place where love is free
And the dreams we shared last eternally
I feel now that its the time
So wont you please come over here
The closer and the closer I get to you
Keeps me warm to know that youll stay around
So please keep your promise to me and dont go
Chorus
Let me show you now
The way that it would be if you were with me
Now I can feel the love we share
When you say its not there
Deep inside I know that you still care
But I need you to show me now
Chorus (fades out)

song performed by by Boyz II Men
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I never had one beer. If I bought a six-pack of beer, I kept drinking till all six beers were gone. You have to have that kind of understanding about yourself. I haven't had a drink now in 12 years.

quote by Samuel L. Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Ballad Of Ira Hayes

(peter lafarge)
Gather round me people and a story I will tell
bout a brave young indian lad, you should remember well,
From a tribe of pima indians, a proud and peaceful band
Who farmed the phoenix valley out in arizona land.
Down their ditches for a thousand years the sparkling water rushed
Till the white man stole the water rights and the running water hushed.
Iras folks was hungry, their fields grew thick with weeds,
But when war came ira volunteered and forgot the white mans greed.
Call him drunken ira hayes, he wont answer anymore,
Not that whiskey drinking indian or marine who went to war.
Well, they battled up iwo jima hill, two hundred and fifty men
But only twenty-seven lived to walk back down again.
And after the fight was over and old glory proudly raised,
Among the men who held her high was an indian, ira hayes.
Call him drunken ira hayes, he wont answer anymore,
Not that whiskey drinking indian or marine who went to war.
Well, ira hayes returned a hero, celebrated throughout the land,
He was wined and speeched and honored, everybody shook his hand.
But hes just a pima indian, no food, no friend, no chance,
And nobody cared what ira did and when do the indians dance.
Well, ira took to drinking hard, jail often was his home,
They used to let him raise the flag there and lower it just like youd throw a dog a bone.
And ira died drunk early one morning all alone in the land hed fought to save.
Two inches of water in a lonely ditch was the grave for ira hayes.
Call him drunken ira hayes, he wont answer anymore,
Not that whiskey drinking indian or marine who went to war.
Yeah, call him drunken ira hayes, but his land is till as dry
And his ghost, well, thats lying thirsty in the ditch where ira died.
Call him drunken ira hayes, he wont answer anymore,
Not that whiskey drinking indian or marine who went to war.

song performed by by Kinky Friedman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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