Not Enough Channels
I understand that when
you own the cable TV,
you can watch Law and Order
pretty much constantly,
and HBO and Showtime
at times show shows to see,
and I understand that even
local channels aren't blurry.
But I'm too poor, and can't afford
such a fine luxury,
but you wouldn't know, since you watch your shows
over in gay Paris.
poem by John W. McEwers
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Cable Tv
I used to think my life was so empty
I used to think life was passin me by
Well, I was just about ready
To curl up and die
But then one day I got a visit
From the cable company
Well, they hooked me up and plugged me right in
And now I got cable tv
And now I get to watch the stock report in korean
Midget wrestling on channel three
It costs me fifty bucks a month just to see em
Yeah, but thats all right with me
I got cable tv (cable tv)
Cable tv (cable tv)
Oh, eighty-three channels of ecstasy
I love my cable tv, yeah
I love my cable tv
I got the siamese faith healers network
The news and weather from peru
I got celebrity hockey
The racketball channel too
Bugs bunny direct from atlanta
Mr. wizard is on at five
I got a satellite dish on the trunk of my car
So I can watch mtv while I drive
Im talkin bout real quality programs
The kind you just cant get for free
Now I never wanna leave my apartment
cause theres just so much for me to see
On my cable tv (cable tv)
Cable tv(cable tv)
Well, if you need to find me
You know where Ill be
Watchin my cable tv, yeah
Watchin my cable tv
cause I love my cable tv, yeah
I love my cable tv
My friends are gettin kinda worried
They think Im turning into some kinda freak
Oh, but theyre just jealous cause Ive seen porkys
Twenty-seven times this week
On my cable tv (cable tv)
Cable tv (cable tv)
Yeah, the greatest thing thats ever happened to me
I love my cable tv, yeah
I love my cable tv
Well, I got to have cable tv, yeah
I need my cable tv
Well, I love, I love my cable tv (tv)
Got to have cable tv (tv)
Well, I got to have my cable tv, yeah (tv)
Cant live without my cable tv
Well, I said, got to have some cable tv (tv)
Ive got to have my cable tv
I said cable tv, yeah (tv)
Got to have cable tv
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Cant Watch This
I cant watch this. I cant watch this
I cant watch this. I cant watch this
My my my my tv makes me so bored
Makes me say, oh my lord
What is this garbage here?
Wanna cover my eyes and plug my ears
It sucks, and thats no lie
Its about as much fun as watching paint dry
Lowers my iq one notch
And thats the reason why, uh, I cant watch
I told you homeboy... I cant watch this
Yeah, nothin but trash and you know...
I cant watch this
Poke out my eyes, man... I cant watch this
Yo, gimme that remote control... I cant watch this
Talkin bout sick shows
Teres americas funniest home videos
I cant believe my eyes
When I see the kind of stuff that wins first prize
Somebodys poor old mom
Falls down off the roof, lands right on the lawn
Face first on a rake
I hear theyve got it on the seventeenth take
Thats funny as a kick in the crotch
And that kind of show, uh, I cant watch
Yo, I told you... I cant watch this
Change the channel now, man... I cant watch this
Yo, pass the tv guide here, sucker... I cant watch this
Cosby show and rosanne
Think Ive taken bout as much as I can
Judge wopner, oh my
You gotta be rainman to like this guy
Thirtysomething is alright
If you like hearing yuppies whining all night
Cant stand twin peaks
Wish theyd lynch those donun-eatin freaks
Thos siskel & ebert bums
Oughta go home and sit on their thumbs
Thats word because you know... I cant watch this
I cant watch this
Break it down!
Heres-how-to-order-money-back-guarantee-removes-tough-stains-fast-it-tastes-more-like-fresh-peanuts-they-keep-going-and-going-dont-hate-me-because-im-beautiful-could-be-dandruff-our-prices-ar
Aaaane!!!
Stop! prime time!
Im pretty sure Ill be sick
If I have to watch another stupid pet trick
Or that guy with the real flat hair
That goes woof woof woof and waves his fist in the air
Or those weird talk shows
About transsexual nazi eskimos
Theyre rude, crude and vile
Just for a minute lets flip down the dial
Flip, flip, flip... yeccch, I cant watch this
Look man... I cant watch this
I cant take this torture no more, I cant...
I cant watch this
Pay the bills, station break
Break it down!
Operators-are-standing-by-cubic-zirconium-necklace-youre-soaking-in-it-and-our-fabulous-swimsuit-issue-when-youve-got-a-headache-this-big-this-is-your-brain-on-drugs-ive-fallen-and-i-cant-ge
!
Stop! cable time!
Hbo and playboy, showtime and mtv
I might like em more after my lobotomy
Now why did I ever pay for this junk?
I hooked up eighty channels and each one stunk
Just brainless blood and guts, and mindless t & a
Its awful, its putrid, its crummy, its stupid, gonna throw my set away
I cant watch this. I cant watch this
I cant watch this. yeah... I cant watch this
I told you... cant watch this
Too hip, cant watch this
Get me outta here... cant watch this
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Homophobia Song
Shows how homophobic some people are
Cryin tears Cause someone shows who they really are
Would they see it the same
If it was him
No
Cause they think it’s funny
They don’t understand
you
I get it
I don’t really care
everyone the same to me
me and us know
people who are scared
who hate themselves
who hate themselves
because of you
maybe you never think
maybe your just mean
maybe you can’t understand your wrong
maybe you follow the pack
like all the other sheep
it ain’t funny
and it aint an offense
its no joke
simple facts
aren’t funny
so just think just listen to your self
and maye you’d understand
I to everyone who gets it
well done
maybe we should just say…
Shows how homophobic some people are
Cryin tears Cause someone shows who they really are
Would they see it the same
If it was him
No
Cause they think it’s funny
They don’t understand
you
I get it
I don’t really care
everyone the same to me
me and us know
people who are scared
who hate themselves
who hate themselves
because of you
maybe you never think
maybe your just mean
maybe you can’t understand your wrong
maybe you follow the pack
like all the other sheep
will you think its funny when they dnt come back
oh yeah
didn’t think of that
in your quaint little gags
so take your head off
and screw it back on
the right way round
oh wait might ruin your hair
take it of girl
and leave it their
poem by Annie Clarke
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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They don't understand
They don't understand,
What its like to be me.
They don't understand,
Why school is hard for me.
They don't understand,
Why I'm so skinny.
They don't understand,
Why I have no friends.
They don't understand,
What I need.
They don't understand,
Why I lie.
They don't understand,
Why life is hard.
They don't understand,
What life is like for me.
They don't understand,
Why I hurt.
They don't understand,
Why I have fears.
They don't understand,
Why I'm different.
I don't understand,
Why they don't like me.
I don't understand,
Why they don't except me.
I don't understand,
What they say.
I don't understand,
Why they don't undersatnd,
Me...
poem by Dragon Crenshaw
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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In order to understand what they need to understand, in order to write what they write, they have to be free. And yet, they aren't ever free. They are not free because they are not free of the constrictions their art puts on them.
quote by Peter Davison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Freeview User Manual
Blah, blah, blah, blah... Batteries in.
Switch on... Scan for Freeview channels...
No channels found. Plug in aerial.
Scan for Freeview channels again...
Found 3 channels. Are you kidding me?
Page 12. Try a signal booster...
Later that afternoon...
Another £20 that's cost me!
Plug in aerial. Find a spare cable.
Fit cable to Freeview box...
Scan again... Channels in the wrong order.
Page 13. Top of page: Delete channels.
Page 13. Try manual scan...
Finally...100 channels.
Later that evening...
30 channels disappeared. Flipping thing!
Remove aerial. Autoscan. No channels.
Reconnect aerial. Pause for some whiskey...
Rescan channels. Ah... Click Save channels!
Check EPG. What's the EPG?
Page 205. Technical Terms Explained.
Later the next morning...
Page 16. How to record a programme...
OK, why's the first 5 minutes not there?
Page 17. Missing segments in recordings?
Page 18. Using Timeshift rewind playback.
Press rewind button and again, again and again.
Pause at chosen start point for manual recording.
Press record then start button.
Fast forward to end of programme...
Rewind to end of programme...
Fast forward to end of programme...
Press record and stop button.
Where's the stop button?
Page 4. Remote control buttons guide.
Press the stop button...
Later that afternoon... in the shop...
Hi, I've brought this Freeview thing back.
What's wrong with it, mate?
It's flipping driving me m.m.mental!
Denis Martindale, copyright February 2011.
poem by Denis Martindale
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Understand
I understand your problem
I understand the reason for your tears
I understand what you went through
don't cry because i'm here
I'm here to catch you when you are falling
I'm here to wipe your tears
Be strong
don't let you mistakes lead you
stand and fight for yourself
don't let go
hold on still
i understand how it hurt
i understand how it feels like
get back on your feet
when stumble and fall
i understand
i understand
oh i understand your pain
i understand you went through a lot in life
but remember
be strong, and never give up
I understand
poem by Guenael Oristel
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Never Will You Ever Understand It
Never will you understand it.
Why things in my heart wont leave.
You will never understand it.
Never will you ever understand it.
Never will you understand it.
Why I express little empathy.
You will never understand it.
Never will you ever understand it.
My mind has grown too agitated and annoyed.
My emotions tied in knots,
Have long dropped as my topic.
I have a peace within,
I'm hoping will never end.
Or come to the point,
I must defend.
Oh...
You will never understand it.
Never will you ever understand it.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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They'll Never Understand
They'll never understand why their laughter makes me cry.
They'll never understand that what they call truth I know it to be a lie.
They'll never understand as much as they hate me I love them just as much.
They'll understand why on them I'll never give up.
They'll never understand why I don't blame them for their views.
They'll never understand why I do what I do.
I do it because that is who I am.
But they'll never understand.
For I do not seek to understand in order to believe, but I believe in order to understand. For I believe this: unless I believe, I will not understand.
quote by Anselm of Canterbury
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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An Intruder
You like those worlds of order
A seaming order you don’t understand
That look like systems or something
Seaming you don’t understand
Deeply rooted in rules
The rules you don’t understand
You like to touch them I know
I know and I understand
Because your hair is wild
You like to blow them away
Scatter their neatness into the air
Because your eyes are restless
You like to open them up
And see what lies lie therein
Because your hands are free
You like to build them again
Whatever the peril design
Because you never had roots
You like to plant them in sunrooms
With lots of windows and halls
You are euthanasia sleeping on the patchworks
Perhaps you should leave those worlds alone
poem by Miroslava Odalovic
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Know.....
I know,
Sometimes things don't work out as they should
We tried to hang on as long as we could
At times its hard for you to understand
Please, do see that I try
Love at times just gets out of hand
I know,
Time is of the essence, unlike before
You getting older is harder to ignore
Any troubled times we have to fight together
With each other, we'll make it through any storm, any weather
I know,
I'm just a simple man, I don't know it all
But I'll be there to listen any time you call
Help you understand your first heartache
Discipline and teach with each mistake
I'll be there watching you as you graduate
and yes, give your hand away when you find your soul mate
I want you to know,
Before the time comes around the bend
When you put the car in drive, and I watch you go
The most important thing you should know
The people closest to your heart
There is no such thing telling them, 'I love you' too much
Whether you say it or show it
Always be sure they know it! !
poem by Carl Leiland
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Sunday Prayer 07
Dear Lord there is so many questions
that plague our mind each day.
We hear of wars fought constantly,
each side declare God is with them.
Oh Lord, how can this be?
Who is right and who is wrong?
Pray help me understand.
A blind man when told
he could have his sight returned.
He refused to have it back,
saying he did not want to see,
the deprivation of man to his fellow man.
Oh, Lord surely there has to be explanation.
I pray to you to help me understand.
If there is to be hope for the human race,
we must understand each person’s problems;
never turn our back to those in need.
So Lord I ask you today,
grant us with your eternal wisdom,
so that we may understand and help,
all of our fellow man,
through their indignation and sorrow
that so many face everyday.
Send your fateful lightning
to guide us on our way.
We need your wisdom and guidance
to help us each day through.
Oh Lord, as you hear this prayer,
grant it for us so we can show,
others the road to heaven and happiness,
And lead them into the safety of your open arms.
Oh Lord, grant us also the wisdom
of the answers to the questions
that constantly torment our mortal mind.
poem by David Harris
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Seniors
Seniors should have a calm, peaceful life,
If they learn in their youth how to get out of the strife.
They should learn how to keep the mind open for wisdom,
That at old age they would be in God's kingdom.
Everybody have an interesting life to go through,
Use that time constantly learn how to be in others shoe.
When we understand the others ways,
We'll find understanding to our own days.
Then we'll understand where problems and illness comes
We are the creator and only we can go through the humps.
There is no place for sickness when we need pity,
We have to watch our own lifestyle to be always witty.
Always choose strength, health, peace and true happiness,
Do your best to learn and understand the road to greatness.
Nobody can help you, but you yourself,
When you know this, you'll find freedom forever from a false self.
poem by LaSoaphia QuXazs
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Red, Red, Red
I don't understand about complimentary colors
And what they say
Side by side they both get bright
Together they both get gray
But he's been pretty much yellow
And I've been crying blue
But all I can see is
Red, red, red, red, red now
What am I to do
I don't understand about
Diamonds and why men buy them
What's so impressive about a diamond
Except the mining
And it's dangerous work
Trying to get to you too
And I think if I didn't have to
Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill myself doing it
Maybe I would glisten so much for you
I've been watching all the time
And I still can't find the track
And I wanna know is it okay
Is it just fine
Was it my fault
Is it my lack
I don't understand about
The weather outside
The harbinger to the words
Somebody lied
There's solace a bit for submitting
To the fitfully cryptically true
What's happened has happened
What's coming is already on its way
With a role for me to play
I don't understand
I'll never understand
But I'm trying to understand
There's nothing else I can do
song performed by by Fiona Apple
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Dont Understand My Girlfriend
(toby keith/jim femina)
I thought it would be dandy
If I bought that girl some candy
How was I suppose to know she was allergic to chocolate
I thought it would be fine
If we shared a glass of wine
She said, oh no, not another alcoholic
I dont understand my girlfriend
I havent got a clue
I dont know where shes coming from
Or where shes going to
But if opposites attract
Then I found the perfect woman jack
I dont understand my girlfriend
She dont understand me, too
Yeah I thought Id show some class
And order pheasant under glass
Hey how was I suppose to know she was an avid bird watcher
I dont understand my girlfriend
I havent got a clue
I dont know where shes coming from
Or where shes going to
But if opposites attract
Then I found the perfect woman jack
I dont understand my girlfriend
She dont understand me too
No she dont understand me too
No she dont understand me too
song performed by by Toby Keith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Try to Understand Me Too (Autism)
Today might not be my day,
You might understand what I want to say.
There are times that I want to wave my hand,
And you might think it is something that I am trying to demand.
Can you hear the soun
ds as I pound my feet,
Well maybe not, but all I am doing is trying to sound a beat.
Do you remember when I read the book with you?
It was about the ghost and you made me laugh when you said BOO.
I love to hear it when we whisper and shout Lullabies, songs and rhymes,
To me I wonder, if they can hear us while we do this during school time.
This is one reason why I always say things over and over again,
And when you try to stop me, I get mad every now and then.
I only wish I can understand everything that I'm being told,
But to me it feels like I am always being controlled.
Can you remember when you asked the class a question and I wanted to answer it when was not my turn,
All I am just trying to do is show you that I can remember things that I learn.
I try to understand why I get so mad and I cannot control myself and I hurt you,
When I think about it I get sad and cry because I wish someone could, Try to Understand Me Too.
I wish the other kids would let me play,
If they took the time to talk to me, they might understand things my way,
I also love it when you want to teach me how to pray,
And you ask the Lord to help thru this day,
I know that you understand me and even, if no one ever wants to even take a guess,
So, this is my ways of saying thank you and telling you that I will always try and do my best.
poem by Frank Pulver
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Country Leaver
Well I'm going to see you soon in Amsterdam.
I can't believe I can get there but I can, mam.
I hope when I see you that you're still likin' who I am, I am.
But if you don't baby well I'll still tell you that, I understand.
I'll tell you, I I I understand. I'll tell you, I I I understand.
I'll tell you I ...
I'm goin to see you in a foreign land.
I'll pack my bags, oh lord I'm a travelin man's, man.
I hope when I see you that you're still likin' who I am oh yeah.
But if you don't baby well I'll still tell you that, I understand.
I'll tell you, I I I understand. I'll tell you I I I understand.
I'll tell you I...
If you don't baby well I'll still tell you that, I understand.
I'll tell you, I I I understand.
I'll tell you I I I understand, I'll tell you I, Hey
song performed by by Dandy Warhols
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Back To The Island
Now the day is gone
And I sit alone and think of you girl
What can I do, without you in my life
Wonderin' if you love me or
Just makin' a fool of me.
Well I hope you understand
I just had to go back to the island
And watch the sun go down
Hear the sea roll in
I'll be thinkin' of you
And how it might've been
Hear the nightbird cry
Watch the sunset die
Well, I hope you understand
I just had to go back to the island
For all the sunny skies,
It's rainin' in my heart
I know down in my soul
I'm really gonna miss you
But it can't end this way
With all the games we've played.
Well, I hope you understand
I just had to go back to the island
Watch the sun go down
Hear the sea roll in
I'll be thinkin' of you
And how it might've been
Hear the nightbird cry
Watch the sunset die
Well I hope you understand
I just had to go back to the island
Sit and watch the sun go down
Listen to the sea roll in
Yes, I'll be thinkin' of you
And how it might've been
Listen to the nightbird cry
Sit and watch the sunset die
Well I hope you understand
I just had to go back to the island
I hope you understand
I just had to go back to the island
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Understan me please
Please understand me.
You are one of the closest people to me in a way.
But for some reason you don't understand me.
It's almost as if you don't want to understand.
I'm just a target to shout at.
Just an idiot you don't really want to understand.
But I am your blood.
Why can't you at least try to understand?
It's not as if I enjoy attempting suicide all the time.
I don't care what you say it's not always my fualt.
The diagnosis I was given, you won't even take in to account.
I try to explain but you don't listen.
All you say is you know what you are doing.
Stop it you say, yeah becuase it's really that easy not.
I'm not getting any enjoyment out of this you know?
But I wish you wouldn't shout and curse.
You say you love me.
But how can you when you won't try to understand?
Please, please understand me
poem by Amy Louise Kerswell
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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