Less Seductive
Less seductive than potato casseroles,
some women don’t deserve from me a ballad,
to get one, they have got to please me with their roles,
more like chopped liver than potato salad.
My favorite women arfe not entrées but desserts,
tiramisu, a sherbert or a crème
brûlée, and after I have cleared my breath with Certs,
I get rewarded by most fatales femmes.
I’ve learned that making unforeseeable what life
becomes can be for sexual tastebuds most exciting,
and since my unchaste chef is my blue-ribboned wife,
I do not worry about wine and lighting.
Inspired by Kenneth Turan’s comment, LA Times, September 2008, reviewing “Appaloosa, ” comparing the seductivness of Renée Zellweger, playing the role of Allison French, to that of a potato casserole:
Given the marked lack of piano-playing women with extensive wardrobes in Appaloosa, both Cole and Hitch are smitten, albeit to varying degrees, with the newcomer. Which really is too bad. Though the press notes insist that Allison French is 'beguiling, ' the reality is that she is anything but. With a simpering manner that offers all the charm and seductiveness of a potato casserole, she is not only unconvincing as the object of multiple suitors, she is also so off-putting a character that you wince when she comes on the screen. Though the Oscar-winning Zellweger has been excellent when she matches up well with the roles she plays, this is not a part she connects to at all. French is such a distraction that it's difficult to focus on the rest of 'Appaloosa's' plot, which involves the attempt to bring that reprobate rancher to justice and the working out of various romantic entanglements. One of the best lines in 'Appaloosa's' script talks about how fate has a way of making 'the unforeseeable that which your life becomes' and the way French's presence derails the entire enterprise is also something no one had the vision to foresee.
11/27/08
poem by Gershon Hepner
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Related quotes
Appaloosa
Appaloosa, runnin wild in the dead of the night
Appaloosa, youre the message of love and light
Apparitions, they grow wild in the plains of my mind
I get visions of the mountain that I must climb
Freedom aint no illusion
A truth no money can buy
With your sweet absolution
I will follow my star
For the rest of my life
It goes on and on
Appaloosa, runnin high in the heavens above
Appaloosa, youre the angel of God I love
Freedom aint no deception
A truth no man can deny
With your love and direction
I will follow my star
For the rest of my life
It goes on and on
Appaloosa, appaloosa, appaloosa, appaloosa
Appaloosa, runnin wild in the wake of the dawn
Appaloosa, youre the spirit that turns me on
Appaloosa, appaloosa, appaloosa, appaloosa
song performed by by Gino Vanelli
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Meat And Potato Man
meat and potato man
I like my steak well done, my taters fried
Football games on monday night
Its just who i am
A meat and potato man
I like my coffee black
Oltv shows
My women hot and my beer ice cold
Its just who i am
A meat and potato man
I dont like caviar, sushi bars,
The irs or phony stars
Im a haggard fan
A meat and potato man
I like my fishinholes, lightninbugs
Flatt nscruggs, and my womans love
Its just who i am
A meat and potato man
I like my wrangler jeans, cowboy boots
Cornbread and beans and country roots
Its just who i am
A meat and potato man
I dont like politics, hypocrites
Folks with poodles dressed like kids
Im a hounddog fan
A meat and potato manyeah, thats what i am,
A meat and potato man
song performed by by Alan Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Meat & Potato Man
Meat and potato man
I like my steak well done, my taters fried
Football games on monday night
Its just who I am
A meat and potato man
I like my coffee black
Oltv shows
My women hot and my beer ice cold
Its just who I am
A meat and potato man
I dont like caviar, sushi bars,
The irs or phony stars
Im a haggard fan
A meat and potato man
I like my fishinholes, lightninbugs
Flatt nscruggs, and my womans love
Its just who I am
A meat and potato man
I like my wrangler jeans, cowboy boots
Cornbread and beans and country roots
Its just who I am
A meat and potato man
I dont like politics, hypocrites
Folks with poodles dressed like kids
Im a hounddog fan
A meat and potato manyeah, thats what I am,
A meat and potato man
song performed by by Alan Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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One Potato
One potato, two potato
three potato four.
We need some potatoes
to help feed the poor.
Too many hungry babes
are being born today.
When their mother's milk runs dry
they'll have to find a way
to keep their bellies full.
No time for play.
One potato, two potato,
three potato, four.
You say into each life
a little rain must pour?
I say the rain's that's falling
are tears from the eyes
that run down children's faces
from hunger pains and cries
that elude the ears of rich ones
that never ever buys
potatoes for them all.
poem by Edwina Reizer
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The 'Potato' Poem
I love potatoes chopped up into chunky chips.
I love spicy potato wedges, served up with dips.
I love potato slices which have been fried in a pan:
Of sautéed potatoes, I am the world's biggest fan.
I love potatoes which have been pummelled and bashed
With butter and milk to make a real light, fluffy mash.
Jacket potatoes, I find a bit dry, but with a nice filling
Such as chilli, to give them a try, I am more willing.
With breakfast, I love hash browns or potato cakes,
And I love potatoes mixed up with leeks in a bake.
Crispy, golden potatoes, served up with Sunday roast
Are among the kinds of potato which I love the most.
Mixed in soups and casseroles, I love potatoes diced.
On top on minced beef hotpot, I love potatoes sliced.
Fluffy potato stuffed inside a crispy potato croquette
Is also rather nice, and, for me, it is another safe bet.
I love potatoes cut into crisps: the slices, wafer thin,
And, as a starter, I simply love loaded potato skins:
I do adore a delicious dish of Bombay potato curry:
For me, it is a taste which I won't forget in a hurry.
I like potatoes diced up with creamy mayonnaise,
Served up with salad on really hot summer days.
But I don't like potatoes which have been boiled:
From potatoes, cooked this way, in horror, I recoil.
poem by Angela Wybrow
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World Poem
I am a bluebird that flies around the world.
I am a frog that jumps to Japan.
I am a soccer ball that gets kicked to France.
I am a bluebird that flies around the world.
I am not a bomb that blows up the universe.
I am not a pan that cooks French waffles.
I am not a missile which explodes on contact.
I am not a bomb that blows up the universe.
I am a French fry that jumps around the world.
I am a pancake that flips for joy and happiness.
I am a flower that blows in the north winds and the south winds
I am a French fry that jumps around the world.
I am not a sad potato that flips for sadness.
I am not a black berry which gets destroyed after one strike.
I am not a raspberry which is red for anger.
I am not a sad potato which flips for sadness.
poem by Jake Lesperance
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One More Less Lonely Potato
One more less lonely potato left inside of the fridge to cool of
So that doesn’t get soggy
Because the heat might spoil that lonely potato
And that lonely potato needs a friend anyway
poem by Aldo Kraas
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At Last (Etta James)
So thank you guys so much for comin' around, stickin' around.
Some of you who came to both shows, that's really cool.
Well you see at last
My love well she's come along
And my lonely days well they're finally over
And my life is like a song
At la-ya-ya-ya-ya-yast, at la-a-a-a-ast, oh at last, at last, oh
Oh, this night above, well it looks like all of you
But you know, my heart is always wrapped up in Toca
(audience laughing)
(Jason : Ha ha)
Oh, the way he plays the fool-oo-oo
well well - do do do do do
Oh, did you bring your french horn tonight with you Mr. T
(yeah I brought the french horn)
French me with your horny, horny, horny, horny, horn
Woah-ooo-ooo
Wah-ah ah
Woah-ooo-ooo
Wah
You know he plays the low notes, but he sings the high notes.
Again this is Mr. Ian Sheridan our friend.
You know what that sounds like?
sounds like - love, (laughing) life's sweetest reward
it's an open sword
(Toca: sword ?)
hey love, exciting and new (laughing)
come aboard, we're expecting you
on the loooove boat (applause)
soon we'll be making another run
on the loooove boat oh-oh-oh
I'm lookin' to dock my boat - oh
(one, two)
song performed by by Jason Mraz
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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French women have been made beautiful by the French people - they're very aware of their bodies, the way they move and speak, they're very confident of their sexuality. French society's made them like that.
quote by Charlotte Rampling
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Potato
My love is a potato
Crude with piggy black eyes
Slit in the side and soiled by sod
My love is the rough handled skin
That follows the relentless storm
The tempestous waves
That raged and rent its first soft form
My love is a potato
The first and almost last known outcast
In a jungle school
His head was wedged like a spud
Mounted on a sinew of neck and bristle
His face sunken into flesh
His eyes two dark slits of piggy black lust
That lit up like a fool
I left him standing at the gate, after school!
My love is a potato after the mash and the kill
And the spill of the innocent milk of the martyr
The final slab of the butter
My love is a potato
Not quite a heart
Battered down
And worn
But after the storm
A sweetness and softening
And love is born!
yvette smith march 09
poem by Yvette Smith
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Dropped Like a Hot Potato
I had the fear in me stopped.
Dropped like a hot potato.
I got tired of being unhappy.
And strapped with available nonsense,
On my back.
I've long asked God to deliver me from that.
I had the fear in me stopped.
Dropped like a hot potato.
Without one regret of being burned.
Or which emotion I dealt with it.
I was not going to allow it to sit.
And nourish on me as if a leech!
I've long asked God to deliver me from that.
I had been whipped into doubt and confusion.
No one had to tell me I was crazed.
I was in the affirmation stage.
I had the fear in me stopped.
And dropped like a hot potato.
And today...
Nothing gets dropped.
Since the fear in me stopped.
To let go of an experience,
That may be too precious to go wasted!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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The Fury Of Cooks
Herbs, garlic,
cheese, please let me in!
Souffles, salad,
Parker House rolls,
please let me in!
Cook Helen,
why are you so cross,
why is your kitchen verboten?
Couldn't you just teach me
to bake a potato,
to bake a potato,
that charm,
that young prince?
No! No!
This is my county!
You shout silently.
Couldn't you just show me
the gravy. How you drill it out
of the stomach of that bird?
Helen, Helen,
let me in,
let me feel the flour,
is it blinding and frightening,
this stuff that makes cakes?
Helen, Helen,
the kitchen is your dog
and you pat it
and love it
and keep it clean.
But all these things,
all these dishes of things
come through the swinging door
and I don't know from where?
Give me some tomato aspic, Helen!
I don't want to be alone.
poem by Anne Sexton
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Tender Buttons [Apple]
APPLE
Apple plum, carpet steak, seed clam, colored wine, calm seen, cold cream, best shake, potato, potato and no no gold work with pet, a green seen is called bake and change sweet is bready, a little piece a little piece please.
A little piece please. Cane again to the presupposed and ready eucalyptus tree, count out sherry and ripe plates and little corners of a kind of ham. This is use.
poem by Gertrude Stein
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Banana Soup
If juice can be extracted from a potato,
Like a tomato or carrot...
Why can't that happen to a banana?
Although it can be argued that potato juice,
Can be heated and called soup.
Banana soup doesn't sound too appealing.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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High fashion has the shelf life of potato salad.
Barbara Kingsolver in Life Without Go-Go Boots
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Battle of the Herrings
A fishing action
North of France
1429 took place
Cause of battle
French vs. English
Anticipation/baited breath
River – flat plain
Set up strategy
Hook/line/sinker
British attacked first
French were slow
English bombarded fish
French did not
want to get
their shoes wet
Were most certain
outflanked by British
French counter attacked
Used Brie instead
of slippery worms
Won the fishing
competition – yelled Viva’
la fishermen French
“What was that”?
asked the English
“What’s the matter
with you cockneys
Hard of Herring? ”
'2008'
poem by Robert Sheridan
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Whatever is said about roles drying up, I intend to keep working. Certainly now the roles couldn't be more interesting - playing mothers, divorcees. I think it's going to be exciting to play a mother of teenagers. The longer your life, the deeper it gets.
quote by Naomi Watts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I am a guest of the French language. My poems in French are born of my interaction with the French language, which is not the same as that of a French poet.
quote by Tahar Ben Jelloun
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Two cows deconstruct Derrida
These two cows were ruminating
and one says, I was listening
to the milkmaid’s transistor
and this French philosopher
was explaining that there’s
no English translation of the French word
‘betise’ except ‘stupidity’ but
‘stupidity’ only refers to man
where the French ‘betise’ means
to behave like an animal…
and the other cow says
well what’s wrong with that
and the first cow says
well his point is, English cows
can’t be stupid; only man
can be stupid..
and the other cow says
well that’s a relief then
so does that mean that French cows
can be stupid
and the first cow says
no because they don’t have a word for it
in French
so the other cow says
so then is it better to be
an English cow
that can’t be stupid
or a French cow
that can’t be called stupid
and the first cow says
who cares, I’ve always said
the French ruminate too much
and then talk bullshit…
and the other cow says
I’m glad I’m a Jersey
what about that French milkmaid
I call sexyhands but
the farmer sometimes calls
a silly cow I wonder what
Derrida would say about that
poem by Michael Shepherd
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I met my wife through playing golf. She is French and couldn't speak English and I couldn't speak French, so there was little chance of us getting involved in any boring conversations - that's why we got married really quickly.
quote by Sean Connery
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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