Knowing Idiots
Sunday.
I don't eat by myself
So I leave the television on
To fill in.
The food is cold in my fingers
And warm in my throat.
A forgotten rerun;
A sorry substitute for people.
Sundays are awful days
With such a lot to think about.
I think about
Where you are
Right now.
And how you are.
I hope you're sad.
Real sad.
I hope you feel like ripping your heart out.
But mostly I wonder
Why you are.
I don't like idiots.
You shouldn't be.
Saturday.
An idiot sits in front of me.
The idiots is happy with a lump of plasticine.
See how the plasticine, see how she changes
With me.
But child, you're not the one playing with plasticine.
It's the other way 'round.
Wednesday.
Saw the idiot in totality.
The idiot was all smiles.
I knew why
But didn't understand.
Idiots are beyond me.
What the idiots knows
Only the idiot knows.
The idiot is real smart.
So I want to give up on the idiot
While I'm still alive.
But before I do
I just want to see the idiot cry
And know what it's been like
And what it feels like
To be a fool.
poem by Shikha Gupta

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Related quotes
Idiot Son Of An Asshole
He's not smart, a C student
And that's after buying his way into school
Beady eyes, and he's kinda dyslexic
Can he read? No one's really quite sure
He signs stuff and he executes people
Maybe that's why, he doesn't have any friends
Cocaine and a little drunk driving
Doesn't matter, when you're the Commander in Chief.
Idiot son of an asshole
He's the idiot son of an asshole
Idiot son of an asshole
He's the idiot son of an asshole
Put on some make-up, turn on the 8-Track,
I'm putting a week back on the shelf,
Suddenly I'm the President, of the United States,
But then I woke up, and realized I'm still me.
He's too dumb, to eat pretzels, apparently smart enough to fix an election.
Moved boldly into the White House,
but most people voted against him.
He likes naps, He really likes naptime, A couple of naps and then a nap and then he's ready for bed,
He may be from Bush decent, but he's always gonna be the unpresident.
Idiot son of an asshole
He's the idiot son of an asshole
Idiot son of an asshole
He's the idiot son of an asshole
Idiot son of an asshole
He's the idiot son of an asshole
He's our president!
song performed by by NOFX

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The Idiot Son Of An Asshole
NoFX - Idiot Son Of An Asshole lyrics
He's not smart, a C student
And that's after buying his way into school
Beady eyes, and he's kinda dyslexic
Can he read? No one's really quite sure
He signs stuff and he executes people
Maybe that's why, he doesn't have any friends
Cocaine and a little drunk driving
Doesn't matter, when you're the Commander in Chief.
Idiot son of an asshole
He's the idiot son of an asshole
Idiot son of an asshole
He's the idiot son of an asshole
(***not in the video version on The War On Errorism****
Put on some make-up, turn on the 8-Track,
I'm putting a week back on the shelf,
Suddenly I'm the President, of the United States,
But they I woke up, and realized I'm still me. )
He's too dumb, to eat pretzels, apparently smart enough to fix an election.
Moved boldly into the White House,
though most people voted against him.
He likes naps, He's good at naptime, A couple of naps and then a nap and then he's ready for
bed,
He may be from Bush decent, He's always gonna, gonna be the un-precedent
Idiot son of an asshole
He's the idiot son of an asshole
Idiot son of an asshole
He's the idiot son of an asshole
Idiot son of an asshole
He's the idiot son of an asshole
He's our president!
song performed by by NOFX

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Jack The Idiot Dunce
Whos the fool with the cross-eyed stare,
The turned up nose and moronic glare?
Whos that simpleton standing over there?
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
Whos that dumb-looking freckle-faced runt?
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
He walks like his feet are on back to front,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
When he waddles down the street he looks kind of queer,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce,
Because hes got two left feet and taxi-door ears,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
And when we laugh at the clothes he wears,
Jack just smiles cos he dont care.
Whos that fool? whos that ninny?
Whos that twit? whos that chump?
The idiot dunce, the idiot dunce.
Who is always the bottom of the class?
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
Whos a fool? whos a boob?
Whos a kook and an ass?
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
When we take examinations he never gets a pass,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
And we all put him down cos he cant think fast,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
We ridicule him and punch him around,
But jack just laughs and stands his ground,
The idiot dunce, the idiot dunce.
Yeah, hes so unco-ordinated.
Yeah, and so disorientated,
And when we have a high school hop
You ought to see that idiot bop
And his arms and his legs
Seem to have minds of their own,
And you dont need brains
To have educated muscles and bones.
Yeah, you ought to see him dance
He moves like hes in a trance,
And when we have a high school hop
You ought to see that idiot rock,
And hes finally proved
That you dont need a high i.q.
To make your body move.
Now hes created a dance that everybodys trying to do.
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
Do the idiot dunce.
All right put your finger on your nose,
Now cross those eyes.
Put your hands on your hips,
Now wriggle your backside.
Now youve got the knack
To do the idiot jack
From your head to the tips of your toes.
Now the whole worlds doing it and everybody knows,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
Hes a real cool cat and a real gone groove,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
And the girls go crazy when he starts to move,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce
Now jacks a success hes got nothing to prove,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
Even though jack is dim
His mother is so proud of him.
Hey, whos that groovy looking dude
Dancing with all the chicks?
The idiot dunce, the idiot dunce.
song performed by by Kinks

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Which is better?
A genius knows when to dumb it down
A smart man knows when to know nothing
And an idiot can be all three
Well what does that mean?
Your only as smart as others allow
So if your too smart to be understood,
To others your intelligence level goes down
So to truly be a genius you must know when dumbing it down is good
To know nothing isn't unintelligence
It's best for different situations
Though very different from a genius,
A smart man recognizes when on his knowledge to put limitations
An idiot is in the best position,
Because it's second nature for them to put it in layman's terms
An idiot has the best potential for genius if it's his intention
And being an idiot is how others feel their intelligence is confirmed
poem by Martin McCollugh

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Village Idiot
Did you see the lad, on the corner
He was standing drinking wine
Wears his overcoat in the summer
And short sleeves in the winter time
Takes his holidays, down at the bookies
Well he knows how to pick a horse
Village tramping round the countryside
He wears a smile, but he doesnt say much
Village idiot, hes complicated
Village idiot, simple mind
Village idiot, he does know something
But hes just not saying
Dont you know hes onto something
You can see it, you can see it in his eyes
Sometimes he looks so happy
As he goes strolling by
Oh village idiot, hes complicated
Village idiot, hes got a simple mind
Village idiot, must know something
But hes just not saying
Well you all know hes onto something
You can see it in his eyes
Sometimes he looks so happy
When he goes walking by
Sometimes he looks so happy
When he goes walking by
Sometimes he looks so happy
When he goes walking by.
song performed by by Van Morrison

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm An Idiot
what a dumbass i am
I can't even rhyme these words
What a dumbass i am
I love napalm death
Even though napalm death sucks
Sucks large balls
Megadeth is way better
I hang out in malls
I'm an idiot
I watch looney tunes
I'm an idiot
I don't go to church
I'm an idiot
I like to smoke chairs
I'm an idiot
Shoot me please
I can't get a girlfreind
Because i suck
I like to screw goats
What a dumbass i am
I'm an idiot
I watch looney tunes
I'm an idiot
I dont go to church
I'm an idiot
I like to smoke chairs (don't ask me how)
I'm an idiot
Shoot me please!
song performed by by Nine Inch Nails

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Idiot
So I was an idiot
I was a goddamn idiot
Because I came here so violent
Because I came around here so violent
I said yes I was an idiot
I was a goddamn idiot
Because I made you think for it
Because I came round here to think for it
And sing it
Its a wonderful life
Never felt so alive
Never felt so alive
Its a wonderful life
Never felt so alive
Never felt so alive
My love, my love, where have you been?
My love, my love, where did you go?
My love, my love, what have you seen?
My love, youre such an idiot
Like an idiot
I run around like a chicken with its head cut off
Like an idiot
I run around like a chicken with its head cut off
Like an idiot
I run around like a chicken with its head cut off
Like an idiot
I was an idiot
I fell down like a goddamn idiot
Because I came here to bring them down
Because I came round here to fight them down
I said yes I felt like an idiot
I was a goddamn idiot
Sing it
Its a wonderful life
Never felt so alive
Never felt so alive
Its a wonderful life
Never felt so alive
Never felt so alive
My love, my love, where have you been?
My love, my love, where did you go?
My love, my love, what have you seen?
My love, youre such an idiot
Like an idiot
I run around like a chicken with its head cut off
Like an idiot
I run around like a chicken with its head cut off
Like an idiot
I run around like a chicken with its head cut off
Like an idiot
Listen now, its a wonderful life
Never felt so alive
Its a wonderful life
Never felt so alive
Its a wonderful life
Never felt so alive
Never felt so alive
Its a wonderful life -acapo
song performed by by Coldplay

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Complete Fool
'For clarification purposes...
Let me say this,
I am not an idiot.
Nor have I ever been an idiot!
I love brown rice.
I have always loved brown rice.
And those accusations to the contrary
Are hurtful allegations
To erode my many years of public service!
That I kept this to myself...
And away from those who trusted my decisions,
For more than fourty years...
I did so in the hopes that the gas I passed
Would go away!
It did so in past encounters!
When at the time,
I chose to wear my open toed sandals!
For that...
I regret.
I know now I should have worn my wingtips!
I repeat...
I am not an idiot.
I have never been an idiot.
I love brown rice.
I have always loved brown rice.
That I pleaded guilty...
I deeply regret!
And have since sought counseling
From a noted nutritionist,
To help me with my diet!
And decide how to best deal with this situation.
And again...
With the hopes that I am totally convincing...
I am not an idiot.
Nor have I ever been an idiot.
I love brown rice.
I have always loved brown rice.
I may be a complete fool...
But an idiot,
I am not! '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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The Parrot
The Parrot.
The café in our village has shut. The couple who ran it left
when their parrot died. They had kept the place open for it,
since it was a genial bird. The parrot called everyone who
entered idiots; people laughed no one took offence, or so
we all thought. But someone must have taken umbrage, it
was shot through the window when the café was empty.
Feather everywhere the village was shocked, who could do
such a shameful deed? The culprit, was a farmer, who had
drunk his coffee at the café for twenty odd years, and had
enough of being called an idiot. The moral of this sad tale,
if there is any: if you call a man an idiot long enough he will
end up being one.
poem by Oskar Hansen

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There is no one thoroughly despicable. We cannot descend much lower than an idiot; and an idiot has some advantages over a wise man.
quote by William Hazlitt

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If I decide to be an idiot, then I'll be an idiot on my own accord.
quote by Johannes Sebastian Bach

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Galileo was no idiot. Only an idiot could believe that science requires martyrdom - that may be necessary in religion, but in time a scientific result will establish itself.
quote by David Hilbert

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Go for a business that any idiot can run - because sooner or later, any idiot probably is going to run it.
quote by Peter Lynch

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Only an idiot fights a war on two fronts. Only the heir to the throne of the kingdom of idiots would fight a war on twelve fronts.
quote by J. Michael Straczynski

Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Bad For Your Health
I looked at some photos
of many years ago.
Boy, did I look young.
They were taken before
the grey hairs and wrinkles set in.
However, it doesn’t seem
all that long ago.
At the time of the photos,
the world wasn’t full of stress.
There wasn’t so many idiots saying
don’t do this as its bad for your health.
The only thing I can see
that is really bad for your health,
is those idiots that keep saying,
don’t do this, don’t do that.
Maybe if they kept their gob shut,
we all might have a stress fee day.
Can anyone remember the old saying
too many crooks spoil the broth?
If you can’t,
I suspect the reason for it
is someone said it is bad for your health.
Now lets make a list
according to the idiots,
down through the year have told us
which is bad for our health.
The problem here is
it would take too long to name them all.
Now let’s make a list
of what is good for you.
It doesn’t matter what you put down.
Some idiot is going to come along next year
and tell you that it is bad for your health.
Now what I really want to know
from these educated idiots.
Have they ever heard the words
malnutrition and starvation?
Because if they haven’t
I suggest they learn them double quick
before we have a world full of skin and bones.
poem by David Harris

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I'm all in favor of the democratic principle that one idiot is as good as one genius, but I draw the line when someone takes the next step and concludes that two idiots are better than one genius.
quote by Leo Szilard

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People who got on their feet and freaked about were called idiot dancers. and nobody wants to be called an idiot dancer. But the whole idea of rock and roll is to get people off their arses - that's what it's about.
quote by Steve Marriott

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Billy Sometimes I feel like an idiot. But I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.
quote by Billy Madison

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A Reason To Condescend
Not often,
But there has been times...
When one can not help but find,
A reason to condescend.
A pulling done of rank,
Or a sarcasm spoken...
To one who shows not a bit of thanks.
With not a hint of appreciation expressed,
For a suggestion or advice given...
At one's request.
But...
Chastised,
In a way that a disrespect is not merited.
Not often,
But there has been times...
When one can not help but find,
A reason to condescend.
'You know,
After listening to your presentation...
I have come to the conclusion,
You are more of an idiot than I first believed.'
~I am flattered and quite humbled by your comments.
But I can not take full credit for your observances,
Since someone with your experience and expertise...
Has undoubtedly perfected being an idiot to a 'T'.
I am still working on it!
But I will do the best I can,
To reflect your best moves.
In the hopes of becoming a full fledge idiot,
Like you have presented yourself to be.~
Never defend your reason to condescend,
IF that request has obviously been made!
'That was not a compliment,
You know? '
~I apologize.
I did not intentionally mean to offend!
I should have stated...
You are the 'biggest' idiot yet.
Now both of us should be pleased,
That we met and shared...
An inspiration that motivates.~
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Programming today is a race between software engineers stirring to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.