I Hate Fudge
I Hate Fudge
by Ted L Glines
Chocolate fudge makes me cringe
with anxiety. Molasses fudge
will half kill me.
I hate fudge.
I have spent most of my life
in a valient fight
to rid the world of evil fudge,
one piece at a time.
In this imperfect world
full of fudge-lovers,
I am the last of
the Anti-Fudge Knights,
struggling against the growing tide
of sweet-tooths on one side
and fudge-makers on the other.
An impossible battle
but someone has got to do it.
Oh Nooooooooooooooooo ...
Wally World is opening a whole display
of fudges from around the globe,
a conspiracy of chocolate and molasses
and walnut pieces.
This looks like a job for Fudge-Killer
(Tah Tahhhhh! ! !) to the RESCUE! ! !
poem by Ted L Glines
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Related quotes
Will It Get Better?
why do i try to prove myself to you?
everything is never what you want.
what the hell that about!
i don't know why.
but, what do i got to prove to you?
i should be trying to prove to myself,
so why am i paying attention to your comments.
it don't make sense, that i spend most of my time
thinking of them.
it just brings me down.
is that what you want?
it seem to make you happy.
does it matters what the fudge i want! ! ! ! ! !
fudge no, it never did! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
cuz to you I'm always in it for something.
did it ever occur to you i want something more.
fudge no! ! ! ! !
to you that asking on way to much.
what is it going to take?
to have back the life i had.
yet being left in with people who are never happy.
is that so much to ask?
yeah i guess it is.
I'm still stuck in a world that,
messed up and lonely.
will it ever get better.
i have no ideal.
10-14-08
poem by Mona Martinez
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The big cat and the fudge
I was walking to school one day
When a huge cat stepped in my way
I offered the large cat some fudge
And asked if it would kindly budge
The cat took the fudge happily
And came along to school with me
Teachers and students watched in awe
As I held the cat by its paw
It went to all lessons with me
To Art and English and PE
But when we both arrived back home
My mother said, “HE HAS TO GO! ”
The cat and I went separate ways
I never saw that cat again
Sometimes I lay fudge on our front step
And as you might or not have guessed,
Every night it vanishes
poem by Monique Sapla
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Kilwin’schocolate
Kilwin’smakes original fudge recipes,
it allstarted in 1948 with Don and Katy.
Donand Katy Kilwin started hand-crafting fudge
on amarble table is where their business had begun.
Addingmore flavors as the years went on,
topselling is chocolate it’s their #1.
Number1 best seller, but try their signature
TurtleFudge and Mackinac Island Fudge both
originalrecipes they are proud of.
Alsotry their ice-cream in all sorts of flavors,
likeGeorgia Peach, Lake Worth, and Key Lime Pie,
I liketheir caramel apples, you should give them a try.
Eventhe milk chocolate truffles with coconut or pecan,
itmelts in your mouth, it doesn’t last very long.
Sostop by Kiliwin’s today and have a
turtleor a truffle with nuts inside,
enjoyit with some hot coffee right outside.
Written By Suzae Chevalier on November13,2011
poem by Suzae Chevalier
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The Xmas Cad'nt'Bury Tales
I wish you were a chocolate truffle with a galliano centre,
I wish, I wish, I wish you were a chocolate fudge oozing with caramel,
Your essence sends shivers down my spine,
A feast for my sences so devine.
I'm intoxicated, hypnotised, mesmeriised with your strawberry fragrance,
Whom a field of orchids could not compete,
I want to taste you,
I want to eat you.
Hurry while it's cool, away from melting moments,
Let's go to the Praline ball, I want to waltz you in my arms,
I wish, I wish, I wish.
Xmas time is nigh,
I could lose you to some greedy bod, who with timeout
To reward themself with indulgent gobbles
Punctuated with -mmmmmm!
Forget the flash
You could be gone in a chew.
What would I do?
Without you.
Come my little fudge
l et's consume each other,
Melt into my arms
From your lover boy who into a soldier grew,
With love, and remembering,
I'm a chocolate too.
poem by Ken e Hall
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Even on Cheese
I say baby...
You don't need me to love!
You may degrade to crazy,
Filling up on chocolate fudge.
I'm not a maple syrup keeper.
To feed your sticky sweet needs.
You've got that sugar spice leaking,
Pleasing even on cheese!
You don't need me to love!
You made me hate eating peas.
You've got that power inside you,
To make me crawl and plead...
'You don't need me to love! '
I'm not a maple syrup keeper.
To feed your sticky sweet needs.
You've got that sugar spice leaking,
Pleasing even on cheese!
Baby baby please leave.
And...
You don't need me to love!
You may degrade to crazy,
Filling up on chocolate fudge.
Wondering,
How to 'mess' me up!
And you don't...
No you don't,
Need me to love!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Eht Emas
There once was a place where everyone was Tan
Every woman, child, and man
Tan hair, Tan shoes, Tan skin, and Tan clothes
Why they were all Tan is something that nobody knows
For you see in this place of monotonous living un-Tan beings were unheard of
There was a very strange thing about these Tan people.
For you see the Tan people had wings but many feared to fly
A Yellow man came to this place one day
It seemed that the Yellow man was strange
His hair was not Tan and his skin was not Tan
He smiled more often and dressed funny too
His name was Alabazoo
He came from a place called Tnereffid
The Tan people were irate and filled with hate
Who did this Yellow man think he was?
As much as the Yellow man tried to be liked the Tan people would not budge
The Yellow man offered the Tan people Brownies they wanted Fudge
Though it seems some of Tan people preferred Brownies,
Some secretly wished for Fudge
They growled and they hissed until the Yellow man left
Leaving the Tan people of Lamron to their life.
The Tan people still exist but is seems that they reside only in Sdnim now.
poem by Jeanne Harmon
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Chocolate
Give me a piece of chocolate.
Let it melt in my mouth so sweet.
It's my one temptation
when it comes to something to eat.
I can go without cake or ice cream.
I can go without pudding or pies.
But when it comes to chocolate
I cannot exercise
restraint.
A Hershey bar, a Baby Ruth,
M&M's or fudge
overtakes my sense of nutrition
but still I do not judge
too harshly what I do.
I place it slowly in my mouth
and savor it as I chew.
At that moment all is fine.
It makes me feel brand new.
Now Godiva or Ghiardelli,
these I could die for.
And if I eat a chocolate truffle
I know I'll just want more.
So I try not to keep chocolate around
because what I have found
is out of sight, out of mind
and my taste buds quiet down
for a while.
poem by Edwina Reizer
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Dose of Choco
Can not hold but indulge,
heaven-taste choco fudge.
Oh so sweet and yummy,
chocolate ice cream so creamy.
On each day I love to devour,
loaves of choco bread each hour.
After each meal I want a dessert,
thought of a chocolate cake I assert;
even as diabetic, I can't wait!
poem by Marvin Brato Sr
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Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.
quote by Kurt Vonnegut
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Chocolate Experience
The day I laid my eyes on you
the very first time
was tempted to try you,
mouth salivating,
a tongue could taste you from afar
Heard alot of things about it,
that chocolate experience, the taste
Even heard about the powers,
snaped me right out of a depression,
how it intimidated me, empowered me.
All these wonderful sensations.
I had no control over,
should I watch tv, pamper myself,
go out and wish I followed my first choice
for the moment, I would feel that way
I knew what it was like without you,
loneliness would set in
hard times, pms days, bad hair days, anytime of the day, any hour
You are my Sweet Sensation
a fondue for my strawberries
White Chocolate, Dark Chocolate,
Caramel, Taffy, Fudge, Chocolate Martini,
Expresso, Coffee, Lattte to name a few
Fill me with my heart's desire
Give me my chocolate experience
and see what else it can do?
poem by Adrienne Clark Strachn
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Land of chocolate
I took a walk out of the ordinary today
i didn't work, rest, nor did i play
i walked out my front door with a wish
a wish that i could walk to a chocolate land
so i closed my eyes and imagined...
and there it was in my mind...
a fudge chocolate gate stood in front of me
i ran up to it with urgency
to my surprise the gate was locked and could not be opened
a note in white chocolate stared me in the face
it simply said in big bold itallycs
'please eat your way through the fudge gates'
and so i did...(i took a huge bite and chewed and chewed)
i bit one whole bar off this fudge gate
(and because i'm imagining it, my hunger is never satisfied
and i can not get sick, WaaHaa!)
i finished my BAR of chocolate and huddled through
I could hardly believe what lay before me
the clouds where only forty feet above the ground
and they were made from vanilla fairy floss
there was a light rain in the near distance
i ran over and cupped my hand to try some
(sip sip) it tastes like a strawberry smoothy
i looked down at the rough multi-coloured footpath
my goodness...it was a long, long rocky road
it stretched all the way over the curved horizon
so when i went to tie my loose shoelaces
i ripped a handful of rocky road and ate it(as i chew and chew)
i point my finger to the west
there are three fast flowing rivers flowing to the south
i hurry over to the first and taste....(sip sip) its Coca Cola(as fizzy as ever)
i scramble over to the next and salivate...(slirp) its thick rich chocolate milk(smooth as silk)
i hussle over toward the forth and gulp it in...(sip slirp) its a vanilla thick shake(with swimming jelly snakes) oh how unbelievably DELICIOUS!
I dance, skip and prance like a twelve year old boy
i flip about and raise my arms with an endless joy
i see a mountain just over yonda (in the near distance)
standing at the top waving his hand, wow! , its Willy Wonka
he starts rolling giant Maltesers down the slope
i grope with amazement and look at the surrounding forrest
a chocolate mousse swamp surrounded by sugar trees(with mint leaves and chocolate ball berries)
i jump into the mousse swamp and float in its thick fudge
then a chocolate crocodile surfaces with sharp white chocolate teeth and gives me a nudge
he said to me 'don't worry, in this world you can eat me' so i did! (in about three hours)
i get out of the swamp and trip on a dark rock near the edge just as i get out
the rock cracked open and out flowed smooth rich creamy caramel(so i dived onto it and devoured as much as my mouth could take)
as i get up i look forward, an abundance of roses just lay ahead
these wern't ordinary roses like in your garden bed, these were roses chocolates
each one a different flavour, a different texture, a different taste(all scrumtious)
the ground was littered with mars, snickers, twix, bounty and licorice
i look up beyond the fairy floss clouds and see millions of milky way swirling and flying above
i look all around and notice walls made of cadbury ten kilo blocks and triple choc dove
i take a step forward and trip on a log of biscuit waffers and chocolate, it says Time Out
and slowly my world melts and fades, fades and then disappears
i wake up back in the real world and i'm slouched over the letter box biting my mail
my neighbour is staring at me and says
'are you feeling OK today? '
poem by Allen Steble
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Bury Me With Chocolates
Bury me with chocolates,
The kind I love so well.
Send dark and bitter candy wreaths
With leaves of caramel.
Chocolate chip tears upon my cheeks,
White chocolate pillows filled with creams
To soothe me in my final sleep
And sweeten all my heavenly dreams.
Place one lone lovely chocolate rose
With petals curling in my hand.
Heap gold foil coins in random piles,
Egyptian-like, and oh so grand.
Please do not toast me with champagne,
A rich hot chocolate will do,
Laced with a touch of cinnamon
And then perhaps marshmallows too.
But if you plan a conflagration
To send me warmly to my rest,
Do not forget I’ve always loved
A sticky, hot fudge Sundae best.
poem by Raynette Eitel
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A Candy Kiss
A candy kiss so very sweet,
Like peppermint covered candy sticks.
Like chocolate covered cherry treats,
Swirling around inside your cheeks.
A candy kiss, just pure delight,
That leaves a taste of sugar on your lips.
Or that very special kiss good night,
Like pixie stix in tiny sips.
A candy kiss, like butter scotch,
Pure ecstasy that makes you drool.
Or like a homemade piece of fudge,
That you couldn't leave to cool.
Candy kisses so sweet and fine,
Can't get them at the candy shop.
But you will crave them all the time,
And hope to God they never stop.
9/28/10 Alton Texas
poem by Juan Olivarez
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No Limerick?
A poem presenting with rhyme
and which follows a rhythm in time
need not be what we call
a true Limerick at all
like a lemon, the cousin of lime.
Yet a limerick a lemon can be,
you could use a small slice for your tea.
Do not use it in fudge
and respect that the judge
is the man with no writing degree.
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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Augustus Gloop! Augustus Gloop
'Augustus Gloop! Augustus Gloop!
The great big greedy nincompoop!
How long could we allow this beast
To gorge and guzzle, feed and feast
On everything he wanted to?
Great Scott! It simply wouldn't do!
However long this pig might live,
We're positive he'd never give
Even the smallest bit of fun
Or happiness to anyone.
So what we do in cases such
As this, we use the gentle touch,
And carefully we take the brat
And turn him into something that
Will give great pleasure to us all–
A doll, for instance, or a ball,
Or marbles or a rocking horse.
But this revolting boy, of course,
Was so unutterably vile,
So greedy, foul, and infantile
He left a most disgusting taste
Inside our mouths, and so in haste
We chose a thing that, come what may,
Would take the nasty taste away.
'Come on!' we cried, 'The time is ripe
To send him shooting up the pipe!
He has to go! It has to be!'
And very soon, he's going to see
Inside the room to which he's gone
Some funny things are going on.
But don't, dear children, be alarmed;
Augustus Gloop will not be harmed,
Although, of course, we must admit
He will be altered quite a bit.
He'll be quite changed from what he's been,
When he goes through the fudge machine:
Slowly, the wheels go round and round,
The cogs begin to grind and pound;
A hundred knives go slice, slice, slice;
We add some sugar, cream, and spice;
We boil him for a minute more,
Until we're absolutely sure
That all the greed and all the gall
Is boiled away for once and all.
Then out he comes! And now! By grace!
A miracle has taken place!
This boy, who only just before
Was loathed by men from shore to shore,
This greedy brute, this louse's ear,
Is loved by people everywhere!
For who could hate or bear a grudge
Against a luscious bit of fudge?'
poem by Roald Dahl
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Order in the animal kingdom
Have you ever heard of a sheep-
that was a police officer?
arresting a lone wolf
for committing a murder
have you ever heard of a cow
that was a judge?
sentencing a pig
for stealing chocolate fudge
have you ever heard of an eagle-
that was a president?
flying above his subjects
watching over his residents
have you ever heard of a lion-
that was a wise king?
sitting on his majestic throne
looking after his surroundings
have you ever heard of a gorilla-
that was a government official?
serving for the common order
of the animal kingdom
have you ever heard of a monkey-
that was a published author?
writting in the news column
about this prevailing disorder
i've never seen any of that
thats why i say theres no order-
in the animal world,
and yet
they seem to have more order
than us humans...
ironic really
poem by Allen Steble
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The Trove at Bioda Mor
The last I saw of Sebastian Fudge
He was dancing the hempen jig,
To pay for the years of pirating
At the side of Captain Kidd.
While Kidd was swung at Tilbury,
Was dipped in a coat of tar,
Then hung in chains by the River Thames
As a sign to the faint of heart!
I'd sailed with Fudge on the Emerald,
In the days when men were bold,
And there wasn't a Frenchman privateer
That we couldn't divest of gold,
I thought of the Spanish throats we'd cut
And the nights of rum and hock,
As Fudge went tripping his final jig
At Execution Dock.
That left just me and Jackie Straw,
Midshipman Bowes, and Penn,
The last of the Jolly Roger crew
Of the ships we'd sailed back then,
So we met at the back of Polly's place,
The One-Eyed Tar that night,
And drank to the soul of Fudge, and drank!
We drank to the broad daylight!
And Polly had joined us there at dawn
The tears still on her face,
She'd been with Fudge, his faithful Moll,
As he swung with little grace:
'He scribbled a map for me, ' she said,
'I've kept it safely hid,
We could have collected the treasure trove
If he hadn't sailed with Kidd! '
'Belay that, let us see the map! '
Said Straw, his eyes ablaze,
And I caught a glimpse of his cutlass raised
In the raiding party days,
But 'Aye', said Penn, 'there's gold enough
And a chest of jewels each,
If we follow the trail of the castaways,
And the gold of Captain Teach! '
'You and your Caribbean gold,
I have no mind for that,
Rather a treasure close at hand,
It's marked on Fudge's map! '
Polly drew out a parchment then
A map of Scotland's shore,
The wreck of the Magdalena marked
By the cliffs at Bioda Mor.
'It's there, in the Outer Hebrides,
An Island known as Dun,
The Galleon sailed beneath an arch,
An arch of solid stone!
The masts then brought it crashing down
It crippled the Magdalena,
They drifted on to Bioda Mor
With no-one there to save her! '
We set our sails for the Hebrides
In a sloop, Jack Straw and Bowes,
And Polly, lodged in the cabin below
With a pile of women's clothes,
While Penn was up in the Crows Nest,
Skin tight with a quart of rum,
To keep the cold from his aging bones
On watch for the Isle of Dun.
The morning saw the cliffs rear up
And scrape the greying sky,
I'd never seen cliffs as high as this,
'And nor, ' said Straw, 'have I! '
The waves swept in to a pebbled beach
From a swell of twenty feet,
'We'll never land in a longboat there,
That landing's out of reach! '
Polly attached herself to Bowes
While Straw looked on in hate,
He's fancied his chance with Fudge's Moll
But she'd gone with Fudge's mate,
She told me once in a whisper there
That she didn't trust Jack Straw,
And Penn was a little too close to him,
She kept a gun in her drawer.
I watched them all, I knew too well
What greed could do to a crew,
I'd seen with the best of shipboard mates
What a handful of gold could do,
So I kept myself to myself as we
Sailed round to the other shore,
And landed there on the leeward side,
Across from Bioda Mor.
We trudged around by the coast, the cliffs
Were far too high to scale,
It took us the rest of the day, I saw
That Polly was looking pale,
She wanted to quit, and rest awhile,
But Straw kept pushing along,
And Bowes brought up in the rear, I knew
He was carrying Polly's gun!
The wind came up, the breakers crashed,
We kept close by the cliff,
The beach was a solid shingle there
With piles of kelp, and drift,
We came to the mouth of a hidden cave
And sought the quiet depths,
The sea swept in as the tide had turned
And it made us catch our breath.
Inside the cave was a pile of gold
That covered the rocky floor,
And everywhere was the glint of gems,
Of diamonds, rubies, more...
I saw the glittering eyes of Straw
As he scooped the gold moidores,
'There's gold enough for everyone! '
'Not so! ' said Mr. Bowes.
He'd pulled the gun, and covered us
As I knew he would, I guess,
And Polly stooped as she gathered up
The coins in her flowing dress,
'There's only two will be leaving here
Alive, ' she said, 'and free! '
'Who'll be the first to die, ' she said,
And Bowes had looked at me!
I took the cup and I threw the dice,
They fell to a handy deuce,
'That puts me behind a rock, and safe, '
I laughed: 'I've cooked your goose! '
Then Sandra's Mum marched in and said:
'Okay, you lot, it's time...'
For she was only eleven then,
And the rest of us were nine!
We groaned, but packed the counters up,
Took one last look at the board,
'I would have snatched the gun, I think, '
Said Bill, who'd played Jack Straw.
'I would have shot you first, ' said Joe,
We shivered there in the cold,
And folded the board, regretfully,
Of the game called 'Spanish Gold! '
6 August 2010
poem by David Lewis Paget
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My Candy Dreams
As I close my eyes
I dream of a land,
Where everything is sweet
With coloured sherbet sand.
Filled with flavoured milk
The ponds, the rivers, the sea,
Strawberry, chocolate, banana
Vanilla and raspberry.
The clouds are cotton candy
The stars are toffee fudge
And when you see the Bassett tree,
There’s temptation to give a little nudge.
Flowers are made of candy cane,
The petals so soft and nice.
Deep within the biscuit house
To find some chocolate mice.
More than you can imagine
Marshmallows in the bath,
Coffee flavoured stones,
Lay upon the path.
Sitting in the hen house
Lays all the Cadburys cream,
And all of this exists
In my sweet candy dreams
©Copyright Anna Andrews 2010
poem by Anna Andrews
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A Smudging To Fudge Up
To convince one's presence,
Has become less influencial...
A smudging to fudge up the statistics occurs.
To entice those who may follow to listen,
But less encouraged by an expression of said words...
Deemed unsuitable to those who wish to present,
A point of view to confuse and not cement...
A comprehension some may discover makes much sense.
And having minds connected with common sense,
Isn't advantageous when some undercover wish to perfect...
A doing of their best to reduce and smother the existence of truth!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Those Creams
Clotted and sour, whipped and double,
All delicious when laid on the tongue,
One could find oneself in deep trouble,
It's hard, keeping the figure young.
They melt with so much pleasure,
When you deem to taste their charm,
And if you're sampling them at leisure,
They can do you a lot of harm.
Inches creep onto your waistline,
And without warning, before very long,
Your poor body becomes less divine,
And your willpower, becomes less strong.
The flavoured ones, they are so yummy,
Nutty mixtures, with chocolate and fudge,
But they're no good at all for your tummy,
And will not help those inches to budge.
Those creams call out, waiting to tempt you,
And so you really just have to resist,
You should try out the 'Weight Watchers' menu,
Now then girls, do you follow the gist?
poem by Ernestine Northover
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