Groundhog Day 1 'The Legend of Punxsutawney Phil
Punxsutawney Phil, yes that's his name,
Predicting the weather is his game;
Phil knows how to call it, so rest your fears,
He's done it for a hundred n' twenty years.
They say that he's a loner, maybe a snob,
He hails from a place called 'Gobbler's Knob; '
He lives in a cave, and will never roam,
Except when he travels in his motor home.
All over the world, he's one of a kind,
Though imitators are never hard to find;
Punxsutawney's also a real heart breaker,
For the girls all love a weather maker.
He's quite a celebrity, you might say,
Even has his own 'Punxsutawney Day; '
He has a web site and fan club too,
Personal trainers, and a make-up crew.
He's had his breaks with TV and radio,
Even made an appearance on Oprah's show;
Yearly his town has a parade in his name,
Seems for Phil, there's no end to his fame.
He made his first forecast, or so they say,
In 1887, February's second day.
You might wonder, how Phil could live so long,
He drinks 'elixir of life' and takes it strong.
He speaks a strange language, but only to the ear,
Of the 'Circle' president, who's standing near;
He predicts the weather, that six weeks will bring,
Guiding us from the winter, up to spring.
He uses his shadow, that's how he knows,
Keeping us posted on upcoming snows;
He's 100 percent accurate, as records reveal,
Punxsutawney Phil, now he's the real deal!
So, if you plan to travel, through Pennsylvania land,
Why not visit this legend, and shake his hand?
But before you complete your travel log,
Check with Punxsutawney Phil, the weather groundhog.
HAPPY GROUNDHOG DAY!
poem by Loyd C. Taylor
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Hickory Phil
In the land where the eagle flies over the dollar bill
Way back when the liberty tree was new
In a town by the sea
lived a man named Hickory Phil
A poet of much renowned was he
With his lustful tales of life and love
And haunting sea chanteys
And a dirty little limerick to give his fans a thrill
One day a judge came to see Hickory Phil
In that town by the sea
” Phil, sit and listen to me”
Phil sat and gave an ear
In that town by the sea
You must give up your lusty tales of life and love
And instead pray to the Lord above
For if you do not then I fear
You will no longer live in this town by the sea
Old Phil a clever man was he
To the judge he turned to speak
In that town by the sea
And spoke something quite unique
Dear God on high above
Please tell me of the girl I love
Please answer this one simple request
about her soft breasts
That I just want to get hold of
©JPM 2/25/10
Groundhog Day
February 2nd, a rodent’s inane holiday
To predict whether Spring is near or far away
Rooted in Candlemas tradition
The groundhog was a later addition
“For as the sun shines on Candlemas Day
* “So far will the snow swirl until May”
People flock to Gobbler’s Knob
To see the marmot do his job
A woodchuck named Punxsutawny Phil
Sees his shadow and we get a bitter pill
Six weeks of winter, still
But if he sees skies cloudy and gray
Spring is only 42 days away.
* quoted from a German couplet; author unknown
poem by Nancy Chambers
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When Peter Gabriel left, we obviously lost a very strong stage performer. Phil hasn't replaced him; Phil's done a different thing.
quote by Mike Rutherford
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Old Town Types No. 6 - Flash Phil
Still I've the picture of him - Flash Phil Galloway;
In a shining dog-cart driving down the road;
Spanking ponies dashing by,
Running tandem, stepping high;
Silver-plated harness where the sunlight glowed.
Everybody waved to him - Kind Phil Galloway
Bright eye, curling hair, big blond moustache.
No man, in those feckless days,
Thought to curb his reckless ways:
'Right man for the district, sir; tho' just a trifle rash.'
Flash Phil Galloway owned a station property
Left him by his father, back in sixty-nine;
Owned a stretch of sheepland, too,
Left him by his Uncle Lou;
Owned his mother's big estate along the Ballantyne
Three tidy fortunes: and Phil upon a race day
Standing for a luncheon - frills and fancy grub.
'Champagne and caviar,
Every toff a big cigar,
All the tucker packed in ice! Oysters in a tub!'
Flash Phil Galloway, loaded down with mortgages,
Deep in mining ventures 'to make another rise.'
Debonair and reckless still
Generous - the same old Phil,
While kindly bankers were ready with supplies.
Bluff Phil Galloway chatting with the manager:
'Where do I sign this one? Read it? Haw, what rot!'
The banker, as he folds the deed:
'And how much, this time, will you need?'
Laughs Flash Phil Galloway, 'Gad! How much have you got?'
Old Phil Galloway, grey haired and garrulous,
Stopping old acquaintances along the city ways,
Hanging round the leading pub
Lounging by the Squatters' Club
Half-crowns changing hands 'for sake of olden days . . . .'
But I keep my picture of him - Flash Phil Galloway
In a shining dog-cart - I can see him still:
Spanking ponies dashing by,
Running tandem, stepping high;
Silver plated harness - 'Hey! Happy days, Phil!'
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
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The Paws That Refreshes
THE PAWS THAT REFRESHES
Edward Iacona
'I just love coming home to my Phil, '
She said, 'He waits for me at the door
'He wraps his arms around my neck
How could I ever be loved more? '
'He nuzzles me all over my face
He kisses and then nibbles my chin.
His affection will lift my spirit
No matter the poor mood I'm in.'
Is this what I really want to hear
While I'm trying to charm her in chat?
Then she finally reveals to me
She's talking about her beloved cat.
It's good to know that she likes affection.
Now my tactile senses are no longer flat.
And within my vivid imagination I think
She and I should try doing all that.
But I give some thought to how Phil acts
And there may be some things I'm forgettin'
If there's anything to re-incarnation there's links
To the Kabbalah or something Tibetan.
Now, I may not be completely correct
But such teachings may explain why.
Although her Phil is a feline right now
He may have once have been a guy.
Oh, what could poor Phil make of this
As he watches us passionately embrace and kiss?
Would his little cat mind still reminisce
About once being human and enjoying such bliss.
But for this cat some things have gone amiss
He offers up his opinion and he is not remiss.
Phil stomps away from this scene to dismiss
With a low growl and an audible hiss.
poem by Edward Iacona
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040810i First Day In Augusta
fred is just awesome on green
phil, ye. kj lee, did the same
tiger is double eagle on fives
almost three; miss by a lip
tom is golf wonder at sixty plus
who'll win that remains to be seen
weather so generous to hitters
soft breeze to leaded clouds
fairway is immaculate; green
is exemplary beautiful; gallery
are very nice; trees are great
very warm welcome to tiger
***
fred couples
tom watson
phil mickelson
lee westwood
k.j. choi
y.e. yang
tiger woods
...none of the above would
win it just a hunch.
poem by Manonton Dalan
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Dr. Phil was very helpful and caring. I believe he helped all of us there and watching how to better relate, understand, and communicate with our families and loved ones. Dr. Phil recommended reading my new book.
quote by Louie Anderson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tina – Big City Grill
Beside Harmon Meadows,
Opposite the Hamptons,
At the Meadowlands
Lies Phil’s Place –
Big City Grill
Great food, great service
And visit by Phil
But,
The best sight of the Night
belongs to Tina.
With beauty ascribed,
A smile that lights up
the atmosphere,
A sense of humor,
And a rare gentleness
that is bestowed on few
poem by Oyekake Satty Joshua
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Phil Osopher
A certain Mister Osopher
Thought life was oh so grand,
Till something tragic did occur
Beyond what Phil had planned!
And all at once his jaw fell down
At what he saw that day
And from then on, Phil wore a frown,
Till God took it away...
Although God knew the reasons why
Life's not a piece of cake,
This man became so prone to sigh,
His soul began to ache...
Then came the ulcer, then the pain,
The irritant within...
This caused the man increasing strain,
He felt he couldn't win...
One day, Phil read a Bible verse,
'Cast all your cares on Him...'
By faith, he prayed God end the curse
And fill him to the brim...
That day, his frown began to fade,
His worry lines soon went,
His mirror showed him undismayed,
As if God was his friend...
His ulcer vanished, he relaxed,
Content to trust the Lord,
So that he felt no longer taxed,
Now God's grace was outpoured...
He preached the Word from that time on,
With stories from his life,
Of how God's light meant darkness gone,
Regardless of Man's strife.
That's why when Nature's might unfolds,
Man builds new homes again,
For once each man God's love beholds,
There's faith beyond our ken...
The centuries have proved this true,
No matter how we feel...
When Phil finds time to speak with you,
You'll see his faith is real...
poem by Denis Martindale
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Superman: Red Son
Jason Isaacs (voice), Diedrich Bader (voice), Amy Acker (voice), Tara Strong (voice), Phil Morris (voice), Paul Williams (voice), Phil LaMarr (voice), Vanessa Marshall (voice), Roger Craig Smith (voice), Sasha Roiz (voice)
by J.M. DeMatteis from Superman: Red Son (2020)
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Philthy Phil Philantropist
Theres something wrong with mass consumption
Why do we want what we dont need
Alcohol burnt clean asphalt methampphetamin
Will make it seem alright its gonna make it seem alright
Living in the hunger underground
Some people say I got a problem with authority so
What if I do man it beats relinquished control
Philthy phil philantropist
You were take when you should be given away
More than we cannot repay
Theres something grand about being nothing
Theres something lame about being grand
Alcohol squirtin gun dont want no holidays in these
Thats me not bein you, thats just me not bein you
Either part of the solution or the problem
Can there not be a middle ground for just the anybody
Replace superman with joe the ordinary
Philthy phil philanderer
Youve takedn when you shoulda give away
Filthy phil you gave to us
More than we cannot repay
song performed by by NOFX
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Philthy Phil Philanthropist
Theres something wrong with mass consumption why do
We want what we dont need alcohol burn it clean asphalt
Methamphetamine will make it seem alright, its gonna make
It seem alright living in the hunger underground some people
Say I got a problem with authority so what if I do man, it beats
Relinquishing control philthy phil philanthropist rule taken when
You should of give away philthy phil you gave to us more than
We cannot repay theres something grand about being nothing
Theres something lame about being grand alcohol squirting gun
Dont want no holiday in the sun thats me not bein you, thats just
Me not bein either part of the solution or the problem replace
Superman with joe ordinary youve taken when you shoulda
Give away filthy phil you gave to us more that we cannot repay
song performed by by NOFX
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I really wish we could stay longer in the countries we visit, but I've been lucky to have visited most of them before, because I've done a tremendous amount of travel.
quote by Phil Keoghan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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On the day of the show, I sit down with someone that speaks very good English and someone who speaks the local language very well and work out what I'm going to say.
quote by Phil Collins
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Another Restless Dream
Started off at a house were I was outside with Jachin. It was Halloween and my family was at a Halloween event. I had a new phone and was takin a ton of pictures. Jachin started talking to me and the Preston and Phil showed up. The sun was going down and we all got in Phil's SUV. And he was driving crazy and Preston was in the back seat with me and he started asking me if I had read any cool end of the world books. He told me about one him and Phil read. Both of their eyes were red they were high. We stopped at a parking lot and I got out. They started to drive away and I jumped on the car door and hung on while they drove.then suddenly We were all walking and the sun went down. Mireya was with us. We went to a parking lot. We're her ex was going to fight another kid. The other kid was fat. I walked towards her ex and tried talking to him but he was a jerk and I ended up cussing him out as I walked away I passed the other keep put my hand on his shoulder and told him to kick his ass homez. They fought. Then in the corner of my eye I saw a teacher holding a tranquilizer rifle aiming at the dudes.I ran into a little ally were a big fence was, everybody was already on the other side. So I started climbing it and Mireya was helping. I finally jumped over and we all started running but the teacher grabbed Mireya's arm through the fence, I ran back and pulled her free. We ran and Mireya's pants got torn she wasn't wearing any, so we went to her house. An apartment were these zig zag stairs went up three floors, she lived on the top with her mom. You could hear her mom screaming at her'why are you always late to come home? You come home only to change then you leave again at 2 in the morning, what time is it.'As Mireya walks out slamming the door and running down the stairs her mom keeps screaming what Time is it. It's dark me Mireya Phil and Preston hang under a nearby street lamp. There's a bench but Phil and Preston are kneeling on the ground. I'm standing close to Mireya who has a new outfit on and is laying on the bench. I'm looking at Mireya as they ask what she's going to do when the world end. She says she was born in Mexico and shes going to be where she was born to die. She said yup that was her plan, she looked at me, and Phil asks me what my plans for the end of the world are. I say I honestly don't know.. Then say I'll probably be in Mexico partying with Mireya. We all laugh and talk about how the party would last a week. The were quiet and Mireya looks at me and say taco taco burrito burrito. Then I sing that song from South Park. And I wake up.
poem by Jeremy Rascon
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Curb Your Inner Larry
When humor is combined with inconsideration,
as it so often is in “Curb
Enthusiasm, ” men are like a hostile nation,
Arabs versus Jews and Serb
against the Croat. If you’re trying to be funny,
suppress your cruel proclivity
to sound embittered. Sweeten words like honey
to show your sensitivity.
Ignore the fact that being rude is lots of fun. Your hon-
esty is not a Stradivari
which people might enjoy to hear you playing on,
so always curb your inner Larry.
Martin Miller writes about the reunion of Larry David with the cast o the Seinfelds on a forthcoming episode of “Curb Your Enthusiasm (LA Times, October 3,2009) : :
He knows he has issues. When asked about Dr. Phil's brief appearance on 'Curb's' second episode this season, he declares: 'I like him. I would definitely go to Dr. Phil if I could. You know what? I'm putting this out there right now that if he would take me, I'm going. Does he still have patients? I don't know if my problems are big enough for what he's used to.' A more immediate problem surfaces, and Dr. Phil is nowhere in sight. Larry spots something in his salad.”Is that a scallion? ' he frowns. 'I've got a date tonight.'
When informed he's probably one of the most eligible bachelors in town, he laughs. 'I wouldn't go that far, ' he said. You're rich, you're famous - you got a great sense of humor. 'Women don't like the humor when it's combined with inconsideration and insensitivity, ' he corrects. In real life, to some, his actions may be taken for inconsideration and insensitivity, but in the world of 'Curb' it's always hilarious and, to Larry, completely authentic. 'This show is the only chance that I have to be honest about anything, ' Larry said. 'Your life generally is so dishonest. Your dealings with your fellow human beings are so dishonest, everything is so dishonest, to have this opportunity to be honest is very refreshing to me.' Later, in the parking lot, the farewells are said. No handshake. 'Yeah, this was fun, ' Larry said
10/3/09
poem by Gershon Hepner
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YOU NEED TO BE INSTITUTIONALIZED.....by Talile Ali
I'M AN AUDITORY DYSLEXIC
THAT MEANS I HEAR THINGS WRONG
I ASK FOLKS TO REPEAT THINGS
SO THAT WE CAN GET A LONG
PROBLEM IS MY WIFE
WILL NOT ACCEPT AT ALL
THE FACT THAT I DOM'T GET IT
AND WAITS FOR ME TO FALL
YOU NEED TO BE INSTITUTIONALIZED BABE
IS WHAT SHE SAY'S TO ME
YOU NEED TO BE INSTITUTIONALIZED BABE
AS SHE WATCHES DR. PHIL ON TV
ITS BEEN LIKE THIS FOR DECADES
SHE REFUSES TO EVEN TRY
TO REPEAT THINGS WHEN I'M FUZZY
SHE THINKS ITS ALL A LIE
SHE RATHER SCREAM 'YOU'RE LYIN'
AND CALL AND YELL AND FIGHT
YOU KEEP ON TRYIN BABY
IT WON'T BE ME TONIGHT
YOU NEED TO BE INSTITUTIONALIZED BABE
IS WHAT SHE SAY'S TO ME
YOU NEED TO BE INSTITUTIONALIZED BABE
AS SHE WATCHES DR. PHIL ON TV
poem by Talile Ali
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Why Don't We Live Together
By: Peter Thom and Phil Galdston
Why don't we live together
Only the two of us, we'll learn to trust
Don't have to say forever
'Cause we know the rain could start and break our hearts
But we'll never find the future if we hesitate
We'll spend our life waiting
Why don't we live together taking it day by day we'll find a way
To build us a dream that's better
And still have our wings to fly if love should die
Can't spend our life rehearsing all these lines of love
It's time to raise the curtain
Why don't we live together whether loves lives or dies
At least we know we tried
We've both been burned before
But now we know this love is sure
And there'll be no more sorrow
This love is burnin' bright it lights up tommorrow
Why don't we live together takin' life's rocky ride
Side by side
Sailin' thru stormy weather
Searchin' for sunny skies with open eyes
Sharin' the tears and the laughter is the only way
We'll find the love we're after
Why don't we live together
Whether love lives or dies at least we'll know we tried
song performed by by Barry Manilow
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I find celebrity status difficult to bear when I am in the company of my mother.
quote by Phil Donahue
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Oprah is more than an institution. Oprah is a very special star in the firmament. I can't imagine a greater success than she's enjoyed.
quote by Phil Donahue
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