Gasping
You can howl
you can wish
you can gasp like a fish,
as most oldsters would show
you how little things grow.
And your ticker?
We snicker
do you get PVC's?
When the ceiling lights flicker
and you're busting to pee
it is you who departs
to a concert of farts.
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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Related quotes
A Howl of the Night
A howl can be herd in the night as the snow falls
A howl can run through and enter the soul of
The wolf who's heart is as pure as the grain
A howl shall show no mercy and shall either hunt you
Or guide you, It will be strong and hard -the howl of the night.
The howl shall come from the spirit of the strongest,
The bravest and the boldest.
It will not be weak, as the wind carries the howl farther
To the Pack, all will awaken and cry with
The howl of the night.
poem by Rebecca Seetahal
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Silly; Gross: Fart!
Having just exclaimed 'what can I write about? ' I heard a muffled noise,
...followed by a pungent cheesy smell which FEW of your ilk enjoys.
Now farts have gotten a bad reputation....along with burps and belches.
In our society they are THINGS...which a more 'polite' person often squelches.
And I'd say I'm one of the 'more polite'...in my normal daily life; that is except when I'm alone...with my loving, understanding WIFE.
Why even my wife farts on rare occasions.....Don't let her know I've told.
But she generally does it behind a CLOSED door. Unlike me, …she's not so bold.
So 'FART' is what I'll write about tonight, .... stretched out in this chair.
You'll excuse me please if I let one loose...though it MAY foul the air.
Farts come in at least four varieties. I'm sure you all know THAT.
I could break it down to sub-varieties, but I'll KEEP those in my hat.
First there are farts that are quiet and smelly. Not my cup of tea.
At least one should make some noise....so others won't HAVE TO SAY 'not ME'.
Then there are those quiet but NOT smelly; I think women mostly do those.
They give off nothing obnoxious….. to offend your ears or nose.
There are noisy farts that are also smelly. Some would say they're WORST OF ALL.
There are noisy farts that are NOT smelly, ...some like a bugle call.
I've heard of 'farting posts'....used in competitions, ....and
I've heard of using cigarette lighters...to ignite fart emissions.
I've been around dogs that fart and I guess some cows do too.
Probably lots of species fart (now and then) ...not just a FEW.
I believe what's behind all farts...is simply what we.....eat.
If you eat too much or the 'wrong thing'....you MAY be blown....OFF your feet.
Personally that's never happened to me. I'm not lying; ....it's really TRUE.
No 'Captain Ahab' has ever said of me: 'My god! There he blew! '
poem by Bri Edwards
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Hard On The Ticker
I gave up a min of cheese
To dominos delivery
Whiskey sours
Apple pies
Finger-lickin chicken fried
Are gastronomic history
I used to like them scary shows
But I gave em up a while ago
Dont do no dip-defyin
Rollercoster ridin
Now days I just take it slow
Every since we started datin
I been compensantin
To keep from gettin up
To hell any quicker
cause
Chorus:
Shes hard on the ticker
Hard on the ticker
The girl is such a hazard that she oughta have a sticker
Sayin hard on the ticker
Now, when she wiggles through my door
My chin gets heavy
Hits the floor
Silky hair
Garnet lips
Swingin double-jointed lips
My blood begins to roar
And when she nibbles on me ear
Its partly pleasure, partly dear
Little dab is all it takes
To get my heart a palpatatin
Fellin like the end is near
I oughta get a policy
A double indemity
Itd make my beneficiary
A whole lot richer
cause
(repeat chorus)
Thats my girl
Yeah, shes hard on the ticker
I oughta get a policy
A double indemity
Itd make my benificiary
A whole lot richer----
(repeat chorus)
Oh, shes hard on the ticker
Shes hard on the ticker
Hey, shes hard on the ticker
song performed by by Tim McGraw
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ode To John
Ode To John
You can have your fancy restaurants
Nightclubs and downtown haunts
He'd rather find a place to camp
If it's not too cold and damp
He'd rather scorch a can of beans
Than get a meal by other means
Just get the coals red and hot
He'll cook whatever he's got
He'd rather view a starlit sky
With shoreline lights gliding by
Then gaze upon the city lights
And all the other urban sights
No shiny shoes, no stylish suits
He's quite content in his canoe
No motor for the stream or lakes
Some paddle strokes is all it takes
A tugging fish upon his hook
Explaining it would take a book
Such fun does seem a crime
Until you try it just one time
And when his days work is done at last
They'll be no midnight party blast
He'll simply head off quite content
To sleeping bag or cozy tent
No modern tunes to help him sleep
Tranquility in camp he'll keep
Better to hear the hoot or howl
The serenade of a loon or owl
The city life may be right for you
He'll take a camper with a view
Keep your noisy city streets
Broadway show and front row seats
He'll take the simple life complete
Sometimes even wet and smelly feet
At camp he'll brave the dirt and bugs
Haul firewood and water jugs
You think camping's not ideal
Still not convinced of it's appeal
Poke fun at him if you wish
John's content to just
FISH FISH FISH
Jim 2008
poem by James Casey
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Grow
Grow.
Difficult it is.
And in the doing,
It is magical too.
If you,
Allow yourself to grow.
And not gloat upon your sensitivities.
With emotions on your sleeve to show.
Slow and determine,
To acquire knowledge.
And not upon it sit.
Become more inquisitive...
About life as it exists.
Don't permit,
Given criticisms to stop your quest.
The more that is learned,
The more of them...
May just manifest.
Grow.
It will become easy to be embittered,
By all that appears stagnant.
But a patience that develops,
Will within you begin to navigate...
Over obstacles and things that irritate.
You can and will,
Grow.
Show it with defined purpose.
Grow.
Don't fear ignorance.
Grow.
Overcome it like hopping a fence.
You can and will,
Grow.
Don't sit and bemoan your fate.
Grow.
Ignorance is not bliss.
Grow,
Ignorance can twist,
An unconscious mind into bits!
You can and will,
Grow.
Like a flower that blooms.
And reaches towards the sky.
Grow.
Do not deny it as life passes you by!
Grow.
Learn to fly and soar!
You can and will,
Grow.
Make opportunities for yourself,
And unlock...
All of those locked up doors,
You allowed to close before.
You can and will,
Grow.
Difficult it is.
Grow.
And in the doing.
Grow.
You can and will,
Grow.
It is magical too.
Grow.
If you decide to...
Grow.
Grow.
Grow.
Allow yourself to grow.
And not gloat upon your sensitivities.
With emotions on your sleeve to show.
You can and will,
Grow!
And let that be your mission.
Grow.
Knowing it is your ammunition.
Grow.
You can and will,
Grow.
Grow.
Grow!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Ozzy Osborne
Ozzy was in Black Sabbath at the concert I saw,
he put on a show that in the raw.
Flying black bat at Ozzy's show
stage alit, lights aglow.
Ozzy's eyes stare at bat,
Ozzy decides to munch on that.
Then Ozzy sings at the top of his lungs.
It was a great show I had a lot of fun.
Lighter lit up everywhere,
pot smoke lingered in the air.
Everyone high and feeling fine,
I left my chair and went to see Ozzy closer this time.
This was a great show, very sublime.
poem by Suzae Chevalier
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Things Ain't Workin' Out Down At The Farm (version 1)
Things Ain't Working Out Down At The Farm (Lynott)
-----------------------------------------
There goes Moses carrying his bible book
Never has a problem, just has a cup
It's good clean alcohol and it fills you up
And here I go laughing like a fool, yeah
Things ain't working out down at the farm
Got no bag or baggage or love to keep me warm
And I ain't been in trouble since the day I was born
Things ain't working out down at the farm
I used to spend my sunny days supping aways
Along came Gogarty and he put me away
Down at the station was kept for strays
And I went laughing, geez he like busting me, he liked busting me
He caught me unawares and he made me strip naked
Oh I was scared, oh I was scared, I was shaking
And he said
It's you and me
And me and you
And me and me
And you and you
And me and me
And I just kept laughing like a fool, yeah
Things ain't working out down at the farm
song performed by by Thin Lizzy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Loneliness Of A Fisherman Of Ideas....
you fish at night
the moon is fading
it is when the night
is so dark
that you see the realities
of fish
squids having neon lights
around its body
a school of fish
appears like a diamond
city
you fish alone
in the deepest part of the ocean
where all the stars
have all gone into hiding
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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A New Footnote To Howl
Howl for the dollar suckers, the shake amarni makers
Howl for the rolex souls with their calls to Frankfurt
Howl for the poets who quote in Italian who don`t know how to laugh
Howl for the ice children waiting for buses
Howl for the mobiles with cheap words full of soap
Howl for sons who drive to funerals in cabrios
Howl for the droners who giggle when killing
Howl for moons falling into beer-sodden parks
Howl for kid angels sorting junk in the morning
Howl for gods who wear pictures on their arms
Howl for bombers chasing whores in the sky
Howl for the motherless kissing tins in supermarkets
Howl for the acid faced brides of a lost country
Howl for the pissers, the quick fixers and the holy drinkers
praying on pavements.
Holy occupy holy resistance holy lennon holy allen holy
ernesto and all the prophets who know that
everybody is truth, let them be blessed for
the hard days to come. moving.
poem by Leslie Philibert
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An Answer, Please!
I lay down on my bed, facing the ceiling.
My thoughts are dealing
with problems, floating free,
but still part of me.
What's to do!
Must think things through
and make some decisions,
as there are collisions
within my brain.
It's so inane!
An answer, please,
something to ease
the hurting in my head.
So here on my bed,
I face the ceiling
with such a reeling, feeling.
But what is that?
Oh, drat!
The paper on my ceiling
is PEELING!
poem by Ernestine Northover
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Things Aint Working Out Down At The Farm
There goes moses carrying his Bible book
Never has a problem, just has a cup
Its good clean alcohol and it fills you up
And here I go laughing like a fool, yeah
Things aint working out down at the farm
Got no bag or baggage or love to keep me warm
And I aint been in trouble since the day I was born
Things aint working out down at the farm
I used to spend my sunny days supping aways
Along came gogarty and he put me away
Down at the station was kept for strays
And I went laughing, geez he like busting me, he liked busting me
He caught me unawares and he made me strip naked
Oh I was scared, oh I was scared, I was shaking
And he said
Its you and me
And me and you
And me and me
And you and you
And me and me
And I just kept laughing like a fool, yeah
Things aint working out down at the farm
song performed by by Thin Lizzy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tv Show
Too much anger trapped inside
Its so hard to let it go
Hope is fading
Im tired of waiting
And Im moving much too slow
The stars above Im cursing
And it still seems Im rehearsing
But the cameras have been
Rolling all the while
This storys getting boring
And the spectators are snoring
I suggest you turn the dial
Life is a tv show
Shouldve been canceled long ago
Life is a tv show
Shouldve been canceled long ago
Life is a tv show
Life is a tv show
Life is a tv show
Shouldve been canceled long ago
I saw a headline in the paper
Of another ticker taper
For a war which has barely just begun
Well be waving our flag silly
As were chopped into piccalilli
And thats not my idea of fun
Life is a tv show
Shouldve been canceled long ago
Life is a tv show
Shouldve been canceled long ago
Life is a tv show
Life is a tv show
Life is a tv show
Shouldve been canceled long ago
song performed by by Phish
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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At a rock music concert
The howl of the magic guitar
brings me intense pleasure
and he is stroking string after string
while he walks his tripping step,
dancing along in a school uniform,
bringing me intense pleasure
as if I am also filled with the magic
and feelings wash over me
while he dances along in a school uniform
and it is as if the music fills my whole being
the whining, the clear sound
and feelings wash over me
while he gets pleasure out of it
enchants me and I know that this concert is uniquely great
the whining, the clear sound
surpasses all previous experiences by far.
The howl of the magic guitar
enchants me and I know that this concert is uniquely great
and he is stroking string after string.
poem by Gert Strydom
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31
A fish that drinks like a fish, that is a fish in excess
A fish that fishes in troubled waters, that is a fish taking advantage of another fish in trouble
A fish that fishes or cuts bait, well, to be or not to be, to retreat or to attack, that is the fishy question
A fish that is neither fish nor fowl, is a fish that is neither one nor the other, lacking some convictions
A fish out of water, is a fish feeling left out, no longer in his accustomed environment
Do you have other fish to fry for now?
Is there other matter requiring my attention?
Poor fish,
the lake is finally fished out from his fishy mind.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Some things that can happen with a fish
A fish that drinks like a fish, that is a fish in excess
A fish that fishes in troubled waters, that is a fish taking advantage of another fish in trouble
A fish that fishes or cuts bait, well, to be or not to be, to retreat or to attack, that is the fishy question
A fish that is neither fish nor fowl, is a fish that is neither one nor the other, lacking some convictions
A fish out of water, is a fish feeling left out, no longer in his accustomed environment
Do you have other fish to fry for now?
Is there other matter requiring my attention?
Poor fish,
the lake is finally fished out from his fishy mind.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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The City Lights
In front of me the city lies stretched out
with pulsating cyber lights
and I wonder how many people
will see the last of life’s light tonight?
I hear smack of a car crash,
in the distant a shot resounds
and somewhere the lights flicker
one after another
even before the dawn
of old comes.
poem by Gert Strydom
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The Breakfast Of The Old Farts
the old farts
did meet for breakfast
of coffee and cookies
and fish and rice
and a pomelo and camote chunks
and they all fart
and part and meet again
only to fart some more
this lunchtime.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Funny Things that Happen.
Funny things that happen quite often to me,
Like going shopping for slippers, and come home without;
Or go out in a tshirt, but find it's back to front I see,
Am I going crazy, what's happening should I shout?
Funny things that happen when you go to ring on the phone,
Then sure it's the right number, but a man says I've been here a year;
So you end up finding the man is your neighbor in his home,
So you gasp for an excuse, to get off the line, realizing he's so near.
Funny things that's happened to my dad one day,
He couldn't find his glasses, that were on his nose;
Where did you two put them now, is what he did say,
Even when we tried to show him, he was still full of woes.
Funny things had happened to me a while ago,
When I was engaged, a doctor thought I was a wife;
He had not read the history, if he had it would show,
But we just laughed, another funny story to my life.
poem by Margaret Haig
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Gargoyles
Pet gargoyles grunt and snore and cough,
But sadly you can't turn them off!
The belch and wheeze and sneeze and spit,
I cannot bear the thought of it!
They slurp and burp, they howl and growl,
They moan and groan; they smell so foul!
Gargoyles gargle, and pass lots of gas,
Their gas it smells like sassafras!
If you get a gargoyle have no fear...
From their FARTS you can make root-beer!
poem by ToddMichael St. Pierre
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Good Things!
It's never too late to do good things...
When those good things come,
To be done!
It should never be a decision made,
Whether to show gratitute...
Whenever an attitude,
Is moody when it comes.
Do it...
No one loses!
It's never too late to show someone there,
You think of them just because you care.
Thinking they will know what it is you feel...
Does little for the one,
Who believes no one is aware...
With feelings that are real.
'How could they,
When they aren't there shown or spoken? '
And it's always a good sign...
To release and let things go!
When doubt is removed,
And your mind has approved
The doing is true and it can be proposed.
Hesitation for you will seldom come to show!
Knowing for you that good is in the doing,
And pursuing it from head to toe...
Has you moving.,
Reaping as you sow.
It's never too late to do good things...
When those good things come,
To be done!
Always contemplate good things,
And good things you did...
Makes those good things done grow!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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